Mr. Midshipman Easy

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by Frederick Marryat


  CHAPTER TWELVE.

  IN WHICH OUR HERO PREFERS GOING DOWN TO GOING UP; A CHOICE, IT IS TO BEHOPED, HE WILL REVERSE UPON A MORE IMPORTANT OCCASION.

  The next day being Sunday, the hands were turned up to divisions, andthe weather not being favourable, instead of the Service, the articlesof war were read with all due respect shown to the same, the captain,officers, and crew with their hats off in a mizzling rain. Jack, whohad been told by the captain that these articles of war were the rulesand regulations of the service, by which the captain, officers, and menwere equally bound, listened to them as they were read by the clerk withthe greatest attention. He little thought that there were about fivehundred orders from the admiralty tacked on to them, which, like thenumerous codicils of some wills, contained the most important matter,and to a certain degree make the will nugatory.

  Jack listened very attentively, and, as each article was propounded,felt that he was not likely to commit himself in that point, and,although he was rather astonished to find such a positive injunctionagainst swearing, considered quite a dead letter in the ship, he thoughtthat, altogether, he saw his way very clear. But to make certain of it,as soon as the hands had been piped down he begged the clerk to let himhave a copy of the articles.

  Now the clerk had three, being the allowance of the ship, or at leastall that he had in his possession, and made some demur at parting withone; but at last he proposed--"some rascal," as he said, "having stolenhis tooth-brush"--that if Jack would give him one he would give him oneof the copies of the articles of war. Jack replied that the one he hadin use was very much worn, and that unfortunately he had but one newone, which he could not spare. Thereupon the clerk, who was a veryclean personage, and could not bear that his teeth should be dirty,agreed to accept the one in use, as Jack could not part with the other.The exchange was made, and Jack read the articles of war over and overagain, till he thought he was fully master of them.

  "Now," says Jack, "I know what I am to do, and what I am to expect, andthese articles of war I will carry in my pocket as long as I'm in theservice; that is to say, if they last so long; and, provided they donot, I am able to replace them with another old tooth-brush, whichappears to be the value attached to them."

  The _Harpy_ remained a fortnight in Gibraltar Bay, and Jack hadoccasionally a run on shore, and Mr Asper invariably went with him tokeep him out of mischief; that is to say, he allowed him to throw hismoney away on nobody more worthless than himself.

  One morning Jack went down in the berth, and found young Gossettblubbering.

  "What's the matter, my dear Mr Gossett?" inquired Jack, who was just aspolite to the youngster as he was to anybody else.

  "Vigors has been thrashing me with a rope's end," replied Gossett,rubbing his arm and shoulders.

  "What for?" inquired Jack.

  "Because he says the service is going to hell--(I'm sure it's no faultof mine)--and that now all subordination is destroyed, and that upstartsjoin the ship who, because they have a five-pound note in their pocket,are allowed to do just as they please. He said he was determined touphold the service, and then he knocked me down--and when I got up againhe told me that I could stand a little more--and then he took out hiscolt, and said he was determined to ride the high horse--and that thereshould be no Equality Jack in future."

  "Well," replied Jack.

  "And then he colted me for half an hour, and that's all."

  "By de soul of my fader, but it all for true, Massa Easy--he larrap, um,sure enough--all for noteing, bad luck to him--I tink," continued Mesty,"he hab debelish bad memory--and he want a little more of EqualityJack."

  "And he shall have it too," replied our hero; "why, it's against thearticles of war, `all quarrelling, fighting, etc.' I say, Mr Gossett,have you got the spirit of a louse?"

  "Yes," replied Gossett.

  "Well, then, will you do what I tell you next time, and trust to me forprotection?"

  "I don't care what I do," replied the boy, "if you will back me againstthe cowardly tyrant."

  "Do you refer to me?" cried Vigors, who had stopped at the door of theberth.

  "Say yes," said Jack.

  "Yes, I do," cried Gossett.

  "You do, do you?--well then, my chick, I must trouble you with a littlemore of this," said Vigors, drawing out his colt.

  "I think that you had better not, Mr Vigors," observed Jack.

  "Mind your own business, if you please," returned Vigors, not muchliking the interference. "I am not addressing my conversation to you,and I will thank you never to interfere with me. I presume I have aright to choose my own acquaintance, and, depend upon it, it will not bethat of a leveller."

  "All that is at your pleasure, Mr Vigors," replied Jack, "you have aright to choose your own acquaintance, and so have I a right to choosemy own friends, and further, to support them. That lad is my friend,Mr Vigors."

  "Then," replied Vigors, who could not help bullying even at the risk ofanother combat which he probably intended to stand, "I shall take theliberty of giving your friend a thrashing;" and he suited the action tothe word.

  "Then I shall take the liberty to defend my friend," replied Jack; "andas you call me a leveller, I'll try if I may not deserve the name"--whereupon Jack placed a blow so well under the ear, that Mr Vigorsdropped on the deck, and was not in condition to come to the scratch,even if he had been inclined. "And now, youngster," said Jack, wrestingthe colt out of Vigors's hand, "do as I bid you--give him a goodcolting--if you don't I'll thrash you."

  Gossett required no second threat--the pleasure of thrashing his enemy,if only for once, was quite enough--and he laid well on. Jack with hisfists doubled ready to protect him if there was a show of resistance,but Vigors was half stupified with the blow under the ear, and quitecowed; he took his thrashing in the most passive manner.

  "That will do," said Jack, "and now do not be afraid, Gossett; the veryfirst time he offers to strike you when I am not present, I will pay himoff for it as soon as you tell me. I won't be called Equality Jack fornothing."

  When Jolliffe, who heard of this, met our hero alone, he said to him,"Take my advice, boy, and do not in future fight the battles of others,you'll find very soon that you will have enough to do to fight yourown."

  Whereupon Jack argued the point for half an hour, and then theyseparated. But Mr Jolliffe was right. Jack began to find himselfconstantly in hot water, and the captain and first lieutenant, althoughthey did not really withdraw their protection, thought it high time thatJack should find out that, on board a man-of-war, everybody andeverything must find its level.

  There was on board of his Majesty's sloop _Harpy_, a man of the name ofEasthupp, who did the duty of purser's steward; this was the second shipthat he had served in; in the former he had been sent with a draft ofmen from the Tender lying off the Tower. How he had come into theservice was not known in the present ship, but the fact was, that he hadbeen one of the swell mob--and had been sent on board the Tender with aletter of recommendation from the magistrates to Captain Crouch. He wasa cockney by birth, for he had been left at the workhouse of St. MaryAxe, where he had, been taught to read and write, and had afterwardsmade his escape. He joined the juvenile thieves of the metropolis, hadbeen sent to Bridewell, obtained his liberty, and by degrees had risenfrom petty thieving of goods exposed outside of the shops andmarket-stalls, to the higher class of gentlemen pickpockets. Hisappearance was some what genteel, with a bullying sort of an impudentair, which is mistaken for fashion by those who know no better. Aremarkable neat dresser, for that was part of his profession; a veryplausible manner and address; a great fluency of language, although heclipped the king's English; and, as he had suffered more than once bythe law, it is not to be wondered at that he was, as he called himself,a _hout-and-hout_ radical. During the latter part of his service, inhis last ship, he had been employed under the purser's steward, andhaving offered himself in this capacity to the purser of H.M. sloop_Harpy_, with one or two forged certificates, he h
ad been accepted.

  Now, when Mr Easthupp heard of Jack's opinions, he wished to cultivatehis acquaintance, and with a bow and a flourish, introduced himselfbefore they arrived at Gibraltar, but our hero took an immediate disliketo this fellow from his excessive and impertinent familiarity.

  Jack knew a gentleman when he met one, and did not choose to be acompanion to a man beneath him in every way, but who, upon the strengthof Jack's liberal opinions, presumed to be his equal. Jack's equalitydid not go so far as that; in theory it was all very well, but inpractice it was only when it suited his own purpose.

  But the purser's steward was not to be checked--a man who has belongedto the swell mob is not easily repulsed; and although Jack would plainlyshow him that his company was not agreeable, Easthupp would constantlyaccost him familiarly on the forecastle and lower deck, with his armsfolded, and with an air almost amounting to superiority. At last, Jacktold him to go about his business, and not to presume to talk to him,whereupon Easthupp rejoined, and after an exchange of hard words, itended by Jack kicking Mr Easthupp, as he called himself, down theafter-lower-deck hatchway. This was but a sorry specimen of Jack'sequality--and Mr Easthupp, who considered that his honour had beencompromised, went up to the captain on the quarter-deck, and lodged hiscomplaint--whereupon Captain Wilson desired that Mr Easy might besummoned.

  As soon as Jack made his appearance, Captain Wilson called to Easthupp."Now, purser's steward, what is this you have to say?"

  "If you please, Captain Vilson, I am wery sorry to be obliged to makehany complaint of hany hofficer, but this Mr Heasy thought proper tomake use of language quite hunbecoming of a gentleman, and then to kickme as I vent down the atchvay."

  "Well, Mr Easy, is this true?"

  "Yes, sir," replied Jack; "I have several times told the fellow not toaddress himself to me, and he will. I did tell him he was a radicalblackguard, and I did kick him down the hatchway."

  "You told him he was a radical blackguard, Mr Easy?"

  "Yes, sir; he comes bothering me about his republic, and asserting thatwe have no want of a king and aristocracy."

  Captain Wilson looked significantly at Mr Sawbridge.

  "I crtainly did hoffer my political opinions, Captain Vilson; but youmust be avare that ve hall ave an hequal stake in the country--and it'sa Hinglishman's birthright."

  "I'm not aware what your stake in the country may be, Mr Easthupp,"observed Captain Wilson, "but I think that, if you used suchexpressions, Mr Easy was fully warranted in telling you his opinion."

  "I ham villing, Captain Vilson, to make hany hallowance for the eat ofpolitical discussion--but that is not hall that I ave to complain hof.Mr Easy thought proper to say that I was a swindler and a liar."

  "Did you make use of those expressions, Mr Easy?"

  "Yes, sir, he did," continued the steward, "and, moreover, told me notto cheat the men, and not to cheat my master the purser. Now, CaptainVilson, is it not true that I am in a wery hostensible sitevation, but Iflatter myself that I ave been vell edecated, and vos vonce moving in awery different society--misfortains vill appin to us hall, and I feel mycharacter has been severely injured by such impertations;" whereupon MrEasthupp took out his handkerchief, flourished, and blew his nose. "Itold Mr Heasy that I considered myself quite as much of a gentleman ashimself, and at hall hewents did not keep company with a black feller(Mr Heasy will understand the insinevation), vereupon Mr Heasy, as Ibefore said, your vorship, I mean you, Captain Vilson, thought proper tokick me down the atchvay."

  "Very well, steward, I have heard your complaint, and now you may go."

  Mr Easthupp took his hat off with an air, made his bow, and went downthe main ladder.

  "Mr Easy," said Captain Wilson, "you must be aware that, by theregulations of the service by which we are all equally bound, it is notpermitted that any officer shall take the law into his own hands. Now,although I do not consider it necessary to make any remark as to yourcalling the man a radical blackguard, for I consider his impertinentintrusion of his opinions deserved it, still you have no right to attackany man's character without grounds--and as that man is in an office oftrust, you were not at all warranted in asserting that he was a cheat.Will you explain to me why you made use of such language?"

  Now our hero had no proofs against the man; he had nothing to offer inextenuation, until he recollected, all at once, the reason assigned bythe captain for the language used by Mr Sawbridge. Jack had the wit toperceive that it would hit home, so he replied, very quietly andrespectfully:

  "If you please, Captain Wilson, that was all zeal."

  "Zeal, Mr Easy? I think it but a bad excuse. But pray, then, why didyou kick the man down the hatchway?--you must have known that that wascontrary to the rules of the service."

  "Yes, sir," replied Jack demurely, "but that was all zeal too."

  "Then allow me to say," replied Captain Wilson, biting his lips, "that Ithink that your zeal has in this instance been very much misplaced, andI trust you will not show so much again."

  "And yet, sir," replied Jack, aware that he was giving the captain ahard hit, and therefore looked proportionally humble, "we should donothing in the service without it--and I trust one day, as you told me,to become a very zealous officer."

  "I trust so too, Mr Easy," replied the captain. "There, you may gonow, and let me hear no more of kicking people down the hatchway. Thatsort of zeal is misplaced."

  "More than my foot was, at all events," muttered Jack, as he walked off.

  Captain Wilson, as soon as our hero disappeared, laughed heartily, andtold Mr Sawbridge "he had ascribed his language to our hero as allzeal. He has very cleverly given me it all back again; and really,Sawbridge, as it proves how weak was my defence of you, you may gainfrom this lesson."

  Sawbridge thought so too--but both agreed that Jack's rights of man werein considerable danger.

  The day before the ship sailed, the Captain and Mr Asper dined with thegovernor, and as there was little more to do, Mr Sawbridge, who had notquitted the ship since she had been in port, and had some few purchasesto make, left her in the afternoon in the charge of Mr Smallsole, themaster. Now, as we have observed, he was Jack's inveterate enemy--indeed Jack had already made three, Mr Smallsole, Mr Biggs theboatswain, and Easthupp, the purser's steward. Mr Smallsole was gladto be left in command, as he hoped to have an opportunity of punishingour hero, who certainly laid himself not a little open to it.

  Like all those who are seldom in command, the master was proportionallytyrannical and abusive--he swore at the men, made them do the duty twiceand thrice over on the pretence that it was not smartly done, and foundfault with every officer remaining on board.

  "Mr Biggs--by God, sir, you seem to be all asleep forward; I supposeyou think that you are to do nothing, now the first lieutenant is out ofthe ship? How long will it be, sir, before you are ready to sway away?"

  "By de holy poker, I tink he sway away finely, Massa Easy," observedMesty, who was in converse with our hero on the forecastle.

  Mr Smallsole's violence made Mr Biggs violent, which made theboatswain's mate violent--and the captain of the forecastle violentalso; all which is practically exemplified by philosophy in the laws ofmotion, communicated from one body to another: and as Mr Smallsoleswore, so did the boatswain swear--also the boatswain's mate, thecaptain of the forecastle, and all the men; showing the force ofexample.

  Mr Smallsole came forward--"Damnation, Mr Biggs, what the devil areyou about? can't you move here?"

  "As much as we can, sir," replied the boatswain, "lumbered as theforecastle is with idlers;" and here Mr Biggs looked at our hero andMesty, who were standing against the bulwark.

  "What are you doing here, sir?" cried Mr Smallsole to our hero.

  "Nothing at all, sir," replied Jack.

  "Then I'll give you something to do, sir. Go up to the mast-head, andwait there till I call you down. Come, sir, I'll show you the way,"continued the master, walking aft. Jack followed till they we
re on thequarter-deck.

  "Now, sir, up to the main-top gallant mast-head; perch yourself upon thecross trees--up with you."

  "What am I to go up there for, sir?" inquired Jack.

  "For punishment, sir," replied the master.

  "What have I done, sir?"

  "No reply, sir--up with you."

  "If you please, sir," replied Jack, "I should wish to argue this point alittle."

  "Argue the point," roared Mr Smallsole. "By Jove, I'll teach you toargue the point--away with you, sir."

  "If you please, sir," continued Jack, "the captain told me that thearticles of war were the rules and regulations by which every one in theservice was to be guided. Now, sir," said Jack, "I have read them overtill I know them by heart, and there is not one word of mast-heading inthe whole of them." Here Jack took the articles out of his pocket, andunfolded them.

  "Will you go to the mast-head, sir, or will you not?" said MrSmallsole.

  "Will you show me the mast-head in the articles of war, sir," repliedJack; "here they are."

  "I tell you, sir, to go to the mast-head if not, I'll be damned if Idon't hoist you up in a bread-bag."

  "There's nothing about bread-bags in the articles of war," replied Jack;"but I'll tell you what there is, sir," and Jack commenced reading:

  "All flag officers, and all persons in or belonging to his Majesty'sships or vessels of war, being guilty of profane oaths, execrations,drunkenness, uncleanness, or other scandalous actions, in derogation ofGod's honour, and corruption of good manners, shall incur suchpunishment as--"

  "Damnation," cried the master, who was mad with rage, hearing that thewhole ship's company were laughing.

  "No, sir, not damnation," replied Jack, "that's when he's tried above;but according to the nature and degree of the offence--"

  "Will you go to the mast-head, sir, or will you not?"

  "If you please," replied Jack, "I'd rather not."

  "Then, sir, consider yourself under an arrest--I'll try you by acourt-martial, by God. Go down below, sir."

  "With the greatest of pleasure, sir," replied Jack, "that's all right,and according to the articles of war, which are to guide us all." Jackfolded up his articles of war, put them into his pocket, and went downinto the berth.

  Soon after Jack had gone down, Jolliffe, who had heard the whole of thealtercation, followed him. "My lad," said Jolliffe, "I'm sorry for allthis; you should have gone to the mast-head."

  "I should like to argue that point a little," replied Jack.

  "Yes, so would everybody; but if that were permitted, the service wouldbe at a standstill--that would not do;--you must obey an order first,and then complain afterwards, if the order is unjust."

  "It is not so in the articles of war."

  "But it is so in the service."

  "The captain told me that the articles of war were the guides of theservice, and we were all equally bound to obey them."

  "Well, but allowing that, I do not think your articles of war will bearyou out. You observe, they say any officer, mariner, etcetera, guiltyof disobedience to any lawful command. Now are you not guilty underthat article?"

  "That remains to be argued still," replied Jack. "A lawful commandmeans an order established by law; now where is that law?--besides, thecaptain told me when I kicked that blackguard down the hatchway, thatthere was only the captain who could punish, and that officers could nottake the law into their own hands; why then has the master?"

  "His doing wrong as superior officer is no reason why you as an inferiorshould disobey him. If that were permitted--if every order were to becavilled at and argued upon, as just or unjust, there would be an end ofall discipline. Besides, recollect, that in the service there iscustom, which is the same as law."

  "That admits of a little argument," replied Jack.

  "The service will admit of none, my dear boy: recollect that, even onshore, we have two laws, that which is written, and the _lex nonscripta_, which is custom; of course we have it in the service, for thearticles of war cannot provide for everything."

  "They provide a court-martial for everything though," replied Jack.

  "Yes, with death or dismissal from the service--neither of which wouldbe very agreeable. You have got yourself into a scrape, and althoughthe captain is evidently your friend, he cannot overlook it:fortunately, it is with the master, which is of less consequence thanwith the other officers; but still, you will have to submit, for thecaptain cannot overlook it."

  "I'll tell you what, Jolliffe," replied Jack, "my eyes now begin to beopened to a great many things. The captain tells me, when I amastonished at bad language, that it is all zeal, and then I found outthat what is all zeal in a superior to an inferior, is insolence whenreversed. He tells me, that the articles of war are made to equallyguide us all--the master breaks what is positively mentioned in thesecond article twenty times over, and goes scot free, while I am to bepunished, because I do not comply with what the articles do not mention.How was I to know that I ought to go to the mast-head for punishment?particularly when the captain tells me that he alone is to punish in theship. If I obey an order in opposition to the captain's order, is notthat as bad as disobeying the captain? I think that I have made out avery strong case, and my arguments are not to be confuted."

  "I'm afraid that the master will make out a very strong case, and thatyour arguments will never be heard."

  "That will be contrary to all the rules of justice."

  "But according to all the rules of service."

  "I do believe that I am a great fool," observed Jack, after a pause."What do you imagine made me come to sea, Jolliffe?"

  "Because you did not know when you were well off," replied the matedryly.

  "That's true enough; but my reason was, because I thought I should findthat equality here that I could not find on shore."

  Jolliffe stared.

  "My dear boy, I heard you say that you obtained those opinions from yourfather; I mean no disrespect to him, but he must be either mad orfoolish, if at his age he has not yet discovered that there is no suchthing in existence."

  "I begin to think so," replied Jack; "but that does not prove that thereought not to be."

  "I beg your pardon; the very non-existence proves that it ought not tobe--`whatever is, is right'--you might as well expect to find perfecthappiness or perfection in the individual. Your father must be avisionary."

  "The best thing that I can do is to go home again."

  "No, my dear Easy, the best thing that you can do is to stay in theservice, for it will soon put an end to all such nonsensical ideas; andit will make you a clever, sensible fellow. The service is a rough, buta good school, where everybody finds his level--not the level ofequality, but the level which his natural talent and acquirements willrise or sink him to, in proportion as they are plus or minus. It is anoble service, but has its imperfections, as everything in this worldmust have. I have little reason to speak in its favour, as far as I amconcerned, for it has been hard bread to me, but there must beexceptions in every rule. Do not think of quitting the service untilyou have given it a fair trial. I am aware that you are an only son,and your father is a man of property, and, therefore, in the commonparlance of the world, you are independent; but, believe me, no man,however rich, is independent, unless he has a profession, and you willfind no better than this, notwithstanding--"

  "What?"

  "That you will be, most certainly, sent to the mast-head to-morrow."

  "We'll argue that point," replied Jack; "at all events, I will go andturn in to-night."

 

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