by Ava Miles
“Are real life to me,” her friend finished. “I think I’ve found what I’m meant to do.”
The passion weaving its way through her strong voice was something Susannah understood. She felt the same way about art. Her mama had supported her abilities, but she hadn’t waved off practical considerations. Everyone knew art wasn’t much of a career. So she’d charted a course that mixed art and business. Her decorating business provided the money and freedom that allowed her to pursue her art work.
“I’m happy for you,” she answered. “And now you have Clayton as well.”
She raised a hand to her heart. “Yes, I love him. Everything is…so beautiful between us. I haven’t said anything about this, but I’ve wanted to be with him for so long. It’s a miracle that he’s finally let me in.”
Clayton Chandler, a miracle? She was seriously going to have to reexamine her impression of him. Perhaps he was changing because of Amelia Ann.
“And does he love you?” she asked.
Her mouth curved into a smile, and Susannah had her answer. “I’m so happy for you. I hope he continues to be all you want and more.”
“You’re the best,” Amelia Ann said. “And as for what you’ve created, you’re going to knock everyone’s socks off when you unveil it. Rye is going to be gobsmacked.”
“Gobsmacked, huh?”
“Clayton too. Are you still sure you’d rather not present this to Clayton yourself? I know he’s going to love it.”
“No, why don’t you continue to be the go-between? You’ve enjoyed it.” The last word was said with a purr and delivered with a wink.
Her friend’s shrug was completely sassy. “I won’t deny it. Send me the file, and I’ll show him tonight? I won’t be able to contain myself.”
Susannah laughed. “Sure thing. Just promise you’ll text me and tell me what he thinks. Immediately. Good or bad.”
“Stop! He’s going to love it. Trust me. Clayton likes the truth served straight up.”
And if he didn’t, her friend was going to steam roll all over him. Of that she had no doubt.
“A toast,” Amelia Ann declared, raising her glass. “To the women who inspired this beautiful piece you created.”
The crystal sang out when their glasses connected, and in that moment, Susannah’s heart felt as full as her wine glass.
Chapter 33
Though she’d intended to come clean to her family—and then Clayton—sooner rather than later, Amelia Ann had used the work week as an excuse to delay the inevitable. It only made her feel worse that her schedule was less busy than it had been in weeks. Clayton was arranging the shooting of the media spots now that they’d selected their three choices, and as she’d predicted, Susannah’s collage for the concert had stunned him speechless. Amelia Ann’s work for the concert was essentially complete.
Worry had filled all that new spare time instead, like an hourglass with sand.
Tammy had checked in with her every few days, but she’d mentioned Amelia Ann’s revelation all of once, and only then to reiterate she would be there for her sister when she was ready to tell the rest of the family. Every time she envisioned it, fear threatened to crush her. How were they going to take the news?
When she woke up on Saturday morning, she was a junkyard of nerves. She’d spent every night with Clayton, and he’d picked up on her mood. Whenever he asked her about it, she put him off by saying she was working through something. So far he’d been patient, but she could tell he was concerned. Well, it was time to face the music and talk to Rye and her daddy. She wasn’t working at Community today, and Tammy would be off as well, although she’d be with her family. J.P. would be more than willing to watch the kids, she knew.
It was time to face the music.
She woke Clayton up and made love to him with something akin to desperation. After they both climaxed, they stayed intertwined—him still nestled all snug inside her—and he stroked her face and looked deep into her eyes.
“Please tell me what’s wrong, princess. It’s ripping my guts out, seeing you this upset.”
She caressed his back, fighting the urge to cling to him. “You know I love you, right?”
His eyes sought hers like she was a puzzle he was trying to piece together in his mind. “You know I do. Now tell me what’s wrong.”
She hugged him to her. “I need to talk to my family first. Today. I’ll tell you afterwards.”
He pushed back from her. “You’re scaring me, you know.”
She forced a smile, but she couldn’t sustain it. “Don’t be. Everything’s going to be okay. Just remember I love you.”
“You’re asking a lot of me right now,” he said with a sigh. “You know that, right?”
“I do. Can you…would you mind staying here and waiting for me?”
She hated to ask it, but she needed, no, wanted to have him here when she returned from Rye’s. He would hold her, and she would tell him what she’d done. He’d be upset, certainly, but he loved her. It would be all right. His strength would help her deal with the fallout of whatever happened with Rye and Daddy.
“I’ll be here,” he said with a terse nod.
“Then hold me,” she whispered. “Just a little longer before I go.”
He snuggled down next to her and pulled her to him, caressing her sweetly without saying a word.
Two hours later, she met Tammy at Rye’s house and nearly burst into tears when her sister pulled her into a hug on the front porch.
“I still can’t believe you’ve forgiven me,” she whispered against her sister’s neck.
“I do, and they will too.”
When Tammy drew back, Amelia Ann rubbed her arms against a chill that had nothing to do with the fall air.
“Just tell them everything you told me.”
Rye and Daddy were grim when Tory led them into the family room, and she almost laughed hysterically, wondering if they thought she was about to tell them she was pregnant by Clayton. One thing was for sure—they couldn’t be expecting what she was about to say.
Her sister-in-law sat beside Rye on the couch and took his hand. In a show of support, Tammy sat next to her on the adjoining love seat and squeezed her hand hard.
Daddy rose from his chair across from them to kiss her cheek. “Whatever you have to tell us, honey, we love you.”
With that encouragement, he sat back down. Amelia Ann took a deep breath, and like the anticipated pain before getting a shot at the doctor’s office, she knew a powerful hurt before she even opened her mouth.
“I was the leak,” she said in a hushed tone, shame lacing her voice.
Rye flinched. Tory’s mouth parted in shock, and Daddy, well, he clutched his heart, scaring her half to death.
“Tell them why,” Tammy said softly, and Rye glanced sharply at their sister as if he couldn’t believe she’d known something like this without telling him.
Through tears she explained haltingly why she’d called Gunner Nolan from Meade’s beauty parlor on that horrible hot day. At one point, Rye turned his head away as if he couldn’t bear to look at her, and she had to stop talking for a moment because she was crying too hard to get the words out.
By the time she was finished, Daddy’s color was gray, and Tory and Tammy were crying too.
“I’m so sorry,” she said for the tenth time. “I’m just so sorry.”
Daddy rose from his chair and walked over to her. He held his hands out, so she let go of Tammy and placed her hands in his. He drew her into his arms.
“Nothing in this family is unforgiveable, darlin’,” he said in a voice that quavered. “Nothing.”
She cried in his arms and felt his own tears wet the top of her head.
“Oh, sugar,” he kept repeating, rocking her back and forth.
When they finally broke apart, he kept one arm around her. She looked at her brother. She’d only seen that devastation in his eyes once before, right after he was disowned, thrown out by his own family. It was a p
ain she’d never wanted to see in his face again, least of all cause.
“Rye, I’m so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?”
His eyes turned wet, and he pursed his lips like he was fighting the urge to cry with the rest of them. “I heard everything you said, but I still can’t believe you’d hurt your family like this.”
Tears rolled down her face. “I know there are no excuses for what I’ve done. I know it.”
“She was trying to make sure I didn’t go back to Sterling, Rye,” Tammy said, drawing everyone’s eyes to her. “I’ve known for a few days now, and I’ve had to ask myself if that was a possibility.”
Tammy’s gaze locked with hers, and she could see the pain in her sister’s eyes. It was the pain of self-reflection.
“I might have gone back to him, Rye. Daddy had just had a heart attack, and you’d just come back to Meade. Everything was a mess, and I was screaming on the inside. I can’t say for certain I…wouldn’t have returned to Sterling, to what I knew.”
“Bullshit!” Rye shouted, rising off the couch, hands turning into fists by his sides. “That’s bullshit, Tammy, and I hate that she made you think that of yourself.”
“You weren’t there, Rye, day in and day out, hearing her blame a sprained wrist or rib on a horse riding accident,” Amelia Ann yelled back, unable to stop herself now. “You weren’t there!”
Daddy patted her trembling back. “No, he wasn’t. I was…and I…remember. I didn’t want to believe Tammy was being hurt either, that something so evil was possible. My mind rebelled from the very thought, but there was suspicion that clung inside me like a blood-sucking parasite when I heard Tammy give her excuses. We were all to blame for not doing anything about it, and I’ll go to my grave regretting my passivity.”
Tammy leaned against Daddy’s shoulder, and he made room for her too, holding them both.
“Daddy, no one could have helped me then. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t speak up for myself, and in the end, it was Rye taking matters into his own hands that gave me the final push I needed to escape my marriage. I look back on our conversation that night, when Rye offered Sterling the money, and I’m not sure who really asked Sterling for the divorce. Was it me? Or was it Rye?”
“I won’t stand for any more of this talk,” Rye said in a loud voice. “You wanted to leave Sterling, and I helped. End of story. As for you going back to him, Tammy, that’s bullshit. Amelia Ann’s actions were immature and rash, and I hope she’s learned her lesson.”
“Rye,” Tory said softly, rising and putting a hand on his arm.
“Don’t ‘Rye’ me. What Amelia Ann did was inexcusable. She called a tabloid…a fu—freaking tabloid about the private workings of her own family. Her own family! Don’t try and put lipstick on that pig.”
“No one’s doing that, Rye,” Daddy said in a firm tone. “But we can see why a young woman who was scared her sister might return to a husband who beat her—with her niece and nephew, mind you—would think her last resort was to publicly humiliate her sister so she couldn’t go back to him. I may not like what happened, but I understand it. I thought you would be man enough to understand it too.”
Rye stuck his chin out. “I’m sorry you’re disappointed in me, sir.”
Amelia Ann bit her lip. Rye hadn’t called Daddy sir like that since they’d made amends.
“Maybe I should go,” Amelia Ann said, fighting the urge to start bawling again. “I don’t want to cause any more hurt between anyone.”
“Too late,” Rye snapped, staring at her with tortured, heated eyes.
“We’ll go too, then,” Daddy said, rubbing her back. “Perhaps a little time for reflection will bring compassion back into your heart, son.”
Rye scrubbed at his eyes as he turned away and stared out the back windows.
Tory stepped in front of him, putting a hand on his chest. “Don’t let them leave like this,” she whispered in an anguished voice. “You’ve all come so far together.”
“Not enough, it seems,” Rye replied in a harsh tone.
Tammy walked a few steps toward him. “I don’t understand why you’re being this way, Rye. What Amelia Ann did affected me the most out of everyone, and I managed to forgive her. I hope you can do the same—for all our sakes. I’m pretty…fond of the family we’ve become, and it will break my heart in two if we lose it.”
Tears were streaming down everyone’s faces now, including Daddy. Rye kept his face averted from them, his stance uncompromising.
“I’m sorry, Rye,” she entreated one last time. “I’ll do everything I can to make it right. Just…don’t stop…being my brother.”
The muscles in his back flinched, but he didn’t move.
In defeat, she wiped her face. “I’ll be going.”
“You can come over to my house, honey,” Daddy said. “We can talk this out more there.”
“I’ll meet you,” Tammy added.
When Rye didn’t budge, Tory followed them to the front door and embraced each of them, saving Amelia Ann for last. Her sister-in-law hugged her fiercely.
“It’s a big shock to him,” she said. “He’ll come around. He loves you, Amelia Ann.”
In that moment, she wasn’t sure her brother loved her enough, and as she left his house, she wondered if she’d ever be invited to return.
Chapter 34
By the time she made it back to her townhouse, Amelia Ann’s entire body was hollow. Daddy and Tammy had talked with her over tea, and together they’d faced down the demons of the past. They’d shared all their old fears and regrets about Tammy’s marriage with Sterling. Daddy hadn’t said too much, but he broke down crying at one point and said he’d been a failure as a father. He begged them to forgive him.
If her heart hadn’t been broken before, hearing that, seeing him like that, would have broken it into a million tiny pieces.
By the end of their time together, everyone had agreed that while they might not be completely healed from past events, they’d achieved a mighty lot today.
No one mentioned Rye. He would have to come to terms with the truth in his own way. Amelia Ann wasn’t sure what that looked like, and she feared Clayton’s reaction now like the larger-than-life boogey monster in the closet. Before, she’d thought for sure he would understand, his love would be great enough for him to forgive, but Rye hadn’t…and the two were an awful lot alike in some ways.
A strong sense of foreboding weighed down on her shoulders as she let herself in her townhouse. He was waiting for her on the couch, and he rose the minute she closed the door. She let him gather her into his arms, taking comfort from his touch.
“Can you tell me now?” he whispered against her neck.
Nodding, she took his hand and led him to the couch. He sat beside her.
“Whatever it is, I love you,” he said, causing tears to streak down her face.
She took a cleansing breath and stared into his worried gray eyes. “I was the leak.”
His head darted back. “What?”
“I called the tabloid because I wanted to humiliate Tammy so badly she could never go back to Sterling.”
His whole face seemed to turn hard right before her eyes—just like her brother’s had.
She made herself press on. “I was afraid for Tammy and Rory and Annabelle, and I…didn’t see any other way to protect her. Them. Clayton, I’m so sorry. You can’t know how much.”
He shoved her hand away and rose, towering over her, radiating rage and horror. Then he turned his back to her. And started moving toward her front door.
He was leaving her.
Even though exhaustion seemed to have been poured into the very marrow of her bones, she darted off the couch and followed him.
“Tammy has forgiven me, and so has Daddy. Clayton, please talk to me. I love you.”
He opened the door and met her gaze. The man who’d said he loved her was gone, extinguished like a candle by her one admission. “There’s nothing more to say.”
&
nbsp; And he walked out on her, true to his word.
Chapter 35
After crying for almost an hour, Amelia Ann finally took a shower and had a cup of tea. Clayton’s reaction was like a death sentence to their relationship. Were his own morals so rigid he couldn’t forgive her for failing to live up to them?
Well, until he told her why, she wouldn’t know. Certainly pulling a horse through a thunderstorm was easier than getting Clayton to talk about his feelings, but now wasn’t the time for her to surrender in defeat. She summoned all her remaining energy and drove to his house.
The lights were on, and his truck was parked out front. He was home.
She knocked on the door, but he didn’t answer it. “Clayton, I know you’re in there. Please open the door and talk to me. I love you! I can’t make things right between us unless you tell me why you’re so upset.”
Her raised voice didn’t bring him to her, nor did pounding on his front door. He wasn’t going to come, she realized, and she kicked the door in frustration. You’re just like my brother, she wanted to yell, but that thought only made her cry. Rye, her beloved brother, had turned away from her too.
Resting her head against his door, she thought wildly for something she could say that would make him open it. Then she realized what would do it.
“Clayton, I’m going to ride Odin. Right now. If you don’t open this door.”
The night was overcast and dark. Fall was creeping into the ground, stealing summer’s coveted position.
“I mean it!” she shouted even though she knew riding in the dark would be one of those rash actions Rye had accused her of earlier.
Tonight she didn’t care. She wasn’t going to let another man she loved ice her out. Not without a fight. And she knew better than anyone how to fight with Clayton.
“Fine! I’m going to the barn.”
Striding off, she prayed he’d come so she wouldn’t actually have to make good on her threat.
The barn smelled of fresh hay and manure, and the horses snuffled when she turned on the lights. She headed to Odin’s stall, fighting the urge to cry in defeat. The black horse nudged her with his wet nose, and she wrapped her hand in his mane, tears starting to roll down her cheeks.