by Ruby Dixon
Plus, who really thinks of clones when they see two similar-looking guys? Really now.
"Mmm. Perhaps this big gold gwoof—"
"Goof, though I do like the sound of ‘gwoof.’"
He tilts my head and nips my ear to shut me up. For a moment, there's nothing but the sound of Willa and Gren—and my god, those two are noisy fuckers (literally) and distracting as hell. Then Ashtar continues. "Perhaps this big gold goof wishes to claim his mate and share his fires with her and things keep getting in the way."
I sigh, because they really do. "I want that, too."
He nips my ear again, sending shivers through my body. My cootie starts its engine and I feel a pulse of heat low in my belly. Willa moans again (sounds like he's killing her over there, in the best sort of way), and it only heightens my need. "I don't suppose you want to put your hand down my pants right about now, do you? Because I'm willing to do the same for you. I'm just throwing it out there. Dual handies. Everyone goes home happy."
"No," he tells me, and I want to pout. "You need to rest. The moment you are better, I am shifting to my battle form and taking you somewhere private so I can give you my fires. So we can mate." He drags the tip of his tongue—that textured, textured tongue—against the shell of my ear, and then continues. "And so we can make even more noise than they are."
I bite back my own moan of response. "What about your wing? I still need to heal the other."
"My wing has been destroyed for more than twenty years. It can wait until you take my fires. I would rather have that than anything else." His gaze burns with heat, and I shiver with how much I want him.
"And then we go back to the tribe?" I ask.
He's quiet.
Damn it, not this again. "Ashtar," I warn. "These people need a healer."
"They need to learn to take care of themselves." His mouth flattens in an angry line. "We do not need them."
"Sure we do." I struggle to sit up, pushing off his arms. I don't want him to cuddle me, not right now when I'm trying to be angry at him. "What if I went unconscious like this when we were in the middle of nowhere? Who would have your back?"
Now his unhappy expression flattens into an outright scowl. "No one 'has my back.' I do not need someone to 'have my back.'"
"You do!" I poke his rock-hard stomach that I desperately want to lick if I didn't feel so trampled. "I need training and you need friends. And we both need supplies."
"Bah."
"No 'bah.' I'm serious. I want you to have friends. You don't want to end up like Gren." I keep my voice low for the last part so no one will hear me. Of course, I don't think they'll be able to hear anything over their own noise-making. "People and relationships with people are important."
His eyes flick darker. "The only person I want a relationship with is you."
Is he going to play hardball? Because I can do that, too. "You want a relationship with me?"
"Yes."
"You want me to run off with you somewhere private?" He nods, and I continue. "Then you need to prove to me you can make a friend first. Just one. You do that, and I'll go off to some cave with you and spend however long we need to fulfill resonance, and then we can decide where we want to stay afterward."
Ashtar scowls at me as if I've said something grossly offensive.
"I need to lie here for a few days to regain my strength anyhow, right?" I fake a yawn and flutter my lashes at him. "Plenty of time for you to befriend Hassen. Or Zolaya. Or even Gren or Willa."
"You will hold this over my head? Refuse to mate with me simply because I do not care for others?" Ashtar looks furious, and I can feel his body tensing as he holds me. "You will say this to me after I have watched over you for days, worried about you and cared for you? And now because I do not like other people, you will withhold yourself from me?"
I sigh. When he puts it that way, it is a dick move. "No. I wouldn't hold myself back from you, Ashtar." I reach up and caress his beautiful, angry face, because I need to touch him. "I don't think I could if I tried." His expression softens, and I rub my thumb against his strange golden skin. "I just want you to try for my sake. Is that so terrible a thing? To do something because I'd like it, even if it doesn't match what you want to do? Because I would like to be part of the tribe. You may not need people, but I think I do."
He gazes down at me for so long that I worry he's going to refuse me again. Instead, he takes my hand from his cheek and presses a kiss to it. "For your sake, I will try."
"That's all that I ask," I tell him happily.
25
ASHTAR
Veronica sleeps through the night and into the morning, tired. She wakes up to eat and drink, tucks herself against me, and then promptly falls back asleep again. I know she needs the rest, and so I expect this. Unfortunately, it also gives me a lot of time to think about her request.
She thinks I should have friends.
That I should need people. That I should sit around and talk with them as if they are not going to pass back out of my life again in one day or twenty. And perhaps these people won't. Perhaps it'll be different than it was in the slave pits, where you didn't talk to anyone you encountered, lest you give away your battle “tells” and give an opponent an edge. It did no good to make friends when I might be fighting them the next day or they might die in battle the next morning.
She wants me to make friends, but like Gren's constant growling and snarling, I have been taught by the arena, too. I have been taught that friends are a weakness.
But then again, so is a mate. And I would not trade my Veronica for anything. Being with her makes me want something different for myself, something I never imagined I'd have. A family. A home to call my own. Young ones. None of these things were for a gladiator…but now I want them for me.
So perhaps I will try to make a friend after all.
Just one, though. Not more than that. I only need to show my mate that I am trying to appease her. No more.
The moaning and grunting in Willa and Gren's corner of the cave starts up once more. I roll my eyes at my sleeping mate, because I have been stuck here listening to that all night. It seems that they are very enthusiastically fulfilling resonance.
Over and over and over again.
It makes it difficult to concentrate, especially when my own perfect, desirable mate is asleep next to me. My khui sings its song, but Veronica's is too tired to respond. Just as well, because my need for her grows fiercer by the day. I gently disentangle my limbs from hers, leave her sleeping in the furs, and dress in my loincloth, since such things are important to my mate. I head out of the cave for fresh air and silence. I follow the long path out, lifting my head once before I leave the cave to fill my nose with my mate's scent. She sleeps, her scent sweaty and pleasant. There is no arousal or fear or any scent change that would indicate she's awakened, just the light smell of her in my nose…and the heavy, musky stink of Willa and Gren's incessant mating.
Fresh air. That is what I need.
I emerge from the cave into the weak sunlight of this planet and look around. The sa-khui have set up an encampment at the base of the path, at the bottom of the cliff. Two of them sit near a fire, and a third has recently joined them. He stands nearby, his arms crossed. From behind me in the cave, more cries and growls echo in the air. They were smart to get farther away. I head down the path toward them, my bare feet unaffected by the sharp rocks of the mountainside.
The others look up as I approach, lifting a hand in greeting. I return it with a raised hand of my own and feel strange as I do so.
"How fares your pretty mate?" Hassen asks as I move to stand by the fire.
He thinks she is pretty? A jealous snarl forms in my throat and my body stiffens. Doesn't he have a mate of his own? He—
Someone else shoves a bone cup into my hands. Zolaya. "It is only a polite question," he says. "Hassen has no designs on your mate."
This makes Hassen laugh. "Should I have said she was almost as pretty as my Ma
h-dee? But her form is not as pleasing? My Mah-dee has the most impressive teats." He sighs and gets a faraway look on his face, and sadness flickers over his face. "I am ready to see her again."
"Soon enough," Zolaya says.
"Everyone thinks their mate is the best looking," the newcomer says. "That is how resonance works."
"Ask Bek how he burned to mate with his Ell-ee even when she was covered in dirt." Hassen grins into his own cup of tea.
Bek must be the new one. I have seen him around camp before but did not bother to learn his name. He scowls at Hassen and that makes me appreciate him more. I do not have to like every person here, I remind myself. I only need one friend to please my mate.
"My mate is my heart," Bek says with a fierce frown at Hassen. "She is perfect. What does a little dirt matter?"
"A little?" Zolaya teases. "Did we see the same female?"
This time Bek glares fiercely at both of them. "Quiet, both of you."
They merely laugh off his unpleasant mood and go back to their tea. Hassen takes a big gulp of his and then looks at me. "You will have to forgive us if all we talk of is mates. We all miss ours. It is hard to be away for a long period of time. Some hunting trips last for hands and hands of days, but you know it will end soon enough. Here…" He shrugs. "We do not know how long we will be."
Zolaya looks sad. Bek looks even more irritated.
"I do not understand. Why do you have to stay if you don't want to?" I take a sip of the tea, but the flavor is bitter and unusual. My Veronica would probably like it. She likes all their teas. Their food, too. I frown to myself thinking of that. If we are not with the tribe, I cannot provide for her like they would. It's a disappointing thought.
"Mardok is convinced the females Lo-ren and Mar-ee-sol yet live. So we continue to hunt for them," Bek says, and he seems irritated by this fact. "And these two will not return, and our chief fears that they will be dangerous to themselves or to the others of the tribe." He gestures up the mountain, where Willa lets out yet another spectacularly loud cry, and all of the males wince. "They would have to leave their furs to be a danger to anyone," he says with a scowl. "Vektal worries too much."
"And then there is you and your Ron-ka," Zolaya says, holding his cup of tea in his hands and looking thoughtfully up at me. "I told my chief you were not a worry, that you merely wished time alone with Ron-ka. Still, he will be glad to see you return."
There is no reproach in Zolaya's gaze, and I wonder if he realizes how much I truly do not want to go back. Still, I find myself oddly pleased that he would speak on my behalf and defend me without knowing my true thoughts. That is…a welcome change. No one has spoken to defend me before. Curious. On a whim, I decide to open up to them, to tell them my mate's demands. "Veronica thinks I should have friends."
"Friends?" Bek echoes. "Bah."
I nod. "Exactly my thoughts." I chug the rest of the tea and set the cup down on the stones. "Where I come from, friends can cost you."
"It is a female thing," Hassen declares with a firm nod. "They want everyone to share clothes and braid manes and talk about kits all day long. They enjoy being around others. They are not like hunters, where we do not have to worry about braiding each other's manes." He reaches out and grabs Zolaya's ugly braid. "Though if you want me to braid your mane, you will have to look prettier."
Zolaya swipes his braid out of Hassen's grip and snorts. "Go on and tell your fierce Mah-dee about how it is a female thing to braid manes and talk. Females are hunters, too."
"The females of my people are the fiercest," I admit. "They fight twice as much as any male. The more bloodthirsty the female, the stronger her offspring."
"And yet you resonated to Ron-ka, a healer," Hassen comments.
"Oh, she is fierce," I tell him proudly. I like talking of my mate to the others. I want them to know how proud of her I am. "She might not fight with claws and fangs, but she is very much in control of herself and she will let me know very quickly if I displease her."
"As is my Mah-dee." Hassen beams. He gestures at Bek. "His Ell-ee is the quietest little thing, but she is strong in ways no one realizes. She was a slave for a long, long time but is still alive and whole."
I grunt. "It takes much strength to survive conditions like that." I can only imagine what a female slave went through. I think of my Veronica, sleeping peacefully in her bed, and my entire body clenches with the need to protect. "I want to make sure my mate is safe here. That no one will touch her despite her healing. It would be…very valuable to a slaver." Just the thought of such a thing makes me sick.
"No one will touch her." Bek nods firmly as if this is already decided.
"I do not know she can be a hunter, though." I think of her squeamishness with dinner. What if they do not want her in their tribe because she is not as fierce as some of the others? It will hurt her feelings, and I hate the thought. "I will hunt for her, but if she is expected to bring in food, it will not happen." I know my tone is defensive, but I don't care. If they want my Veronica to stay, it will have to be on her terms.
Zolaya looks amused. "A healer is special in a tribe. She will always be cared for. Not everyone needs to be a hunter to provide for the tribe. Maylak is a healer and her mate is a tanner. But because they help out with the tribe they are cared for. My mate does not hunt, either. She teaches the kits words and counting. Mah-dee hunts because she likes to." He gestures at Hassen, who is beaming with pride once more at the mention of his mate. "And Bek's Ell-ee is still new and yet recovering from her captivity. When she is comfortable, she will find her place. No one worries about such things."
I do. "A useless slave is a dead slave."
"You are no longer a slave," Bek says harshly. "Our tribe is a family. No one will be pushed out because they are unlikeable or do not give much back."
"If that were the case, you would have been booted a long time ago, eh, Bek?" Hassen says slyly.
"Bah," Bek says again.
I am fascinated by their joking. It reminds me of the verbal sparring I have had in the past with opponents, but these words are said with smiles and no one is offended. The idea is not to anger someone but to tease. Fascinating. "So no one will demand anything of my mate? Already she pushes herself too hard with her healing." I should not be spilling such things because they might be used against us in an arena…
But there is no more arena for me. And I must trust at some point. Veronica would want that.
"You do not look convinced," Zolaya observes.
"I am not," I admit to them. "A gladiator is alone in the world. There are no such things as friends or people to trust. It is much for me to take in. I know my Veronica wants to be surrounded by others, but I struggle with such concepts."
"Tribes are good things," Bek says, nudging at one of the rocks surrounding the fire pit. "It may not seem like it to you, but you left your mate sleeping up there, yes? Why is that? Because we are down here to protect her if she should need it. Sometimes when we hunt, we are away for long periods of time. A tribe keeps mates and kits safe." He studies the fire and then glances over at me. "My Ell-ee needs people around her. She does not like to be left alone. The only reason I can leave the village at all is because I know others will be there to make sure she is not scared. Even then, it is difficult."
I think of my Veronica. I would stay at her side every moment if I could, but I know it is not feasible. Even now, I have retreated out of the cave while she sleeps because Willa and Gren's constant mating noises get under my skin. They are right, though. I would not have left her side if I did not know the cave was completely safe because they are guarding the entrance.
"I will think on this," I tell them.
Bek reaches over and claps a hand on my shoulder. "When your mate wakes and is strong, take her to one of the nearby hunter caves. Fulfill your resonance, take some time together, and then bring her back to the tribe. I can show you where a well-stocked cave is nearby."
I nod at Bek. What he says ma
kes sense. "I would like that. She needs blankets and shelter. The last few days were difficult on her."
"Humans are fragile," he agrees, as if he knows just what I speak of. Up at the top of the cliff, a low, triumphant howl catches on the breeze and Bek grimaces. "The cave I will show you will be more private than this one, so you can mate with your female and not have to worry about everyone down on the beach hearing it."
I grunt acknowledgment. He is not wrong. For some reason, Gren and Willa's sounds carry down into the canyon and can be heard even clearer here. My Veronica would be embarrassed, and I do not want that for her. "Show me, then," I tell him. "She will be asleep for a while."
"Come," Bek says with a clap on my shoulder.
It seems I have a friend. My Veronica would be proud.
26
ASHTAR
Veronica sleeps for three more days and wakes up only long enough to eat or drink or void her bladder. Then she passes out again in a sleepy daze and I am left to fend for myself. I don't mind this too much. I want her to sleep, and I know she's overextended herself. Rest is the most important thing.
But ah, my khui has a hard time understanding that.
I go to bed each night with my mate in my arms, my body aching to claim her. My khui's resonance song grows more insistent with every day that passes, and now my cock is constantly straining and hard. My thoughts are of mating. Always. Constantly. Endlessly. I have to spend time away from Veronica's side because Willa and Gren are torturous to be around.
It does not matter that three more days have passed—they continue to attack each other with feverish need as if they have just discovered what mating is and wish to exhaust every possibility before coming up for air. I loathe hearing their bodies coming together, and Willa's cries, and Gren's feral sounds.
I hate it because I am jealous of it.
I spend time with the other hunters, learning what I can to distract myself. They are oddly sympathetic, and I wonder if their humans led them on a merry chase before succumbing to resonance. Vektal made it sound as if resonance was instant, and I am starting to learn that sometimes it is anything but. They tell me stories of one of their tribesmates, Haeden, who waited a full turn of the moon to claim his mate.