I sensed an open door. Or at the very least, I saw a closed door that I intended to casually kick open. “So, I guess when you were a dark servant, you saw a lot of different shadows?”
He shifted in his seat, but instead of dismissing me as he usually did, he simply nodded. Progress!
But now I was in unchartered territory and didn’t know how to proceed. We’d agreed to not talk about Lila, but that didn’t include his past. Okay, his past included Lila and was generally off-limits anyway, but I couldn’t help myself.
With my eyes inspecting my shoes, I attempted to keep my voice as even and casual as possible with my next question. “So, were the immoral shadows the ones you were around the most?”
He twisted his head towards me until I met his gaze. Though he stayed silent, his eyes did all the talking. They were determined, resolute, unmoving.
Two could play at that game.
Digging in my heels, I stared right back, refusing to be the one to speak first. He was the one keeping secrets, not me. Let him do the talking.
When I didn’t budge, he sighed. “You’re not going to give this up are you?”
I grinned. “Nope.”
He sighed again and settled back into his seat. “I promise, I’ll eventually talk about it. Just...not now.” Clearing his throat, he went back to people watching, ending my attempt at excavating his past, so I followed suit.
As much as I didn’t want to admit it, I understood his hesitancy. I would just have to be patient and try another time.
“Um...Iris?”
I instantly straightened at the sharp edge his tone had taken on but made no sudden moves.
“Over there. To your right.” His voice was thick with tension and barely above a whisper. “The two shadows over there. I think they’re the same ones from the movies last night.”
I twisted my head to the right as casually as I could until the two murky figures came into view and then snapped my head back. That split-second was all I’d needed for my mind to scream in haunting recognition. All my muscles tensed as if preparing for a fight.
“Relax,” Patrick spoke into my ear. “Don’t let them know they’re getting to you. They probably only care about what we do as light warriors. If they think we’re just hanging out at the mall together, maybe they’ll leave. Kiss me.”
“What?” I blurted out. Then, after glancing around and taking the noise level down a few notches, I added, “Right now?”
“Yes. Just trust me.” His lips were soft, gentle even, despite his firm grip on my neck. Kissing him while knowing we had an audience was easier than I thought.
I wasn’t sure how long was necessary for the shadows to lose interest, but eventually my modest side forced the rest of me to remember we were in a mall. I pulled away from Patrick and turned towards the crowd to see if they were gone, expecting to find some child or elderly person staring at our blatant show of affection.
“Iris?”
Not who I was expecting.
“Josh?” I swiftly sat up and pushed Patrick away without thinking. Hopefully, my face wasn’t as crimson as it felt.
My ex-boyfriend and his friend Sam had halted mid-stride in the giant walkway outside the central oasis in which Patrick and I were sitting. Their shadows hovered over them, clearly both immoral shadows related to drinking. I’d practiced recognizing them, so the sloshy internal movement was easy to decipher.
Josh was far enough away in the loud, echoing mall that in order to have a conversation he would have to come closer. To my surprise he did.
Josh and I had science together, so we occasionally talked, but Patrick was right beside me and all three of us had a not-so-great history. I mean, Josh had gotten into a fight with Patrick after Patrick had almost taken advantage of me. Of course, Patrick was being manipulated at the time, but Josh didn’t know that. Maybe Josh could tell Patrick was a completely different person now. I definitely could. And Josh had always looked up to Patrick before. But was that enough for him to bury the past?
Besides, with Patrick’s arm draped around the seat behind me, and after seeing that kiss, I was surprised Josh would be so bold as to come talk to us.
“Hey, guys,” Josh said once they’d reached us. “What are you doing here?” His eyes were lit up like it was the craziest thing to see us at the mall.
Maybe it was since we rarely ever got out and socialized anymore, but I was amazed at his friendliness.
Patrick gave him a polite nod but didn’t say anything. I couldn’t blame him—Josh was looking solely at me, so I answered. “Oh, you know. Just hanging out. You?”
“Well, Sam wanted to check out the new game that just came out, and I needed some new shoes, so…”
There was no more to say. Still, Josh’s feet stayed planted in front of us and his eyes remained locked on me. He was still smiling and as the smile lingered, his foggy leech suddenly disappeared into nothing. My mouth gaped open.
Eventually, Sam broke the spell. “Well, we’d better get going. It was good to see you.” He gave us a quick nod and then dragged his friend away. As soon as Josh’s eyes were ripped from mine, his shadow reappeared. Just before the boys retreated around a corner, though, Josh turned back and smiled one last time as his shadow flickered like an old TV. Then they were gone.
I closed my mouth and glanced up at Patrick, unsure what to say.
He simply leaned over and kissed me on my forehead. “I think you aced your test. Gregory would be proud.” He stood up and adjusted his jacket before extending his hand to help me up. “Let’s get out of here.”
How could he so easily pretend as if nothing had happened? He had to have noticed Josh’s shadow leave briefly while he was staring at me. If I had that power over his shadow, shouldn’t we try to help Josh by asking him to hang out with us or something?
Because what’s the alternative? Josh ends up somewhere infested with shadows.
But would Josh even come? More importantly, did I want him to?
Chapter 5
We managed to avoid talking about Lila over the weekend. Though my mind hadn’t been quite as lucky, the reprieve had been nice. However, once we were back at school on Monday, we couldn’t exactly avoid seeing her. A fact she chose to capitalize on for the next three days.
By Wednesday, I’d come to a realization. Lila was evil. She’d done everything humanly possible to drive me crazy and make me jealous just in a few short days. Patrick still hated her, but my goodness, she wouldn’t give up! And since I wasn’t the most confident when it came to my looks anyway (well, what girl is?), I felt like her flirting was driving a wedge in between Patrick and me.
Of course, this was exacerbated by Patrick’s avoidance of ever talking about her, which made me stew over the possibilities of their past relationship. Then there was her probable current relationship with Donovan to worry about, too.
Needless to say, as I walked to third hour on Wednesday, the thought of all three of us having to occupy the same space once again was physically and emotionally exhausting.
But I trekked down the congested hallway to the FACS) room anyway, and someone bumped into me. My binder and books plummeted to the floor, their crash echoing off the walls. I swiftly bent to pick them up ducking to prevent anyone from seeing the crimson hue of my cheeks.
When I’d secured my books, I pushed myself back up off the ground but stopped short. I rested my hand flat on the cool, dirty tiled floor. Patrick and Lila stood face to face at the far end of the hallway. Although I could’ve sworn Lila’s eyes had darted to me for a split second, neither gave any indication they’d seen me yet. Some childish instinct told me if I didn’t move, they wouldn’t notice me crouched on the floor.
They were standing a few feet from each other in the middle of the hallway, but Lila was casually closing the distance with smooth, sultry steps. Her murky companion fluttered behind her. I marveled at how anyone could make such simple movements like walking so fluid and sensual that it seemed she was try
ing to seduce every living creature in sight. And succeeding. I was surprised she’d failed so far at drawing Patrick from me to her. Patrick backed away as she approached until his back pressed against a locker. Not slowing her pace in the slightest, she sashayed right on up to him. They stood inches apart.
Patrick looked bored at first. His arms hung relaxed on either side with his hands in his pockets, facing away from her. She whispered words I couldn’t hear and reached out her hand to touch his arm. As her fingers grazed up underneath the sleeve of his T-shirt, his eyes snapped back to hers in disgust. He jerked his arm away and shoved past her into class.
Strangely, she didn’t appear hurt or frustrated. Instead, she grinned impishly and sauntered in after him, as if his blatant abhorrence of her made the conquest even more exhilarating. Maybe it even turned her on. I wouldn’t have been surprised.
I shot straight up, ignoring the stinging of my calves from having been bent down for so long. I was certain she would attempt something else if I didn’t get to class quickly to claim my seat beside my boyfriend. The look in her eyes said she was far from giving up. However, I doubted my presence would make a difference. She seemed to have no shame.
Once at the door I slowed to what I hoped was an unhurried pace and put on what I intended to be a carefree, casual expression as I strolled into class. Thankfully, Lila wasn’t in my seat next to Patrick. She was at her own desk joking with some other guys and a few popular girls, which had become her daily routine. Apparently her jokes were provocative as usual. The guys were already melting into puddles of hormonal slime as swirling shadows formed above their heads. The urge to violence sprang up inside me once more.
Throwing my folder and books on the desk, I fell in my seat and threw my face into my hands.
Patrick immediately put his hand on my back. “Don’t let her get to you.”
I scoffed and leaned back in my seat—an indication he was not to touch me anymore. “That’s easy for you to say.”
His expression hardened. “No. It’s not.”
I refused to respond but stared straight ahead at the board. I’d had enough.
The last few days had been torture. I didn’t care that Patrick said he didn’t want to be with Lila, or even that he hated her. I didn’t care that he seemed almost as annoyed as me every time Lila tried to flirt with him. I didn’t care that her very presence seemed to make Patrick want to puke or punch someone in the face or both. I could relate. But none of that mattered. If I had to see Lila flirting with anyone, much less Patrick, one more time, I was going to go insane.
I couldn’t help feeling jealous, as petty as that was. She was prettier than any other girl in school, and the fact that she had history with Patrick, even if their relationship hadn’t always been pleasant, made the jealousy worse.
Not only that, my anger and uneasiness towards her also affected my light warrior training. I’d been so distracted the last few days that the night before when I’d feigned working on homework at Kyra’s in order to hit up another bar with the crew, I’d hardly been able to hold on to a small drunken fog for ten seconds. And training practice was even more vital now because Lila was here in the first place. We didn’t know what she was planning.
I hadn’t spoken since sitting down, so Patrick parted his mouth like he was toying with the idea of saying something. I don’t know what he could’ve possibly said to make the situation any better. But Mrs. Bauder began class, so he simply crossed his arms and slouched back in his seat.
“Okay, guys. I’m going to have to ask that you keep an open mind and try your best to be mature today.”
Most of the students rolled their eyes or groaned.
Mrs. Bauder continued. “I’ll just go ahead and say it. The next couple of days we’re going to talk about human sexuality.”
Half the class cheered. The rest of us rolled our eyes and groaned again.
Amidst all the revelry and complaining, Lila’s voice carried loudly enough for most of the class to hear. “I’m pretty sure Patrick already knows enough about this subject. Maybe he could teach us.”
She smiled devilishly at Patrick from across the room as the girls giggled. To anyone else, her smile would have looked seductive and flirtatious as always. But I sensed a deeper animosity. The way her deep red lips curled up at one corner and her eyes zeroed in on her target as though he were her prey...it all screamed of vengeance.
She shifted her gaze to me with the same devilish smile. If she wanted to tick me off, it was working.
I glanced at Patrick to see his reaction. He appeared to be unmoved, but his eyes held pain. Pain meant baggage. Baggage he hadn’t shared with me.
As our teacher passed out some worksheet, Lila whipped her hair back and pushed out her chest. Her eyes raked over the same guys she’d flirted with at the beginning of class. “You know, I’m fully certified to give lessons on this stuff. If you need any tutoring, I’d be happy to oblige.” She winked at them and bit the tip of her pencil. The swirling, lustful shadows already over the boys picked up speed as the boys swallowed and gawked from her glistening hair to her expensive heels. They were probably trying to decide whether or not she was serious.
The moment the bell rang to leave for lunch, a strong desire to destroy something burned inside me. I stood up, grabbed my prism from my bag, and searched the room for one of the boys. Two of them had already left, but one remained. He bent over to put his folder in his backpack. Perfect.
I trudged down the aisle to his desk, pulled my arm back, and stabbed through the black mass all the way up to my elbow. Angling back the way I’d come, I dragged the dank fog towards Patrick. The last of its vapors wafted into oblivion.
Returning my prism to my bag, I seized Patrick’s arm. I barely gave him time to pick up his backpack before hauling him into the hallway. He stared at me with his mouth open.
I cut right to the chase. “I’m done. This whole Lila thing? I’m done with it. I’m so sick of her. And I’m sick of you putting up with her crap and expecting me to do the same.”
I paused as the root of the problem rose to the surface before I could stop it. “And I’m tired of feeling like I can’t trust my boyfriend to tell me the truth about his past.”
I drew in a quick breath. The confession had come from my own lips and I hadn’t seen it coming. I wasn’t only frustrated about Lila. I was also still frustrated that he hadn’t shared his past with me.
Patrick wrinkled his forehead. “But, Iris, I’ve already told you everything about Lila. You know we worked together under Donovan and that she’s always had a thing for me. But that’s it. I didn’t hold anything back from you.”
“Oh, really? Then what did Lila’s comment about you being an expert on sexuality mean?” I had meant to refer to his past in general, not necessarily his past with Lila. I’d believed his story of their nonphysical relationship as dark servants. However, his momentary silence after my question started to make me wonder. Could Lila’s comment possibly have something to do with her?
He moaned and chuckled sadistically. “I swear, I’m going to kill her before we even find out why she’s here.”
He hadn’t exactly answered my question. I stared at him and waited.
He sighed wearily but then parted his lips. Was he finally willing to talk? The longer I searched his eyes, though, the more alarmed and agitated he became, as though trying to prevent a security breech that seemed imminent.
He hadn’t confirmed or negated my suspicions, but the growing silence between us weighed heavily on one side of the scale. The side I most dreaded. I spun around on my heel and took off towards the cafeteria, not answering when Patrick called my name. I didn’t dare turn around. He didn’t deserve to see the tears streaming down my face.
I reached the hallway beside the cafeteria, and he hollered at me once more. “Iris, wait up!” I stopped with my back still facing him. His footsteps grew closer and closer and then ceased.
Screw my tears. I whirled around
, planting my feet firmly on the ground, and crossed my arms. Lila’s comment. It has to do with you and her, doesn’t it?”
His shoulders immediately slumped, and his eyebrows practically met in the middle. He appeared so genuinely offended, I wished I could take the question back. “What? How could you...Why would you even think that? Of course it doesn’t.”
“Sorry.” I shook my head and wiped my cheeks. “I didn’t know what to think with you being so silent back there.” I gestured to the hallway we’d just come down.
His tone softened as he stepped towards me and took my hands. “I’m sorry too. It’s just...I guess part of me is so used to avoiding anything to do with my past. Clamming up just comes naturally. Sometimes, you just want to block things out. You know?”
“Of course I know,” I muttered, not wanting to admit he was right. “I tried to block out my past for three years.”
He peered into my eyes. “Iris, I don’t think I’m ready to talk yet. But I promise I will. Do you think you could wait just a little longer? For me?” His tone was soft and pleading, almost desperate. How could I say no? The wait would kill me, but surely I could.
It took me almost a minute to force the word out of my mouth, but at last I managed. “Okay,” I whispered.
He let out a breath of relief and drew me closer to him. “Thank you, Iris. You know I care about you more than I’ve ever cared about anyone.”
I noticed he didn’t say love but decided to ignore it. After all, I hadn’t said the words yet either.
He lifted his hand to wipe away some stray tears I’d missed, and then bent down to kiss my cheek.
I was being a good girlfriend. I was respecting his privacy, and he’d tell me about his past when he was ready. But the more I thought, the more I wondered…when the time came, would I be ready to hear it?
Luminous Spirits (Shadow Eyes Series Book 2) Page 5