Chapter 17
Kyra was already in her seat when I stomped into Mr. Delaney’s classroom. “You ready for spring break?” Her bright eyes immediately darkened upon seeing me. Apparently, the fake smile I’d slapped on my face wasn’t enough to camouflage the rest of my body. I must have been fuming literal smoke from flames of wrath.
“Of course I am. A whole week? Who wouldn’t be?” I sat down and tried to act busy with my phone to prevent any potential conversation. Bad idea. Looking at my phone meant I was confronted with having to read Patrick’s latest text. Another reminder of what I’d seen the day before.
HEY SWEETIE JUST WANTED TO SAY HAVE A GOOD DAY. I GUESS I’LL SEE YOU IN CLASS SOON.
Ugh, the nerve.
He’d called four times yesterday and sent eight texts. I just couldn’t bring myself to reply.
I had considered feigning sickness to avoid seeing Patrick at school. In fact, my anxiety probably could’ve passed as a genuine stomachache. But somehow, over the course of the evening, the crushed, dejected part of me had gradually shifted to anger and bitterness. Hiding was not an option. I shouldn’t have to avoid him. He should want to avoid me because of guilt. Hopefully, seeing me will spawn enough guilt to corrode his soul.
I must have scoffed out loud because Kyra eyed me inquisitively. “What’s wrong?”
I shook my head. “Nothing. I’m fine.” The weight of my lie pressed against my chest making it hard to breath. Things were anything but fine.
Kyra opened her mouth like she wanted to ask me something, but she didn’t.
I wanted to confide in her, to talk to somebody about what I’d seen, but even though Kya was my best friend, she was also Patrick’s friend and had known him longer. For some reason, that made her seem more of a neutral party than someone solely on my side. I didn’t want to drag her into the middle of the mess, but somebody should know. I needed advice on what to do.
Still considering telling her, I turned to her and opened my mouth. But then Lexi walked in with a gray haze over her. My willingness to talk snapped back inside me like a rubber band. I retreated to my mute cave and stayed there the rest of hour.
By the end of second period, my nerves were on edge and my blood was boiling, flushing my skin. My stomach was twisted into more knots than a hangman’s noose. I was either going to faint or throw up upon entering the Family Consumer Science Room. The jury was still out.
I stood outside the door and steeled myself for the agonizing hour I was about to endure. I could do this. I was strong. I imagined a coat of armor forming around me from the floor up all the way to the top of my head. I straightened my back, lifted my head up high in the air, and inhaled deeply. “Let’s do this.”
Patrick was already seated as usual, but he wasn’t waiting on me like he normally was. Instead, his eyes were focused on another girl. Lila stared back at him with a seductive and playful, half-open smile. Since Lila usually scowled at Patrick lately, her smile had to have been encouraged.
As Patrick’s head slowly turned towards the door and into my view, I barely caught the partial smile already on his face. I was right. Lila’s smile had been encouraged. Patrick grinned upon seeing me as if everything was completely fine.
I had thought I was going to have a hard time not crying in front of him. But I was beginning to think it would take more effort to avoid punching him in the throat. I pressed my lips tightly together to keep any inappropriate words or screams from escaping and stomped to my seat.
His joy quickly switched to a look of concern. “I tried calling and texting you a lot yesterday. What happened?”
I shrugged without meeting his eyes. I’d rehearsed my reply all morning. “I forgot to charge my phone. When I remembered to look at it, it was pretty late.” The weight of this lie pressed heavy against my chest too, and I felt my aura deep within me fade ever so slightly. But instead of making me feel bad, this unplanned result of my lying simply made me hate Patrick even more for making me lie in the first place.
“Oh.” He hesitated. “So is everything okay?”
“Yup.” I sank back in my chair and folded my arms. Luckily, the bell rang and our teacher saved me from having to talk the rest of the hour. I would eventually have to confront him about what I’d seen, but now wasn’t the time. Not during class. And not until I’d gotten myself under control enough to not cry when I told him what I’d seen. I was not going to be weak in front of him.
By the time class was over, I’d gotten myself so worked up and anxious about having to say something to Patrick that I’d planned on jetting out of the room to avoid talking to him altogether. But as I was about to stand up, his hand grabbed my arm. I flung my head back to him, fighting the instinct to slap his face, and saw what I’d never expected to see. A prism flying over my head.
“Iris, what the heck?” Patrick looked dumbfounded.
I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised at having an emotional shadow over me, but the thought made me shiver. I would have to keep my emotions in check. Which was nearly impossible around Patrick since he was the one who created the crazy emotions in the first place. Luckily, he couldn’t quite decipher what emotions the shadows actually represented.
I pretended to look more surprised than I was. “Wow. I guess I’ve let my emotions get out of hand with my family and Lexi and Nicole… I’m fine. I’ll just have to stop worrying about everything.”
“Iris, I—”
“I’ll see you at lunch,” I said, cutting him off, and headed out the door. Honestly, I had no intentions of sitting with him at lunch, but I figured the lie would appease him for a few minutes. At least until he stopped drooling over Lila and figured out the seat beside him at the lunch table remained empty.
After paying for my chicken sandwich, I surveyed the lunchroom and bit my lip in indecision. I glanced out the glass doors that led to the outdoor eating area. It was dreary outside with a heavy mist. Well, that was out of the question.
That’s when Josh spotted me and waved with more enthusiasm than I would’ve expected considering last Saturday’s awkward lunch date. Nicole, Tyler, and Sam were already sitting with him. I waved back and smiled, and a hopeful grin spread on Josh’s face. He motioned to the empty seat next to him and raised his eyebrows as an invitation.
The thought of Patrick seeing me sitting beside Josh sent a zing of excitement up my spine. Vengeful adrenaline propelled me towards Josh’s table. Sitting with my old friends again would be fun anyway. And hadn’t I mentioned Nicole to Patrick in my list of things that were bothering me? He would probably leave me alone to be with my old friend.
Halfway there, though, I faltered. The last time I’d sat with Josh was also to avoid Patrick. It wasn’t fair for me to use Josh when I wanted to be away from Patrick or make him mad. But this was different, wasn’t it? Patrick had truly hurt me and needed to be punished. Besides, where else was I going to go?
“Hi guys.” I smiled cautiously at everyone. All but Josh stared blankly with their mouths open. “Do you mind if I sit here?”
It had only been a few weeks since I’d randomly sat there the last time, but they obviously weren’t expecting a repeat. Nicole was the first to speak up. “Sure, go ahead. Long time, no see. How’ve you been?”
“Pretty good. Thanks.” I flashed her a quick smile and sat down beside Josh. When I finally allowed myself to look at him, I discovered two things. One, he was still staring at me. Two, his expression was the most adorable combination of tenderness, longing, and nervousness. He seemed so happy I’d chosen to sit with him that I almost left. I’d told myself I wasn’t going to lead him on. But his endearing smile that remained plastered on his face grabbed me and tethered me to my seat beside him.
I would just have to ignore him. I turned to Nicole. “So what’ve you guys been up to?” That was a loaded question. I kicked myself for asking.
Tyler must’ve assumed we were about to launch into girl talk because he started his own conversation with Sam
and Josh. “Hey, did you hear about Mike’s party tonight?”
“Yeah, man,” Sam said. “I already told my mom I was staying the night with you. Hope that was okay.”
Tyler laughed. “Yup. Because I did the same thing.”
Nicole smiled to hide her discomfort. She picked at her pizza as she answered me. “Oh, same old, same old.”
I had a hard time finding things to talk about that didn’t involve my shadow-slaying exploits or her partying, but what was harder for me was keeping the emotional fog away. I kept trying to swat at the stubborn shadow, but that was unsuccessful without a prism (which I couldn’t use in front of my friends) and without my aura (which I couldn’t manage to turn on). All I could do was focus on Nicole and not Patrick and will the parasite away. And as much as I wanted to, I couldn’t peek over at Patrick across the cafeteria. Seeing him all confused and worried only reminded me of the shadow and why it was there. He’d shattered my heart into a million pieces.
When lunch ended, I said goodbye and trekked out of the lunchroom by myself. I’d hoped to dodge Patrick completely, but he hollered my name before I could escape out the door. I stopped and slowly turned around as he jogged up to me. “Hey,” he said. “Why didn’t you sit with us at lunch? We missed you.” He sounded truly hurt.
I could’ve blurted everything out right there and gotten it over with, but I had six minutes to go to my locker and get to class. Our confrontation would have to wait. There was no way I was going to open that discussion without having time to finish it. Besides, I wasn’t so sure I had my emotions in check yet. Enough to keep the shadow at bay for now in front of him, but not if I started talking.
I shook my head to clear my thoughts. “Yeah, sorry I didn’t tell you. I thought I would try to sit with Nicole and maybe start fixing our relationship.” I wasn’t being entirely untruthful.
“Right. I kind of figured with what you mentioned earlier.” His eyes moved to right above my head so I looked too, but there was nothing there. Yet. “I was just worried about you since that shadow kept coming back. I wanted to come over but I didn’t want to mess up what you were doing with Nicole.” He looked so genuinely concerned. How on earth could he forge such an authentic-looking mask? “You really had me worried.”
Good! “I’m sorry. I think I’m better now.”
“Okay.” He paused like he wasn’t sure he believed me but didn’t push the issue. “One more thing...” Glancing down at the floor, he furrowed his eyebrows as if he were frustrated but trying to hide it. “Be careful around Josh, will you? I saw the way he was looking at you the whole time. I can tell he still likes you.”
Really, Captain Obvious? You think? Maybe you should be careful around Lila who would probably strip down buck naked if she thought doing so would win you over. “I will. Don’t worry.”
The memory of my secret lunch date with Josh sprang into my mind and my stomach lurched. I wasn’t being careful, and Patrick should be worried. But then I remembered what Patrick had done behind my back, and I mentally smacked myself for feeling the least bit guilty.
He reached out to gather me into his arms like he had a thousand times before. I didn’t want him to start asking questions about why I was being standoffish, so I gave him a quick hug in return. But then he twisted his head in for a kiss. My skin instantly flushed with rage, deceit, angst, and pain. I could only handle so much before that stupid shadow came back. I broke away from him abruptly, as though I didn’t realize he wanted a kiss, and yelled, “Bye,” behind me as I walked off.
* * * *
I stared at the mirror in my bedroom and shook my head. My mascara had run and my eyeliner was smudged. Amidst the black shades, my violet eyes seemed to be drowning. I’d been able to hold in the tears until I’d gotten home from school. But once I’d stumbled into my room and slammed the door, the floodgates had opened. Patrick and I had to talk. I couldn’t go on like this. Still, the thought of confronting him made my stomach churn.
My phone buzzed loudly on the wooden dresser. Kyra had texted me.
GREGORY SAYS THERE’S SOME GUY WITH A VENGEFUL SHADOW WHO’S SUPPOSED TO BE HITTING THE BAR ON BIRCH STREET TONIGHT AROUND 8:30. HE’S PROBABLY PLANNING ON GOING AFTER HIS EX’S NEW BOYFRIEND. GREGORY SAYS HE HAS A HISTORY OF PRETTY INTENSE VIOLENCE. DO YOU WANT US TO PICK YOU UP OR DO YOU WANT TO MEET US THERE?
My jaw clenched. I knew how the guy felt. However, his way of coping wasn’t an option for me. I sighed heavily, considering the possibility of going on a shadow hunt as if everything was normal. I could talk to Patrick afterwards. But then Patrick texted me.
HEY, WE’RE GOING TO THE BAR ON BIRCH STREET FOR A SHADOW HUNT. WANT ME TO COME PICK YOU UP AROUND 7:30 or 8?
The anxiety I already felt instantly quadrupled. There was no way I could be in a car alone with Patrick. The thought made me sick to my stomach, and my palms began to sweat. I doubted going by myself and being aloof with him would fly either. On the flipside I couldn’t talk to him beforehand. That could jeopardize their raid.
I hadn’t answered either of them, but my phone buzzed again. Kyra.
WOULD BE NICE TO HAVE YOUR EARS THERE TO KNOW FOR SURE WHAT HE’S PLANNING. YOU’VE BEEN GETTING SO GOOD AT THAT.
I still didn’t want to go, but now I felt guilty. After a minute of going back and forth, I finally came up with a plan C. I would go check on them to see if they really needed me. If they didn’t, I would leave. I texted them both the same short, vague reply:
I’LL TRY TO MEET YOU GUYS THERE.
I didn’t want to have to talk to my sister or mother for long and fake I was okay, so I decided to leave way earlier than necessary. I gave my mom just enough time to fill me in on how nice this random guy was that she’d met the night before. When she told me they were set to have a date that night, I did a decent job acting surprised. Feigning enthusiasm proved to be more difficult, but she was too preoccupied to notice.
I got gas and took my sweet time picking out a drink and some candy. I still had to drive around for a while before heading to the bar, and I about went crazy. But my endurance paid off. When I pulled into the parking lot, I spotted Gregory’s and Patrick’s vacant cars. They were already inside.
As I sat in my car, gripping the steering wheel for another minute, I stared into space and breathed in and out to try to psych myself up for a potential encounter with Patrick. Not that I intended to go in or see him at all, but anything was possible.
Finally, I stepped out of the car, locked the doors, and shoved the keys into my purse. As I crept through the parking lot to the nearest window, the rock music grew louder and my tension grew higher.
I peeked inside. Various bar-goers of all shapes and sizes and shades of intoxication crowded the main area. Gregory, Patrick, and Kyra would have no problems dispatching shadows in a mob like that and going unnoticed, especially since the lighting was muted.
I spotted the three of them standing against a wall, trying to blend in. Patrick kept glancing at the door. He must have been waiting for me to show up. For some reason, that infuriated me. How could he go on as though nothing had happened, waiting like some perfect gentleman for me to arrive?
Then a fleeting thought cooled my anger for a brief moment. I should be in there with them. I belonged with them. And I needed to be training so I could be ready for Lucas and Donovan. Although, since Donovan was really just out for Patrick, that particular fight wasn’t as strong of a motivator.
Stupid Lila. Her trying to get Patrick back had the bonus effect of distracting me from my training. Good for her. Still, even knowing that she was distracting me wasn’t enough to make me go in the bar and join them. To be honest, I was tired of training. Why couldn’t I just be normal?
I forced myself to ignore my feelings for just a few more minutes and focus on where they were all looking. I would do what I said I’d do and then leave.
Our mark was easy to spot. The black, fitful shadow over him that squirmed and fought within itself stood ou
t amongst the rest of the slowly wavering forms. The dark figure was intimidating and dangerous but nothing they couldn’t handle. Besides, it was temporary and not firmly rooted.
To be sure, though, I listened in to the guy’s inky friend for a few seconds since that’s what they’d wanted me to do.
“Wait until he leaves,” the voice hissed. “Go after him when he’s so drunk he won’t put up a fight. He deserves this. He took your girl.”
I turned away, setting up a block in my mind to break the connection. They’d be fine. Whatever they chose to do, Gregory was smart enough to know how to prevent anything horrible from happening.
I relaxed some on my way to my car. No confrontation with Patrick tonight. But then a new thought hit me and I stopped. What exactly was I going to do tonight, and why hadn’t I thought of that before?
Almost immediately my thoughts shifted to Lexi. Aside from the previous Saturday, we hadn’t been able to spend as much time together as I would have liked. I sent her a text to see what she was doing and then started the trek back to my car to wait.
I’d barely moved three steps when a noise came from the front of the building. A door whooshed open, letting loud bar music escape for a moment before the door whooshed back and stifling the music again. My feet ground to a halt and my pulse quickened. My exhaled breath crystalized in front of me. I pivoted slowly to the entrance to see who had stepped out of the bar, hoping it wasn’t Patrick. Four figures stumbled down the steps and into the parking lot. Just some random shadowy people.
I sighed in relief. I had better get out of there anyway. Patrick and the rest of them could come outside at any moment.
Still... The sounds of drunken laughter and the jingling of keys drifting from the group put me ill at ease. I clenched my fists and gritted my teeth. I was still a light warrior after all.
I pulled up a game on my phone and peeked around my shoulder at the group coming towards me. Surprisingly, there was one woman in the bunch free of any drunken shadows. But she wasn’t the one holding the keys. From what I could gather, the man who held them and had difficulty keeping a steady gait, was her boyfriend. There was another couple with them as well.
Luminous Spirits (Shadow Eyes Series Book 2) Page 16