by Allie Gail
“No!” Frowning, Skylar shakes her head. “No. I don't need to go to the hospital. I'm fine. I mean, I feel perfectly fine. Just...”
“She can't seem to remember anything,” Russ informs me. “Neither can Owen.”
My mouth forms a silent o.
“The last thing I remember was walking out to the parking lot,” she murmurs. Her eyes are focused blankly on the coffee table in front of us so I'm not sure which of us she's talking to. “Next thing I know, I'm waking up by the side of the road. And the sun was coming up. It was so pretty, the sunrise. I thought...I assumed I must've wandered off and passed out or something, 'cause I'd had a lot to drink, you know? But the date, that's what doesn't make sense. I wake up and it's twelve days later. Twelve days. Almost two weeks are missing from my life...how does that even happen?”
“Babe. It's okay.” My brother wraps an arm around her, and she rests her head against his shoulder. “Don't even worry about it right now. We'll figure it out later, once you've had some rest. I promise you, it's okay.”
“Heads up.” Emerging from the kitchen, Max tosses a can of beer to Russ, who catches it with his one good hand. “Hey, I'm gonna drive Owen back to his place. Be back in a little while, okay?”
“Sure, man.”
“Wanna come along?” He looks at me questioningly.
“Oh. Um...sure.” Max has never asked me to go anywhere with him before. But I figure Russ might want to be alone with Skylar right now, and maybe he's picking up on that as well.
I slide into Max's truck, sitting in between the boys. We travel for probably ten miles before anyone speaks. No one seems to know what to say.
Max is the first to break the silence. “You really don't remember anything?”
Owen continues to gaze out the windshield. “Not a damn thing, man. It's like...shit, I dunno, like I've been in a coma or something. But I don't think I was unconscious, you know? I get this weird feeling, like I was awake the whole time but everything's just been erased. Wiped clean.”
“I still think we should get you checked out at the hospital. Or we could stop by the clinic. Why don't we-”
“No!” Owen's refusal is firm, almost identical to Skylar's, and I can't help but find it odd that both of them are so adamant about not seeking medical attention. “No hospital. Fuck that. Anyway, you know me – I hate doctors.”
“Well, how about breakfast? We could stop at the Waffle House, get something to eat.”
“Not hungry.”
“You really should eat something.”
“What for? Do I look like I've missed a meal? Obviously I've been eating.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Max gives him a skeptical look.
Owen raises both hands as if to fend off his scrutiny. “Dude, I'm fine, I swear. Just wanna get home, that's all. Take a shower, catch some Z's. Maybe take two showers. I ain't never felt so funky in all my life.”
“You do smell kinda ripe,” I offer, in an effort to lighten the mood.
“Thanks, brat.” He turns his head to smile at me, and I feel a little better. Owen is always laughing, always the first to kid around. He's the apple-cheeked guy that lives for a good practical joke. And to me, he doesn't look like himself when he isn't smiling.
“See, you couldn't have been unconscious,” I point out. “How would you have been able to eat? Or go to the bathroom?”
This elicits a chuckle from both passengers.
“Leave it to Russ's sister to bring poop into this,” Owen comments. “You two are definitely related. What're you doin' here, anyway? I thought you were off in Tulsa.”
“Lost my job.” I shrug indifferently.
“Shit. Pretty sure I'm not gonna have a job to go back to, either,” he sighs. “Fuck my life. Lost my phone, too. Either that or somebody stole it. Like to get my hands on who did – I paid a chunk of change for it. Funny thing is, they didn't take my keys or wallet. Guess I should be thankful for small favors.”
“Maybe you could say you've been really sick,” I suggest, still contemplating the whole employment situation. “It is flu season.” Although I know it's a lame excuse, considering he never called in or anything. Surely they'd want a doctor's note. Besides, didn't they get an email with his resignation? That could be a hard one to explain.
“Yeah, we'll see. Maybe I can come up with a good whopper.” A hint of the familiar twinkle returns to his tired brown eyes. “Could always say I was abducted by aliens, right?”
“Not sure I'd go that route,” I cheerfully advise. “Remember that year you wore a straitjacket for Halloween? They might put you back in it for good.”
“I missed Halloween,” he mutters, sounding disappointed. Then, after a brief pause, he jokingly asks, “You guys believe in aliens?”
Except I'm not so sure he's joking.
“Why?” Max stares straight ahead at the road. He looks tense, and there could be a dozen reasons why, but I don't know which one to suspect.
“Well...it would kinda explain things, wouldn't it? I mean, I know how it sounds. I do. But think about it. Stop for a second and really think about it. Thousands of people swear up and down they've had similar experiences. Now, that's a lot. You ever stop to think, maybe there's somethin' to it? Like, maybe they're not all crazy. Maybe not all of them are nut jobs lookin' for five minutes of fame.”
“I don't know, man,” Max concedes mildly. “Maybe.”
I shoot him a sidelong look. Why, I wonder, is he encouraging this delusion? I can't believe no one has mentioned the elephant in the room. Price. It's like no one wants to state the obvious. I would think bringing him up would be the first step to jump-starting the memories of that night. The rest, surely, would follow.
“You remember being at the bar, right?” I prompt helpfully. He seems more receptive to conversation than Skylar, so I figure why not give it a shot.
“Yeah. Actually, that's pretty much the last thing I remember.”
“What about what happened after you and Skylar walked out to the parking lot?”
Glancing over, Max gives me an almost imperceptible shake of his head.
Owen doesn't appear to notice. “That whole night is kind of a blur. I remember we were drinking a lot. Having a good time, at first. Then Russ got all pissed off 'cause somehow he got the idea there was somethin' going on between me and Sky. Not sure what that was all about. He knows I'd never hit on his girl. I mean, she's hot and all, but she ain't exactly my type, know what I mean?”
Do you remember kissing her? I very much want to ask, but Max doesn't seem to approve of my prying. Well, maybe he's right. Maybe it is too soon.
“I do know he was hollerin' at us,” Owen continues, gazing off into space with a pensive expression. “And we went outside – can't really remember why. That's...I don't know, that's about it. That's where everything just kinda fades to black. With me and her walking out to the car.”
“I'm sure it'll come back to you eventually.” Flicking on the turn signal, Max pulls into the apartment complex. “Right now, the important thing is to make sure you're okay. Look, why don't you grab some clothes and come back and stay at my place for a while? Or Russell's. At least for tonight. I don't know if you should be left alone.”
“I know this sounds weird, man...” Owen rests his fingers on the door handle, and I get the impression that he's antsy to leave. “...but right now, all I want is to be alone. I just want some peace and quiet. Don't know why, but I feel like I've had voices screaming at me nonstop. My head is tired. I know that sounds fucked up, but that's the way it seems. I can't really deal with anyone right now. No offense.”
Max is unconvinced. “Are you sure you're all right?”
“Hand to God, I'm fine. Just need a shower and a nice long sleep.”
“You'll call if you need anything? Oh, wait...shit. You don't have a phone.”
“Here.” Digging through my purse, I pull out my phone and offer it up. “Why don't you borrow mine? I don't need it right now.
You can give it back tomorrow. Or whenever.”
“Nah, it's okay.”
“Take it,” I insist. “It'll make me feel better about you being here all alone.”
“I've lived here all alone for how many years, and now you're worried about me?” He accepts the phone with a wry grin. “Thanks.”
“No problem. Just don't text people pretending to be me. Revenge will be swift and merciless.”
“Hey, no promises.” Opening the truck door, he steps out and then leans back in to say, “Appreciate the ride, man.”
“Call if you need us,” Max repeats.
“Will do. Take it easy, squirt.” He turns to walk away.
“Later,” I call with a wave. As soon as we're back on the road, I waste no time in confronting Max. “Seriously? You're not going to tell him?”
His fingers tighten around the steering wheel. “Not if I can help it.”
“Why not?”
“What's the point? Can you see any benefit to putting all that on him? It's a lot to take in. Maybe too much. He's probably better off not remembering. At least for now.”
“If it was you, wouldn't you want to know the truth? Rather than live in the dark?”
“Jude, trust me. Whatever he went through, if it's even a fraction of what I felt for just that second Price touched me...” Visibly suppressing a shudder, he reaches for the heater and turns it up to high. “It'll be easier for him this way. Some things are better off buried and forgotten.”
“Oh, so that's the plan now? Just pretend none of this ever happened?”
“Do you think I'd be able to forget, even if I wanted to?” He huffs a cynical laugh. “I don't think I'll ever look at the world the same way again. Knowing there are things like that out there...who knows how long it'll be before I can sleep without one eye open. Why would I want that for them? If they can forget, then more power to them. If you ask me, ignorance is bliss.”
I have to ponder his logic about ignorance being bliss. And I hate to admit it, but he might be right. What other explanation could there be for me covering up all that I've been hiding recently? For not wanting to come clean with it, even now?
“Sorry,” I apologize sheepishly. “I didn't mean to come off as confrontational. I know it's probably been a stressful morning for you.”
“That's an understatement,” he murmurs. “And by the way, I seem to remember asking you to go into town for a couple of hours. What happened with that?”
“I wanted to fix the window,” I explain. “I buried the bird, too. It didn't seem right to throw him in the trash.”
“Yeah, well...just so you know, I nearly had a stroke when we drove up and your car was still there.”
I raise an eyebrow, surprised. “Really? Why?”
“I was afraid maybe Price came back.”
“Why would he come back?”
“I don't know. This whole thing, it just...I can't make heads or tails of it. When we left this morning, I'd pretty much convinced myself the whole thing was a setup. That, I was ready for. But when we got there, only to find the two of them all alone...well, I was relieved, of course. But then it struck me that maybe it was meant as a diversion.” Inhaling a deep breath, he lets it out slowly. “I was just worried about you, is all.”
Wow. He was worried about me.
I send him a surreptitious glance while he's busy navigating through an intersection. Even with concern etched into his brow, he's still amazingly handsome. But then, I've always thought he was the ideal male. When I was little and played Barbie and Ken Get Married, I used to secretly fantasize that I was Barbie and Max was Ken. When I got older, I fantasized about him in a whole different manner.
If he only knew how many orgasms he unwittingly supplied.
“Him taking off, I understand,” he speculates. “What I don't get is, why release the only leverage he had?”
“Maybe he was afraid.” Way to go, Judith. How long are you going to keep lying to everyone? “He told you how to kill him, remember?” Yeah, right.
“True. Still, I can't...I don't know. It all just seems a little too easy.”
I guess from his end, it would seem that way. On my end, it appears that everything is going exactly as planned. Which is a major relief, but also a little bit terrifying.
When will he come to collect?
Shaking off the errant thought, I start babbling just to distract myself. “Did you get the feeling someone programmed Owen and Sky with what they're supposed to say? Seems weird they wouldn't want to see a doctor. Don't you think? I know if I had a blackout like that, I'd go straight to the emergency room.”
“Wouldn't surprise me.”
“But that kind of proves my point, doesn't it? That he's running scared. Otherwise, why would he bother?”
“Who knows why he does anything he does.”
“Because he thrives on chaos,” I remind him.
“Which is precisely why this is a little too inside-the-lines perfect. It's not his style.”
“I still say he's afraid,” I persist stubbornly. He isn't, of course; Loc has no reason to be afraid. But I don't want Max stressing over what might happen when I've already secured his safety.
“Jude...” He glances over at me, his soft gray eyes troubled. “I want you to go back to Tulsa. Away from all this.”
My heart sinks. He's still trying to get rid of me?
“And yet...there's this selfish part of me that also wants you to stay.”
Oh.
A thrill rushes through me, causing my pulse to beat just a little bit faster. For a moment, I have no idea what to say. My head is spinning in a hundred different directions. In spite of what he just said, I still have a hard time believing I'm interpreting him correctly. What it sounds like is that he might be interested in me. But I'm afraid to even think it, because what if I'm wrong?
“Why is that?” I finally ask, when I'm sure I can speak without stuttering.
He shrugs, and I get the impression that he's finding this just as awkward as I am. “I just thought...it might be nice to get to know you a little better. Spend some time hanging out together.” Making a face, he looks over at me. “Is that weird?”
“No. It's not weird.” I try to hold back a euphoric smile. Is he kidding? I'd love nothing more than to get to know him better. I spent so much time building him up in my mind, but in reality how much do I really know about him? Aside from the obvious fact that he is gorgeous. And nice. And clearly a very loyal friend.
“I know, the timing is all off.”
My urge to smile fades. You have no idea.
“It feels wrong to even bring it up, considering everything that's been going on.”
“No, it's...it's fine.”
“Maybe when this all blows over, we could go out sometime.”
“Sure. I'd like that.” The question is, will there be anything left standing once it finally does blow over? If Russ and Max ever find out...
I recall the rage in my overprotective brother's eyes when Loc referenced my cherry.
He would lose his shit if he knew that's exactly what I promised.
“Max...” It's on the tip of my tongue to tell him what I've done. To spill it all, confess that I'm the reason Loc is gone. That they're all safe now, and there is no need to live in fear of reprisal.
But how can I? How can I tell him I practically sold myself like a clearance item? What would he think of me?
And then this crazy, errant thought crosses my mind. What if...
What if I were to give up my virginity to Max? Soon. Right away. Just seduce him right here in the car. Before Loc has a chance to claim his payoff.
What would happen?
“Shit!” Suddenly slamming on the brakes, Max automatically throws an arm across me, as if it'll do any good. Thankfully I'm wearing my seat belt so I don't go flying forward.
Clutching the dashboard, I watch as the biggest dog I've ever seen lopes its way across the road, turning his huge head to ey
e us with disinterest. He isn't the least bit rattled that he almost got turned into roadkill. As a matter of fact, he seems annoyed at the car for infringing on what he perceives to be his territory.
I stare after him in amazement as he disappears into the woods. “What is that, a Rottweiler?” His sleek black head is easily the size of a bear's.
“Looks like it.” Max curses under his breath before accelerating. “Somebody should fence in their yard, if their dog doesn't have any better sense than to walk out in the middle of the road.”
“You could saddle that thing up and ride it like a horse,” I comment.
“Yeah, he was a big fella, wasn't he?”
I wet my lips nervously. Call me superstitious, but this is just strange. Is it a coincidence that the dog from The Omen just made an appearance at this particular moment? Right when I was considering the ramifications of breaking my Faustian agreement?
It was a foolish notion, anyway. Because I already know what the ramifications would be.
If I don't live up to my end of the bargain, then he surely won't live up to his.
For the sake of everyone I care about, I have no choice but to follow through. Not only that, but keep it to myself. It's the only way. This is one secret I'll box up and take to my grave.
No one needs to know, I decide.
No one ever needs to know.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Chapter Sixteen
Max insists on stopping off for breakfast on the way back. I don't object, even if I'm too tied up in knots to be very hungry.
Anyway, it doesn't matter that I'm not interested in eating. I'm not about to pass up the chance to spend a few stolen moments with my childhood crush.
I pick at my omelet while watching him pack away two days worth of calories. He's a lot like my brother in that he can put away a metric ton of food in one sitting. There isn't an ounce of fat on him so I have no idea where it goes. Gabby would say he has a hollow leg. All I can say is, if I wolfed down two eggs with a side of ham, grits, buttered toast, a pecan waffle and a double order of hash browns, I'd look like that blueberry girl from Willy Wonka.