by Quil Carter
Until him at least…
Dinner came and we decided to take a break. Ryan was enchanted at the fact that sengils were dropping us off our dinner, and even proved how comfortable he was by making fun of the fact that I’d never cooked anything in my life.
“Can you even boil water?” Ryan asked. We were sitting at the dinner table with arian wellington and caesar salad in front of us. He was looking down at his plate like I’d served him a stack of money, it was cute how large his eyes were. “This isn’t rat either… Who did you guys kill to make this meat? You probably grow organic arian somehow…” He looked at me suspiciously.
I played off of this and glanced innocently up to the ceiling. “Better not make me mad, Ryan. Or else you might be the next arian wellington the royal family eats.” My chest filled when he laughed. “They’re convicts actually; Skylander elite convicts which is why they taste so good. We serve convicts in line for Stadium only fruits and vegetables to make their meat taste better. Most of them don’t even know what we’re doing. Silas has told me with a chuckle that a lot of them are surprised and gracious over the food they’re being served before their eventual deaths. Can you imagine? Thanking us and thinking we’re showing compassion, when really.” I held up the piece of pink medium rare meat and admired it in the lights above us. “We’re plumping them up for slaughter.” I put the piece into my mouth, and acting on my own internal dare, I winked at him.
Wait. Was this technically my first date? Was this a date? No, Elish, don’t be stupid. God dammit he’s a school teacher!
I didn’t care. I was a prince and whatever I wanted, I got.
And I think I wanted Ryan.
“You can definitely taste the difference,” Ryan said. “I think the place I buy my meat from just kidnaps greywasters. It tastes stringy enough. If you want to get some decent meat you need to pay a premium and us lowly school teachers can’t afford it.”
I looked up from my food, confused by this. “Silas pays the teachers quite well, doesn’t he? Where does all the money go then?”
Ryan swallowed the rest of his food. I also liked that he didn’t talk with his mouth full. My siblings and I were well-trained with this. Silas had taught as all impeccable table manners and I prided myself in eating politely and quietly. However, when Silas was gone we usually just ate in front of the television and all manners went out the window. We were teenagers.
“I have family in the greywastes I’m trying to get into Skyfall,” Ryan explained. “You know how expensive it is to sponsor a greywaster. I have four brothers and a sister wanting to come in, and all of them but one is married and two of those have three children each.”
“You weren’t born here in Skyfall?” I asked curious.
“No, I was, but I was adopted by my aunt and her wife,” Ryan explained. “I always knew about my family in Charlotte, a sea-side town about a hundred miles away from here, and I visited them growing up. I was a sick child and they were worried I wouldn’t be able to survive in the greywastes. My parents both died about four years ago, leaving my family scraping by… family is important to me and I’d like them all here.”
I almost blurted out that I’d get his family here, but I pressed my lips together before the words could tumble forth. I didn’t even know how to start that process, it’s something I’d have to ask Silas and… and that just wasn’t really do-able right now.
We finished dinner with some more light conversation, then we retired to the living room with two cups of tea. All of our work was set out in front of us still, but instead of going back to our classes, which we probably should’ve done, we continued talking.
The longer I talked to him and the more I listened, the more I wanted to be special to him. I didn’t want to be just another student in his class, or even the prince he saw on TV or read about in the newspaper. I don’t know I just… something inside of me was urging me to forge that bond. Though I didn’t really know how.
I could enslave him right now, make him my cicaro. Then he’d be all mine.
One day, Elish, one day when you’re king. Until then, you have to find companionship in the more traditional sense.
“So I’ve told you a lot about me… am I allowed to ask about you? Or is that an executable offence?” Ryan asked, his tea halfway up to his mouth.
I laughed lightly. I was half-sitting, half-lying on the couch, with one leg on the cushion and the other resting on the floor. “You can ask. If you touch upon something I don’t wish to talk about I can just tell you to be quiet. Being a prince has many many perks.”
“I could see that the moment a hundred thousand dollar black BMW pulled up to my shitty shack that hugs the borders of Moros,” Ryan said with a snort. “What is it like to be Elish Dekker? It must be a glamorous life. Not to mention entertaining considering your siblings are quite a wild bunch. You are so calm though, there’s something about you that is so… mature, so put together and dignified. Things that a thirteen-year-old shouldn’t be.”
I swelled with pride. It took everything not to smile. “Thank you,” I said, and was horrified to hear shyness weave around my usually confident tones. “I’m the heir of Skyfall; I have a lot of expectations I need to live up to and appearances I must keep.”
The corner of Ryan’s mouth rose as I said this. “So I’m talking to the heir of Skyfall and not Elish? I want to know who Elish is.”
I waved him off and shook my head. “I’m not that complex. Being raised this way just makes me who I am. I’m an intelligence chimera anyway, it’s not in my genes to be immature like my brothers and sister.”
“Oh, now you’re just getting on an ego trip.”
My mouth fell open. “I am not!” I said, aghast. When Ryan snickered at my reaction I reached over and pushed his arm. “I’m terribly sorry if I’m a marvel in genetic engineering. I wasn’t asked to be born superior.” I grinned when Ryan groaned and threw a hand over his face. “Not just superior to the normal arian, but superior to my siblings as well.”
“Oh, Elish, you’re so modest.”
“If you ever have something to brag about, I’m sure you’ll be doing the same.”
Ryan looked around the apartment. “I’m in the king’s personal apartment with his most genetically engineered marvel of an heir. That’s worth bragging about, is it not?” Then he nudged me with his hand. “I’ll make you talk about yourself then. What’s your favourite colour?”
Oh, that was easy. “Purple,” I said.
Ryan’s blue eyes rose to mine, and I knew he was looking at my eye colour. “Like your eyes? You literally have the most unique eyes in all of the world. Nero and Ellis have that purple-blue going on. But you?” I thought my heart was going to explode when he brushed back the blond bangs from my eyes. “There. I can see them more clearly now. Don’t get me started on how jealous I am of your hair. I’ve never seen hair that shines like yours. You’re like a little sun.”
Wow. Oh, wow. I could still feel the warmth of his fingers brush up against my face. That was… that was incredible.
My face hurt from me smiling so much. I don’t think I’ve ever smiled like this before. “That’s genetic engineering for you,” I said shyly, breaking our eye contact. I brushed back the rest of my bangs from my eyes. Damn, was my heart ever pounding. I wanted to spend every waking minute with this guy. I wanted to listen to him, get to know him…
I had no control over these feelings, something that usually terrified me. But right now, not knowing what my heart, or my body was going to do next, was exhilarating. I was challenging myself, exactly what this experience was supposed to do.
And I knew another way I could challenge myself too.
But was I that brave? Did I really want to take that huge step? There were so many risks involved, so much that could go wrong. It could ruin everything, but yet, I was so eager to roll the dice I was grasping it with both hands.
No, I was a prince. I had nothing to lose.
And riding on that,
I did something purely driven by instinct.
Well, instinct and hormones.
And what did I do? You already know what I did.
I grabbed Ryan, Professor Britain, and I kissed him.
Ryan recoiled away from shock. He stared at me for a second, his blue eyes so wide and large they were staring at me like I’d transformed into a monster.
Then he grasped my shoulder, pulled me closer, and kissed me himself.
͠
Yes, that was my first kiss.
And no, I’ve never told a single soul until now. Save your comments, I’m just as weirded out having to write this.
But since this is the first of many swords I will fall on, I’ll impale myself fully. So what can I say about my first kiss? It’s difficult to wade through the regret that would haunt me seventy-nine years later. I would say it was exhilarating at the time, it made my body heat up as if his lips themselves were a power outlet. The chemistry I’d experienced previously was nothing compared to what I felt from this physical contact, and I immediately found myself addicted.
I wanted more. There was something overpowering about that feeling, that drive to go further. It was another emotion that I couldn’t control; I was helpless in its grasp but a willing victim to whatever active sensations it was going to fill me with.
And was it ever filling me.
͠
Ryan slid his hand from my shoulder, then he placed it on my back and urged me closer. I obliged, our lips still joined, and when he opened his mouth and began sucking on my lips, my head was assaulted by such a roaring rush of heat, it was as if my blood had been replaced with boiling water.
I began to open my mouth too, not an idea in the world as to what I was doing, or if I was doing it properly, and he took advantage of this without a second wasted. Ryan rejoined our lips, an enthusiasm inside of him that alarmed and invigorated me, and his tongue slipped past my lips, and into my mouth.
This was shocking but I didn’t pull away. I’d seen enough videos, and I’d caught my former sengils making out more than a few times, so I knew what he was doing… but having it done to me was something else.
It was slippery and warm, not at all unpleasant, but it was strange. What was really exciting me however was having him in this way, all to myself. Ryan was mine now; he belonged to me.
Not Todd, not anyone.
He was mine.
And I didn’t want to admit to myself just how much what I was currently doing… was to piss off Todd and claim Ryan as my own territory. Honestly, I think the feeling of winning was just as powerful to the invigorating sexual rush going through me.
I felt lightheaded when Ryan slid his hand up my shirt. I didn’t know if I should do the same or just let him lead. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do, it was as if my body was screaming at me in a different language, one I hadn’t learned yet. It was flooding me with these feelings, these positive sensations, but I didn’t know what the hell I was supposed to do with them.
I met my tongue with Ryan’s, and moved it like he was doing. His breathing was heavy, I could feel it on my nose, and his heartbeat was tearing out of his chest like mine was. And it wasn’t just our hearts that were reacting to this… I was aroused.
And I think so was he.
Am I… about to have sex?
At that thought my focus shifted from our lips, down to my groin area. It was tight, stiff, and throbbing with heat. This had happened before, many times, but usually I’d ignore it until it went away. Nero told me I was missing out, whatever that meant, but it was just something I always put off exploring.
But now… now I think I was ready. I was old enough. Yeah… I was old enough. I could do it. Fuck, I wanted to do it. He was older, he’d know how it was done. He had the experience.
Suddenly there was crash downstairs. Ryan and I both jumped back from surprise, and after exchanging fleeting looks of shock, both our heads turned towards the stairs at the end of the hallway.
“It’s… it’s probably just my cat,” I stammered. “No one’s supposed to be–” My voice trailed when Ryan quickly scrambled to his feet, the hot and heavy mood shattering around us like a brick had been thrown through the glass dome that encased us.
No! I wasn’t going to let a stupid noise ruin this! I was about to become a god damn man and no clumsy feline was going to–
We both heard the stereo downstairs turn on. I knew Ryan heard it because his heart began to throw itself against his chest like it was a mental patient in a padded room.
“I should go,” Ryan said hastily. He turned and walked out of the living room, grabbing his jacket which he’d put over a dining room chair.
“Wait…” I called after him. I didn’t know who was downstairs. I was still relying on it being the cat. Fuck, somehow it had to be that fucking cat. “Don’t… don’t go…”
But there was no stopping him. With his eyes fearful, and his face and the tips of his ears scarlet red, Ryan headed for the door.
“I… I’ll see you on Monday,” Ryan said in the same quickened and stress-filled tone. I felt like I was slowly falling down the stairs in that moment. So many facets of what had just happened were out of my control, and I’d loved it. But not being in control of him staying was driving me insane.
“There’s empty apartments,” I said, my tone almost pleading. “Don’t leave. Not now.”
Ryan paused, the door to the hallway outside now open. He then turned and looked at me, fear plain as day on his face.
“You… I… I can’t…” Ryan swallowed hard, before turning and leaving without saying anything else.
The door then closed behind him, and I was left alone.
Or was I alone?
I walked to the end of the hallway and glared down the stairs. The music was still playing, Smash Mouth, which meant it most likely was…
Shit.
Garrett was standing beside the stereo. He had his arms crossed and there was a glaring look on his face that made it all too clear that he’d seen something. The stereo and the bang I’d heard wasn’t him being clumsy, it was Garrett deliberately sabotaging what I was doing.
I was going to have to handle this carefully.
“What the fuck are you trying to pull, asshole!” I exploded. I stalked up to Garrett and pushed him aside to turn off the stereo. “I had company over.”
“What am I trying to pull!?” Garrett exclaimed back. “You… you… ugh, Elish, he’s fucking old! You’re only thirteen! Are you seriously asking me this question?”
So he had seen us. Fuck, I was in trouble. “What did you see?” I demanded. I grabbed Garrett by his shirt and yanked him so his face was right up next to mine. “Tell me.”
A flicker of fear appeared, albeit fleetingly, on my brother’s face. He was a coward and he knew it.
But then his damn bravery came back. “I saw you making out with an old guy,” he said coolly. “And I just stopped you from making a dire mistake. I’m telling Silas once he comes back.”
I twisted his shirt and leaned my face towards his. “You’re not saying anything to Silas,” I said. “Not a single thing.” Garrett’s eyes widened and his throat tightened as he swallowed.
“You’re just like Nero,” Garrett said back, bitterness coating his tone, a desperate attempt to mask the fear I could smell. “Using threats to make me shut up. You’re acting like an idiot, Elish, and you’re going to make a huge mistake.”
I pushed him away. “It’s my mistake to make,” I spat. “Mind your own damn business and keep your mouth shut.” I stalked towards the stairs, my muscles stiff like concrete and my fists clenched.
“If I was going to make a huge mistake… I’d want you to tell me,” Garrett called back after me. I heard him sigh and the sounds of socked feet softly hitting the carpet. “Don’t be mad. You gotta know this is fucked up. Right?”
I whirled around. “It’s my fucking decision!” I snapped. “It’s my life, my fucking body, and my decision.”<
br />
“No, it’s not!” Garrett yelled, his voice rising with mine. “It’s Silas’s life, Silas’s body, and Silas’s decision. He owns us, not–” I raised my fist and punched Garrett in the jaw.
“He does not own me,” I snarled, my words shaking from the rage sweeping me. “He abandoned us because he decided to be depressed over some fucking asshole who died decades ago. Silas isn’t here, so I’m going to do whatever the fuck I want and you’re going to keep your mouth shut.”
Garrett rubbed his cheek, I could see a sheen of red on his lips. “And what if I don’t?”
“You don’t want me to reach that point.” I turned back around and walked to my bedroom. “We’re going to be brothers for a long time, Garrett. Eternity if Silas has his way. I wouldn’t make an enemy of me so early in our lives.”
I heard him sigh but I had nothing else to say to him. I stalked to my room and locked the door behind me.
CHAPTER 19
Ryan wasn’t at school that following week, nor that Monday, or Tuesday or Wednesday. I went about my normal routine of school, studies, and homework, and avoided not only Garrett, but the rest of my siblings as well. I was fine staying in my bedroom with my cat, and needed no one else around me to disturb my peace.
Or my foul mood.
And it was quite foul.
Why was he not coming to school? Did he just want to ignore me for the rest of the semester now? Why? Did he regret it? I didn’t understand why he was avoiding me, and his job. He’d have to face me someday.
But even though Professor Britain was avoiding coming to class, Todd had emerged last Thursday. The shitsnake was sporting several bandages on his face, and a soured look that screamed his discontent on the world. Or me anyway.
I’m not sure why he was so upset over me beating him up, everyone was fawning over him now. Todd might be an asshole, but he was charismatic and personable which meant he had a lot of friends. His boyfriend Mario was sticking rather close to him too, that ginger-haired fuck clung to him like dog shit on a shoe. Most likely Mario now knew about what my brothers and I had done to him, or me at least. I hope he did, because if he so much as gave me a dirty look my teeth would be on his face next.