by Quil Carter
The room was given back to silence after my words faded from the air. I continued to look out at the view of Skyfall around me, until there was shuffling.
I glanced to my side as Finn emerged from his dark sanctuary. He gave me one look, before sitting down on the bed and shifting himself over to me. The sengil leaned against me, and when I saw how shaky and scared he was, I put my arm around him.
His heartbeat began to slow, and as the seconds became minutes, his body gradually unwound itself and became calm.
I knew it wasn’t much… but I did feel accomplished in that moment. I’d faced my first obstacle with my sengil and had been successful in my goal of calming him down. Admittedly, this did make me quite proud. It wasn’t a huge victory, but it was a victory.
I decided that Finn and I would spend the rest of the day in my bedroom. The boy had no qualms about that, on the contrary, the one time Garrett did knock on the door, offering to order us dinner, Finn’s heart leapt so high I once again became concerned he was going to go into heart failure. But since he was okay with remaining in my bedroom, together we got to know each other over stir-fry and noodles.
It was approaching midnight when Finn started to yawn. I was doing more of my Skyfall work and since Finn had already cleaned my bedroom from top to bottom, I’d enlist his help in more of the easier, yet tedious, bits of paperwork.
“You can sleep whenever you like,” I said to him when he’d just stifled his third yawn in fifteen minutes. I was debating going to Julian’s once the commotion outside of my door started to wane. It had been four days since I’d last seen him, four days since I’d told him that I had to think things through and really decide what I wanted to do about us. I knew that Julian had browbeat me into making it two, but with everything going on around me, that just hadn’t been feasible.
“Thank you, Master Elish,” Finn said with a tired smile. But then the smile faded and he looked around the room.
I did as well, wondering what that expression was about… then I realized with an internal sigh that I’d never gotten Nero to bring in that bed.
Well, I had a king size bed. It was big enough for the two of us and I didn’t have any qualms sharing. “You can sleep in my bed,” I said. “I may be stepping out in a while to visit a friend. I haven’t decided if I’ll be doing it or not however, but if I do decide… it won’t be until you’re asleep.”
I sighed when the boy gave me a terrorized look. “You’re leaving?” he said, his voice rising several octaves. “You… Master, you said… you said you’d… I’d never leave your side.”
He… wasn’t supposed to take that literally.
“It’s only for several hours to visit a friend, and I may not even go.” I hadn’t even had time to do much thinking. I didn’t even know what my decision was, life had just been too hectic to even think. What was I going to say to him?
Finn swallowed hard, his heartbeat once again attempting to take off towards the sky. “Yes, Master,” he squeaked. “I’ll just change into my sleeping clothes then. One moment.” He got up, quickly grabbed a few articles of clothing from his dresser, and vanished into my en-suite bathroom.
I sighed, and since Finn wasn’t looking, I wiped both hands down my face and groaned. Should I even be going to Julian’s tonight? He’d be disappointed that I took two extra days but still had no answer for him.
No, it would be a mistake to go tonight. I’ll spend tonight thinking thoroughly about what I wanted to do, and tomorrow evening I’d visit Julian after Finn went to sleep and tell him what I’d decided.
Finn came out dressed in a pink sleeveless undershirt and neon purple boxer shorts with neon blue and green spray paint. It was… a bit louder than my style of clothing. I didn’t know if I’d be allowing him to wear such interesting colours, but for tonight I’d let it pass.
“I’ll be remaining here tonight,” I said.
The reaction was instant. Finn visibly relaxed and gave me an appreciative smile. “Thank you, Master Elish,” he said. As he got into bed I turned off all of the lights except for my desk lamp. It was cute in a way just how much he was drowning in that king size bed and my comforter. He seemed so small, like I could pick him up and put him in my pocket.
“Master Elish?” Finn said sleepily. I was going over Isenberg’s proposed budget for Nyx and Eros. I wouldn’t be going to bed for a few more hours. I really didn’t need that much sleep anymore.
“Yes?”
“How do you like your morning coffee?”
When I looked over at him I saw he was smiling at me. What a weird boy. But, then again, his job was to learn everything that I liked until he knew what I wanted before I did. I might as well get used to all of these questions.
“I prefer it black,” I said. That should be easy enough for him. “I drink tea during the day when I have a lot of work to do, and always in the evenings. I’ll show you how to make it to my liking tomorrow.”
“I can’t wait,” Finn said, still smiling. He had this… odd child-like quality to him when it came to being taught his sengil responsibilities. Like how he exclaimed his excitement for making a chore chart for him and the others. I wondered how I was going to make it through the next fifteen years, but sadly, was reminded that eventually this poor boy would become just as bitter and jaded as me.
I hoped not… but I knew this family.
And I also knew myself.
However, tonight would not be the night that Finn lost his innocent spark. After several hours of work, I retired to bed, the boy content in his nest of blankets and me just happy I didn’t have a little brother to look after tonight. I closed my eyes and started thinking about Julian and what I should do about him.
If these four days were any hint, I don’t think I even had time to have a boyfriend. But with Finn here now things should be settling, right? Already Julian had been so good for me. I looked forward to my time with him, and it was obvious with just how well I was handling Skyfall and my family these past four days, that having him near me was good for me. Just being himself… it had made me happy, and I missed him.
I really did miss him…
I should’ve gone to his apartment tonight. It felt like my batteries were being drained and he was the one to fill them.
The more I thought about Julian, the more I realized I truly missed him. Everything had just been so chaotic, but now that I was in bed with no other distractions around me, I realized just how much I wanted to see him.
And hear his voice… his laugh.
I smiled slightly. The room was dark and the boy was asleep; how sad I only felt like I could smile when no one else was around.
Well, that’s how it had been before I met Julian… I could smile in front of him, act like myself in front of him… Julian was the only person I could truly be Elish with. Well, I suppose the sengil would be around me enough to see it, but just those two.
Speaking of that sengil…
I pulled myself out of my deep thinking and realized I was hearing shuffling. Did he have to use the restroom?
I opened my eyes, the room now illuminated by my night vision, and watched out of the corner of my eye as Finn shuffled himself over to me. Unaware that I was awake due to the darkness, it seemed to be that he was moving himself closer so he could sleep nearer to me.
Just as I expected, I heard a small sigh which blew light air on my neck, then the boy adjusted himself, now close enough for me to feel his body heat, and once again fell silent.
I wanted to tell him to get back on his side, but I decided to chose my battles tonight. Instead I closed my eyes again and thought of Julian, anticipating as I fell asleep what would happen tomorrow.
And it was a restful sleep… until about four in the morning.
CHAPTER 35
Finn jumped up in the air and gasped when there was a knock on my bedroom door. I was half-asleep and groggy when the assaultingly loud noise tore through my dreams, only fully waking up when Finn began shaking me, ne
rvous squeaks coming from his mouth as he did.
“That’s not Silas’s knock, calm down,” I mumbled. I slipped out of bed, assuming that it must be something to do with the children. But then I remembered that Ellis, along with her witch friends, had the twins and Ceph tonight to give us time with our sengils. Which translated to: Silas knew that about sixty-six percent of us would be having sex with them tonight and he had strict rules about the little ones being far away from such things.
“Open up… it’s um… I think it’s an emergency?”
I paused. That was Nero; he sounded strangely unsure about why he was even there. What could this be about?
I opened the door, dressed in only boxer shorts since it was hot tonight. “What?” I said through a muffled yawn.
Nero was standing in the doorway looking just as tired as I myself was. “I don’t even know what…” he said, confusion the clearest thing coming from my groggy brother. He held up his remote phone and handed it to me. “I got a call… some dude says he knows you? Um, does he have your phone?”
I stared at him blankly, then like a cold smack in the face, my reality barrelled through the fatigue and hit me.
And it hit me hard.
Julian.
Was he fucking insane? WAS HE FUCKING INSANE?
I took the phone from Nero, my eyes stinging from them bulging out of my fucking head and turned around. I pushed the door so it could close by itself and put the phone to my ear.
“What are you doing?” I hissed into the phone. I put my hand on my forehead and locked my teeth; I felt like I was going to pass out. What the hell was he doing? This is bad. Fuck. This is bad.
Then I heard him stifle a sob on the other end of the phone.
“I need you here,” he croaked. His voice was weak, shaking… something had happened. Something had happened to him.
I froze, my legs suddenly accumulating a thousand pounds each. Just like that, there was no anger inside of me, it had all vaporized the moment I heard the desperation and the despair in his tone.
“What… what happened?” I said quickly. I turned on my desk light and saw Finn sitting on the bed staring at me; he was wide awake as well… but he wasn’t the only heartbeat in the room.
Nero was in the doorway, his arms crossed and his head tilted to the side.
“My… my dad,” Julian sniffed. “He got really angry and I’m hurt… Please come over; I need you.”
“Okay, I will. I’ll… do you need any medical attention?” I snapped my fingers at Finn and pointed to the closet. To his credit, the boy nodded and hopped off of the bed. That was where I kept my medical kit.
“Yeah… no doctors though. I just… need you.” He let out a sob and started to cry.
“No, don’t cry…” I turned around and walked to my dresser. “I’ll be there in half an hour at the most…”
“Okay,” Julian said through a shaky voice. “Thank you, baby.”
I hung up the phone and swore as I gave it back to Nero. “Thank you, Nero. You can go back to sleep now.”
Nero snorted. I glared at him as I quickly started to dress. “I’m not going anywhere until you tell me who your boyfriend is. You weren’t really taking those nighttime walks, where you?”
“Nero… this isn’t the fucking time as you can see…” I snapped. I sat on the bed to put on my socks and saw Finn already running over with my shoes. He was well-trained.
“You can tell me on the way then,” he said with a shiteater smile. And before I could tell him to go pound sand, he vanished back to his room. He was dressing himself to tag along, which meant I had to get out of here quickly.
“This is an emergency… I’ll be leaving you for a few hours…”
“Don’t worry about me, Master Elish. I understand, it sounded urgent,” Finn said. He was tying my left shoe and me the right. “Do you wish for me to wait up for you?”
I stood up and grabbed my jacket. “No, it’s alright, just go back to sleep.” I glanced in Nero’s direction, and when I didn’t see him, I nodded to Finn. “I’ll be back soon.” And with that, I snuck out of the apartment and ran to the elevator.
As the doors closed I heard Nero swearing at me from down the hall. I beat him though, and by the time the elevator returned to this floor I’d be running down the street towards that skyscraper. Nero might be quick, but I was quicker, and he didn’t know where Julian was.
Fuck… Julian. I shouldn’t have left him for this many days. This was all my fault. If I hadn’t spent so long away from him he wouldn’t have been home to get this assault from his father.
His fucking father…
By the time I was running through the empty streets of Skyland I was seeing red. With every hard step onto the pavement more rage was being pushed into me, until I felt like I was floating instead of running.
I was going to kill him. I was going to kill that man.
My entire life… my fucking entire life I’d lived with my abuser. I’d been beaten within an inch of my life, forced upon… I’d been humiliated and pounded down to nothing. I was his victim and I hated it with every fucking cell I had inside of me.
But he was the king. Silas had ended the world. Silas had rebuilt the world. Silas had made genetically superior children from god damn petri dishes and had grown them in artificial wombs. I may hate that man – and oh I fucking did – but there was no denying the powerful king he was.
Who was Julian’s father?
He was nothing.
He was fucking nothing and I will show him what happens when he hurts my friend.
I ran into the skyscraper, my chimera body not even making me short of breath, and sped up the three flights of stairs to Julian’s apartment. I ran down that hallway, with my heart pounding and my rage consuming me alive, and burst in.
But when I saw him… just like when I’d been on the phone with him not even fifteen minutes before, the feelings of anger fizzled and died, and my heart became burdened with sadness.
He was sitting on the couch with his head lowered, his shoulders shaking and his hand holding a crumpled up rag that was spotted and smeared with blood. There was blood all over his white shirt, and it was torn in the front.
Oh my poor boy…
“Julian…” I whispered.
Then he looked up at me, and I stopped mid-step.
His left eye was swollen shut, his nose red and crusted with blood. His face… it was a mixture of blackened bruises and more blood, some of it hastily wiped away as if he was trying to minimalize that I was going to see.
When Julian saw me in the doorway his face crumpled, and as he put a hand to his mouth, I ran to him. He stood just as I was approaching and I took him into my arms.
But when I hugged him, winces and whimpers fell freely. “It’s… just my wrist,” Julian said as he pulled away. He sniffed, his nose sounding clogged from blood. “I don’t think it’s broken… he grabbed it and yanked it. I didn’t hear a crack but…” He stalled, looking so much smaller than he did usually, then his arms wrapped around my chest and I embraced him again. “I’m just glad you’re here.”
I wanted to tighten my grip until I myself heard bones breaking, but I refrained and tried to be gentle. But in the silence of our embrace, I could feel my heart just throwing itself against my chest like it was a mental patient in an asylum. Julian’s was calmer than mine… but perhaps that was because I was there.
That calmness was a façade however, soon Julian began to cry harder, and I allowed him to do it freely, only rubbing his back and shushing him. I’d never done that to anyone who wasn’t a baby, but strangely, I liked it. He was responding to it as well… I was really a source of comfort for him.
I… felt honoured by that.
And it also opened up my heart even more to him…
“I’m going to stitch you up… and you can tell me what happened.” I gently pulled away from him and grabbed the suitcase I’d abandoned in the doorway. I sat down on the couch with the me
dical kit and a bowl of warm water I’d retrieved from his kettle, and first attempted to wash the blood from his face.
My hands… they were shaking, my breathing hitched. As I tried to clean him up I realized I was having trouble concentrating. The rage was a sleeper agent, temporarily disappearing to give me a false sense of calm, but triggered once the adrenaline of what had happened had worn off.
While my hand gently wiped the drying blood from his swollen face, my inner thoughts were inundated with images of brutality. I wanted to kill the man who had hurt Julian, and even though I had no idea what he looked like, my fantasies graced me with the thoughts of him meeting a grisly, gruesome end.
“Elish…?” Julian whispered.
My eyes focused on him; I think I’d been staring off into nothing. “What happened tonight?” I asked, my tone more demanding than I wanted.
Julian’s heart skipped. I wasn’t sure if it was my tone or the question, either way I needed the answer.
So I watched him, and when he deflected his eyes, I stared at him until the heat from my gaze had his timid eyes turning upwards.
As soon as our eyes locked, his bruised face dissolved into fresh tears and his eyes squeezed tight. “I… I just…” he stammered, his voice as wavy as this swirling anger I was feeling. “I’m sorry for calling…”
He was deflecting me, and though a normal person might take the paper tiger he was throwing, I knew what he was doing and remained firm.
“What happened?” I asked again. I pulled the pink-tinged towel away and continued to take him as my visual hostage. “Tell me.”
Julian sniffed, and finally he began to speak. “My dad was wondering why I was so happy. He was pissed off because he said it made my mother feel sad when I was this happy; said I was a selfish asshole for making her feel bad…” What a stupid fucking man. Mad that his child was happy? That was reminiscent to Silas. “He started calling me all sorts of things… he said I was ugly, a failure, a stupid fucking loser who would achieve nothing.” My upper and lower teeth slid around; I could hear them grinding in my mouth. “He told me I’d never be like my brother and sister, that it should’ve been me who died. I’d never seen him so fucking mad. I… I never usually fight back but… being with you, it’s just made me so happy.” He let out a weak, pathetic laugh. “I punched him in the face… can you believe it? I thought to myself that… if I could befriend the damn Heir of Skyfall, I couldn’t be that shit of a person, right?”