One day after Cassandra had just dismissed the little girls from sewing and was curled up reading a book when there was a knock at the door.
“Come in,” she answered rather absentmindedly as she turned a page and continued reading the words in front of her.
“Cassandra?” It was Taleon’s voice.
She looked up. The book dropped to the floor. Taleon was standing behind her father.
“Pappa!” she said, springing to her feet and running across the room.
He opened his arms to her and she hid her face against his doublet.
“Cassie!” he murmured in her ear and pressed a kiss into her hair.
“Oh, Pappa. I-I am so...” she burst into tears. Her heart was full. She could feel his love. It was in his voice, in the tender way he wrapped his arms around her. It shone in his eyes.
“Shh,...it’s all right, Cassie. All is well now.”
“But I have been such a...oh.”
He gathered her into his arms and carried her to the seat she had just left by the window.
She wrapped her arms around his neck, her head resting on his chest. His arms were wrapped about her, holding her so close. There was so much to talk about.
Taleon watched her race across the room into her father’s arms. King Aric had given her such affection that he...
He quietly walked out the door and closed it firmly. Just at that moment, a little girl came running around the corner.
“Oh hello,” she said, pausing and looking up admiringly but slightly fearfully at Taleon.
“Do you need something?” he asked, dropping down to her level.
“I forgot my needle in there,” she said shyly.
“Come,” he said, offering her his hand. “I will make you another needle. Cassandra can’t be disturbed just at this moment; she is talking with King Aric.”
The little girl’s eyes grew wide with wonderment, and she placed her small hand in his. “Will you truly make me another?”
“Cross my heart,” he said with a smile, and they walked away. When he had made her a needle, and she had gone off to finish her sewing with her little mates, Taleon sat whittling a scrap of wood—not really caring what he made out of it as long as it meant he would have to sharpen his blade later. He needed something to distract him.
“Taleon?”
His name being called made him perk up his head. “Yes,” he answered blankly.
Keenan smiled and sat beside Taleon. “Making anything in particular?”
Taleon examined the mutilated piece of wood in his hand. “Fancy piece of kindling,” he quipped with a smile.
Keenan chuckled under his breath. “How is the king?”
“Happy, and so is Cassandra.”
“And you?”
“Quite well.”
Keenan hummed an assent.
For a while, they sat there in silence while Taleon whittled at his piece of wood. When he was frustrated, he dropped it and rose to his feet.
“Excuse me, my lord,” he said with a slight nod of his head.
“She can’t replace you, Taleon.”
Taleon stopped and turned around.
“What?”
Keenan strode to his side. “She can’t replace you. You still mean the world to him.”
“But that world has always revolved around her.”
“Maybe, but don’t let her get in the way of doing your duty.”
“She can’t get in my way.”
Keenan nodded. “I’ll see you tonight at the table.”
Taleon nodded and watched Keenan walk away, his own heart refusing to speak to him. There were too many more important things to think about just then anyway.
That evening he stood in the shadow of a pillar, his usual half-hidden spot when his king and Cassandra entered. She was leaning on her father’s arm and looking adoringly up at his face.
“Cassandra, this is my council: twelve members in all.” He proceeded to introduce each by name, and each council member nodded his reverence to her. She bowed her head in return, gracefully. Cassandra took the new challenge on with ease and a smile.
She is a born princess, Taleon thought, his eyes flickering around the room. The men like her. It is good.
In a few minutes, she was seated in the alcove next to where he was sort of hiding. He was the council’s page and often they would ask him questions or request his opinion.
For a long time they discussed the status of the kingdom: who was hurting, who needed help, those who could hold out.
“We need to make our move before the crops are harvested. Or at least what crops there will be to harvest. I don’t want a long campaign, and the last thing I want is Archibald stocked for the winter while the people starve. It gives us three months to prepare the valley ready. We will need everything we’ve have to make it happen. Our forces are nearly the same size, but the terrors they wreak lends fear to their side. Have we heard anything from the sparrows in his court?”
“Not a word, but that is typical. They’ll let us know if there is anything urgent. We can’t afford to have either of them caught.”
“Of course. What do the scouts in the valley have to say?”
Keenan pulled out a map of Chambria. “We know he has forces here, here, and here,” he said, placing black pieces on the map.
“He is still holding that town hostage. They need us desperately and yet we can’t get to them.”
“What if we put our small army to work on them, your Majesty?”
The king’s mouth twinged. “Taleon, Cassandra, come over here if you please.”
Both came before him.
“I trust both of you. I want to know what you think.” He moved the pieces around on the board, showing what was being suggested.
“What do you think?” asked the king, turning to them.
Cassandra looked up to Taleon, deferring to let him answer.
“Ladies first,” Taleon admonished.
She sent him a glare before answering her father. “I know little of tactics, Father, but the action suggested seems better than no action at all.”
The king smiled and turned to Taleon. “What do you think my lad?”
“I was wondering, sire, if this wouldn’t be a better approach?” and he moved around the pieces.
Cassandra watched her father as he smiled at Taleon’s ideas, placing a hand on his shoulder, and the other hand leaning on the table. He was listening intently to everything he had to say. She wished that she had been able to say something wise and interesting.
She listened to the conversation, trying to understand why this was all so important.
“We want to pressure them so that they move into one area. One stronghold is easier to take down than several scattered over the country.”
“You are right, my lad. It is as you say. What do you think, my lords?” he said, turning to his council. They nodded in agreement. A few made additional suggestions, many of which were applied.
“Very well; we start our war.”
There was a grave feeling in the room. Everyone understood the gravity of such a decision. They knew what it meant. It was time to fight for king and country.
Cassandra looked around the room, her heart pounding in her chest. Taleon and her father were looking at one another. A smile twitched at Taleon’s mouth and he nodded. Her father patted him on the shoulder. Then his eyes shifted to Cassandra. They were grave and affectionate. This was the beginning of something wonderful and fearful, but which was the greater Cassandra didn’t know.
Chapter 18
“Very well, we will move into action tomorrow. Cassandra, I suggest you retire. We have some things to discuss.”
Cassandra felt baffled. She glanced at Taleon. He wasn’t being asked to leave. She glanced around the room and realized it was her, they were going to discuss. Her jaw tightened.
“Good night Pappa. My lords.” She glanced sideways at Taleon
. I don’t want to wish him a good night, but if I don’t that means he is ranked among the lords. “Taleon,” she added with a slight nod.
Hiding her wounded pride, she slipped out of the room quietly. She walked the hallways, thinking, wondering what Taleon would tell them all and blushing at so many of her rash words and actions.
“Why couldn’t I have kept a civil tongue in my head?” She looked at her left thumb. The stitches were gone but a fine line still showed. Taleon and the doctor had sewn it up quite nicely. Cassandra decided to visit Edith and Brendan; they always put her in a good humor—especially Brendan.
She knocked on the door where they were staying.
“Come in,” Edith invited.
As she entered, Brendan let out a squeal of joy and Cassandra scooped him up in her arms.
“How are you, my little Brendan?”
He babbled at her and she laughed in delight.
“What, shall you grow up and be someday, a statesman? I think you would make a very fine speaker.”
“An honest man. Any living he makes with integrity will make me a happy mother.”
Cassandra smiled. “Yes, your mother is quite right, but how are you, Edith?”
“Much better now that we are alone. When we first arrived, I was afraid I was going to die, leaving him behind motherless and fatherless. Thankfully no, I praise God that He didn’t see fit to take us both from him,” she said, coming over to admire her son.
He flashed her his charming smile and garbled another babyish, almost plain-word, sentence.
“But how are you? Something seems to be on your heart.”
“I should be happy since my father came today.”
Edith smiled at the girl. “I hear a very large except in there.”
“Father brought me to the council tonight and later dismissed me. I am pretty sure they are going to talk about some of the rash things I’ve said.”
Edith laughed. “Is that all you are worried about? Them talking about you?”
“It is far more than that. I was so stupid and foolish when I first came here.”
“How much did you talk about your father behind his back?”
Cassandra blushed. “Don’t remind me,” she groaned, then slowly told Edith the whole story.
“Well, you are a new convert. They will have to make sure it sticks before they trust you with too much information.”
Cassandra nodded. They already have entrusted me with a lot of information.
“When you are royalty, there has to be something called secrets, and that you know plenty about, as is obvious by your own story.”
“I can’t believe how blind I was to my uncle’s schemes. I should have known. I should have.”
Edith took Brendan out of her arms and set him on the floor. She pulled Cassandra to a seat beside her and took her hands.
“You can’t undo what your past has done to you, but you can change your future, and you aren’t going to make a change until you look past what you have already done and let it go.”
“But I...”
“But nothing. Cassandra, no one blames you but yourself, do you hear me?”
Cassandra looked away.
“The people forgive you. They know you were squeezed into his form like we all were. All you have to do is forgive yourself. That is the only thing holding you back. Your father forgives you; the people forgive you; what are you going to do about it?”
Cassandra studied the floor in earnest, her thoughts whirling around in her head. Brendan came and pulled himself up beside her, bouncing happily on his two wobbly legs.
How does one go about forgiving themself? Taleon’s words ran through her head: “If you could see the tortured look in your eyes you would forgive yourself.” Is that what it means to let it go? To not torture yourself and relive every moment? She closed her eyes. Just let it go. Let it go. It is the only way you will move on. You are needed here. You need to move on. Let it go, Cassandra, Let go. She found herself smiling. It was another release. Unexpectedly Edith’s arm slipped around her shoulder.
“You’ve got it now, don’t you?”
“I hope so.”
“Now remember. Sometimes it will come back; just keep forgiving yourself. It is the only way to conquer it.”
Brendan let out a crow of delight and Cassandra slid to the floor. Time passed quickly with Edith and Brendan, and in a little while, Brendan’s eyes were drooping shut as he tried to play.
“I best put this little fellow to bed. I’ll see you soon, Cassandra?”
“Yes, soon,” said Cassandra, knowing full well she had stayed her welcome and that Brendan wouldn’t sleep as long as she was there.
She slipped into the night air and walked through the empty courtyard. Cassandra stopped and looked up at the moon hanging so brightly in the sky. In some ways it seemed so close that she could touch it; in other ways, it seemed so far away that no one could ever reach it. She walked on, staring at her feet, thinking.
“Your highness?” a voice asked in the dark.
“Yes,” she asked, pricking up her head as she recognized the voice that had brought her there: Williamsen.
“How are you doing?” he asked, stepping out of the shadows.
“Well; and yourself?”
“Quite well, your highness. Are you glad to have your father home?”
“Yes.”
“Do you know when he is leaving yet?”
“No, he hasn’t told me.”
“Are you sure? They didn’t talk about it in the meeting at all?”
“No, they didn’t. But how do you know about the meeting?” she said, getting a strange prickling up her spine
“Common knowledge.”
“I see.” Somehow it didn’t calm her nerves.
“So what did they talk about tonight?”
“The meeting might be common knowledge, but what they discuss isn’t, Willamsen.”
“Taleon always tells me what they talk about, so you can too.”
“I think I will leave Taleon to fill you in then. He is more capable than I.”
“Your highness, you aren’t going to hold the fact that I am the one who brought you up here against me, are you?”
“No, I am not.”
“Then why won’t you tell me?”
Willamsen was making her uncomfortable and flustered. “I just don’t want to, all right.”
“So you are mad at me.”
“I am not.”
“Then tell me.”
“No.”
“I’ll leave you alone if you do.”
“And you won’t if I don’t?”
“Exactly.”
Cassandra never knew exactly how he had done it but he had her cornered with no escape.
“Willamsen. Stop it. I am not interested in discussing this with you any further.” She pushed past him, but he caught her by the arm. For a moment they struggled before a voice broke in.
“That’s enough.”
Willamsen stopped at once, but Cassandra still had momentum and went stumbling forward. A moment later, Taleon caught her in his arms.
“You did well, Cassandra,” he whispered.
“Well?”
“It was a test.”
“A test?”
Taleon nodded.
“But I —” she glanced around. The upper balcony was filled with men scattered in the shadows—the men from the council. She looked down at the ground, holding her breath as well as her emotions. She had to think thoroughly before she took another breath. Some time passed.
“You can breathe, Cassandra.”
“I know. I just don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything?”
“Will there be more things like this?” she asked glancing up into his eyes.
They gave no reply.
“Wrong question to ask, I guess,” she sighed.
“I am sorry, Cassandra, but we had to know. I am the one who asked for it.”<
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“You?” Cassandra looked up at him, pained. “Maybe you want to take the key back to my room?”
“Cassandra, it’s not like that...”
“Good night, Taleon.”
Silently she brushed passed him. Not for the world would she let him know by her steps how angry she was with him. After all, hadn’t she said enough things to regret as it was? Why do something else she would regret?
Going to her room, she locked the door and went to bed—listening with hope for the sound, a knock. She desperately wanted to talk with her Pappa. After a long time, no knock came and she found she couldn’t sleep with Taleon’s unfinished sentence running in her head. She gave up on sleep. Pulling on her cloak, she went to walk along the castle walls. There she could think and breathe with ease.
Unexpectedly, she saw Taleon sitting on the castle wall. One leg dangling over the edge and the other wedging him firmly in the crenel of the battlement, he was staring down at the Capitol Chambria, deep in thought.
Carefully she walked past him and sat in the next crenel. For a while neither spoke.
“Taleon, what did you want to say to me that I didn’t stay to listen to?”
There was a long pause. Not even the look of recognition crossed his face.
Cassandra wondered if she would have to repeat herself. He seemed fond of making her do that when she didn’t particularly feel like it.
“It’s not like that because we do trust you, but you need to know that you can’t always trust everyone here. Raven Castle is a place of safety, but more than once we have had a spy disguise himself as a refugee and get up here. Just because you like someone or know them doesn’t mean they are always on your side.”
“I told Edith my story.”
“You can trust Edith; she is one of us. It is just meant to keep you on your guard, to train you how to look for things. They won’t all be as obvious as Willamsen.”
“How will I know who I can trust and who I can’t?”
“You’ll figure it out.”
“Can I trust you?”
Taleon smiled and for the first time looked at her, the answer in his eyes. “You did well tonight; you caught on fast. As Lord Gaveron would say, you have a good gut feeling.”
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