Eventually I stopped worrying about both problems. Miranda didn’t bother me at all. I could stand her glares, I didn’t care about them at all, and to her credit she never did anything that would prevent me from doing my job or seeing Jonathan when I needed to. Noah was a bit more of a problem, but I decided if he wanted to act like a douche, then that was fine, I’d just do my job while being as civil as I needed to be with him, no more, no less.
It made it all that much easier that Jonathan was really true to his word. After that first dinner, he made no more mention of our past, and all of our conversations were strictly of a professional nature. If anything, he seemed even a little bit more distant.
I couldn’t deny my own feelings, however. The more time I spent with Jonathan, the more I felt my old feelings return. My heart panged with desire every time Jonathan looked at me, every time I walked into a room with him in it. I quashed these feelings as well as I could, always thinking about Kevin, and how much I loved him. And it was true, I did love Kevin. I loved Kevin with all my heart. But there was something about Jonathan. There was a spark there, and I didn’t know where it came from. What I did know is it had to go. There was no way it could be acted on, and I wasn’t going to act on it. I didn’t want to feel this way.
Nonetheless, everything continued well for a few weeks. I got settled into my new role, but two weeks after I started, I finally had my first major disagreement with Liam Noah.
Three days before the fight, I was with the band, in the recording studio. To be honest, I didn’t really have a real reason to be there, I just wanted to see what it was like. After all, recording an album sounded exciting! I brought my laptop and my phone with me, which allowed me to do around 99% of my work, all the while getting to see a real live album being recorded.
I had to admit, while I sat in the room with the producer moving dials up and down on the recording equipment, the band on the other side of the room playing the same part of the song over and over to get it perfectly, I was pretty pleased with myself. After all, I’d just managed a total PR coup: the band was going to be featured on one of the country’s biggest fashion magazines.
The idea came into my head a few days after arriving. After all, whenever female artists needed a big PR boost they made their way onto the cover of a magazine. Why couldn’t a band of men do the same thing? Using the Knight Blindness name, I managed to speak directly to the magazine’s editor, and she thought the idea was as amazing as I did. We were going to do something that had rarely, if ever, been done before.
It worked really well for both of us: the magazine was going to get the shock factor of having a male group on their cover, not to mention a male band that had been in the news a lot lately, and we were going to get to tell our side of the story.
Jonathan, Eric and Jared weren’t quite as enthusiastic as I was about it (“Will we have to wear dresses?”), but eventually I brought them around. I wanted this to go well. This was going to be my first major project as the new PR manager for the band, and I wanted it to be a good thing. We were headed to the shoot for the editorial spread after the recording session, and as much as I tried to focus on what I was doing, I was really nervous about how things were going to go.
Liam Noah wasn’t able to make it to the shoot, he had to attend to other band business at the lawyer’s offices, working with organizers to plan the band’s worldwide tour, scheduled to start in seven months. He wasn’t pleased about this idea, but when the band agreed to do it, he realized he didn’t really have a reason to say no. After all, I was the one in charge of public relations.
When we arrived at the studio, there were dozens of clothing and makeup artists, all ready and waiting for the band to arrive. I felt completely overwhelmed. The closest thing I’d come to a photo shoot was in school when every year a photography company would come by, a man would stand behind the camera as I sat in a seat and tell me to smile. This was way different.
There were at least four photographers, all with multiple cameras on straps hanging off them. They ordered the lighting folks around a white backdrop, scrambling to get the perfect lighting. As soon as we entered, makeup artists took the band to a makeshift dressing table and the editor of the shoot came over to me.
“You must be Sara” she greeted me, holding out a hand.
“Yes, it’s nice to meet you.”
“I’m Janice. Let me tell you a little bit about what I have planned for today,” she continued, motioning around the room with her hands.
“Even though we generally have women on the cover and in the main shoot for the magazine, there is no reason we can’t make men sexy. I thought we should go for something retro, going back to the times when rock bands were gods. I’ve got the crew making up the band as if it were still the 80s, but with a bit of a modern twist. What you think?”
I had to admit, I thought it was brilliant. Knight Blindness were one of the few famous rock bands at the moment, with pop and rap making up the majority of famous musicians at the moment. Going back to the heyday of rock bands was a brilliant idea. Everyone still thought they were sexy, and I knew that with a modern touch the spread would look incredible.
After Janice left I found myself creeping to the corner of the room, trying to stay out of everybody’s way. After a few minutes, the band members came out, and I had to admit Janice knew what she was doing. I had never seen them look like this. The three men look like they came straight out of the 80s, with tight leather pants, ripped T-shirts that showed off their abs and chest and hair that looked disheveled but still modern. It was the perfect combination of then and now.
As the photographers led the band to their backdrop, I watched in amazement as I experienced my first ever photo shoot. Everyone involved was so professional, and I quickly knew this was going to be a success. Props were brought in, photographers ordered everyone around, and every few minutes they moved to the table with the computers set up so they could see their photos in real time.
I stood behind one of the tables, watching all of the photos pop up onto the screen. I had to admit, I felt a little familiar tingle of pleasure running down my back towards my nether regions as I saw just how sexy Jonathan looked in the photos. He was incredible. He was the leader of the band, yes, and it showed in these photos. There was something about him, something that made him stand out. I forced the thoughts running through my head to the back of my mind. I wasn’t allowed to have thoughts like this.
Instead of staying for the second part, I went out of the room and chose to enjoy the quiet for a while. I needed to cool my nerves. Why was I having these thoughts about Jonathan? To get him out of my head, I called Kevin. After all, with the time zone difference, he would be off work. We spoke almost every night, although sometimes life got in the way for both of us.
I pressed his speed dial number, longing to hear my boyfriend’s voice. Unfortunately, the voice I heard was that of his voicemail. I guess he was working late, or was running errands or something like that. Disappointed, I asked for him to call me. I went into the bathroom, cleaned myself up a little bit, and then went back into the photo shoot.
They were just starting to wrap up when I arrived. Jonathan came over and congratulated me.
“I’ve seen a number of the photos they’ve done for today. They are absolutely amazing! I honestly had no idea that this was going to turn out so well.”
“I’m glad. I saw a chunk of the photos as well, and you’re right, they do look amazing. That, combined with the interview, should lead to huge sales. You’re still all right with doing the interview tomorrow?”
Jonathan nodded. “Of course, yes. I realize it’s not really neither going to want to talk to go. Eric was a little bit hesitant at first, but I think you’re right. If we lay it all out, then that gets rid of all the rumors. Well, it never gets rid of them of course, but it will help them die down.”
Yes, my plan was going swimmingly. This was exactly what I had wanted. This was the perfect opportunity f
or the band to clear the air and get a new start. Not to mention it would coincide with the release of their new single, for which I knew Jonathan hoped would be the best-selling single of the year. I didn’t know enough about the industry to know whether or not that was realistic, but I knew Jonathan was ambitious, and I knew Eric and Jared were as well, and if anybody could have another huge hit it was them. I just hoped I was good enough to help them get there.
Three days later, Liam Noah came bursting in on me when I was eating lunch, thinking about that night when I was going to go out for drinks with the band. Despite their fame, perhaps even because of their fame, Jonathan, Jared and Eric loved to go clubbing, and I sometimes joined them.
“What the hell have you done?” Noah exclaimed as he burst into the room.
“I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about” I replied, trying to keep my anger at being interrupted like this under wraps.
“Bullshit you don’t, you’re the one who set up that magazine interview in the first place.”
“And what exactly is wrong with the interview?”
“Have you seen what they did to the band?” Noah replied, holding up an advance copy of the issue in which the band was to be featured, waving it in my face.
“No, I haven’t seen the issue at all,” I replied, grabbing it out of Noah’s hand and turning to the feature on the band.
I had to admit, I had expected something bad. I had expected that they would have made something up that happened in the interview, or invented some gossip. From the way Noah was going on about things, it sounded bad, and I was really quite worried that my first major coup as the head of PR for the band was about to go terribly.
When I finally saw what was written, I looked up and Noah, confused.
“Well, what’s the matter?” I asked.
“Everything. Everything’s the matter. Do you know how hard I’ve worked to make sure this band doesn’t look exactly like one of the stereotypical rock bands from the 80s? Do you know how hard effort to make sure that what happened between the band and the old PR firm has been kept under wraps?”
“Well, seeing as you can barely author to be civil to me then no, I had no idea. This really is the disaster you think it is. Of course I knew the band was going to be dressed up like an old-style band, but they were fully in favor of it, and I actually think it looks quite hot. As for the scandal we’ve caused, I thought it would be best to come clean with the public, to make sure all of the information came out in a venue of the band’s choosing. They agreed with me, and that’s how this magazine article came to be.”
“You had absolutely no right to do this without talking to me first.”
“Again, we get to the fact that you barely bothered to be civil to me. Why would I ever talk to you about things if I didn’t absolutely have to? I’m the head of PR, and doing interviews with magazines falls under my jurisdiction. Besides, if the band really thought you were doing the right thing for them, they would’ve told me so and refused to do the magazine.”
I could practically feel the temperature Noah’s body rising. His face went from a light shade of red to a dark purple. Finally, he splattered out a reply.
“You’re a stupid bitch, you know that? You have no idea what you’re doing, you don’t belong here, and you’re going to drive this band into the ground. All because you have a stupid fucking crush on Jonathan.”
“Leave. Get the hell out. You have no right to speak to me that way, and I’m not going to take this sort of shit from you.”
With that, Noah spun around on his heel, and without another word left the room. I was seething with anger. How dare that man speak to me that way? It was outrageous. I had just as much right to be here as he did. I knew I wasn’t the prettiest person, the most confident person or the strongest person. But that didn’t matter. I also knew when I was right, and I knew when other people crossed a line with me. Liam Noah had absolutely done that, and I was completely fuming with rage.
I decided to read the advance issue of the magazine is I finished my lunch. I had to admit, Janice and the editor had done an amazing job. The photo spread was incredible, making the band seem as if they were more than human. The interview however really sealed that they were in fact just people. It was raw, emotional, beautiful and everything I had hoped and then some. I wondered if Jonathan had seen it yet.
Chapter Six
I didn’t see Jonathan until later that night at the club. Obviously, I couldn’t bring in advance issue of the magazine with me, so I simply had to describe what it looked like until I got a chance to show him the issue.
“It really sounds amazing, I can’t wait to see it” Jonathan said after he described it to him.
“Yeah, it’s a real work of art.”
“How on earth did you get a copy of it so early?” Jonathan asked. Usually it was Noah who gave me advance issues of our press.
“My copy actually did belong to Noah originally.” And with that, I described to Jonathan the events of the afternoon. I had to yell a few times to be heard over the thumping noise of the bass. This wasn’t exactly the best location to have a conversation.
Jonathan was completely outraged at Noah’s behavior.
“I can’t believe he would speak like that to you. I’m going to have to have a talk with him.”
“No, don’t! It’s fine, Jonathan, thanks for the offer though. He just doesn’t like me for some reason, and it’s something I’m going to have to deal with. As much as I appreciate it, I can’t have you going around and fixing all of my problems.”
“Are you sure?”
I nodded. “Yes, I’m sure. We’re both adults, I’m sure we can sort things out eventually.”
“Well, if anything, this calls for a celebratory drink. I’ll be right back.”
I watched Jonathan’s tight body as he got up in front of me and made his way towards the bar. I knew he would be a while, since whenever he got up, small throngs of fans finally dared to ask him for an autograph, or perhaps a photo. I smiled as I watched, Jonathan always too polite to refuse a fan. In a lot of ways, he had never changed. He still had his small-town manners, that same knack of knowing exactly what to say and whenever he spoke to me I still felt like the only girl in the room.
Jonathan came back a few minutes later with a couple of drinks. This must’ve in my third, or was it fourth of the night? I wasn’t quite sure anymore. I could already feel a slight buzz in my head, the happy feeling of being tipsy taking over. This was nice, just Jonathan and I. Jared was on the dance floor, feeling up a tall blonde by the looks of things, and Eric was busy dealing with his girlfriend drama elsewhere.
We sat in our private booth, the lights flashing around us, the music blasting and I had to admit I enjoyed the lifestyle Jonathan was getting me accustomed to. I was eventually going to have to go back to my home in Ohio, I knew that, but for now this was fun. There was no way I ever would have gotten into this club on my own, let alone have been given a private table. There was just absolutely no way.
I finished my drinking got up to go to the ladies room, stumbling slightly.
“Are you okay?” Jonathan asked, noticing my slight trip.
“Yeah, yeah I’m fine” I replied, laughing it off. I didn’t really feel super drunk. Still, I stumbled towards the bathroom, trying to find my way through the throngs of people. Realizing I might’ve had a little bit too much to drink, I splashed some water on my face in the bathroom, then tried to reapply my makeup.
I was still sober enough to tell that this had been a good idea. I laughed at myself in the mirror, then did it again, this time the results much more presentable. When I made my way back to her table, Jonathan was gone. I looked around the club, and spotted him on the dance floor. He caught my eye in waved at me, and I waved back. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was because it was what I had secretly desired for weeks now, but something made me go over there and dance with Jonathan.
I made sure to keep everything appr
opriate. I kept a good distance between us, although I had to admit I veered closer and closer to Jonathan’s body from time to time. He did the same, never putting his hands on me, but occasionally hovering them only inches from my skin. The teasing, the lack of his touch, it drove me wild. I didn’t know why, but I wanted more.
Suddenly, the song ended, and it broke my reverie. Everything was back to normal. I smiled awkwardly at Jonathan, and began to walk back to the table. I sank into the comfortable seat, and motioned for the waitress to bring me another drink. A few minutes later, Jonathan joined me, plopping himself down on the other side. He grinned at me.
“You’re not too bad a dancer” he told me.
“Are you kidding me? Half the people in this club her professional dancers, I don’t hold a candle to them.”
“Yeah, but I’m not comparing you to them. You’d probably be that good too if you had been doing it since you were five. I’m just saying you’re much better dancer than I expected.”
“Did you expect I’d be terrible?” I was definitely drunk, I only gave Jonathan shit about things when I was drunk. Still, there was too much alcohol in me to care.
“I’m just not going to get out of this looking like a good guy, am I?” Jonathan replied.
This time it was my turn to grin at him. I had to admit, he took everything in good nature. God, I wanted him. I tried to think about Kevin, but his picture simply wouldn’t come into my head. It was as though I’d completely forgotten what he looked like. Was this really possible? After all, it was true that I hadn’t seen him in a while, but he was still my boyfriend. I still loved him. Surely I had to remember what he looked like.
Rocked with Passion (A New Adult Rockstar Novel) Page 4