He wondered if that was his fault. Whether after he had left, Phil had moved in like the predator he was, and Judy turned to him because she had no one else.
If that was the case, then he had to carry some of the responsibility. Unless, of course, it was right what Saunders said – that Judy had never really loved him, and that she was glad to be with Phil instead.
He could see Judy in his mind; the way she had been then and the way she was now. She still had that magical loveliness, he thought.
Through all the years, he had loved Judy as much as he did in the beginning. All this time, he had carried a picture in his mind of the small, quiet person who had stolen his heart.
Was Saunders right? Was it true that she had never really loved him? Thinking about the way it was between himself and Judy, Harry found the man’s claim hard to believe. But then he reminded himself of other times when Judy had seemed cold, even hostile towards him, before becoming clinging, almost like a frightened little child. He always comforted her when she was like that. But he never understood, and Judy would not discuss the reason for her moods.
Yes! Now he came to think of it, there had been times when he thought she did not really love him at all. He angrily dismissed the thoughts. His deeper instinct told him that Judy loved him, as much as he loved her.
Sometimes though, she had been distant … and kind of sad.
‘Hey! Penny for them?’ Amy’s shrill voice startled him.
He looked up. ‘Sorry, Amy, I was miles away.’
‘Yeah, I could see that. It’s a good job the others have gone, because you were talking to yourself – something about Saunders and Judy.’
Harry was shocked. ‘God! Was I really talking out loud?’
‘Well, more like muttering.’ Curious, she asked, ‘Is there something wrong? Was it that man – a nasty piece of work, I thought. I saw how agitated he was getting.’
‘It was just a shock to see him,’ Harry explained. ‘He was an old acquaintance from way back. There was an argument that was never settled, and which he can’t seem to let go of.’ Harry felt able to confide in Amy, at least to some extent. ‘He was someone I never thought, or hoped, to see again.’
‘Oh, right. Like that, was it?’ Reaching underneath the counter, the girl withdrew a packet of Wrigley’s spearmint chewing gum. ‘Want one?’
Harry shook his head. ‘Thanks all the same, but it’ll only end up sticking itself somewhere on my jacket.’
‘Okay.’ Rolling a strip of gum into her mouth, she mumbled, ‘That bloke, the one you haven’t seen for ages?’
‘Saunders,’ he answered. ‘His name is Phil Saunders – not a man you’d want to get mixed up with.’
‘I gathered that.’
‘Why?’ He did not think she had heard Saunders’ threats.
‘I dunno.’ She replaced the packet of chewing-gum in the drawer. ‘I’ve got a feeling I’ve seen him before.’
‘What?’ Harry sat up straight. ‘Where did you see him?’ He was excited that she might know where he and Judy lived.
‘Is he a mate?’ Amy asked. ‘Thought you didn’t like him.’
Harry gave a wry little smile. ‘Not so’s you’d know.’ Impatient, he pushed for an answer. ‘Amy, think! Where did you see him?’
Amy cast her mind back. ‘He was coming out of some pub in Bedford town centre – blind drunk, he was – fighting-mad and cursing at passers-by. He got into a fight and somebody called the police; they took him away in a Black Maria.’
Her eyes were popping out of her head. ‘Cor, if you ask me, he’s a right bad lot! That’s why I was surprised when I saw you and him talking together. I didn’t think you were the type to mix with a bloke like that.’
‘Amy?’ Harry had another question. ‘I don’t suppose there’s any chance you’d know where he lives, would you?’
‘Not bloody likely!’
‘Okay, so has he ever been here, in this store before – apart from today?’
Amy shook her head. ‘Not that I recall, and if he had, I’m sure I’d remember.’ She cringed. ‘Not only is he a loud-mouthed thug, he even looks like one!’ She made a face. ‘Ugly bugger, ain’t he?’
‘Look, Amy, it’s important that you help me here.’
‘I am helping you,’ she groaned. ‘Matter o’ fact you’re beginning to get on my nerves! It’s my birthday, remember, and me mum’s making me a special tea. I want to push off soon.’
‘Do you think he might be a home-buyer?’ Harry asked. ‘Maybe he hardly ever comes into the shop, but just buys from the catalogue and then pays the tallyman?’
Amy wasn’t sure about that. ‘We don’t have many customers who just buy from the catalogue,’ she said. ‘Not unless they live miles away and can’t get in, but that’s not usual.’
He had to try. ‘Could you not take a peek at the register?’ he pleaded. ‘Phil Saunders … his wife’s name is Judy.’ It really angered him to say that. She had always been Judy Roberts to him, and now she was Judy Saunders. It riled him, to think she had taken that thug’s name.
‘Why didn’t you just ask him for his address when he was here?’ Amy was puzzled.
‘I’ve got my reasons. Please, Amy, just take a peek at the register.’
While Harry kept an eye out for Mr Jacobs coming down, Amy went through the list in the company register. ‘He’s not in here,’ she said, slamming the ledger shut, ‘but I’ve a feeling Len keeps a separate, more personal register, of valued clients and all that. You never know, this Saunders bloke might be in there.’
‘Len hasn’t been in today, has he?’
Amy shook her head. ‘Nope. He had four days’ holiday long overdue.’
Harry bit his lip. ‘When will he be back?’
Amy counted on her fingers. ‘Day after tomorrow.’
‘Does he keep the ledger here, in the office maybe?’
Pursing her lips, Amy thought for a minute. ‘Nope, he takes it home. Matter o’ fact, I don’t think anyone’s ever seen inside Len’s ledger. He keeps it close to his chest.’
Making big eyes, she leaned forward, whispering as though sharing a secret. ‘Maybe he’s an axe-murderer. Oooh! Maybe it’s a list of them that he’s killed.’
Harry had to smile. ‘Will you give over, and tell me how I’m supposed to find out Saunders’ address?’
‘Well, I don’t know, do I? Who d’you think I am – Rosie of the Globe?’
Harry laughed out loud. ‘Who the devil is Rosie of the Globe when she’s at home?’
‘She’s the old gypsy on Yarmouth Pier … read my hand once. Said I was gonna marry a handsome man with a fortune.’ She winked at Harry. ‘That wouldn’t be you, would it?’
‘No, not unless you count a good head of hair and a wage that only lasts Friday to Friday.’
‘Naw!’ She made a face. ‘It can’t be you then.’ More’s the pity, she thought.
She gave a long, shivering sigh. ‘Trouble is, while I’m waiting for this handsome rich fella to come and rescue me, I’m getting older and uglier. So, by the time he turns up, he won’t give me a second glance.’ She giggled mischievously. ‘That’s when I’ll come after you.’
‘What!’ Harry feigned indignation. ‘Do you think I’ll settle for some ugly old woman who only wants me for second best? I don’t think so!’ He led her back to what was urgent. ‘That pub you mentioned?’
‘Yeah, what about it?’
‘Can you remember the name of it?’
‘I’m not sure.’ She twirled the strands of her hair, as she did when thinking hard. ‘I don’t know,’ she admitted, ‘but I can tell you whereabouts it is.’
‘Wonderful!’ Harry listened while she outlined the directions, ‘… onto the Boulevard and it’s right there in front of you,’ she finished.
By the time they parted company, Harry felt a whole lot better for having discovered the place where Saunders went to drink. Moreover, seeing Judy with his own eyes was so gratifying.
From where he was, she looked just as lovely as ever – older, yes of course, and maybe too skinny – but a wonderful, heart-warming sight nevertheless.
Chapter Nineteen
WHEN WORK WAS done, Harry’s first instinct was to go straight to the pub and ask questions, but then he thought of Kathleen, and how she and Tom had both seen the argument with Saunders. ‘I should go home first,’ he murmured. ‘Put their minds at rest.’
He was uneasy, itching to discover more about Saunders: where he worked, where he lived, how he and Judy got on together. Was it an idyllic marriage? Did he treat her well, or was she unhappy?
When all was said and done, she had tied herself to a bully like Saunders, though somehow Harry could not let himself believe that she actually loved him. But then for whatever reason, she had married him.
His fears for Judy were very real. After all, Saunders had come at him like a bull at a gate, convinced that he and Judy were having some sort of affair. So, if he could tackle another man like that, what was he really capable of? Would he treat Judy with the same contempt? Would he hurt her? Was he right now, at this very minute, torturing her with his warped and unfounded suspicions?
If he could only discover where she lived, he would at least be able to keep a watchful eye on Judy.
He glanced at his watch. It was ten past five. The pubs wouldn’t be open yet. Besides, he didn’t want to make too many waves. It would only call attention to himself. It was best if he went in as a customer, and got casually chatting to the barmaid. That way, people would not be so wary of him, and he might then pick up more information.
So he turned the car towards Fisher’s Hill and home, where he would spend some time playing with Tom, chat with Kathleen about events, then head back to Bedford and find the pub Amy had described in such detail.
The journey home did not take too long. It being a Saturday, most people were relaxing over tea, until either they got ready for the pub or the flicks, or even a twirl on the dance floor at the local Palais.
As for Harry, he had made his plans for the evening, and was looking forward to the chase.
‘Daddy! Daddy!’ Tom was watching for him. The minute Harry was parked and on his way up the garden path, Tom came rushing out of the house, to run straight into his arms. ‘Whoa!’ Harry laughed as he caught the boy and raised him high. ‘You’ll have us both upside down in the bushes if you’re not careful.’
Tom was so excited he couldn’t stop talking. ‘I’m sorry, Daddy, my balloon popped. I’ve been waiting to tell you. Kathleen said I could sit at the window and watch. I saw you coming up the street. We’ve got tea ready, and I’ve got my Wellington boots and everything!’
‘So, where’s Kathleen?’
‘In the kitchen. I told her you were here, and she said she won’t be a minute.’ He whispered in Harry’s ear. ‘Kathleen’s made jelly, but I’m not supposed to tell you because it’s a secret.’
‘Okay. I won’t tell, don’t worry.’ Kathleen always did make the most wonderful jelly, he thought, licking his lips.
At the door he put the boy on the floor. ‘Go and tell Kathleen I’m home,’ he said, chuckling contentedly when his son went off at the run.
He heard Tom yelling as he ran, ‘Daddy’s here! Kathleen, Daddy’s here!’ Then in a lower voice, ‘I never told him about the jelly.’
In the kitchen Kathleen had to smile to herself. ‘So, you never told him about the jelly, did you?’ she said, as he came rushing in through the door. ‘Sure you might as well have, the way you’re yelling and shouting!’
She came out to greet Harry, and though she did not mention the day’s incident with Phil Saunders, or her own observation regarding Judy and the bruises, each knew they had to talk, and plan, and look for the best way forward – but not in front of Tom, and not until they had eaten.
‘I expect you’re famished, are you?’ She set the table with a pot of tea, two cups, milk and sugar, with a glass of Kia-Ora for Tom.
‘It’s fish pie, chips and cauliflower.’ She grinned. ‘Oh, and we’ve got raspberry jelly with fruit for afterwards.’
‘Sounds perfect!’ Harry declared. ‘Just what the doctor ordered.’
Thrilled to have his daddy home, Tom went into a long excited explanation of how ‘Mr Butterworth from the post office said if we keep eating all the fish there’ll be none left in the sea. He told Kathleen he never eats fish, but he likes a crab now and then. Kathleen told him a crab bit her toe once when she went to Blackpool, and it really hurt.’
He made a grimace. ‘I don’t want a crab to bite my toe, Daddy. I just want to watch them swimming. Can we? Can we watch the crabs swimming?’
‘I don’t see why we can’t go crabbing one day. Yes, if that’s what you want, that’s what we’ll do.’ Harry finished his cup of tea and poured another, while topping up Kathleen’s at the same time. ‘In fact,’ he went on, ‘a day at the seaside might do us all good, but not just yet, son. Soon though. When I’ve got time to spare.’
A few minutes later, dinner was served.
‘You’re an excellent cook,’ Harry congratulated Kathleen. ‘Trouble is, me and Tom will be fat as elephants if you keep feeding us like this.’
‘So you’ll not be wanting jelly and fruit afterwards then?’ Kathleen winked aside at Tom.
‘Hey, I never said that!’ Harry exclaimed. ‘I’ll just have to walk a bit faster on the rounds and work it off.’
‘Ah, so you’re back on the rounds soon then, are ye?’
Harry nodded. ‘Next Friday, or so I’m told.’
‘You prefer that to being inside, don’t you?’
‘I do, yes, but we’ve got one man down with the flu, and another away on holiday. The sale was already scheduled, and it was every hand to the deck, so to speak.’
His quiet smile spoke volumes. ‘If I hadn’t been inside today, I would never have seen Judy.’
Tom was intrigued. ‘Is that the lady Kathleen was talking to? I like her, she’s nice. She found my balloon.’
He had more important things on his mind. ‘I’d like some more jelly,’ he piped up. Having already served him a whole dishful, Kathleen was not so sure.
‘Maybe just a little taste,’ she said. ‘We don’t want you having a tummy upset, now do we, eh?’
Tom thought a little was better than nothing at all. ‘All right then, yes.’ Impatient, he began bumping up and down in his chair.
‘So you want some more then?’
Tom nodded his head.
‘What was that?’ Kathleen wanted the ‘magic’ word. ‘I didn’t hear you?’
‘Yes, I’d like more jelly.’
This time Harry pulled him up. ‘And what do you say?’
Tom had a think. He had told them he wanted more jelly already; and he did what Kathleen wanted and said he would have just a little bit. So, what else should he say? ‘Oh, I know.’ He giggled. ‘I forgot, sorry, Kathleen. Please may I have some more jelly?’
‘Why, o’ course ye can.’ She gave him a swift cuddle. ‘Jelly coming up.’ Off she went to dish him out just the smallest portion.
Later, Kathleen cleared the table, with Harry’s help.
‘It was so good to see Judy today,’ Harry confided. ‘Was she well, d’you think? Did she say much? Is everything all right between her and Saunders?’
‘Why do you ask that?’ Kathleen had still not mentioned the bruises on Judy’s face. She wondered if Harry had seen them, after all. But then from that distance, it was hardly likely.
‘No particular reason,’ Harry answered. ‘It’s just that I would never have put her and Saunders together, never in a million years.’
Kathleen had little to say until the cutlery and dishes were in the sink and the table-cloth neatly folded.
When she saw Tom yawning, she decided, ‘Right, me boy. It’s an early night for you. You’ve had an exciting day, and you look bushed, so ye do.’ Taking him by the hand, she led him to Harry. ‘A kiss for your daddy, a qu
ick bath and pyjamas, then into bed.’
She was right about him being bushed. Soonever the boy was washed and dried and in his pyjamas, she put him to bed. Even before she got to the door, he was fast asleep. ‘Aw, bless yer little cotton socks,’ she murmured. ‘You’re just a babe, so ye are.’ Blowing him a kiss, she softly closed the door.
On arriving downstairs, she was amazed to see the dishes all washed and put away. ‘Well, I never.’ The smile on her face went from ear to ear. ‘That’s wonderful. Thank you, Harry, but you shouldn’t have.’
‘It’s the least I could do,’ he replied. ‘Tom and I would be in a poor situation if it wasn’t for you.’
‘Well, now you can go and sit down,’ she ordered. ‘I’ll make us a fresh brew and then I’ll join you. I have an idea there’s something on yer mind that won’t wait.’ She peeked at him through bright little eyes. ‘Am I right?’
Harry nodded. ‘You are, as usual.’
‘So, it’s to do with Judy, is it?’
‘Right again.’
‘Do like I said, and make yourself comfortable while I brew the tea, then we’ll talk. Young Tom’s out to the world, so it’ll be just the two of us.’
When Harry went away, deep in thought, Kathleen made the tea, which she then carried through to the sitting room. ‘Here we …’ She stopped in her tracks. Harry was nowhere to be seen, ‘Harry?’ When there was no answer, she called again, ‘HARRY?’
Still no answer.
‘Where the devil’s he gone?’ She wandered from room to room, and still there was no sign of him.
She set the tray down and went to the window, where she looked out, and there he was at the bottom of the garden, leaning over the fence and looking up to the skies.
Saddened by that lonely, troubled figure, she wondered where it would all end. ‘What’s gonna become of yer, eh?’ She was concerned that having seen Judy, he might have detected her deep unhappiness, just as she had done.
For a few minutes she stayed by the window, watching as he leaned on the fence, head bent and looking as though he had the whole world on his back.
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