by N'Tyse
“Go get some clothes on,” Sand told Ty. “I’ll wait down here.”
“Ooookkkaaayyy,” Ty sniffled. She struggled to walk to the stairs without her sore bones cracking and her entire body feeling as if she’d been hit by a car. All eyes were glued to her. A few of them with evil smiles spread across their unmade faces, clearly making it known that they thought the shit was funny and that she deserved every brutalizing blow. Ty moved at the pace of a crippled person as she climbed the stairs one at a time, using the iron railing for support so that she wouldn’t drop to her knees or fall to her face. Her ribs hurt so badly and the excruciating pain that shot around her pussy felt like rape to another degree. With every step she took, rampaging anger soared through her body, but she couldn’t react, at least not yet.
Where Ty was physically incapable, her psyche was not. She was on some flip mode killer type shit. If she had a gun she’d blow the back of Chyna’s brains out and feed it to the first hungry stray dog that came her way. Never had she felt so humiliated. Never had she felt like murdering a bitch. She cut her eyes at each and every last one of Chyna’s girls as she passed them by. All of them who had watched her get her ass whooped and did nothing.
“What the fuck you laughing at?” she charged at one of them. But no one was stupid enough to say anything. “Fuck every last one of y’all. You, you, you, and you, bitch!” Ty spat angrily. She made her way into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. She was gonna get at every last one of them in due time.
S
7
and pulled up alongside the fire lane in front of Parkland’s emergency room. She kept her hand on the steering wheel and made no attempt to move. “Aren’t you getting out?” Ty asked before opening the passenger door.
“Naw, I think it’s best I come back and get you. I don’t want no part of this shit.”
“I’m not going in there by myself. Look at me!” Ty pointed to her battered face as she wiggled her neck around.
“I see you,” Sand said, “and you need stitches, or else you gonna be walking around here with a hole in your face.”
Ty shook her head again. “I don’t wanna go in there by myself. Please, Sand. Come with me,” she begged.
“Look, I’m not about to get involved with all that. Now we here. Go do what you gotta do?”
“I’m not going in then,” Ty responded, copping an attitude.
Sand looked around then back at Ty. “Excuse me?” She started digging in her ears, determined to clear out the wax that was obviously causing her hearing dysfunction. “What was that? I didn’t hear you,” she said, leaning further into Ty.
“I said … I’m not going in there. Better yet, take me to my kinfolk’s house.”
Sand was shaking her head. “Naw, naw. See that wasn’t the plan. You gon’ either go in there or I’m taking you back where I got you. A’int shit you yapping about going down on my watch.”
Ty threw her hands up. “I’m not going in there by myself. What part aren’t you getting?”
Sand had to catch herself. Before the counseling, before the countdown sessions, before the long walks of bringing herself to calm down, her temper was off the charts. She had scared Rene so bad one time that she wouldn’t come out of the bathroom for three straight hours, and when she finally did, she threatened to leave Sand if she ever did anything like it again. Although Sand never laid her hands on Rene, she couldn’t fight back the anger that consumed her when they would have their moments. That would be when walls got punched in, dishes got broken, pictures got ripped, and whatever nearby got smashed. Her temper was always the reason for having to replace a broken picture frame or having to buy a new lamp. So now, with Ty she was on the brink of losing it, and she barely even knew her ass.
“Look, ma,” Sand paused. “I ain’t got time for no extra bullshit tonight, a’ight?” I already got enough shit on my mind. She slapped her hands together and interlocked her fingers. “Better yet, fuck it! I’m taking you back to Chyna. She can deal with it ’cause I ain’t the one.”
“Uh-uh.” Ty reached for the door handle and as soon as she did, Sand locked it. “Let me out this motherfuckin’ car! I ain’t going back there,” Ty yelled in a fit. “Take me home!”
Sand threw the car in drive and slammed on the accelerator, burning up the asphalt in the emergency room’s parking lot. She didn’t slow down and she didn’t stop for the pedestrians that stepped off the curb right out in front of her, only to be sent back running for the sidewalk. She gunned the engine heading back to Chyna’s. As she changed lanes, she heard a loud siren come on.
“Shit!” Sand cursed once the flashing red and blue lights pulled right behind them.
Ty looked in the rear. “Oh my God! I can’t go to jail. You got a license, right?”
“Chill with that shit for a minute. Let me think.”
“I can’t go to jail,” Ty panicked.
“Listen, just let me talk. I got this.” Sand could feel her forehead perspiring as well as the tingling of her armpits. She was nervous as ever. She lowered the window once the officer approached her side of the car. She squint her eyes as he pointed the flashlight directly in her face. “How you doing there, officer?” she waved. “Everything a’ight?”
Ty continued to stare straight ahead as if she had been ordered to do so, trying her best to not make any sudden moves.
“Pop the trunk,” the officer instructed.
As nervous as Sand was, her fingers fumbled underneath and around the steering wheel, trying to locate the trunk release.
“It’s right here,” Ty said through clenched teeth. She was praying he’d let them go with a warning.
Sand pushed the button and the trunk instantly popped open. She tried to appear unnerved. The officer walked back to the rear of the car when another set of headlights pulled in behind him. Sand’s breathing became labored as she watched from the rearview as something was being lowered into the back of Chyna’s trunk. She was trying to keep calm, but Ty wasn’t making the situation any better as she rocked back and forth while sucking on her thumb like a child.
“Oh God. What they doing?” Ty asked after they both felt the car rock and a loud thud hit the floor of the trunk. “I can’t take it no more. I need to call my mama.”
“Ty, give it a fuckin’ rest. Shit!”
Ty faced Sand. She couldn’t stop her lips from trembling. “You don’t understand. I can’t go to jail. That’s not a place for me,” she wailed hysterically.
“Ssshh. Ain’t nobody going to jail. Just keep cool, okay?” Sand promised, rubbing Ty’s shoulders. She was good at hiding her feelings, but she was really just as scared as Ty was. She couldn’t go to jail either, not tonight.
The officer slammed the trunk closed and knocked on the hood two times. When Sand looked in the rearview mirror, all the men she’d seen hovering around behind them before were getting back into their cars and pulling away. She waited a few minutes. The patrol car drove around, half saluting her as he pulled off and proceeded through the traffic light.
After a moment of silence, Ty decided she’d speak up. “So, you ain’t wondering what they done dumped in the trunk?”
Sand released the car out of park. Her right hand navigated the steering wheel while the left, stroked her chin. It was a habit she had when she was bothered or just contemplating things. “I don’t wanna know what’s back there. And as far as I’m concerned, it ain’t none of my business.” She kept straight, looking around for anything suspicious. She obeyed the 35 m.p.h. speed limit sign until she finally came up on the freeway.
“You the one driving this motherfucka. It could be a bomb for all we know, and you ain’t worried?” Ty asked her. “Well I am,” she said before Sand could respond. “Stop the car!”
“We ain’t stopping, Ty. If you wanna know what’s in the fucking trunk,” Sand raised her voice above her norm, “then get Chyna to show you what’s in her damn trunk, okay? ’Cause I ain’t doing it.”
; Ty suddenly got quiet. The wheels in her head were spinning. “You owe her for something?” she asked out of nowhere. “You came short on some weight? What is it?” she pressed, ruffling more than Sand’s feathers. “Oh wait, I bet I know,” she smiled, lifting her finger as if she was in somebody’s classroom. “You fuckin’ one of her bitches,” she said, already convinced. “That’s it, ain’t it? You feel obligated to stick around ’cause ya bitch caught up. I ain’t mad,” she chuckled, rolling her neck. “Chyna will take it however she can get it. I’m surprised she ain’t got your ass out here sliding up and down poles, working sex parties and shit. ’Cause you look like you’d bring in a killin’. I bet bitches would drop big dollars to fuck you,” Ty quipped. “Yeah, just wait, though. It won’t be long before she sniffs your ass out.”
Sand cut and rolled her eyes over her shoulders. “You sure gotta lot of fuckin’ lip for somebody that just got they ass beat. Twice.”
“I’m just saying. You slaving around her like you owe her for something. Likeyouher bitch,” she said, getting back to her original point. Her head bobbled, showing straight attitude, but apparently she was prepared to go down in honor because her mouth was on the verge of getting her face reconstructed, once again.
Sand slammed on the brakes and sent Ty’s body jerking forward. “See, that’s why your face busted in now. It’s your mouth!”
Ty was taken aback. She couldn’t believe Sand had the audacity to come at her like that, all because she was speaking true shit that she didn’t wanna hear.
Sand reversed her breaths. “Look, you don’t know me. Don’t twist me up. I’m not in this shit because I wanna be. I’m doing this to keep someone else from getting caught up. Chyna don’t fuckin’ scare me, ya dig!”
Ty sat there quiet, witnessing the other side of Sand wake up.
“I’ve dealt with scarier people in my past,” Sand enlightened Ty, looking her over.
Ty gasped for air, exchanging faces with Sand. She shifted in her seat from the discomfort in her pelvic area. “We have the right to know what’s back there,” she argued. Her perfectly arched eyebrows folded in as she managed the pain soaring through her insides.
As Sand thought about it, Ty was making perfect sense. Besides, she didn’t want to be held accountable for something she knew nothing about. That’s how people got caught up sometimes, being in the wrong place at the wrong time. She was already facing similar drama with Jasmine’s murder. A murder she was being blackmailed for by Chyna. All Jasmine had been was an old fling. Now she was a concrete example of what Chyna and her ruthless crew was capable of. Sand didn’t want what happened to Jasmine to happen to Rene. She would never be able to forgive herself. So she agreed to work for Chyna in exchange for her freedom and an insurance policy for Rene.
Sand finally came to an agreement. “If you so concerned about what’s in the trunk, you go look for yourself,” she said as she pulled the car over on the side of the freeway and placed it in park.
Ty sat still. She looked in the side view mirror as well as behind them. The coast was clear. She gave an unsure look before sliding her hands across the cold, shiny door handle.
Sand popped the trunk once again, infuriated, but just as curious to know what was back there as Ty was. She adjusted the mirrors and pushed in the button to turn on the hazard lights.
Ty eased out of the car, leaving her door slightly open in case she needed to go running back. Her insides felt as if they were going to fall out of her as she limped toward the back of the Lexus. She tried her best to avoid the caked up mud and instead stepped right in a huge puddle of muddy water, splashing her fresh bathed legs. “Dammitt,” she hissed. Cars constantly flew past them as if the roads weren’t wet at all, nearly sending her flying. And she felt like a fool for wearing thigh high, cut-off shorts and a shirt with no sleeves as cool as it was out.
Both scared and anxious, she lifted the trunk cautiously with the tip of her fingers until what was inside became visible. She reached in and began unzipping the gym bag slowly. Her eyes widened and she covered her mouth with both hands, backing away from the car in disbelief. “Oh my God. Sand!” she called out. She sucked in small amounts of air, and then found herself stuttering to complete her sentence. “Come, come see this shit!” Her mind was on one thing and one thing only.
As Sand rushed to the back of the car, Ty’s face said it all. Sand took one glimpse at what had Ty’s eyes about to pop out. Neither one of them could believe what they were seeing. Sand quickly slammed the trunk closed. Looking around and over their shoulders, “Come on. We gotta get outta here.”
Ty nodded. She understood. And for once, they were on one accord.
8
Rene leaned over into the sink, cupping her hands under the running faucet. She splashed the warm water on her face. She had been in the kids’ bathroom for over an hour without realizing it, trying her damndest to figure out where in life she went wrong. Just when she thought she understood her purpose, she came to the realization that she didn’t. She wondered if all this was a hoax, just to see how far she would go or how long she would fight for real love. She even rationalized all the bad shit that kept happening to her as being some sort of sick curse. Maybe it was something she had done as a child that was just catching up to her now. Or maybe it was her mother who cursed her. Rene didn’t know why life dealt her the hand she was given, but what she did know was that the shit wasn’t fair.
Tossing around every justified reason for her bad luck, Rene cried all night and into the morning until she emptied her tear ducts dry. Every ounce of troubling regret reminded her that it would all be worth it in the end. She had to see Chyna’s plan through if she wanted to ever see her girlfriend again. Rene knew it wouldn’t be much longer. All she had to do was be patient and play her position. She missed Sand. She missed her so damned much that she made herself sick every time the possibility of not seeing her again entered her mind. She longed for her touch, her kiss, and compassion.
Whenever Rene stopped long enough to close her eyes and reminisce, she could almost feel Sand’s fingers climbing up and down her body. She missed their love making and those sexfilled nights of passion with them holding hands as they grinded to the rhythm of their headboard slapping against the wall. It was music to their ears. It was art. It was romance.
After lathering her hands, Rene reached for one of the Spider Man hand towels that were neatly stacked on the linen shelf behind her, and blotted her face with it.
“Rene, honey, you all right up in there?” Shun asked, tapping at the bathroom door.
Rene hadn’t realized that Shun was awake. “Yeah, um,” she cleared her throat then fixed her face and swung the door open. “I’m good,” she lied, fiddling with her clothes. She wore denim skinny jeans and a fuchsia tank with a gold rat posing across the front. Underneath it were the words, ‘GOT CHEESE?’ Her hair was disheveled and that wasn’t the only thing she was careless about this morning. She had on one white sock and a faded red one.
The left side of Shun’s face had been pressed against the door just before Rene yanked it open. Shun wasn’t the least bit surprised to find Rene up at the crack of dawn, crying her eyes out again. For the past few weeks Rene had been waking up in the wee hours of the morning, some days as early as five, moping around as if something was bothering her. Always being known as the nosy one, Shun decided this time she’d let Rene come to her on her own without forcing the issue, the way she’d done so many times in the past. Their friendship was just starting to get back on track since all the mayhem that went down with Rene and Vincent, and she wasn’t going to give her friend any reason whatsoever to not trust and confide in her again. She’d made that mistake and she felt horrible every time she heard Rene crying late at night, feeling deeply that she was partly to blame.
“I’m gon’ whip up some pancakes before the boys wake up. You want me to throw you on some?” Shun asked her friend.
Rene forced a smile. “No, I’m not really th
at hungry,” she said, leaning the back of her head against the door. She rubbed at the shooting pain that had suddenly found residence in her left shoulder, debating on if she felt up to going to her yoga class this morning. She looked at Shun who was wearing a long red housecoat with holes and permanent grease spots too big to go unnoticed. Shun’s plastic Jheri curl cap was puffed out at the top and she had paper towels tucked around the edges to prevent curl activator from dripping down into her face.
Shun was Rene’s best friend, but Rene saw her more as the family she never had. When Rene found herself struggling with her differences between loving men and women, she confided in Shun, but only to have her agree with all the others that criticized her open sexuality. She and Sand would have heated arguments over how Shun was just trying to tear them apart and Sand couldn’t stand Shun as far as she could see her, and didn’t have a problem making sure Rene knew that. “She ain’t no real friend,” Sand would holler. “She just using you to watch them damn kids while she go gamble them welfare checks off. Shun ain’t nothing but a hypocrite and you know that shit. She won’t even accept the fact that you gay. You see how she act when she come around me. Like I make her uncomfortable and shit. Talking about I’m fucking yo’ head up. Where she get off coming at me like that? I can handle myself, Rene, but that’s your girl! You supposed to check her ass. I don’t even see why you fucks with her!”
With all the convincing Sand tried to do, Rene refused to believe that Shun meant any harm to their relationship. And it wasn’t long before Shun’s speeches soon began to make sense and have an effect on Rene. She began seeing the light Shun spread upon her for herself, and decided that life with a woman was not what she envisioned for herself. She wanted a man, any form, any fashion, just as long as his birth certificate read boy or male child. She felt she needed to be a part of something she didn’t have to explain—something that she didn’t have to be ashamed of admitting about herself. Rene wanted someone she could show off to the world without being questioned about her beliefs when folks saw the two of them together, holding hands. But most of all, she wanted the family she never had. She dreamed of one day becoming a mother.