by Kait Nolan
“That doesn’t seem so surprising.”
“No. And it might’ve been fine under other circumstances. But she…wasn’t as discriminating as she should’ve been. She had this complete fairy tale with my dad. He swept her off her feet and made it so she never had to deal with any harsh realities. And she was naive enough to believe that most men were as good as he was. So from the time I was about seven, there was this parade of men through our lives as she tried to find the stability she was missing. Some stuck longer than others. But it wasn’t until I was thirteen that one of them got serious and asked her to marry him.”
To buy a moment and gather her thoughts, she dipped her hand into a jar of moisturizer and began to smooth it over her skin. “I didn’t like Cliff from the beginning. He didn’t say or do anything wrong. I just had a…vibe. Mom thought I was just being difficult and that I wasn’t going to like anybody who wasn’t Daddy. I’ll admit there was some truth to that. But this was something else. Not that it mattered. She said yes, and he moved in.”
Autumn stayed silent, curling a hand around Riley’s shoulder.
“He didn’t do anything overt. Nothing I could point to and say. ‘This. This is not okay.’ He just made me uneasy. He…watched me.” Even thinking about it now made her skin crawl. Riley waved to her body. “This developed early. I was already catching harassment from the boys at school, and because there wasn’t anything specific, when I mentioned it to my mother, she convinced me that I was overly sensitive and imagining things.”
Autumn winced.
“Anyway, Molly and John ended up throwing an engagement barbeque for Mom and Cliff. Mom was so damned happy.” It hurt to remember that.
“I don’t know what Liam saw. It’s odd, I guess, that I never asked him. But before we left that night, he cornered me and told me to leave my bedroom window unlocked, that he was coming by later. It was such a strange thing and he was so deadly serious, even at that age, that it didn’t occur to me to ask why or to do any different. So when he came later, I let him in. He told me he was sleeping under my bed, and even though he didn’t ask any questions or offer any explanations, I knew that he knew. That he’d somehow sensed the creeper vibe.”
“Under your bed?”
“It was on risers and he wasn’t as burly then. In case he was wrong, he didn’t want me getting in trouble.”
“So he stayed. What happened?”
“Nothing. I thought that would be the end of it. But Liam wasn’t willing to let it go that easily. Bless him, he slept under my bed for a week, sneaking out every morning before breakfast. The first night was…weird. I mean, my best friend’s big brother was sleeping under my bed. After that, though, we talked. Late into the night. Stupid, inconsequential stuff at first. I think he was trying to put me at ease. I don’t know that we’d ever had any real conversations before that.” And those talks had given her a whole different view of Liam.
“The weekend after the party was some anniversary or celebration or other. Cliff brought home a bottle of wine to drink with dinner. My mom’s never had a head for alcohol, but he just kept refilling her glass, until she’d had about three-quarters of the bottle. She passed out. And he came after me.”
Autumn had gone pale. “Oh Riley.”
Riley shook her head. “He never got to put a hand on me. Liam was on him the moment he unbuckled his belt.” She closed her eyes, remembering the thud of fists on flesh as Liam beat Cliff with a terrifying precision and efficiency. “Liam made sure that he left. Packed his stuff and got him out of the house before my mother ever woke up. And he made it clear that if Cliff came back, came anywhere within a hundred feet of me, he wouldn’t stop with a beating.”
“Jesus. What did your mother say?”
“Nothing. She never knew. As far as she’s aware, he decided he couldn’t handle an insta-family and bailed on her.”
“Riley! How could y’all not tell her? What if she brought someone else into the house?”
“Because she didn’t believe me when I tried to talk to her about it before.”
“You had Liam as witness.”
“I had Liam as a vigilante who beat her fiancé to within an inch of his life. I was terrified he’d get into trouble over it. So we didn’t tell anybody. Ever.”
“Didn’t you worry it could happen again?”
“Of course. I was scared to death of every guy my mom went out with for a long time after that. But Liam looked out for me, taught me self defense, until he was sure I could take down a guy twice my size. He made me feel…safe. He was the first guy I could depend on since my dad. Which, actually, isn’t accurate. I could absolutely depend on his dad, too.”
“But it wasn’t the same.” Yeah Autumn would get that, given her relationship with Judd and his family.
“No. It wasn’t the same. And then he enlisted. Without telling me. I found out from Wynne. And I couldn’t even say a word about how I felt about it because she didn’t know he and I were…whatever the hell we were.”
“You must’ve been devastated.”
Riley shook her head, though she had been. “I was furious. Looking back, I didn’t have a right to be. Not really.” She’d thought a lot about that over the years. “We weren’t friends like you and Judd. We weren’t…anything, really. And just because he saved me from a would-be rapist once, didn’t make me his lifetime responsibility.”
“I’m sure none of that made you feel any less abandoned.”
“True enough,” she admitted. “But I wasn’t mad because of that, so much as terrified that he’d be killed like my daddy. I was so angry that he deliberately put himself in harm’s way, I wrote him this letter and shoved it into his bag before he left for boot camp.”
“What did it say?”
Riley shook her head. Some details were better kept to herself. “A lot of things I had no right to say. A lot of things I’m ashamed of and embarrassed about.”
“So you’ve been avoiding him all this time because of a letter you wrote him when you were fifteen and upset?”
“In a nutshell? Yes.”
Autumn paused, an eyeliner pencil in her hand. “And here I thought it was because you have the hots for him.”
Riley barked out a laugh. “That complication didn’t get added to the equation until he came home for good.”
“Well, we’re going to dial up the complication on his side tonight.” She leaned in, stroking the pencil along Riley’s eyelid.
“Are you sure about this? I feel like a painted lady.”
Autumn continued shading Riley’s eyes. “Something you may not know about Liam—he has a deep love of old movies. So this vintage look you’re rocking is totally going to work for him. You are exactly his type.”
“I don’t want to manipulate him.”
“Playing up your God-given assets isn’t manipulation. Never forget, with a positive attitude and a great pair of ta-tas, you can do anything. And you, darling, have a fabulous rack.”
Riley snorted.
“There.” Autumn laid down the eyeliner and surveyed her handiwork. “One of my better efforts, if I do say so myself.”
Riley started to get up
“No. No, you have to see the entire package. C’mon, get dressed. I raided your underwear drawer and pulled out some sexy lingerie to go with the dress.”
“Why? I’m not sleeping with him.”
“Well, of course not. Although there’d be nothing wrong with it if you did. But sexy lingerie is a confidence booster. You’ll know you’re wearing it, and it’ll impact how you carry yourself. Plus he’s going to wonder what’s under that dress, and it makes it all the better if it really is something awesome. And in the event you change your mind and go for the hot monkey sex, you’re set.”
The idea of Liam peeling her out of the dress to find thigh highs and a garter belt almost had her hitting the shower again for a cold one, but the clock was ticking and she didn’t have time. Not to mention Autumn would murder her for ruin
ing all her hard work.
Only when she was dressed and zipped and had stepped into the sky high heels did Autumn let her near the mirror on the back of the closet door.
“Holy crap.” Riley stared at the reflection and barely recognized herself. “You’re like my own personal fairy godmother. I owe you.”
Autumn grinned. “You can pay me in details when you get back.”
The doorbell rang. Riley rode out the quick clutch in her belly. She let out a long, slow breath. “Pray for me.”
“Oh, I will.”
Riley gave her a quick hug before picking up her purse.
“Promise me something,” Autumn said, suddenly serious.
“What?”
“Don’t waste this opportunity. If you do, you’ll always wonder.” Without giving Riley a chance to actually answer, Autumn shoved her toward the stairs. “I’ll lock up after you’re gone. No reason for him to know I was involved.”
“Thank you!”
“And Riley?”
She paused at the bottom of the stairs. “What?”
“Condoms in your purse, just in case!”
Oh God.
Bracing herself, she went to answer the door. One way or another, tonight was bound to change things. For better or worse.
~*~
The M16/M4 Carbine rifle is a 5.56mm, magazine-fed, gas-operated, air-cooled, shoulder-fired weapon that can be fired either in automatic three-round bursts or semiautomatic single shots…
Liam continued his mental recitation of the characteristics and components of Marine weaponry. It was the only thing keeping him from embarrassing them both with his reaction to Riley’s appearance. But he couldn’t stop himself from giving her another appreciative once over as she passed by him into the air-conditioned restaurant.
Her toenails were scarlet, peeking out through the toes of strappy black shoes with sky high heels. His gaze skimmed up shapely legs to the hem of her little black dress. But it wasn’t just any little black dress. It was the empress of little black dresses, elegant and form-fitting. And, oh God, what a form. A perfect hourglass, crowned with the most magnificent breasts, framed by a plunging neckline. But it was her face that had glued his tongue to the roof of his mouth since she walked out. Her full lips matched her toes, and her eyes looked almost electric with the smoky shadow and impossibly long lashes. If she’d stepped directly out of one of his erotic dreams, she couldn’t have looked more perfect
But in the ensuing forty-five minutes, while he’d been busy reminding himself of every single reason why he shouldn’t just blow dinner and find the nearest hotel to show her exactly what kind of fantasies that dress inspired, the confidence and vivacity she’d greeted him with had evaporated, leaving her obviously ill-at-ease. He was pretty sure it had something to do with a text she’d gotten on the drive. At least, he hoped it was the text and not him and his less-than-brotherly reaction. Surely she didn’t think of him as a brother if she’d worn that.
Her hands were clamped around her purse as if she expected it to get snatched. If she’d been any other woman, he’d have put an arm around her, flirted until she relaxed. But Riley wasn’t any other woman, and Liam wasn’t sure exactly what tonight was about. The last thing he wanted to do was misread the situation and screw things up.
Inconsequential small talk got them through being seated and placing their drink orders.
As the waiter scurried away, Liam sat back and sent her a smile that he hoped came off as friendly rather than I am the Big Bad Wolf, and I want to eat you up. “You look really amazing, by the way.”
Her cheeks pinked. “Thanks. I spend most of my time in a lab coat or yoga pants, so it seemed a shame not to take advantage of the ambiance to wear something more fun.” She went back to hiding behind the menu.
Liam didn’t think she meant the kind of fun he’d been imagining.
Once they’d placed their orders, he picked up his beer and opted for a full frontal assault of the elephant in the room. “I owe you an apology.”
Distress flickered across that beautiful face. She shook her head. “You don’t owe me anything, Liam.”
When she began to pluck at a tiny, loose thread in the tablecloth, he covered her hand with his. He said nothing, waiting until she lifted her gaze to his. “I abandoned you, and I’m sorry.”
At the faint jerk of her fingers, Liam tightened his hold. In twelve years, neither of them had ever spoken of the letter she’d left in his bag the day he left for boot camp. But he was tired of having the past lingering like some noxious smoke between them
Riley ducked her head and winced. “I’m ashamed of the things I said.”
“You weren’t wrong. I didn’t think about you when I made the decision to enlist.”
“And you shouldn’t have. One noble act didn’t make me your responsibility for life, and it wasn’t fair of me to say anything to you that implied that I was. It wasn’t fair of me to try and make you feel guilty just because I was afraid. I’m the one who should apologize.”
Liam frowned. “You said you hadn’t had cause to pull out that self defense since then.”
“I haven’t. I wasn’t afraid for me. I was afraid for you. I was furious that you’d chosen a path that was going to put you in constant danger and terrified that you’d be killed in action like my father. I barely remember him, but I remember life was good and stable when he was alive. I didn’t have a lot of stability after that. Not until you, anyway. I knew I could count on you, and that was an exceptionally rare thing in my world.”
Had he realized that at eighteen? His motivations for protecting her had nothing to do with providing stability. She’d been so self-contained, so together. It never occurred to him that she’d looked to him for more than physical protection. Or maybe he hadn’t wanted to believe she needed more than that because it made his decision to walk away easier.
“All the more reason I should’ve at least talked to you about it before I enlisted.”
“Why did you enlist? I’ve never asked. Why the Marines?” She sat back and he regretted the loss of her touch.
“I wanted to be selfish.”
Riley blinked. “I don’t think anyone would ever think that joining the military is a selfish act, so you’ll have to explain that one.”
He’d never talked about this. “Did Wynne ever tell you how Jack and I came to the family?”
“Other than the fact that all four of you are adopted and that you and Jack are actual blood brothers, no.”
“I was eight when we came to Molly and John. Jack was six. They were our tenth foster home. We’d been in the system for three years by then, and it was a damned miracle we hadn’t been split up. I was what they euphemistically referred to as a ‘difficult child,’ which really meant that I was a smart ass little punk with no respect for authority.” Liam jerked a shoulder. “None of the so-called authority figures we were exposed to deserved any respect, as far as I could see. I learned quick that nobody was going to watch out for us but us. So I had one mission: Protect my brother—no matter what.”
“From what?”
“Anything. Everything. Bullies. Negligence. Abusers. Child predators.”
“That’s how you knew about Cliff,” she said softly.
“Yeah. That’s how I knew. We didn’t have a pretty life before we got to John and Molly. But I was the big brother, so it was my job to take care of him.”
Riley sipped at her wine. “That didn’t change once you became a Montgomery.”
“No. We were some of the lucky ones. Our parents are amazing. But I could never just turn that part of me off. So the mission expanded to cover Wynne and Cruz. Then you.”
“I imagine that was a heavy responsibility.”
“That’s just it. It wasn’t. Life here was good. It wasn’t like I had the same level of danger to look out for here as I did when Jack and I were in the system on our own. But I’d been in this constant state of threat assessment since I was five. Having that…a
wareness of the world and not doing anything with it was driving me slowly nuts. I didn’t talk about it. Mom would’ve worried that she’d done something wrong, and it wasn’t anything to do with her or Dad. It’s just how how I was built.”
He took a long swallow of his beer, surprised to find his throat dry. “Everybody thought I’d work for Dad at the garage. I liked the work, and I was good at it. But the idea of staying here, locked into that life, felt like watching a cage door close. My whole life, up to that point, felt like it had been lived for somebody else. And I just—”
“Needed out?” There was no censure in her eyes, and he realized she got it.
“Yeah. Everybody I cared about was safe, so for the first time in my life, I was free to make a decision just for me. Everything that made me not quite fit in this world made me a born fighter. So I enlisted and traded responsibility for one family for the responsibility of another, one where that mission-oriented focus is an asset and there’s always somebody else to look out for.”
“You miss it.”
“Yes and no.” He grimaced. “I’m not at all sure I’m cut out to be a civilian.”
“Is it the structure you miss? The people?”
Most folks would’ve asked if he missed the action. But, as usual, Riley had a way of jumping past the obvious.
“Some of both. In some ways, life in the military is a lot more black and white than the everyday. There are always orders, hierarchy. And very clear lines that you don’t cross.”
His gaze was drawn to the thumb she stroked along the stem of her wineglass, and he wondered how it would feel along his skin.
Focus, Montgomery.
“Are the lines so blurry in civilian life?”
He thought of how much he wanted to touch her, how much he wanted her to be something other than his sister’s best friend, and took a pull on his beer. “On some things, yes. Part of it’s just that they gave me a place. I knew where I fit there.” He sure as hell didn’t know who he was if not a Marine.
“And you haven’t quite figured out where you fit now that you’re back. There’s not a specific place outlined and waiting.”