BEYOND ALL REASON

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BEYOND ALL REASON Page 26

by Judith Duncan

Kate was so shaky, she wasn't sure how she made it across the room and into his arms, but she did, and Tanner made a choked sound and crushed her roughly against him, holding on to her as if she were his next breath. His chest heaved, and he clutched her tighter, his voice raw and shaking. "Ah – God, Katie," he whispered raggedly. "What took you so long?"

  Burying her face against his neck, Kate clung to him with every ounce of strength she had, holding on to him like salvation. She had come home. God, she had finally come home.

  * * *

  Night sounds filtered in through the open windows, and the clock on the bedside table changed from 11:04 to 11:05. Kate shifted her head on Tanner's shoulder, then slowly smoothed her hand up the thick wall of his chest. He trapped her wandering hand beneath his, and she smiled, finding it incongruous that someone as big and as male as Tanner should be ticklish. He caressed her hand, then raised it to his mouth and kissed her fingertips. "What are you smiling about?"

  Rising up on one elbow, she looked down at him, glad that she could see his face in the muted illumination from the yard light. "I'm smiling because I'm happy, and I'm smiling because I'm glad to be home. And I'm smiling because that awful gray linoleum is gone." She leaned down and kissed him on the mouth, running her freed hand back up his rib cage. "And I'm smiling because you're ticklish," she whispered against his mouth.

  He gave a huff of laughter and caught her hand again, holding it secure against his chest. "Stop it, or I'll throw you on the floor."

  Shaking back her hair, she grinned down at him. "No, you won't." They had made love three times in the past three hours, but they had also talked. He'd told her about Burt's amazing progress, about how he'd felt when he got the package she'd sent herself in the mail, about starting on the floor the night he got back from Calgary.

  She'd told him everything that had happened while she was gone, told him that her divorce was final – she'd also told him about the talks she'd had with the boys, including the one about them sleeping together. The only thing she hadn't told him was that she was pregnant. And there had been a reason for that. She'd wanted everything else out of the way. She wanted that bit of news to be the beginning of their new life together, not tied in with the finalization of her old. She wanted it to be special, and it seemed right that she should tell him here in this bed.

  Her expression growing sober, she stroked his cheekbone with her thumb, a funny little flutter unfolding in her chest. "How do you feel about being a father, Tanner?" she asked quietly.

  He smoothed back her hair, then met her gaze, his expression solemn. "I'll do my best, Kate," he answered, his tone husky. "It might take us a while to sort things out, but we'll make it work."

  Kate smiled; she knew that he would do his best for the boys. She'd seen that already. She leaned down and kissed him again. "That's not what I meant," she chastised gently. "I mean as in baby. Like around the first part of April."

  He didn't move a muscle. He stared up at her, and when she smiled, he closed his eyes and hugged her fiercely against him. She felt his chest expand, and he tightened his arms even more. "Are you sure?"

  She chuckled. "Dead sure. And I've got the morning sickness to prove it."

  He didn't say anything; he just held her like that, and Kate could feel his heart hammering beneath her hand. She knew he needed time to assimilate the news, to digest it. She gave him a few moments, then she kissed the curve of his neck, and Tanner inhaled deeply. Catching her under the chin, he lifted her head and stared into her eyes. "Are you okay with this?" he whispered, his gaze solemn.

  She smiled and touched his mouth. "Thrilled to bits is more like it."

  He closed his eyes and drew her head back down against his shoulder, his fingers tangled in her hair. She felt him swallow; then he pressed a kiss against her forehead. "So am I," he whispered huskily. "God, so am I." His chest expanded again, and he tightened his hold on her. He held her for a long, long time – just holding her, as if he couldn't let go, as if he needed to hold her more than he needed anything else.

  Finally he eased his hold and raised her face, giving her a soft searching kiss. Releasing his breath in a long sigh, he looked up at her, the expression in his eyes making her heart contract.

  "I love you, Katie," he whispered, his voice uneven.

  Kate held his solemn gaze for a moment, her heart so full that it was almost too much to contain, the last knot of uncertainty unfolding in her in a joyous rush. Closing her eyes against the sudden swell of emotion, she hugged him hard, her happiness absolute and complete. Swallowing against the ache in her throat, she cradled his head tightly against her. "God, but I love you, Tanner. So much."

  He hugged her back, his hand buried deep in the tangle of her hair. He didn't say anything for the longest time; then he raised his head and looked at her, his eyes dark with emotion. "We're going to have a good life together, Katie," he said, his voice uneven. "I'm going to do everything in my power to see that we do."

  Kate smiled and took his face between her hands, lightly stroking his high cheekbones with her thumbs. Then she lifted her head and brushed a soft kiss against his lips. "I know we are," she whispered against his mouth. And she did.

  In fact, she was beginning to think she'd known it right from the very first.

  * * *

  Epilogue

  «^

  Kate sat on the top step of the veranda, her knees drawn up, watching the sunrise unfold in the eastern sky. It had been a year ago today that she had come to the Circle S. A year of changes, a year of new beginnings, a year of putting down roots.

  Resting her chin on her knees, she looked out across the yard, smiling to herself. She and Cyrus had practically torn it apart last fall, with considerable help from Rita, and he had done an enormous amount of work in it this year, thanks to an early spring. It was going to be beautiful, providing they could keep Burt away from the flower beds with the riding lawn mower.

  Everything had been mowed to within an inch of its life since Tanner had brought the machine home. Along the lane, around the outbuildings, between the trees – there wasn't a blade of grass that got longer than four inches before Burt was out there roaring around. Cyrus said he was worse than a flock of sheep. And the boys were right there with him, finding new vistas for him to mow.

  She grinned to herself, thinking about Cyrus and Burt. She hoped that they would behave themselves when her parents came for spring branding, but she didn't hold out much hope of that. Her mother laughed at everything they did, which made them worse, and her father was just as bad as they were.

  She'd found that out at Christmas. They'd had a heavy snowfall a week before, just after her folks and Chase had arrived, and Burt had suddenly got it in his head that it would be a terrible, terrible thing if the boys couldn't have a Christmas hayride. So he'd bought a matched set of champion Clydesdales off a neighbor who bred them, along with the show harnesses and bells, an old-fashioned sleigh and a hayrack, then insisted she invite some of the neighbors over for Boxing Day. Midway through the afternoon, Chase and Rita found some old inner tubes in the shop, which they inflated and tied on behind the sleigh. The trick was to ride them standing up – waterskiing-style – and Kate couldn't remember laughing as much as she had that afternoon. It had been the best Christmas.

  Of course, now they were stuck with the team of Clydesdales. Now Burt and Cyrus were dropping hints about the big draft horses, arguing about heavy horse pulls, and Kate had found a breeder's catalog in Burt's room. Burt told her to mind her own business, saying it was for the boys. Tanner just smiled, shook his head and wrote out the checks for their follies.

  But the biggest change of all had taken place between Tanner and the boys. Mark was practically his shadow, and Kate had yet to see Tanner lose his patience with either one of them. She knew it had been hard for him when they'd started school in the fall – the same school that he'd attended, the same place that held such humiliating memories for him – but he had gone with her when she'd
enrolled them, and he'd gone again for parent-teacher interviews.

  But the thing that had been most difficult for him was the school Christmas concert. It was a small town and a big public event, and Tanner was, by nature, a very private person. Kate suspected there had been a fair amount of speculation about Tanner McCall's new wife, so she wasn't surprised when several heads turned their way when they all walked in. But what created a stir was the fact that Chase McCall was there with his half brother's family.

  It wasn't until after the concert, when several people made a point of stopping to speak to Tanner and Chase, that Kate realized just how highly he was regarded by other ranchers, and when the new bank manager found he was the Circle S Ranch, he all but slavered at Tanner's feet.

  The thing with the bank manager had struck her as so immensely funny that every time she looked at Tanner after that, her shoulders would start to shake. Tanner finally hooked his arm around her neck, threatening that if she didn't quit it, he would make her walk home. That set her off all over again, and Tanner stood there in the middle of the school library, staring at her with that half-disgusted, half-amused expression in his eyes, as if he couldn't quite make up his mind whether to strangle her or kiss her, and she knew, from somewhere deep inside her, that they had just turned a major corner.

  She heard the screen door open behind her, and she turned. It was Tanner, his jeans unsnapped and his shirt unbuttoned, his four-week-old daughter cuddled against his shoulder. Allison Dawn. Allison for Tanner's mother. Dawn because Kate thought it was appropriate. And Kate's insides turned to mush every time she saw him with her.

  He grinned down at her. "Our star boarder is complaining."

  Kate gave him a dry look. "Then our star boarder shouldn't have fallen asleep at two this morning." She took her daughter, then moved down a step. Tanner sat down behind her, pulling her back between his thighs. She unzipped the front of her sweat suit and undid her nursing bra, and the baby rooted hungrily against her breast, then found the nipple and latched on. Tanner loosely looped his arms around Kate, then rested his head alongside hers. He slipped his finger beneath his daughter's hand where it lay against Kate's breast, and the baby gripped it, continuing to suckle. Tanner spoke, his tone amused. "At least nothing is going to distract her from breakfast."

  Kate's tone was dry. "She must be related to Burt."

  Tanner chuckled and kissed the curve of her neck, then continued to watch his daughter feed, and Kate leaned back against his chest, loving the feel of his warmth around her. It was so rare that they got any time alone during the day, so she'd learned to value times like this – quiet, private times with no interruptions.

  Tanner snuggled her closer and rubbed her arm. "Do you know what day this is?"

  For an instant Kate considered stringing him along, but this was too important, too personal, to treat lightly. She turned and rubbed her forehead against his jaw. "A year ago today, a man walked into a roadside café and my life changed."

  He laced his fingers through hers. "A year ago today I walked into a roadside café and knew my life would never be the same."

  Kate's vision blurred, and she closed her eyes, resting her head against his. She was under no illusions. It was Saturday. The boys were likely already downstairs cooking up something with Burt. The baby would decide that now would be a good time to get fussy. And Cyrus would almost certainly show up for coffee. So the private part would have to wait until later that night – when she'd made arrangements to take him back to that roadside café.

  Turning in his arms, she kissed his neck, then grinned up at him. "I thought I recognized you from somewhere."

  Holding her gaze, he stared down at her, amusement appearing in his eyes, then he smiled that slow, sensual, intimate smile that made her go weak inside. But it was the glint of amusement making her heart falter. "You're nothing but trouble, do you know that?"

  Supporting the baby, she reached up and kissed him, loving the way he opened his mouth and kissed her right back. "You like it," she whispered against his mouth.

  He chuckled, then lightly brushed her bottom lip. "You're right. I do."

  * * * *

 

 

 


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