by Amy Lillard
Jo’s smile was gentle. “Life’s too short not to grab all the love you can.”
And that’s just what he planned to do. He just hoped he wasn’t too late.
Valentine’s Day was always fun for the children. It gave them something to look forward to during the cold winter months when farming had slowed and it was too cold to stay outside for long. The best part was that all the scholars could take place in the exchange. There were so few projects that the entire school could do together.
Katie Rose pulled a stack of red construction paper from the supply cabinet. “Matthew, can you hand everyone a sheet of this, please?”
Her nephew stood without question and walked to the front of the classroom to retrieve the paper.
Katie Rose found the stash of pink paper. “Jodie, will you hand this out for me, too?”
“Yes, Katie Rose.” The young girl stood and came to the front as well.
As the older scholars walked around handing out the paper, Katie Rose continued to dig in the cabinet retrieving more items for them to use: glue, lace, and beads. She wanted this to be fun for all the children. Once they all completed their Valentines, she would let them go out and play while they dried. It was so hard on them to be cooped up all day, especially with a couple of inches of new snow on the ground. Fortunately, no ice was involved, and the roads were clear. Though Katie Rose suspected she’d have to break up a snowball fight or two.
Adding safety scissors to the pile of accessories on her desk, Katie Rose turned and faced the children. “Now, scholars. This is a free project. There will be no grade. You may make a Valentine for one person or as many people as you like, within the time we have. Now you have forty-five minutes. Ready, go.”
As the children worked not-so quietly, Katie Rose graded papers. She’d already made a Valentine for each of her students and dropped them in the box by the door, ensuring that everyone received at least one note of love. Everyone deserved a Valentine.
“How come you’re not makin’ a heart, Katie Rose?”
“Cuz, she’s already got a Valentine, silly.”
“Dat says now that Samuel Beachy’s back, we’ll have a weddin’ to go to out of season.”
“Jah,” the students chorused.
She opened her mouth to protest.
“Is that true?”
Katie Rose swung around at the sound of his voice. It was no trick of her hearing. There he stood in the flesh looking so much like he had the first time she’d ever seen him.
“Zane Carson!” The children didn’t ask for permission, getting up from their seats and clambering around him.
“Children. Children!” She banged her hand against the solid wood of her desk. It hurt like all get-out, but at least she had their attention back. “Kindly return to your seats, and allow Zane Carson a chance to breathe.”
In truth, she was the one who needed air. Just one sight of him and all the oxygen left her lungs. He looked even better than she remembered. He’d shaved his beard, and there were dark circles under his eyes, but he was still the most handsome man she had ever seen.
She wanted to run to him, throw herself at his feet, and beg to know why he had returned. But as his eyes scraped over her, she maintained control.
“Is it true?” he asked again.
She lost her concentration as soon as she looked into those chocolate-brown eyes. “What?”
“That you already have a Valentine?”
“Jah.” She could only whisper the word.
Zane shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other. He looked so out of place, standing there in his Englisch clothes. He took a deep breath and let it out noisily, running his fingers through his hair as if he desperately needed something to do with his hands. “I see,” he finally said. “I guess I’m too late, then.”
“Too late for what?” she asked, so aware that the children had completely stopped making their Valentines and instead were watching them like a fox watches a hare.
One of the girls giggled.
Zane glanced toward the class as if only then he remembered that they had a captive audience. “Can I, uh, talk to you alone?”
“After school?”
He shook his head. “Outside.”
Katie Rose stood and rushed to the door, only slowing down as she neared the threshold. “Children, continue to work on your projects, I expect to see lots accomplished when I return.”
Without bothering to get her coat, she followed Zane out into the school yard. They walked across the playground, and Zane looked as if he were gathering his thoughts. Katie Rose remained silent, allowing him time to say his piece.
When they reached the big oak, he stopped and turned to face her.
Katie Rose shivered in anticipation. Or perhaps it was the north wind cutting through her dress like a knife.
“You’re cold.”
Before she could answer, he had slipped out of his wool coat and wrapped it around her. It smelled like Zane, but different. Zane and store-bought aftershave. She inhaled deeply, loving the scent and the warmth of him wrapped around her as it was.
“I think I might be in love with you.”
Katie Rose blinked. “You don’t know?”
“I’m confused. See, I’ve never been in love before.”
“What about your intended?”
He shook his head. “I never loved Monica. At least not romantic love. I only thought I did.”
“Oh.”
“She gave me back my ring. We’ve parted as friends.”
Katie Rose swallowed hard. Best not to let her hopes rise. He thought he was in love with the pretty Englisch brunette, but it wasn’t true. Now he was saying that he might love her . . .
“She thinks I’m in love with you, but then—it doesn’t matter. Never mind. You’re marrying Samuel. I should have never come here.” He started to turn and walk away, but Katie Rose put a hand on his arm to stop him.
“Why did you come?”
He shoved his hands into the pockets of his dungarees as if he didn’t have anything better to do with them. Then he shrugged, as the wind ruffled his wheat-colored hair. “It’s silly,” he said with a shake of his head.
“Tell me.”
“I came to kiss you.”
Katie Rose couldn’t help the sigh that escaped her. His words were like something out of the romantic movies she had watched during her rumspringa. At the time, she had thought they were nothing but made-up stories. After all, she had been in love with Samuel Beachy, and he had never treated her like the men in the movies treated their women. But now Zane Carson had travelled hundreds of miles just to kiss her.
She took a steadying breath. She couldn’t lose her head. Not with her heart already on the line. “And what happens after that?”
He shrugged again. “I don’t know. If it is . . . love, then I suppose I should go talk to the bishop about staying. If not, then I walk away and never bother you again.”
The thought of never seeing him again hurt her heart.
“Okay,” she said, expelling a heavy sigh.
How could she not say yes? She had been wondering the same thing. When Samuel had kissed her the few times they had found themselves alone since his return, Katie Rose had to remind herself that it was what she wanted. Samuel had always been what she wanted. To be married. Have children.
“I’ve never asked to kiss a girl before.”
Katie Rose waited patiently as he took a step closer, and braced his booted feet farther apart. He seemed even more nervous than she. He took a breath, then placed his hands on either side of her face and tilted her mouth up to meet his.
The touch of his lips was like everything beautiful and perfect rolled into one. Sunshine and green grass, freshly fallen snow, and the smell of w
ood burning in the wintertime. Katie Rose had never felt love like this, had never felt so loved like this.
His lips clung to hers, warming her against the cold. She wrapped her arms around his neck, knowing full well that the children were most probably pressed against the windows of the schoolhouse watching with wide eyes. She couldn’t help herself. She had waited so long.
When Samuel left she had been waiting, waiting for the man God had set aside for her. Waiting for Zane.
He pulled his mouth from hers, his thumbs brushing her cheeks. She said a little prayer that he felt the same about her. If not, she was certain her heart would never heal.
“Please don’t marry Samuel Beachy.” His voice was thick with emotion.
She wanted to be coy like the actress in the movie and say something pithy, but all she could do was pull his lips back to hers.
“Nay,” she said so many minutes later. “I’ll not be marryin’ Samuel Beachy. You see, I never told him yes.”
Relief took hold and spread across Zane’s handsome face. “And me? Will you marry me?”
“What about the bishop?”
“I don’t want to marry him.”
Katie Rose laughed, then immediately sobered. “What if he denies your petition to join the church?”
“Then I’ll stay in town. I’ll buy a house. I’ll show him how much you and the community mean to me. This is where I’m supposed to be. God led me here, to you, and I’m not going anywhere.” With God on their side how could they lose? “Somehow, we’ll find a way.”
“Jah,” Katie Rose said, holding him tight. She laid her head on his chest, the steady thump of his heart easing her uncertainties. “True love always does.”
Glossary of Amish Words
Ach — Oh
Aemen — Amen
Aenti — aunt
Allrecht — all right
Bruder — Brother
Bu, buwe — Boy, boys
danki — thank you
Dat — Dad
Dawk — day
Deutsch — Pennsylvania Dutch
Die Botschaft — old order Amish weekly newspaper (The Budget)
Dochder — daughter
Ei, yi, yi — My, oh, my
Elder — parents
Englisch — non-Amish person
Fisch — fish
Frack — Dress
geh — Go
goedemiddag — good afternoon
grossdaadi — Grandfather
grossmammi — Grandmother
grossdawdi haus — a house usually built onto the back where the grandparents live
gut — Good
guder mariye — Good morning
Gut himmel — Good heavens
gut nacht — Good night
haus — House
Jah — yes
Kapp — prayer covering, cap
Katfisch — catfish
Kinder — children
Mach schnell — hurry up (make quickly)
mamm — Mom
mudder — Mother
natchess — supper
nay — No
nichte — niece
onkle — Uncle
Ordnung — Amish rules written and understood
Red-up — clean up
Rumspringa — running around time (starts at 16)
Schay — pretty
Schveshtah — sister
Shayna Grischtdaag — Nice Christmas
vatter — father
Wie geht? — How are things?
Weibs leit — women
Counting—
1 — eens
2 — zwee
3 — drei
Dear Reader—
My name is Katie Rose Fisher, and I live in the Old Order Amish community of Clover Ridge, Oklahoma. For almost as long as I can remember, I knew what I wanted out of my life: to live in the Amish tradition, join the church, and marry Samuel Beachy, the bishop’s son. But before he could bend his knee and give his life to God, Samuel decided to stay in the Englisch world long after his run-around time.
I’ll admit, I was heartbroken, but it seemed that God had other plans for me. When Gabriel’s wife died, I went to live with my brother to help take care of his brood of six. I found myself teaching the young scholars in our district. God has provided me with a fulfilling life. Even if it isn’t with Samuel. Even if I do not have a husband or children of my own.
The news that our mother had breast cancer devastated the entire Fisher clan. As usual, we pulled together and did everything in our power to help pay for the medical costs, including inviting an Englisch reporter to come and live with us. The hope is he will write articles for his fancy magazine and bring business and tourists to our little community.
I think allowing Zane Carson to come to Clover Ridge is a bad idea. He is worldly and handsome and has no idea of the ways of the Amish. He isn’t even sure if he believes in God, but he is willing to learn how we live, dress like us, ride in a horse and buggy, even farm the earth. When so many others tend to scoff at our ways, his acceptance is refreshing. And I think maybe he has even found his way to the Lord.
But there is so much more to Zane Carson as I soon discover. His presence alone makes me wish for things I cannot have—a husband, children, and for Zane to stay among us and live out his days as a Plain man. He has had these thoughts himself, for I can see the confusion and longing in his eyes. But whether that want is for me or a closer relationship with God, I do not know.
I may never know, for as soon as I think I understand the man underneath the English exterior, Samuel Beachy returns, throwing my dreams of something more into a tailspin.
But has Samuel come back for me or for his family who has shunned him? Do I give him another chance? And what of this handsome Englisch reporter who walks away with my heart? It is not an easy choice to make.
Love to you always—
Katie Rose Fisher
Discussion Questions
1. How does Zane’s lack of religious/spiritual background affect his views of the Fishers? Have you ever had the opportunity to talk to someone who knows little or nothing about the story of Jesus?
2. Are Zane’s reasons for asking Monica to marry him sound? How does her lack of an answer affect him during his stay with the Amish?
3. Zane is stunned the first time he meets Katie Rose. Do you believe in love at first sight? Have you ever felt an instant connection with someone, be it romantic or platonic? How did that relationship pan out for you?
4. Zane was raised in a “hippie” commune by very liberal parents. How do their earthy ways help him learn to live with the Amish?
5. Zane feels that the danger he faces as a war correspondent helps him feel alive. What is it about the peaceful ways of the Amish that has him feeling the same way when he’s in Clover Ridge?
6. Katie Rose has been living with Gabriel since his wife died. How has this relationship hindered her from finding a husband? Is her reasoning sound or has she been waiting for Samuel to change his mind and return to Clover Ridge?
7. When Ruth asks Zane to pray with her, she tells him to thank God for his blessings. Zane finds there are too many to count. How do you feel these prayer instructions affect Zane’s thoughts and behaviors as he continues to live with the Fishers?
8. Katie Rose demands Zane pray aloud over the colt’s birth. Is this request helpful to Zane? Does it aid in his acceptance of the ways of the Lord?
9. How do you feel about John Paul having a job even though his father has forbid him to work during his rumspringa? Have you ever gone against someone’s wishes because you thought it was the right thing to do?
10. How does Megan Fisher’s l
eaving the community affect Abram’s view of his family and his treatment of John Paul’s rumspringa freedoms?
11. How has Ruth’s surgery affected her relationship with God? What about her relationship with Abram? Is her reasoning sound? Or is she simply grieving over the loss of her “normal” life?
12. In this book, the reader gets to catch up with Annie from Saving Gideon. As an Englisher among the Amish, how does Annie help Zane understand their ways?
13. Zane knows from the first time that he meets her that Katie Rose is different than any other woman he’s known. How do these differences affect the way Zane treats Katie Rose?
14. How does Zane’s inability to completely leave Katie Rose alone and his reluctance to pursue a relationship with her show the power of love? Have you ever loved anyone whom the world thought wasn’t right for you?
15. Even though he won’t admit it, Zane is in love with Katie Rose when he returns to Chicago. Do you feel this determination to marry Monica is noble or is it irresponsible?