Mac listened in silence, already regretting his curiosity.
“Mr. Carpenter gave me the ring. I offered to finish making payments, although I don’t know why I did because I didn’t have the money. But he said, ‘no, it’s the least I can do for a hero.’ So he gave me this ring. I couldn’t bear to part with it,” she said, tears spilling onto the small gold band in her hand.
Callie wiped her eyes. She missed Kyle. He would have believed her. She looked at Mac. His eyes gazed at her coolly, but he said nothing.
“Still not convinced? Here, proof I’m telling the truth,” Callie said. Her hand trembled as she slowly removed the engagement ring Mac gave her and slipped the wedding ring on her ring finger. She thought of the days when she dreamed of Kyle sliding this band on her finger.
“Its way too big, see? I would have had to resize this ring to wear it. Does this satisfy you I never wore this ring and was never married,” she asked, quickly removing Kyle’s ring and returning it to the chest. She stared at him defiantly.
“Thank you. I’m sorry I asked. But you can’t blame me for doubting you.”
“Kyle wouldn’t have doubted me and I don’t think I would have doubted you. You don’t trust me, do you?” she said, hurt.
“I do. Except, maybe, when it comes to Kyle. I don’t know much about you and him,” he said, handing her his handkerchief and putting his arm around her shoulders.
“I’m not about to dump you for a dead man,” she said. “Are you still curious about the stuff in this chest?”
“Maybe not. I don’t want to know how much you loved him and how happy you were together. You still love him, don’t you?”
“But not in the way you think. I love him as a dear friend, who helped me, loved me, when I was alone. Do you have any other questions?”
“Were you sleeping with him?”
“Mac!”
“Were you?” he insisted.
“What do you think?” she said, her eyes flashing.
“I think you were.”
“All right, yes, I was. We were in love. We were engaged. You didn’t think I was a virgin, did you?”
“No.”
“Well, what did you think? Do you really want to know all this? Why are you torturing yourself? Kyle was a huge part of my life but he’s gone, for a long time now. His love for me is the reason I am here with you and not in some looney bin somewhere. I’m grateful to him. Let it go.”
“It’s not a question of whether I can let it go, but can you?”
“Of course. I have. It’s you and me, now and forever.”
“Then why do you need to hold on to this stuff now we’re getting married,” Mac said, taking her hand.
“Kyle’s death was the end of everything for me. He was my whole life. I can’t pretend he didn’t exist. This stuff reminds me of our good times. Forcing myself to forget, denying his existence, robs me of those good memories.”
“Do you think about him often?”
“From time to time.”
“Do you think about him when we are in bed? Do you wish you were making love with Kyle instead of me?” Mac asked.
“Of course not…no! Absolutely not, I don’t. Our love time is our time. I’m there with only you. I don’t need Kyle when I’m in bed with you, Mac. I have you,” Callie said, putting her arms around his waist. “I think Kyle would be glad to know I’m happy with you. He’s still in my heart, but with you, I’m happier than I thought I could ever be again,” she said, reaching up and touching his face tenderly.
“Then you love me best?” he asked, kissing her palm.
“Of course I do! Of course. How silly you are, Mac. Such a baby, thirty-four years old, and listen to you, jealous of a ghost!” she said, hugging him.
“I need to be number one with you,” he said, hugging her.
“You are,” Callie said, kissing him. “And what about you? I’m not the first woman you’ve ever slept with, am I?”
“No.”
“Were there hundreds and hundreds?”
“Thousands,” he joked.
“Seriously, Mac.”
“Seriously? I lost track. I don’t know, maybe a dozen or two. Does it matter? You don’t want to know details, do you?
“I don’t,” Callie said. “Was Eliza one of the dozens?”
“What?”
“You heard me. Did you sleep with Eliza?” she asked.
“She is the wife of my best friend!”
“So? Plenty of men do.”
“Not me.”
“Because she didn’t want to or you didn’t want to?”
“Callie! This is ridiculous.”
“You’re not answering the question.”
“Neither one of us wanted to. It was never discussed. Never considered. She’s like a
sister to me. What’s going on?”
“If it wasn’t discussed, then how do you know it wasn’t considered by her?”
“Well, she would have…she...”
“She what? She would have said something to you? She would have kissed you?”
“No. No. I don’t know. You’re inventing something here.”
“That’s not what she told me,” Callie said.
“What do you mean? What did she tell you?”
“Well about the time…”
“You mean the time we got drunk?”
She nodded.
“Nothing happened…honestly.”
“Nothing?”
“Okay, okay. It was after Bill’s death. We had dinner. She was lonely. I was…well I wasn’t seeing anyone. Audrey and I just broke up...”
“Go on.”
“We both had too much to drink. We were sort of…making out on her sofa,” he said, shifting in his seat.
“How can you be ‘sort of’ making out?” Callie asked.
“I don’t know. We were. Then she went into the bedroom, to...I don’t know…to get undressed, maybe?” Mac said, his gaze moving from his hands to the chair to her face and away again.
Callie looked at him with her head cocked to one side, in disbelief.
“But I fell asleep on the sofa. And nothing happened.”
“Fell asleep or passed out?”
“Take your pick. Does it matter?”
“I guess not.”
“In the morning we both felt ridiculous. It was embarrassing, something I would rather forget. I left as soon as I could. But she told you all this, right? So why are you questioning me?”
“She didn’t tell me anything.”
“You lied to me? You said she told you.”
“I didn’t actually say…I implied it. I needed to know and you were not going to tell me. So I pretended I already knew. And you filled in the details very nicely. So now I know.”
“And now you believe me?” he asked.
“I do. But there is some unfinished business between you two.”
“I don’t think so. It happened two years ago. We were drunk and stupid. She’s forgotten it, I’m sure. Why don’t you?”
“Okay. Okay.”
“This doesn’t change things for you, though. My past isn’t the same as you and Kyle,” he insisted.
“Oh?” she said, returning the chest to the closet.
Mac took her arm and turned her around to face him, “I never felt about anyone the way you felt...and maybe still do...about Kyle.”
“Even Audrey?”
“Even Audrey. So my past doesn’t count.”
“Good. I need to be your one and only, too.”
Callie was touched by Mac’s jealousy, even though it seemed silly to be jealous of a dead man. Still, Kyle was locked in her memory in his prime, he wouldn’t grow old or grow fat and will live on for her as a perfect guy. Perhaps he’s a lot to compete with after all.
Chapter Thirteen
Wedding plans mixed with Christmas plans overwhelmed Callie as she tried to get everything organized. Every night, Callie and Mac came home from work together and sp
ent dinner discussing plans for the wedding, Jason and Kensington State. But they went to bed early creating time together to escape disagreements, plans, opinions, discussions, decisions and other distractions.
“Why do you love me?” Callie asked Mac as she got into bed next to him.
“Do I have to tell you?”
“It would be nice.”
“Do you feel insecure?” he asked, cuddling up to her.
“Sometimes.”
“There are too many reasons to list,” he said, picking up a strand of hair and moving it out of her eyes.
She rolled over, turning her back to him.
“I love you because you’re sexy,” he said, stroking her.
“Go on.”
“I love you because you make great pancakes.”
“You can do better,” she said, smiling at his joke.
“I love you for your pot roast?”
“I’m serious.”
“I love you because you’re smart, funny, cute, beautiful, and the nicest person I know,” he said, turning her over and kissing her with passion.
“Good answer,” she said, feeling an inner glow at his praise.
Callie put her hands on his shoulders and pulled her body up against his, resting her hands on his chest, enjoying the feel of his masculinity under her fingers.
“Let me show you how much I love you. I’m better at that,” he whispered, as his hands cradled her breasts and his lips found her neck.
She laughed as he eased her nightgown off and they made love.
* * * *
Callie and Mac didn’t know where to look for a place to have the wedding. Their house was too small. Eliza offered her house for the wedding and Callie gladly accepted. They invited only fifty people. She conferred with Eliza daily on preparations trying to keep it simple and inexpensive.
But cutting corners didn’t dampen the spirit of this union. Everyone pitched in to help, some by bringing dishes of food instead of wedding gifts. Dale Bailey, the bursar at the college and a talented baker known for her elaborately decorated cakes, planned to bake the wedding cake as her gift to the bride and groom.
John and Annika Lawrence hosted the rehearsal dinner at their house. Jonesy and her husband contributed wine Bill Jones got wholesale from the store where he worked. Best of all, John and Susie Weston were coming because John was to give away the bride and Susie was to be a bridesmaid with Eliza.
Problem after problem got solved through the love and support of their friends and colleagues. The wedding plans continued with much anticipation on the part of everyone, with one obstacle -- Mac.
“Don’t ask me to write vows. I’m not writing vows.”
“Why not?”
“Mushy stuff…guys don’t write vows.”
“They do.”
“There have been perfectly good vows used for centuries. Why do you think I can do something better?”
“Because you make it personal,” Callie said.
“It is personal. It’s my business how I feel about you and I don’t plan to go spilling my guts in front of strangers.”
“They are not strangers, Mac,”
“Don’t ask me! I’m not doing it!” he said and went into the bedroom, closing the door thus ending the discussion.
One thing off her list. Besides, it was so like Mac to want to be private, he hated open sentimentality, stating feelings should be kept in the bedroom. Callie understood how he felt, so she forgave him his stubbornness and called through the closed door, “Okay, Mac. No vows!” He came out looking sheepish but relieved.
* * * *
In the midst of all this craziness, Callie started planning Christmas, dragging Mac to the Christmas tree farm. Jason was old enough to be trusted near a tree, being almost three. So she bought lights, ornaments, and a big tree, designating Mac to haul it inside and set it up. When it was all done, they admired his handiwork and Mac admitted the tree added much to the spirit of the season and the fun of having a family Christmas.
“We need our own holiday family traditions,” Callie said, admiring the tree. Mac hugged her to him.
“Family traditions,” he muttered with a smile.
“My father was the sentimental one in our family. He always bought the tree and decorated it. He carved the Thanksgiving turkey, hid the Easter eggs and bought sparklers for the Fourth of July. He believed in holidays. He was an engineer and worked long hours, but never on holidays. I guess that’s why holidays are so important to me even now. I miss sharing this one with him and my mom so much,” she said, tearing up.
Mac gave her another hug and his handkerchief.
The next day they shopped for Jason for Christmas. It was so easy to shop for a toddler, but Callie went overboard and Mac put on the brakes.
“He doesn’t play with everything he has now. Enough is enough. Stop.”
She put back the last three toys in the cart.
“Hey, not the fire engine. Keep that,” he said, taking the toy from her hands before she could return it to the shelf and put it back in their shopping cart.
Mac and Callie agreed to buy only one present for each other, since they had to pay for a wedding. But being together as a family was the best gift.
The wedding was scheduled for four days after Christmas. There was to be no honeymoon as there was no money to go anywhere and Audrey wouldn’t take Jason for the weekend. The wedding dress was a challenge. Callie looked everywhere, even the second hand shops, but couldn’t find anything to fit her priced under $100. Then she got a letter from Sarah explaining she couldn’t come because they couldn’t afford the airfare. But she was sending along her wedding dress which she assured Callie would fit. The note enclosed with the dress read…
Dear Sis,
Money is so tight, you can’t believe. Bob lost his job. I can’t come ‘cause airfare is too much right now. So I sent you my wedding dress instead. Yeah, it’s close to the one Mom liked in the magazine. The one she thought I would wear with Mike…remember those days? Seems like a century ago. Anyway, it’s pretty. It should fit you because all my clothes fit you. If I remember, you were always stealing…or borrowing my stuff, as you would say. So this should be a perfect fit too unless you’ve porked out.
Good luck to you. I’m sorry I can’t be there. But I’ll be there in spirit. I’m glad you found happiness, Callie. Mom and Dad would be so proud and pleased. Well done, sister.
Love,
Sarah
Something old and something borrowed at the same time, Callie tried to stop the tears spilling down her cheeks, while she was sorry Sarah couldn’t be there, she understood. Getting the dress was a real boon. She hoped it fit as there was no time for alterations. The dress arrived in an enormous box three days before Christmas. Mac asked Callie what was in it.
“It’s my wedding dress,” she said.
“All the way from Seattle?” He asked, reading the return address.
“Sarah sent it. It was her dress,” Callie said.
Then it hit Mac, Callie didn’t have the money for a wedding dress. It was too late for him to buy her a new dress.
“This is your sister’s dress?” he asked, his brows knitted, a frown on his face.
“Wearing it will be like having her here. Airfare is too high, she couldn’t come, so she sent her dress instead. I’m happy to have the dress. I’m sure it’s beautiful, I hope it fits. Scoot so I can try it on without you around because if you see me in this dress, its bad luck.”
Mac touched her cheek then bundled up Jason and they went to play in the yard. Callie called Eliza to come over. She felt scared the dress wouldn’t fit and she would be backed into a corner. Eliza understood what Callie was going through, but didn’t let on to Mac. Together the two women opened the package carefully. Callie was nervous, so Eliza unwrapped the dress. It was a beautiful, snowy white gown, sleeveless, with a scoop neck and plain white satin until the hip, where there was lace embroidery on the full skirt. The dress was a size
8, Callie’s size! Her eyes lit up.
“Try it on, Callie,” Eliza said.
Callie stripped off her shirt and jeans and gently eased the dress up over her hips. Eliza zipped it up the back. It was a perfect fit! Both women let out a whoop of joy. Mac banged on the door.
“Everything okay in there?” he called.
“Yes! Yes! Don’t come in!” Callie yelled back.
Mac obeyed and went back to undressing Jason and getting him ready for his nap. This day made everything complete for Callie. She couldn’t wait to call her sister. Eliza carefully packed the dress back in the box and placed it in her car. After a happy conversation with Sarah, Callie flung herself in Mac’s arms.
“Everything is fine…everything is okay for the wedding!”
“Great! Now maybe you can relax,” Mac said.
“A bride never relaxes until it’s all over,” Callie said.
She went over to Jason, danced with him, played catch with Tony the Turtle and read him a story. Mac sat back, opened a beer, and watched the snow fall, looked like a white Christmas was headed their way.
After Jason fell asleep, Callie brought a glass of wine into the living room and joined Mac. She snuggled up to him on the sofa and he looped his arm around her.
“Do you have a big list for Santa this year?” he teased.
She shook her head.
“Got most of what I want already.”
“Most?”
“I need a new journal for school. But I’d like a pretty one, this year. What about you, do you have a list for Santa?” Callie asked him, hoping he’d say what he wanted and make her shopping easier.
Mac frowned and shook his head.
“No list for Santa?” Callie prodded.
“Don’t need a list. Not this year. This year I have everything I want…everything I’ve ever wanted.”
“Oh, Mac,” Callie said, kissing him.
* * * *
Audrey refused to let Mac and Callie have Jason until afternoon on Christmas day. Callie and Mac invited some students and staff to dine with them on Christmas Eve, including Eliza, her British boyfriend, Simon, her daughters Sally and Kaitlyn and Blaine, among others.
A Love Story Page 10