by Menon, David
But two days later when she sat down with Paddy she didn’t know how to break the news to him about Rita Makin. Rita had made such an impression on him when he’d been at his most vulnerable. How was he going to take the news of what had happened to her? He obviously hadn’t found out for himself yet or else he would’ve mentioned it. But still, she decided to wait until it felt like the right moment.
‘Paddy, tell me what happened after you ran away? Did they catch up with you?’
‘No, doc,’ said Paddy, ‘It’s surprising how much you can live off your wits when you’re forced into it. I had almost a year of living rough, running from town to town, not making relationships with anyone.’
‘How did you survive though, Paddy? I mean, how did you eat?’
‘When I could,’ said Paddy. ‘You’d be surprised at how much food people throw away that’s perfectly edible. Well, as long as you’re not fussed about having a table to eat off and plates and knives and forks.’
‘You can’t have been more than what, twelve, thirteen, fourteen?’
‘I was about fourteen,’ said Paddy. ‘Once I was out of the routine of the children’s home I had time to think and all the bewilderment about how my mother could’ve just left me came over me again. The pain from that was truly relentless at times.’
‘How did you deal with that?’
‘I didn’t,’ said Paddy, ‘I just did what I could to get through each day. I didn’t know where the fuck I was going. I only knew where it was I’d come from.’
‘And what followed on from this period?’
‘I was on the outskirts of Melbourne,’ Paddy recalled, ‘I was sitting in a park in some suburb or other. I hadn’t seen the news or anything for days so I didn’t know how dangerous it was for a boy of my age to be in that area on my own at that time.
1972
‘You look a bit lost, mate’ she said.
Sean didn’t answer. He was sitting on a bench in the park next to the street where all the Greek restaurants were. He’d never been to a restaurant. He’d heard of a place called Greece. And now he knew something about Greek food from all the stuff the restaurants throw away that he’d been able to salvage and eat. He didn’t know what any of it was called. But it tasted alright.
‘I’ve seen you round here a few times,’ she carried on, trying to find a way in.
Sean still didn’t say anything. He just kept staring into space and ignoring his companion. As soon as he was able he’d run. He was good at running. He’d been doing it for the last year. If she’d noticed him a few times then others were bound to have done too. It might be time to move on to be on the safe side. Last night he’d found a place in the woods to sleep but he hadn’t had a good night. All he could dream about was the face of his mother on the day she left him with the Nuns. He’d woken up in tears. He wondered what she was doing now and if she ever thought about him. He wondered why she’d sent him to Hell whilst he was still alive.
‘Do you want a smoke, mate?’
Sean looked down at the packet of cigarettes the woman was holding. It was tempting. So was she. She was pretty with blond hair and wearing a short blue dress. She had red painted nails and a curve to her breasts.
‘Go on,’ she said encouragingly, ‘you know you want to.’
Sean took a cigarette and leaned forward to let her light it for him.
‘Thanks’ he said. Smoking had become one of his acquired skills whilst he’d been on the run.
‘Well now you’ve taken one of my ciggies, do I get to know your name?’
‘It’s… Patrick,’ said Sean. Patrick was his middle name and it was the one he’d been using on the run whenever he’d had to engage in conversation with anybody.
‘Why don’t I call you Paddy? It’s a bit more relaxed, right?’
‘Paddy’ shrugged his shoulders. He didn’t want to admit it but he rather liked the idea of becoming ‘Paddy’. It was like he was becoming someone else. It didn’t make any difference to him being on the run. He’d managed to find newspapers that told him he was wanted for questioning in relation to the deaths of Brother Michael and Andy Cook. No surprise there. Not long after running away from the boys’ home he’d crossed over from New South Wales into Victoria and eventually made his way all the way down to Melbourne. He felt safer in the city. People in the country were too suspicious of unfamiliar faces.
‘Well I’m Eileen,’ she said, offering one of her small hands to shake with Paddy’s.
‘Hello,’ said Paddy who’d been starved of basic human contact for so long that he didn’t know what to do, especially given his circumstances. He decided to shake her hand.
‘That’s very formal,’ she cooed, ‘and quite sweet really. So where are you from Paddy?’
‘Here and there.’
‘Secretive, eh? Good for you, my little vegemite. You don’t want all and bloody sundry knowing your bloody business. You’re fairly boyish looking but I’m guessing you’re a bit older? Just on the edge of being a man?’
Paddy didn’t know why but he laughed. ‘Yeah, I reckon.’
‘Look, Paddy, I reckon we’re likely souls, you and I. Why don’t you come back to my place, have yourself a bath, get yourself something to eat? You look like you’ve been making do for ages.’
‘Who are you?’
‘Nobody you should fear,’ said Eileen. ‘I’m not the police but I’m guessing you’re running from someone or something.’
‘How do I know if I can trust you?’
‘You don’t,’ said Eileen. ‘You just need to take the risk.’
*
‘So why did you take the risk with her, Paddy?’
‘I needed some company, doc’ said Paddy. ‘ I mean, have a fucking heart.’
‘No, I do understand, Paddy,’ said Angela.
‘Yeah, I know you do, doc’ said Paddy as he stretched out his legs under the table and folded his arms across his chest. ‘I guess you have to be a bit obvious, a bit probing to make sure I’m telling the truth.’
‘Well it’s not really like that, Paddy,’ she said, although Angela would have to admit she couldn’t have put it more succinctly than Paddy had done.
‘Are you okay today, doc?’
‘Me? Why do you ask?’
‘You seem a bit… well, tense,’ said Paddy. ‘I’m used to you being all relaxed and sort of laid back. That’s your style. Oh don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you don’t care or anything because I know that you do. I’m just giving you my impressions of how you work.’
‘Thanks, Paddy, but you’re supposed to be the patient.’
‘I know but I see it as a fair exchange.’
‘I’m grateful, Paddy,’ said Angela. ‘And once more you’ve surprised me. But I’m okay, truly. Now, tell me what happened after you went back to Eileen’s house?’
‘She turned me into a man, doc.’
‘You had a sexual relationship with her?’
‘Yes, I did.’
‘Did she force you into it?’
‘Well if she did then you could say that I was willing to be forced.’
‘Did you enjoy it?’
‘Of course I did’ said Paddy. ‘What fifteen year old boy wouldn’t enjoy sleeping with an older woman who could show him what to do? The only trouble was she had a boyfriend and I didn’t realise that she was only sleeping with me so that I’d work for him.’
‘You couldn’t get out of the situation?’
‘No,’ said Paddy. ‘They found out I was the young lad they’d seen on the news who was on the run. And they used that. That’s when Hell really started.’ He threw his head back and laughed sardonically. ‘I’d thought for just one marvellous second that maybe the Gods were giving me a break when I met Eileen but I really should’ve known.’
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
‘Well just look at you’ said Matt as he walked back into the bedroom from the bathroom. He was naked and his cock and balls swung slightly as he walked. ‘S
itting up in my bed with your post-coital cigarette and showing off your hairy chest to the world. You look like Sean Connery in all those early Bond films.’
‘Well does that make you Miss Moneypenny?’ asked Adrian in an attempted Connery voice that made Matt fall about laughing. ‘Why are you laughing?’
‘Because that was the worse Sean Connery imitation I’ve ever heard!’
Adrian grabbed Matt and brought him close. ‘I’ll bet Connery doesn’t kiss like I do, he said before sweeping Matt onto the bed and kissing him with the same extraordinary passion that had driven their love making. He then lifted the duvet and tapped the space inside with the palm of his hand. ‘Now get back into bed.’
‘Yes, Sir,’ said Matt as he crawled in and snuggled up to Adrian. If only it could stay like this. He didn’t want Adrian to go home. He wanted to hold onto this feeling and yet he knew that it would be wrenched away from him like a child who won’t give up his toy at bedtime. ‘You seem a lot more relaxed than when you first got here.’
‘Well I’ve had a thorough examination from the good doctor so I’m tons better now.’
‘Is it work that’s stressing you?’
‘Yes’ said Adrian. ‘We’ve got a big case on. I was lucky to get away to be honest.’
‘Murder?’
‘Oh yes,’ said Adrian. ‘You might’ve read about it in the papers? A woman called Rita Makin?’
‘Yes, I did’ said Matt as he recalled reading the report in the Manchester Evening News. ‘Somebody got into her house and cut her throat for apparently no reason?’
‘That’s the one’ said Adrian.
‘Horrific,‘ said Matt, ‘poor woman. Her poor family.’
‘You might not say that if you’d met them’ said Adrian. ‘Anyway, lets not talk about it anymore. I know what I meant to ask you. Are you going on holiday this year?’
‘Well, yes,’ said Matt who was somewhat surprised by the question.
‘Where are you going?’
‘I’m going to Italy in August. My friend Gabriella lives in Rome so I’ll stay with her and her family for a week or so and then we’ll all go down to the coast near Naples for another week. It’s beautiful down there. Have you ever been?’
‘No, can’t say I have,’ Adrian replied. He’d not been abroad that much. Since the kids had come along he’d not been able to afford it. It was alright for men like Matt who don’t have any dependents. Adrian wouldn’t swap his kids for the world but they did mean that his own life was on hold whilst he saw to theirs. That’s one of the reasons why he needed this time with Matt. It was something he didn’t have to share with anyone else in the family but himself.
‘Anyway, can you just picture you and me on some faraway beach then?’ asked Matt his voice rich with fantasy.
‘Well I can picture it, mate, but it’s not going to happen.’
Matt wished Adrian wasn’t quite as blunt as he sometimes could be. He took a deep breath and then asked ‘So why did you ask me?’
‘Well, the thing is, I told you my Dad died years ago?’
‘Yeah?’ Matt asked, noting that Adrian hadn’t apparently noticed the pause in their conversation. But then why would he? Adrian had everything he wanted at home and away.
‘Well my Mum has decided to give me and my brothers and sister part of what we were going to inherit when she died. She wants to give us something now so she can get the pleasure out of seeing what we do with it. My Dad has missed out on so much with his kids and his grandkids and I think my Mum just doesn’t want to miss out on as much. Anyway, it’s not a lot of money, Matt, not really. We’ll get about six grand each but it’ll be enough to spend some of it on a holiday for me and the family. I just wondered if you had ideas as to where we might go.’
Matt didn’t really want to answer that. He wanted to go on holiday with Adrian. He didn’t want to advise him of where he could go with someone else even if that was his wife and his children.
‘I’ve always loved Italy’ said Matt. ‘I don’t think you can go wrong there. The food, the wine, the buildings, the culture, just the general way of the place.’
‘Too full of Italians.’
‘Watch it, you. My friends Gabriella and her husband Umberto and their family mean a lot to me.’
‘Okay, but not Italy.’
‘Well how about France? For all the same reasons as Italy.’
‘Too full of the bloody French,’ said Adrian. ‘Look, I don’t want to go to any country that doesn’t speak English.’
‘I beg your pardon?’
‘Okay, so I’m a lazy Brit who won’t try.’
‘You’re not prepared to make any effort to speak someone else’s language?’
‘No, sorry. I’m very English when it comes to things like that. It’s up to them to speak English not the other way round.’
‘Christ!’ Matt exclaimed, ‘I didn’t realise what a little Englander you were.’
‘Yeah, well that’s me.’
‘That’s a pity because it would be great for your kids and learning another language opens up a whole new culture to you.’
‘I’m quite happy with my English culture thank you very much.’
‘You were quite happy with straight sex until I came along.’
Adrian laughed. ‘Oh touché!’
‘You see’ said Matt. ‘You can speak another language.’
‘Well what’s touché?’
‘It’s French you idiot.’
‘I never knew that.’
‘Oh puh–lease!’
‘No seriously, I didn’t.’
‘Mange tout, Rodney, mange tout.’
‘So do you speak French?’
‘Yes’
‘And do you speak Italian too?’
‘Yes’ said Matt. ‘But it’s the language of love so that’s why I never speak it to you.’
‘Oh ha, ha, my sides!’ laughed Adrian. ‘Anyway, I think it’s going to be Florida.’
Matt pulled a face. ‘Florida? You’d have to pay me to go there.’
‘At least they speak English.’
‘Of a sort. I’m sometimes able to understand people who don’t speak English more than I can understand Americans. I certainly feel more in tune with other Europeans than I do with America.’
‘Well I’m of the opposite view,’ said Adrian. ‘Sorry. Europe means nothing to me. America is the real deal.’
‘Oh I hate their absurd puritan values,’ said Matt. ‘They wanted to impeach Clinton because he’d had an affair. It had nothing to do with anybody else but those directly involved.’
‘So you’re saying that if our Prime Minister was found out to have been having an affair with one of his staff, it wouldn’t bother you?’
‘Not a bit.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because it would be his business to sort out with his wife and his lover,’ said Matt. ‘Just like it was Mitterand’s business in France when it was discovered he had a daughter with a woman who wasn’t his wife. Nobody else bothered. The French public just shrugged their Gallic shoulders. They took the more mature view.’
‘But what about the morality that goes with being in that office?’
‘I think it’s a bit rich of you, Mr. Married Man, to be climbing onto the moral high ground when you’re lying here in bed with me.’
‘But this is different.’
‘Why is it?’
‘Because I’m not the Prime Minister.’
‘But there’s the duplicity, don’t you see? In Britain and America we’ve got to grow up about these things. We’re forever banging on about how we want our politicians to be more human and then when they do show they’re human we condemn them for it.’
‘Well, yeah, I can see what you’re saying,’ said Adrian who then lowered himself down and kissed Matt. ‘You think a lot deeper than I do.’
‘That isn’t difficult.’
‘Don’t push it, mastermind.’
Matt cradled
Adrian’s face in his hands. The stubble on his face made it feel like sandpaper to Matt’s smooth hands and it got him hard.
‘Remember when you wouldn’t kiss me on the lips?’ said Matt.
‘Yeah’ said Adrian. ‘What a twat I was.’
‘You’d fuck me from here to next week but you wouldn’t kiss me on the lips because you said that would really make you gay.’
Adrian laughed at his own stupidity. ‘I know’ he said and then kissed Matt again. He did have the softest lips. ‘I can’t get enough of it now.’
‘Is that why you’ve never asked me to fuck you?’
‘I don’t understand?’
‘Well that really would be making you perhaps more gay than you want to be’ said Matt. ‘The penetration and all that. You know what I mean, Adrian.’
‘Yeah I do and I suppose that’s true, yeah. But I’ve never really thought about it, Matt, until you mentioned it. I get what I need from being inside you.’
They kissed again and Matt felt his erection twitch against Adrian’s. ‘Do you have time?’
‘Yes,’ said Adrian as he reached for another condom and picked it open with his teeth. ‘But this one will have to be a quickie though. It’s KFC bargain bucket night at our house and Penny normally goes for it about seven.’
‘Oh you sure know how to make a boy feel valued.’
They’d just finished making love when Adrian’s mobile rang. He reached out and picked it up. He said it was Penny calling and asked Matt to keep quiet whilst he answered it. Matt did as he was told just like he always did but it annoyed him. Listening to Adrian say ‘darling’ this and ‘darling’ that just really pissed him off.