She frowned. But then there was the problem that he spanked. He hadn’t made any attempt to spank her since that first day, but he’d made it clear that he wouldn’t hesitate. If she was honest with herself, she knew that he would only ever do that if she really deserved it, if she’d put herself in harm’s way, or somehow disrespected him or their relationship. If she was even more honest with herself, she knew that in an odd way, that first spanking had made her feel better. She’d known that even considering accompanying Ramone would have been foolish, but had been prepared to do it anyway and she shuddered to think what would have happened had he tried to corner her the way he had Julie and Louise. She still hadn’t told Luke about that, she thought to herself guiltily. But his spanking had made her feel, in a small way, that she had paid for her mistake and that there would be no grudges held, or further recriminations, provided, she guessed, that she had truly learned her lesson and didn’t repeat the performance.
However, that knowledge just didn’t sit well with the person she had always aspired to be – how could a modern, independent, intelligent woman possibly accept being spanked for her mistakes, how could she accept the dominance of her partner in her life. It just didn’t work. Maybe for some women, it would be fine, but she just couldn’t understand how she could reconcile things in her head.
Luke clearly didn’t think it was a problem at all. He’d reassured her time and time again that he had no issues with her career, the choices she made, her dreams or aspirations. He wasn’t trying to clip her wings, or take away her independence. But for her, the idea of having her panties drawn down her legs and being flipped over someone’s knee to be spanked like a child was the polar opposite of the feminist principles she’d always preached and the independence she had worked so hard to attain.
Frustrated with herself, she picked up the phone and from memory dialled Lily’s number. She knew her sister was likely to be at home marking papers; Elise was still abroad, flying back in a couple of days and Isabelle was most likely out downing martinis at one of the Soho bars she frequented, but Lily would probably be at home. Besides, of all her sisters, Lily was the one who she instinctively thought was the most likely to understand the mess that was going on in her head.
“Hey sis,” Lily answered as she picked up the phone, her caller ID revealing who was calling at this time of night. “How’s my favourite lawyer doing? Tell me you’re not still working on that contract?”
Megan laughed, automatically relaxing as she heard her sister’s familiar voice. “Unfortunately. It’s just going nowhere fast at the moment and, besides,” she paused. “I’ve been having problems concentrating on it.”
Lily immediately picked up on the unspoken thread running through her sister’s words. “What’s wrong, Meg? It’s not Luke is it? Has something happened?” she demanded.
“No, no. It’s nothing,” she reassured Lily. “It’s just— I don’t know. It’s ruining my concentration at work and I’m not getting anything done.”
“But why?” Lily answered, confusion evident in her voice. “The guy’s clearly nuts about you, what is there for you to be worrying about?”
Lily had met Luke last week. Although Elise and Isabelle had been out of town, Megan and Lily had arranged to go out for dinner and Lily had persuaded her sister to bring Luke along. Seeing as Megan and Luke had barely spent a night apart since they got together, Lily understandably wanted to meet the man Megan had talked so much about and Luke had been obviously pleased to meet her family. They’d gotten on really well and dinner had turned into post-dinner drinks that had lasted into the early hours of the morning. The closeness of the sisters had been immediately apparent and she could see that from the outset he’d treated Lily with the affection of an older brother, which Lily had loved.
“It’s difficult.” She hesitated. “He’s kind of old-fashioned about some things and, well, I just don’t know how that can work for us long term.”
“Old-fashioned?” Lily questioned, still sounding confused. “The air between you was sizzling! Even I could feel it! He can’t be that old-fashioned.”
“Lily!” Megan objected drily. “I don’t mean sex. I mean, well, he’s just got quite rigid views on things and he expects me to fall into line with that, even if I don’t necessarily agree.”
“Sorry Meg, but you’ve still got me really confused. Rigid views on what? The guy seemed really normal the other day.”
Megan sighed, figuring she wasn’t going to be able to beat about the bush with it anymore and reluctantly admitted, “Things like safety, he gets really worked up if he thinks I haven’t been cautious enough over things that could lead to trouble like, well, being around Ramone.”
“Ramone?” Lily asked, “You mean that dodgy guy you’ve been forced to work for? He sounds like a real piece of work. I can understand Luke being worried. We all told you the same thing when he hit on those girls you work with.”
“Yeah, well, he doesn’t know about that and I’m not keen to tell him, it’ll only make it worse.”
“What?” Lily quizzed her. “You’re kidding me? You’re dating this amazing guy who’s crazy about you and is understandably worried for you and you haven’t even told him about Ramone’s track record? Luke could actually help you and keep you safe from Ramone.”
“That’s the whole point Lily,” Megan replied, getting frustrated now with her sister, “I don’t need him to keep me safe; I can take care of myself, you know that. I thought you’d understand.”
“Meg, I do understand, I really do,” Lily’s voice softened, clearly concerned. “I know you can take care of yourself, you’ve always been strong and independent. But from what I’ve seen of Luke, he’s not a threat to any of that. He just cares, that’s all. I do understand why you’re worried but I really don’t think there’s any need for you to be.”
“He spanked me.” Megan said flatly.
There was silence on the phone.
“Lily?”
“Sorry. Um, okay...well.... Why’d he spank you?”
“What do you mean WHY did he spank me? Isn’t it enough that it happened at all?” Megan couldn’t believe that her baby sister wasn’t instantly angry on her behalf.
“Well. I’m guessing from what I’ve seen of Luke that it would have been for a reason. He’s not the sort of guy to do that without some sort of provocation.”
Megan sighed. “It was the first time I met him. He’d been in a meeting with Ramone and me and seen how Ramone was acting and Ramone asked me out for dinner with him that night. I was trying to think of an excuse not to go, but it wasn’t easy and Luke bailed me out. But then I yelled at him for interfering and, well,” her voice trailed off and she left Lily to fill in the gaps.
“And he spanked you for it?” Lily queried helpfully.
“I don’t know why I still agreed to go out with him after that, but I really liked him. I feel, I don’t know, he’s different to anyone I’ve been out with before. He takes charge of things, sorts things out and I don’t have to worry about them or constantly feel I have to do everything myself, but I’m not the kind of person who has ever wanted that before.”
“Maybe that’s because the kind of guys you’ve been out with before haven’t been up to standing up to you? You’ve just walked all over them and they wouldn’t have dared to stop you.” Lily now sounded amused. “You know, you and Isabelle aren’t as different as you think in that way; you’ve always picked wishy-washy guys whom you knew you could rule with a rod of iron. And now suddenly you’ve got the opposite on your hands! I think it’s kind of ironic.”
“Well you might think it’s funny, but I don’t. And there’s no way I can go out with a guy who thinks it’s his God given right to spank me whenever he feels like it!”
There was a short pause before Lily asked quietly, “Why not?”
“You know why not!” Megan was by this point all but shouting at her younger sister. “This isn’t the medieval world, Lily. Women fought for
years for equality and respect, not to be turned over some man’s knee who’s forgotten that a few centuries have rolled by since!”
“I know it’s not the medieval world, Meg,” Lily spoke quietly but fiercely. “But is a guy who wants to take care of you really so bad? Can you really not reconcile the person you are with his need to take responsibility for you? Maybe you need to take a closer look at it. And as for the spanking well, maybe there are more guys out there who spank and more women there who actually need to know that their men care for them enough to spank them than you might think.”
Megan was shocked. “Lily,” she murmured, “are you trying to tell me something?”
Lily laughed, although to Megan’s ears it sounded more than a little forced, “No. This is about your problems rather than mine. All I’m saying is maybe you’re being too judgmental about yourself. Maybe if you just give it a chance and let yourself be happy without trying to analyse it too much, it might surprise you. After all, it’s already been a month or so with him and you admit yourself you’ve never been happier, so maybe that’s what you should concentrate on.”
Megan sighed again. “You’re probably right. Maybe I’m making too much out of it, but it’s just difficult to get my head round and well, it kind of hurts.”
This time Lily’s laugh was definitely genuine and she seemed to find Megan’s comment hilarious. “Meg, even you must realise that it’s supposed to hurt otherwise there wouldn’t be much point to it!”
Megan had to admit that Lily had a decent argument.
“You know Meg, have you thought about how you actually felt after he spanked you?”
“Sore!”
“No, no. I mean later, after that.”
Reluctantly Megan admitted that she’d felt cherished, protected and almost relieved that there had been someone to take the decision about dinner with Ramone out of her hands.
“Then listen to yourself,” Lily advised, “and go with it. It may be the best thing you’ve ever done.”
Later, as she put the phone down, Megan smiled to herself. Maybe Lily was right, she should stop over analysing things and follow what her heart wanted rather than micro-manage her head. She sighed. She knew Luke had been patient with her above and beyond what he would probably have wanted, she knew that he wanted her to confide in him totally about her worries and problems and knew that he knew she was occasionally holding back still. But she also recognised that with each day that went by he was subtly pulling down more and more of her natural reservations. She grinned. Maybe, in Lily’s words, that wasn’t such a bad thing after all!
CHAPTER 4
At last! She’d finally finished that bloody agreement and hopefully they would be able to sign and complete the Ramone deal in the next few days.
It was strange, but in the days since she’d had that chat with her sister and her sister’s blunt advice had hit home, she’d been calmer and she’d rediscovered her ability to concentrate at work.
She called Luke on his direct work line, telling herself that technically it was a work related call.
“Luke Anderson,” he answered the phone, the sound of his deep masculine voice sending a little shiver of anticipation down her spine.
“It’s done!” she announced, not bothering with an introduction.
He laughed, his tone immediately lightening as he recognised her voice. “Hey love,” he said, “Missing me already?” he teased, knowing that she’d only left his apartment earlier that morning.
“Maybe, though you might just need to remind me what it is that I’m missing!” she teased back. “I’ve finished the changes that Ramone and Michael agreed to make to the sale agreement. I’m going to email it over to you now for you to take a look. If you and Michael are happy with it, I think we’re done. Everything else is in place, so they can then sign just as soon as they want.”
“Great,” he said. “Send it over, I’ll be able to get to it this afternoon. Michael’s keen to get things finished now as soon as possible. I think the girls are playing up still and he wants to get this done so he can tell them he’s definitely going to be at home with them more from now on.”
“Uh oh,” she said. “Are they okay?”
He sighed. “They’re still finding it difficult after Sarah’s death, but they’ll be okay. Actually, I said to Michael that when this was all done, I might go up and stay the weekend with them, if you fancy it?”
“Sure!” she said brightly, surprising herself. A couple of weeks ago, she’d have resisted, worried that it was too much too quickly. But now, she really felt she was finally living for herself rather than for the person she thought she should be and a weekend away visiting Michael, as well as Luke’s god-daughters, sounded like a lot of fun.
“Great,” he said, clearly pleased. “I’ll tell Michael.”
“Er...” she suddenly thought, “But does he know we’re seeing each other? Will he be okay with that? I don’t want him to think that you’ve compromised anything on the sale of his company,” worry was evident in her tone.
“Not at all,” he reassured her. “He knows me better than that. I haven’t told him officially that we’re together, but he suspects. He’s known me a long time and he’s been teasing me since the day we met and he saw how I reacted to you in that meeting room.”
“Oh!” she said, momentarily at a loss for words. She hadn’t realised that it had been that obvious and didn’t know whether to be embarrassed or pleased that one of his close friends had recognised it!
“Don’t be embarrassed,” he said, the light warning evident in his voice, “You’ve done nothing to be embarrassed about.”
She sighed audibly, “Yeah, I know.”
“So with the agreement pretty much done, why don’t we go out for dinner tonight?” he asked.
“Mmmm. That sounds nice,” she replied, thinking that it would be nice to go out without the thought of that agreement looming over her. “I’d like to go home first to shower and change, but why don’t I meet you somewhere?”
“I’ll pick you up from your apartment,” he countered, as, unseen to him, she rolled her eyes.
“Okay Mr. Protective!” Now it was her turn to tease him. “8 p.m.?”
“Behave yourself, love,” he growled, “And I’ll see you at 8 p.m.”
They said their goodbyes and she grinned to herself at how content she felt at the unexpected twist her life had taken.
* * * * *
That evening she was running slightly later than she’d wanted and when her doorbell rang she was still in her silky robe blow-drying her hair. She buzzed him in and left the front door slightly ajar so that he could let himself in and went into her bedroom to hastily finish applying her light coat of make-up.
She heard him come in just as she was putting the finishing touches to her lipstick and turned to him as he entered the bedroom, looping her arms round his next and smiling up at him. He looked down at her tenderly and bent down to playfully nip at her neck as she arched her body into his.
“Mmmm, you smell good,” he said, as he buried his face into her hair.
Jokingly, she squirmed away from him, “No touching,” she teased, “I’m running late!”
Reluctantly he loosened his hold on her, “Okay then, go finish up and I’ll wait in the living room,” he said and set her free, but not before he’d applied a sharp tap to her bottom.
“Ow! What was that for!” she accused him, her eyes widened.
“That’s for leaving the door open – I may not have been the only person coming through the hallway and anyone could have taken the opportunity to come into your apartment!”
She grumbled, “But I knew it was you!” as with one hand she rubbed her bottom through the silky robe, although she conceded that he probably had a point.
He pulled her back to him and dropped a kiss onto her forehead, “Safety first,” he reminded her gently, “I don’t want to risk losing you to some opportunistic nutcase, just because it seemed easier at
the time to leave the door open.” And with that he left her to finish dressing and wandered into the living room.
* * * * *
He took her to a new French place that had opened across town and they both admitted that the food was terrific as they shared the chateaubriand for two and, having decided to get a taxi to the restaurant rather than drive, a bottle of good red wine.
They chatted away the evening with the familiarity of lovers who had known each other for much longer than the handful of weeks that they had been together.
He looked at her tenderly from across the table and reached out to stroke the back of her hand. “Is it me, or have you been more relaxed these last few days?” he asked her.
She flushed. She hadn’t told him about her conversation with Lily, but she knew that she’d been more relaxed since talking with her sister. Truly, it had been like a weight lifting from her shoulders. Slowly, she began to recount to him Lily’s advice.
His eyes didn’t leave her for the entire time she was talking, but he didn’t interrupt. He just let her talk.
When she’d finished there was silence for a few moments until he said, slowly, “Well, I guess I have a lot to thank Lily for then.”
She gulped. “You don’t mind then?” she asked, bewildered. She’d been expecting a mini explosion from him at her revelation that she had had so many doubts.
“I’m not stupid, Meg. I knew you were struggling with things in your head. I’d just hoped that with time, the pieces would fit together for you.”
“But.... but,” she stammered, “You’re not angry? You’ve been saying so much how I had to trust you.”
He grasped her hand more tightly in his. “Meg, I know trust is earned and that it doesn’t come overnight. Yes, I want you to know that you can trust me unconditionally, with your body, your emotions and” he paused, “eventually, I hope, your love.”
Megan's Story, A Bentley Sisters Novel Page 5