by Jaleta Clegg
Paltronis shook her head uselessly. Rian was never going to believe her. "Lowell sent her here so she could save herself and all of you."
"He knew this was going to happen?" Harouk was skeptical and rightly so.
"I don't know what Lowell knows," Paltronis admitted. "He's Hrissia'noru, too. Where they are involved, no one knows what they're planning. I wonder if they even know sometimes."
"They planned this whole thing? I find that very hard to believe." Harouk was not buying it, even if it felt like truth to Paltronis.
"If she won't be the martyr for our cause," Rian said. "Then someone else will have to take her place."
She crossed the room to the wide bank of windows, shrouded in curtains. A single solid pull was all that was needed to bring the curtains crashing down. Rian stepped up to the window sill, the same spot where Kuran had sent Dagon falling to his death, though she didn't know it.
"For Shadowing!" she shouted.
"Rian, no!" Tilyn lunged for her, but he was too late.
She lifted the blaster to her head and pulled the trigger. The shock sent her reeling backwards, through the window to the pavement far below. Tilyn clutched at her as she fell. It was a useless gesture. She was dead. He leaned out the window, staring blindly at her broken body below.
The others moved more slowly. They joined him at the window.
"Why did she do it?" Harouk asked.
Tilyn shook his head, unable or unwilling to answer.
"She was crazy," Paltronis answered.
There were people starting to gather, staring up at the window and the people standing there. Paltronis could almost feel their accusing stares.
"It's best if you go back to your ship," Tilyn told Harouk.
"And what about Dace?" Paltronis put in. "She's the whole reason we're here."
"She's the reason we're here, also," Tilyn said. He sighed and straightened, away from the broken window. "She finished what her mother started. Like Rian planned. Although I doubt this is what she wanted at the end." He turned to them, seeming to grow taller as he took command of the room and the situation. "Dace is with the Hrissia'noru now, if she still lives. You'll have to talk with them."
He walked out, his back straight, his head high. But they could feel his grief trailing behind him.
"Maybe now they can really begin to rebuild their world," Harouk said. "Tilyn's a good man."
"You know him?" Paltronis asked. She was reaching for anything to keep her from dwelling on how pale and still Dace had been as the Hrissia'noru had carried her away.
Harouk nodded. "We worked together for years. Although I never saw his face until today. I don't think he knew who he was sending his messages to." He stepped back from the window. "We should go back. Let Leon and Everett know what happened." He started for the door.
Paltronis didn't move. He turned back to her.
"Do you think she might still be alive?" Paltronis hated the pleading in her voice.
Harouk shrugged. "She took a blaster hit, point blank. I doubt it."
"Tilyn said she was still alive. Why else would they have taken her with them?" She was grasping for straws, but the stubborn bit of hope refused to die.
"Then go talk to them," Harouk said. "Their ships are sitting next to Everett's."
Paltronis hurried from the room, barely noticing when Harouk and the others who had come on her doomed rescue mission fell in behind her. She would pound on their hatch until they talked to her. She would demand they give Dace to her. Dace deserved more than they would offer. The Hrissia'noru had turned their backs on her before, they would again. Paltronis wouldn't let them do that to Dace. Not if she could do anything at all to prevent it.
They made it to the ring of warehouses around the port. The one main road that led into the port itself was open, a long straight stretch of pavement. The gates that once blocked entrance to the port were ripped apart, torn and tangled along the sides of the road. Paltronis broke into a trot, heading for the distant curve of ships.
Harouk and the others kept up with her. She came out on the landing field. Instead of heading for the Windrigger, Everett's ship, she turned, running for the closest landing shuttle of the Hrissia'noru.
She saw Leon running to intercept her. His bright green and yellow jacket couldn't be missed by anything that wasn't completely blind. She didn't stop. She kept going, determined to get Dace, what was left of her, back from the Hrissia'noru.
"Paltronis," Leon panted at her heels. "Stop for a minute, will you?"
She kept going, though her own breath was coming shorter now.
"Listen to me," Leon begged her. Some note in his voice caught her attention. She slowed and finally stopped, turning to look at Leon.
She saw pain in his face, he was completely serious. His usual air of nonchalance was missing.
"I saw her," he panted. "They came by not long ago, carrying her. What happened, Paltronis?"
"Rian shot her, before she shot herself."
Leon rubbed his hand over his badly cut hair. "You should have left earlier."
"Don't you think I know that?"
"I'm not blaming you," Leon said hastily. "I just wish things had turned out differently."
She didn't answer. She started moving towards the Hrissia'noru ships again.
"Where are you going?" Leon hurried to catch up with her.
Paltronis didn't answer. She marched up to the hatch of the closest shuttle, right under the belly of the ship. She hammered against it with her fist. Over and over and over until her hands were bruised. There was no answer.
Leon tugged her sleeve. "Paltronis, you aren't doing anyone any good here. Come on, let's go back to our ship."
"No," she said, swiping at her eyes. She wasn't crying, she wasn't going to let herself cry. She hammered on the hatch again, a dull thumping that vibrated through her whole arm. "Not until I get an answer from them."
"Dace is gone, Paltronis. Really, truly gone this time." Leon was gentle as he pulled at her. "Let her go, Paltronis."
She shook her head, sending her short hair flying. "I can't, Leon. I let Tayvis go, but I won't let her go, too. Not both of them. Not this way. And not with them."
She hammered on the hatch. It was futile and she knew it, but she couldn't give in. She was much too stubborn.
Chapter 47
I floated in the silver fog. I weighed nothing, I felt nothing. No hunger or thirst or pain. No minds or emotions not my own intruded on the silver nothingness. I could watch my memories dispassionately. I felt numb, as if nothing mattered anymore.
I wondered for a while if I was dead. No, I couldn't be. This was nothing like what I'd felt when Mart had died. This was limbo, a waiting place. Maybe I was almost dead and just hadn't made it all the way yet. No, that was a stupid idea. I tried to reach out, with my mind or my body. I couldn't feel either. I drifted without purpose or meaning.
One moment I was alone, the next she was there with me, her presence drifting beside me. There was a wordless flow of communication between us. I pushed away from her, uncomfortable with the connection. I couldn't let go of my inhibitions about what life was supposed to be. This was nothing like what I'd ever imagined.
She withdrew. A moment later the silver light solidified. I stood on a floor made of silver fog, in a windowless room made of the same. She stood next to me, a slender woman of indeterminate age with silver hair and eyes. Her face was delicate, small and elfin and very familiar. I studied her, frowning. She was and she was not the woman I remembered.
"You aren't Myria'ssima," I said at length. My words echoed weirdly. I couldn't tell if I'd spoken them aloud or just thought them. It didn't seem to make a difference.
"No," the woman answered. Her mouth didn't move as she spoke. "I am not my sister. I am Corei'Neana, as you speak names." She tilted her head towards me. "You do not need to introduce yourself, not to me. You are Dace, as you have named yourself. Your name is not unknown. You have been calling us for some ti
me now. The delay was unavoidable." The last was an apology, directed to me.
"Where am I?" I asked.
"Physically?" Her eyebrows raised as she smiled in gentle amusement. "You are aboard our landing shuttle in a medunit. Your injury was quite severe."
"She shot me," I said, looking away from the woman. I couldn't stand the amused look on her face, or her gentle condescension towards me.
"Yes, but that is not the injury causing you pain."
I turned back to her. It was weird. I knew I wasn't moving physically, but I had a hard time not thinking in those terms. The woman, Corei'Neana, moved closer to me. Her hand brushed my face. I felt her power, her calm, in that touch.
"You have found your true self," she said after a long moment, putting into words what I should have known for myself. "But you fight your true nature. It causes you pain."
"I am not Hrissia'noru!" I pushed her away.
I was alone again in the silver mist. I floated for a timeless moment. I had nothing to do but think. So think I did.
Much as I denied it, I was one of them. I didn't want to be one of them. I didn't want to turn my back on everything and everyone I knew for something so strange. But I couldn't deny the power. I felt the broken place in my mind, a jagged tear that cut new gouges in my mind each time I touched the power. Was it because I fought so hard against being one of them? Was it because I tried so hard to deny who and what I truly was?
I'd come to Tivor hoping to die. Somewhere along the way, I'd found the will to live again. I had a family waiting somewhere, Jasyn and Clark, Darus, Ginni, and others. And now I had the Hrissia'noru.
No, I wasn't some kind of psychic. Even if I had great power, that wasn't me. It wasn't who I was. I was not Hrissia'noru.
"You cannot deny what you are," she said, suddenly beside me again.
"You're eavesdropping on my thoughts."
"It's difficult not to. You are so loud, so troubled inside your thoughts." She looked at me, her silver eyes full of concern. "The more you fight, the more it will damage you. You must accept what is."
"That I'm one of you?" I threw it at her, like a rock. "I would rather be dead." I stopped at the sudden thought. "Why am I not dead? You saved me. Why?"
"Because you are one of us."
I shook my head. "I can't be one of you."
"There are those you do not wish to leave behind." Her eyes were full of compassion. "I am sorry we did not find you before."
"Before it was too late to brainwash me into accepting you?" I knew I was wrong as soon as I said the words. They would not have done that to me, not these people.
These were the true people of Hrissia'noru. I shared her thoughts and knew what she knew. They were gathering those of their kind. They were moving away, seeking a new sanctuary where they could be left in peace. And where they would not be tempted to meddle in the peace of others.
"Isolation isn't the answer," I said.
"It is for us," she replied, certain in her own knowledge and the collective wisdom of the Hrissia'noru.
"I won't go with you."
"You are one of us. You will be accepted. You will belong as you have never belonged before. As you have longed to belong in your past."
"I have a family. What of them?"
My mind was full of memories. Jasyn smiling, laughing through snow. Clark teasing me. All of the others that had touched my life, made me belong, were there in my mind. I shared those thoughts and feelings and memories with Corei'Neana. I shared my connection, newly rediscovered, with my grandmother. I shared my deepest feelings, the grief over Tayvis and the gift he'd given me of loving me for what and who I was.
That was before I'd found the power that broke my mind. I wondered if he would still love me, if he were still alive to love me. I cried then, in my heart. Corei'Neana was there, sharing my pain. And giving me a new gift of healing.
I felt my soul grow lighter as she lifted the burdens I'd been carrying so long.
"So it may be, among us," she said quietly.
"Don't ask me to make that choice," I pleaded.
"Your time is short. You must choose."
I knew she felt the pain she caused me. How could I decide between Jasyn and my family and the Hrissia'noru and all they offered me? I had only begun to taste what it truly meant to be one of them.
She left me alone to think. I prodded the broken place in my mind, feeling the beginnings of healing. Corei'Neana had done much for me. But could I truly turn my back on everything and everyone I had ever known?
I couldn't deny it any longer. I was Hrissia'noru. But I was Tivoran. And I was Patrol. And I was Shellfinder Clan. And I was more besides. How could I choose to leave all of that behind me, forever?
Chapter 48
They came from the mountain in a silent wave, walking purposefully to Milaga and through the streets to the port. Not a child cried, not a person spoke. They walked silently and swiftly to the ships. The people of Tivor stayed back, awed at their presence. The Spirits of the Forest were leaving. Their people had come to claim them, after four hundred years. They were no longer Tevalis'noru, the Lost Ones. They had been found.
Paltronis was only dimly aware of their arrival. She crouched in front of the hatch, refusing to leave until someone came out to talk. Rain dripped around the ship. She was mostly dry, huddled underneath the curve of the landing shuttle.
The Spirits came into the port, walking through the afternoon rain like ghosts. They moved silently, splitting into three waves, dividing into the three ships. Those headed for the shuttle she sat under paused when they saw her.
A young woman stepped forward. She was vaguely familiar, but Paltronis was too tired to recognize her. She'd been awake for two days. She had no idea how much longer she would have to stand vigil at the hatch, either. There had been no sign of life for the last twenty four hours, not since they'd carried Dace inside.
The woman stopped a bare step in front of Paltronis. Her overcoat, a thick quilted jacket of deep green to match her eyes, was spattered with mud. It was the jacket Paltronis finally recognized.
"You," she growled, rising to her feet. "You sent her down that mountain to die."
"I did what had to be done," the woman answered.
Lanoni'lai, Paltronis remembered the woman's name. "You had no right!"
"She would have destroyed us all, if I had not," Lanoni'lai insisted.
"You did it to her, you broke through her shields. You should have helped her."
Lanoni'lai shook her head. "I could not have helped her, though I wanted to. She was too powerful for any of us. We could not help her."
"So you threw her out? She almost went mad."
"She was already mad. Why do you stay here and grieve for her? She lives. She is finally where she belongs."
Paltronis reeled back a step. Dace was still alive? But the Hrissia'noru had her now, and Paltronis knew they would never give her up.
"They are the only ones who can help her," Lanoni'lai said flatly. "You help her most by letting her go. Go to your ship, go back to your people. Dace is with her people now."
Paltronis shook her head. "She would never choose you, if you even give her a choice."
Lanoni'lai's face softened. "Go back to your ship. Let her die in your mind. It will be easier for everyone."
Paltronis found herself moved aside. Lanoni'lai led her people into the now open hatch. Paltronis watched stupidly until the hatch began to slide closed again. She lunged forward, too late. The hatch clicked shut. She pounded on it, screaming wordlessly.
"Paltronis, Cici, let it go for now," Leon said behind her.
She went limp. "Don't you dare call me that." But there was no force in her words.
"It's your name, Cici."
"Nobody calls me that and lives," she said as she let him lead her away from the hatch and into the rain.
"Beryn does regularly," Leon said with a grin.
"I'm not even going to ask how you know that."
>
"Paltronis," he said seriously as he led her into the airlock of the Windrigger. "She's gone."
"No, she isn't. That woman, Lanoni'lai, told me she was still alive."
"And you trust her? You saw Dace go down, so did Harouk. He said there was no way anyone could survive that."
"She did," Paltronis insisted. "I know she's still alive."
"You're going to tell me you're psychic, too?"
"A bit," Paltronis said with a shrug. "I can feel that she's still there, Leon. She isn't dead."
"But she's in their ship and we aren't going to get her out of there. The Hrissia'noru are more formidable than an entire army of Imperial lawyers."
"You're the best, Leon. You can get her out of there." Paltronis put every ounce of belief she could into that statement. Even if she had to make some of it up.
"You really think that?" Leon looked up at her, puffing out his narrow chest in its bright pink shirt.
"Yes," Paltronis said, and found she meant it.
Chapter 49
The silver fog never changed. Only I changed as I floated through it, my mind churning. Corei'Neana was back. She stood beside me, her body a construct of our minds, a way to make me feel more at ease. I felt the effort she made to maintain the illusion. I didn't know how to interpret her intentions.
"It is time to make your choice," she said. "We have gathered the Lost Ones. It is our time to go."
She turned her silver eyes on me. I met them and found myself falling into them. I saw what my future could be with the Hrissia'noru. I was narushui'zhri, one of only a handful gifted with all three powers. I would be valued, treasured for who and what I now was.
I would be valued for what I carried in my genes, for the powers I had, not for me. The truth struck me with all the force that Rian's blaster had. And it shattered the world around me just as thoroughly. I felt the silver fog shredding and fading.
"So be it," Corei'Neana said. She bowed her head in benediction.
I felt her in my mind, touching the broken place where my power bled into me.