by Dawn Brower
"Damn it, Noah. Gemma isn't like the females you know. She is innocent."
"I know that now." He shrugged his shoulders. "I didn't then, nothing to do about it now. I'm glad she's one of the good ones. You deserve to be happy."
Time would tell—Liam had his doubts about happiness with Gemma. They might find a certain level of it, but they'd probably fall short of finding true bliss.
"So do you. Don't discount finding someone to love again."
"Marriage isn't for me. I've already tried that route, and it left me devastated. I'm not about to open myself to that kind of pain again."
"I know you feel that no other female can compare to Rubina. You loved her, but she's gone. Don't let her death ruin your life."
"It's not as simple as that. I never told you how we argued that day." Noah's face grew dark, and sadness permeated his eyes. His eyes scanned the room never fully looking at Liam. "She left because she needed a break from me. She told me that I was too intense for her, and she couldn't be my everything. I needed to find a way to live without her. She got her bloody wish. The only problem is I'm merely surviving, without her I've always been a little lost. I don't want another wife. There's no way I'll put a female through the tragedy of getting too close to me."
"You might change your mind someday," Liam said, "I hope you do. I'd like my friend to be happy again."
"I doubt it. I'm not meant to have a family. You get rather used to being alone when your parents die when you're still a child." Noah said. "But that isn't the issue right now. We need to figure out how to get back into your wife's good graces."
"Gemma doesn't hold a grudge. She'll forgive you." Liam shook his head, disgusted with himself. "Me, on the other hand, she will make grovel. This isn't the first time we've had a disagreement. We tend to quarrel a lot."
"That's another form of heat between you. Just channel it in another way. She'll forgive you."
"Of course she will, eventually," Liam said. "I'm not sure she'll accept me in her bed just yet. We had a rather unusual courtship. By that I mean we haven’t had one at all."
"How did you end up married to Lady Gemma of all women? Last I knew you didn't intend to get married any time soon."
"That I didn't. It's Lily's fault."
"What does your sister have to do with it?" Noah asked baffled.
"Gemma is her friend. Lily wrote Father asking him to help her. Gemma’s cousin, Alfie, intended to force her to marry him so he could get his hands on her money."
"So your father made you marry her?"
"No, he'd never insist on that. He learned his lesson about forcing one of us to marry against our will a long time ago, as you know." Liam took another swig of his brandy. "He suggested two options. Marriage only if I cared for the girl. I had every intention of going through with the other plan until I saw Alfie attacking Gemma. I jumped in and claimed her before I knew what I was doing."
"Marrying her was your first instinct?" Noah asked.
"Yes, and pummeling my fists into Alfie as soon as she left the room."
"Now that makes a bit more sense. That's the Liam I know." Noah's laugh echoed through the room.
"He deserved it. When I walked in, I found him groping her, and the bodice of her dress ripped."
"I'm sure he did deserve it. I'm not arguing with you. I applaud your restraint. I may have murdered him myself."
"If he ever comes near Gemma again I might do that."
Liam didn't like the idea of anyone ever touching his wife. He would commit murder in order to protect her. She didn't know exactly what he was capable of, but she should. When he told her he took care of what belonged to him, he meant it.
Someone came by and refilled his glass. He picked it up and swished the contents around. The aroma filled his nose, enticing him; he tipped it back and drank it in one swig. This time the burn made him feel good as it traveled down his throat. He set the empty tumbler down on the table and stood up. The room spun around a bit, and he grabbed onto his chair for support.
"You should go home to your wife. It's getting late. Do you need help getting home?"
"I'm only slightly foxed. I think I can manage to get home on my own." Liam tilted backward a bit. He held out his arms to steady himself. Who the hell made the room spin?
"Right. I can see how capable you are. Come on, I'll give you a lift in my carriage."
"All right. I think that perhaps you're right."
"I'm always right." Noah reminded him as he helped him up.
Noah stood up next to Liam, and they left the club. Liam's stumbled forward in a haze as he followed his friend to his carriage. He climbed inside and fell in a clumsy heap on one of the seats. Noah motioned for the driver to start moving, and the slow rock of the carriage made Liam’s stomach churned with each rotation.
"You're not going to be sick, are you?"
"I must be looking pretty green for you to be asking me that," Liam said. "I'm fine. Just a little dizzy."
He could see the skepticism in Noah's eyes, but he told the truth. He didn't feel sick at all. Simply disoriented.
"You do look like hell. I haven't seen you drink this much in a very long time. I suppose you picked a good time to get seriously inebriated. Marriage does that to a man. Throws us all off balance."
"Right. Probably shouldn't have married her. Thanks for pointing that out to me," Liam said with a lot of sarcasm. "Don't really regret it though, don't know why."
"Maybe you should figure out why. It might be an important detail you're suppressing."
Gemma once told him she loved him. What were the chances she still did? How would that play a part in their marriage? Liam's heart beat hard inside his chest. His breathing became more rapid. He rubbed his hand over the ache beneath his ribs—something was wrong with him.
Did he want Gemma to still be in love with him?
Surely she'd have given up on that girlish wish. What would he do if she hadn't stopped loving him? Could he learn to love her? Perhaps he could...
Liam knew one thing for certain, he needed to court his wife. Not tonight though, his drunken state was less than desirable. He had one final thought right before he passed out cold. It's a good thing he didn't intend on making love to Gemma once he made it home. He would be a dismal failure as a lover, and she deserved a special night.
Liam couldn't give it to her, so they would have to put off their wedding night—he was a bloody fool.
CHAPTER SIX
Gemma had heard her husband come in late. The constant fumbling and failed attempt at a quiet murmur woke her up. She didn't know who had helped him to his bed and did not care.
The fact that someone had to assist him told her all she needed to know.
Liam had decided to carouse with friends and get inebriated instead of spending time with her. His actions caused a feeling of deep hurt and betrayal; the pain threatened to swallow her whole.
After a short time, the door next to hers opened and closed with a muffled thud. Soft footsteps could be heard in the hallway as they passed by her bedroom door, indicating that her husband's rescuer had left. Gemma had no desire to see who had aided Liam, but she did have an overwhelming need to talk with her foolish husband.
She got up out of bed and donned her wrapper. Crossing the room she opened the door and took slow, silent steps towards the bedroom next to hers. Stopping in front of the closed door she started to doubt the wisdom of visiting her husband's room.
Did she really want to go in there?
Yes, she did—Liam needed to know what a nitwit he was. She opened the door and walked inside before she changed her mind. Light from the moon streamed through the room and gave it an eerie glow. On tiptoes, she moved with as much stealth as she could manage over to the bed where she saw Liam's body spread in a haphazard fashion across its vast space.
The bed, a rumpled mess, much like the clothes still hanging on Liam's lax body, gave the impression of chaos. The person who had brought him home had si
mply dumped him on the bed. One boot stood on the floor next to the bed, the other on its side in front of the bedside table.
"Liam," she whispered. When he didn't answer she said in a louder more firm voice, "Liam, wake up."
"Hmm—what—Gemma?"
"Good, you're awake I want to discuss something with you."
"Not a good time." His voice still held the remnants of his drunken escapade. He slurred over his words, but Gemma didn't care. She had something to say and intended to say it whether he liked it or not.
"I'm not happy, Liam. I don't think we should have gotten married. If you hadn't been so adamant, I wouldn't have done it. I love you, but I don't want to be married to a man who doesn’t feel the same. I think we should have our marriage annulled."
Gemma looked over at her husband and saw that his eyes had fallen closed again. Dratted man, he hadn't been listening to a word she'd said.
"Liam!" she shouted at him.
His eyes flew open and scoured her face. With a slow lazy he smile his gaze fell on hers with an intensity she didn't quite understand. He sat up and reached for her.
"Ah, lovely Gemma. Come here."
Seriously? Apparently alcohol consumption had turned her husband into an idiot. No way did she intend to get any closer to him.
"No. You're not listening to me. I don't think that's a good idea." She scrambled backward and out of his reach.
"You're wrong, love. It's the best idea I've had in a long time."
Liam leaned forward, grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him. She fell forward and placed her hands on his shoulders to brace herself. He wrapped his arms around her and captured her lips with his. Heat filled her as he kissed her with an urgency she didn't understand. She opened her mouth in a gasp, and he took advantage by pushing his tongue inside. His tongue danced with hers and coaxed her into pressing deeper into his arms. She reached up and ran her hands through his light blond hair and pulled the strands firmly through her fingers.
He groaned and started to place light kisses on her cheeks and down her neck. He stopped to untie her wrapper and pushed it off her shoulders. She watched as it pooled at her feet. Liam slipped her nightgown over her shoulder so that her bosom gleamed brightly in the moonlight.
"Perfect." He caressed each breast with his hands and licked one of her tight nipples. A thousand sensations traveled down her body and merged into a bundle of energy between her thighs. Gemma's emotions were all over the place with each new feeling Liam brought out of her. He made her feel too much, but she wanted more from him than passion. She had to stop before it went too far. They needed to get the marriage annulled. If they consummated their marriage that option would no longer be available to them.
Gemma could feel him start to push her gown further down her body and trail kisses across her stomach as she stood before him. She held her breath and let herself get lost in his touch. For a brief moment, it was everything she wanted. She could pretend Liam loved her. Until reality snapped her back to the present—giving her a good look at what this would all mean. She couldn't give into her desire. As much as she'd like to be with Liam in every way possible it would only lead to a devastating heartbreak. She had to stop him… and soon, before it was too late. Everything he did to her had an amazing effect on her body, and she would kill to know how it all would feel, but the price was too high.
"Liam, we shouldn’t be doing this," Gemma whispered.
He kept going as if deaf to the sounds around him. Completely engrossed in the task at hand, he ran the palm of his hand across her hips and with innate slowness trailed his fingers across her buttocks. As he explored, Gemma's body lit up into a tight, overwhelming tangle of need. He left a trail of heat with each caress. A long drawn out moan escaped her mouth as an unrelenting pressure built up inside her.
"That's right, love. Feel it, let go," Liam whispered in her ear. He continued to stroke her flesh as he spread kisses all over her neck and bosom.
She looked into her husband's eyes, and they reflected her own desire. They hadn't gone too far, yet. She could still stop this. But, she didn't want to. Liam made her feel so amazing. He played her body as adeptly as a violist plucked the strings of their instrument. Her body wanted him to keep going—to see where it all might lead. Gemma couldn't give into those base instincts. Her first instinct should be to protect her fragile heart. It thrummed so loud inside her chest it almost deafened her, as if it pleaded with her for mercy. This couldn't happen… she had to end it. Stepping back she pulled her gown back up and picked her wrapper up. Putting it back on, she tied it tightly across her breasts.
"What are you doing, Gemma?"
"This isn't why I came here, Liam. I don't want this."
"You could have fooled me, love. You were just moaning with pleasure."
"Pleasure is an empty feeling when there is no love to sustain it. I don't want this with you. I tried to tell you that, but you got lost in your wants," Gemma said with a wobbly voice.
"You're saying you don't want me."
She could hear the anger in Liam's tone. Rage laced with confusion and pain. She hadn't handled this well, but she had to protect her heart. Only he had the power to destroy her emotionally.
"Want is a relative term. I'm sure you could make me want you a whole lot. You demonstrated that rather well a few moments ago. I'm asking you to leave me be. I can't be intimate with someone when love is absent. I'd rather we didn't visit that aspect of our marriage."
"It's a mistake," Liam said.
"I don't believe so. I think it’s the only way I can ensure neither one of us does something we will regret."
"It's already too late for that. Just go, Gemma. I'm still a little drunk, and I'm afraid I'll say something that will come back to haunt me later." Liam sat on the bed with his head bowed. He scrubbed his face with his hands.
"We should discuss..."
"I told you to leave. Please don't make me repeat myself, unless you're willing to stay and finish what we've already started." Derision filled his voice. "You've left me in quite a state of unrest. I might be willing to allow you to pleasure me in another way if you're so eager to stay."
Gemma could see a large bulge filling his breeches. It appeared to grow under her direct scrutiny. One day her curiosity would be her undoing, but today would not be that day. She would not allow herself to explore any part of Liam's gorgeous body.
"No need to be crude. I told you I hadn't come in here for that. It's not my fault you assumed I had."
"And yet you didn't mind it all that much when I touched you, did you?" He raised his eyebrows in question.
"Well, I can't deny it had a certain pleasantness to it. It doesn't mean I wish to repeat it. I will take your leave now."
She turned to go with as much dignity as she could muster. The sight of his growing manhood caused tingles to crawl up the base of her spine as nerves pooled in her belly. Part of her itched to reach out and touch him, to learn everything she could, but she couldn't give into that desire. She still had a deep-rooted need inside her. One she knew that only he could sate, and yet she also realized it could never happen. Not for the sake of her sanity.
"You can run, Gemma, but you can't hide. This thing between us can't be ignored." Liam laughed.
Gemma reached the door and turned to look at him. He still sat before her with his trousers now open and leaning his arms back against the bed. His gaze held every temptation she tried to escape from. Liam had always been her undoing. Too bad he also couldn't prove to be her salvation.
"Who said anything about hiding? I don't plan on going anywhere. Good night."
Gemma's heart raced and pounded against her chest. Things hadn't gone at all how she thought it would. Nothing ever did where Liam was concerned. He drove her mad, and she couldn't help how he made her feel. She had always loved him and no matter what,she knew she always would.
Her love had never been in question.
Gemma’s position had already been lai
d out and stomped on. His feelings toward her were the reason she held back. She didn't lie to him. She needed more than pleasure, no matter how wonderful it made her feel. What she desired above anything else in the world was for her husband to love her. If she could make that a reality then her marriage would no longer be a sham. Nothing else could make her life any more perfect.
CHAPTER SEVEN
A constant drum of pain beat with a steady and consistent rhythm against Liam's skull. The afternoon sun streamed through the window, and he could feel its blinding intensity skimming across his eyelids. The very idea of opening his eyes made him want to turn over and cover his head with his pillow. Liam might consider it except a cold draft had settled over his body, and he struggled to get warm.
Why had he gone to bed without covering himself with a blanket?
Lifting one eyelid into a small slit to canvass the situation, it all came crashing back to him at the sight of his tousled bed. Gemma had come to see him, in his bedroom, and he'd made a fool of himself. For one glorious moment, the experience held every fantasy that played through his mind. The pure bliss of holding her, tasting her, and hearing her soft moans filled him with an unsurpassable desire—until it all crashed and burned.
Liam remembered Noah had helped him up to his room and torn the bedsheets down his bed before finally pushing him onto it in a disorderly manner. Then, he had closed his eyes, oblivious to the world around him. That was until Gemma wandered into his room. Somehow his boots had been removed, but the particulars escaped his brain. The rest of his clothing, although messy and wrinkled, remained on his body as he lay on the bed. No doubt he should at least thank his friend for getting him this far; he'd probably have passed out at his club if not for his assistance.