by Dawn Brower
She turned to look at him. "You mean after my father died? I just began ordering ball gowns and more appropriate clothing a few months ago. I haven't been out much. Alfie didn't allow it. I had a seamstress visit me at home to prepare the gowns before he could prevent it from happening. Otherwise, I wouldn't have any new gowns at all. He even sequestered me. I couldn’t visit my friends or having them visit with me. Although the only person that tried, besides the day you came to retrieve me, was Pearla. No one else realized anything was wrong. I managed to get someone to mail a few letters to Lily, but a lot of my missives got confiscated by my nefarious cousin. I despaired of ever being allowed outside the walls of my former home ever again."
"I hadn't realized that the situation had gotten so dire. At least Lily was able to contact my father."
"Hmmm yes. Speaking of your father, he stopped by while you were out. We had an interesting discussion."
"Really?" Liam raised his eyebrows.
What had his father done? Did he make the situation worse with Gemma? No, that wasn't possible. He messed up all on his own. Still, he'd plan on having a conversation with him to get all of the details of his visit.
"He was under the impression the plan hadn't included us getting married. He agreed with me that you are losing your mind."
"I assure you my mind has all of its faculties intact."
"We will have to agree to disagree. I just haven’t seen much evidence to the contrary."
"I admit my behavior… has been less than savory lately. In my defense, you do drive me to the point of insanity at times."
Gemma looked him directly in the eyes. She pursed her lips as anger filled her eyes. Sparks flew out of them as her brows drew closer together, and her forehead crinkled in displeasure.
"You dare blame me for your turbulent moods? I have no control over your emotional state. Don't pretend I do for even a moment. I won't have you hold me responsible for your bad attitude."
That's much better. He enjoyed having her all to himself. All of her emotions steamrolling forward, right in his general direction. Liam tilted his head back and studied her. A half smile filled with cockiness spread across his face.
"Aren't you? I am usually an even-tempered person. Since I married you, I have been one big mess of disturbing outbursts. I can't seem to control what my next action may or may not be. I think you are entirely at fault for my state of being since I first walked in and saw Alfie attacking you."
"I'm not going to argue with you. You are clearly out of your mind. I intend to have fun tonight, and I refuse to allow you to ruin my good mood."
Good mood? Liam restrained from laughing. Who did she think she was fooling? She was most definitely not in a good mood.
"Fine. I only have one request."
"And what makes you think I will honor it?"
"Because if you don't I will instruct the driver to turn the carriage around and take us home."
"Oh, all right, you win. What do you want?"
"I want you to put me down for the first waltz of the evening."
Gemma crossed her arms across her chest and glared at him.
"No. I don't want to dance with you."
Liam sighed. Gemma would argue with him about anything. If he said the sun rose in the sky she'd shake her head and tell him that it did not raise, it, in fact, fell each day. Why couldn't she agree to one dance? What made her want to avoid him? The kiss they'd shared seemed to sear right through her. Was she afraid of her feelings? It was time to test her reserve.
"Very well. I shall inform the driver we wish to skip the ball."
"No. I will put you on my dance card. You don't have to be so difficult. I don't even know why we are arguing about this. Never once did you want to dance with me willingly in the past. Lily had to practically force you too."
"Times change, I'm not the same man I was a couple years ago." Liam looked her in the eyes, pleading her to give in, accept him once more. He reached for her hand and rubbed his thumb over her palm. "Just give me a chance to prove it to you."
The green depths of her eyes remained unmoving. She studied him for several seconds. He kept moving the pad of his thumb over her hand, coaxing her into compliance. Her expression softened, her lips parted, and the tension left her body.
"I don't know if I'm willing to take that risk. A dance is more than I want to give to you, but I will acquiesce to your demands. I want to attend the ball, and I'm willing to do whatever is necessary to make that happen."
"I will take whatever you are willing to give me. In time I hope it's everything. For now I will settle for a dance."
Gemma didn't say anything else for the rest of the journey to the Silverton Ball. Liam allowed her to remain silent. He said all he could on the subject for the time being and had meant every word he said. Patience wasn't always one of his strong suits, but for Gemma he would be. Liam played to win because if he didn't he would lose it all.
He refused to allow for that possibility.
Liam clenched his hands open and closed several times. Gemma wouldn’t leave him. He needed her. In time, she'd come around. He wouldn't think about the possibility of losing her. It just would not—could not happen. Instead, he'd concentrate on the upcoming ball. At least he'd be able to hold her in his arms as they danced. He'd achieved that goal, and he'd attain them all. Liam looked forward to each battle because in the end they'd both win. They'd have each other always.
After several moments, the carriage came to a halt in front of the Silverton residence. The carriage door opened, and Liam stepped out. He reached in and offered his hand to assist Gemma. With a delicateness ingrained in her she placed her hand in his. He helped her out, and they walked inside to attend the ball.
So far, Liam believed the night progressed towards meeting every one of his expectations. Soon he would be able to hold Gemma in as they danced in the waltz. A tingle of energy flowed through his veins, an awareness of her beside him. His fingers itched to reach out and just touch her, draw her close to him.
In the past, he dreaded the possibility, but now he looked forward to it with a glee he couldn’t explain. Happiness bubbled inside him and hope filled him to the brim. Nothing could ruin this night for him.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Gemma walked alongside Liam as they strolled towards the opening of the ballroom. They waited until they were announced and made their entrance for the first time as husband and wife. Gemma found the moment incredibly ironic. At one time, she would have given anything for them to enter on each other's arms as a married couple.
Now all she wanted to do was cringe when the announcement was made.
Small gasps and whispers filled the room. Heads turned to stare at them as they walked into the ballroom. Gemma held back tears from falling. She knew her marriage to Liam would be a shock to the ton—but she'd hoped that it wouldn't cause too much of a stir. A futile endeavor it seemed as eyes followed them throughout the room. Gemma didn't doubt they were all gossiping about them. Instead of letting them see how much it bothered her she held her head high and pasted a smile on her face. Outward appearances would go a long way into making them think they had no power over her.
Pain stabbed her chest as she sucked in a breath of discontentment. No, she would not think of things she couldn't change. Liam may be her husband, but she refused to allow him access to her innermost feelings. He gave up that right and Gemma rejected any possibility of allowing him to know how much she still loved him. Even though a tiny part of herself realized she still hoped for him to love her in return. That forthcoming collision of dueling emotions threatened to surface, and she needed to escape him if she had any chance of getting it under control.
She looked over and spotted Pearla and found the excuse she desperately sought to leave Liam's side. Pearla looked over at her anxiously, and Gemma knew she must have questions. She probably already received her invitation to the schedule dinner party. The time had come for her to explain her newly married state t
o her second best friend. Lily would always be her first and the one person she told everything to, but Pearla had filled up a hole in her life with Lily's absence.
"If you will excuse me I see a friend I've desperately wanted to talk to for some time," Gemma told Liam.
"I will escort you there."
Why couldn't he just let her go off on her own? She didn't need him to watch over her every move. Gemma needed some space, and Liam’s hovering made her feel closed in.
"You don't need to. I can find my own way."
"I insist. I would like to meet your friend."
Gemma opened her mouth and closed it into a pursed, straight line. Her gaze skirted over the crown and the prying eyes. They all seemed to wait for something to erupt between her and Liam. Did they know her marriage was a farce? Gemma refused to give them the show they appeared to be expecting. She didn't want to provide the ton with anything else to gossip about. No doubt they had already wondered about her hasty marriage. That at least she could brush off with the marriage contract Liam had procured miraculously. Gemma nodded in agreement and twined her arm with Liam's. If he wanted to deliver to her friend's side, she'd allow it. Once they reached their destination, she could send him on his way. She led her husband over to where Pearla stood and introduced them.
"Liam, I would like you to meet my dear friend, Miss Pearla Montgomery. She is. I hope, going to join us for dinner in a couple of days." She turned to her friend and smiled brightly. "Pearla, my husband, Liam Marsden."
"It's nice to meet a friend of my wife," Liam said. A charming smile grew on his face as he bowed to her. "Perhaps you will honor me with a dance later."
"Oh, well. I don't know." Pearla looked up at Gemma. After she had nodded in approval, Pearla looked back at Liam. "I suppose that would be all right. I can fill you in for the second dance. I assume you will want to dance with Gemma first. It is a waltz."
"I do indeed. If you will excuse me, ladies, I see a friend I haven't seen in a while. Gemma, I shall be back soon to dance with you. I would also like you to mark me down for every waltz."
Gemma's mouth hung open. She had closed it quickly before anyone took notice. Every waltz? Liam was most definitely losing his mind. It wouldn't do, and she'd have to make him realize what a mistake that would be. She looked down at her dance card and the dances scheduled for the evening. They had several dances planned—three of them waltzes.
"That’s a bit much, Liam. People will talk if we dance that many times. I'm supposed to leave it open for other men to dance with me."
"I don't care. I claim them as my right. I'm your husband, and I refuse to share them all with other men."
Liam's lips were set in a firm line. The color of his eyes darkened to a deep blue. His jaw clenched, locking into place as his eyes became firmer—demanding he be obeyed. Was he jealous? No, he had no reason to be. He was just being his usually overbearing self. Still, it was… nice. Maybe he wanted her, and this was his way of expressing it. Gemma tilted her head and studied him.
Perhaps he did, but the man needed to be disabused of the notion he could dictate to her. She opened her mouth to tell him just that and thought otherwise. It wouldn’t do to put him in place with words. Actions spoke volumes, and she'd find a way to get through to him. It was best just to appear to acquiesce to his wishes for now.
He'd learn—the hard way.
"Fine. I will put your name down for them all."
"Good. I will take your leave now."
Gemma glared at his back as he retreated across the room. Dance every waltz with him? Not going to happen... Someone else was just going to have to dance one of them with her. A man brave enough to stand up to her husband as he could be a little intimidating. All she needed was time to locate a gentleman willing to dance with her. Liam would be angry, but she could deal with it. Gemma would allow her husband to have two of them. He'd just have to accept one had to go to another man. She hated when people gossiped about her.
"Your husband is quite the charming fellow, now please explain to me how you happened to find yourself married to him," Pearla said.
She looked at her friend and admired her golden blonde hair. She had it pulled back into a chignon; tiny tendrils of wispy curls framed her face floating around her ears and neck. Her cerulean blue eyes glowed with anticipation and concern. Her heart-shaped face tilted inquisitively as she waited for Gemma to answer her question.
"It's a long story." Gemma sighed.
"Well lucky for you I have plenty of time. I have lots of questions. It's nice to finally be able to talk to you. I have to admit I was rather surprised by the hand-delivered invitation. I didn't even know you were no longer at the country house of the new Earl of Devon. How did that little weasel react to your marriage? I would have loved to witness that."
Pearla hated Alfie almost, if not more, than Gemma did. They had taken an instant dislike for each other. It probably had something to do with his lecherous nature and her unyielding independence. Pearla was not encumbered with a guardian. The sum of her wealth was inherited from her grandmother without any stipulations. She was the only unmarried female free to do whatever she wished without answering to a male relation.
"Alfie thought to marry me himself."
"I heard he racked up quite a bit of debt and ran through all of the money he inherited with your father's estate."
"Indeed he did. He thought marrying me would help him get out of debt. It probably would have temporarily until he wasted all of my inheritance."
"So how did you get out of marrying him? I assume by latching on to that handsome devil you married, but how did that go about?"
How to answer that? Did she tell her friend the complete truth or continue to deny what her heart constantly tried to beat into her head?
"Liam is very handsome. Don't let that fool you. He can be just as devious as any man." Gemma sighed and considered her next words. "But he also has a protective streak to go along with it. If not for him I don't know where I'd be right now."
"Oh, I'm sure he can be. Most men are capable of it on some level." Pearla pinned her with her gaze. "You are dodging my question. What don't you want me to know?"
"A lot. I don't want to talk about it. Perhaps I should though. It would probably help to get it all out, and then maybe I can let it go. I'm not sure where to start."
"Try the beginning."
Gemma stopped and looked at the ground. She didn't want to discuss any of it. Unfortunately, she also knew she needed to let it out, or she'd burst. No one was better to converse about it with than her friend. She didn't have an invested interest in the outcome.
"That would take us back to before we met. When I was first introduced to Liam. He is Lily's twin brother."
"I thought they may be related. I was just not sure exactly how. Go on, explain the rest."
A dreamy look came over Gemma as she remembered the first meeting. Liam had been so incredibly handsome. His blond hair glowed in the sunlight, and his blue eyes burnt with unrepressed delight. He and Lily had been laughing over some joke she hadn't been privy too. That first glimpse ruined her for anyone else. She wanted to have him look at her with love and happiness.
"I fell in love with him the moment I met him and yet thought him completely unattainable. I squashed all of those feelings and thought I never had a chance with him. If you had asked me even a week ago, I'd still believe that. I still do if I am being honest. I don't know why he married me. The truth is he didn't have to, and I'm even more confused now that I ever was."
Pearla's eyes squinted with confusion. "I don't understand. He married you to save you from your cousin right?"
"Yes, he did."
"What other option did he have?"
"He could have escorted me to Lily," Gemma explained. "Of course, Alfie might have come after me there. I doubt he'd have let it go, but he wouldn't have been able to make me come back to England, once I was safely with Lily."
"Ah, I see your point. He cou
ld have made you miserable though. Alfie's good at that. Maybe Liam has feelings for you."
Gemma shook her head. "No, I don't believe he does."
"Does he know how you feel about him?"
"Yes. Well, he did. I had this attack of conscience a couple years ago and thought of course I will never have a chance if he doesn't know how I feel about him. I confessed my love only for him. His eyes were cold as he looked down, said he didn't feel the same way and had no intention of ever marrying. Words can't express how crushed my heart was. I didn't think I would ever recover. Maybe I never did. I can't allow myself to trust what I feel, and I am even more leery of Liam."
"What a fool." Pearla placed her hand on Gemma's arm, attempting to reassure her. "Maybe he finally realized how much you mean to him."
It took everything she had not to laugh. It was so nice to have Pearla to talk to, someone so completely on her side. She needed this in the worst way.
"No. I think it is some misplaced duty to his sister. Lily asked her father to help me. She knew about Alfie's plans for me and wanted me to come live with her. Liam and the viscount devised a plan to help me escape and go live in America with her. Something changed in Liam's mind when he arrived and saw Alfie attacking me." Gemma shook her head, cleared away the unwanted image of her cousin. "Liam didn't marry me because he has unrequited love for me. He did it to protect me from my horrid cousin. Running away wasn't the answer. Alfie would have chased me to the ends of the Earth."
"Do you still love him?"
Gemma started to fidget. Now was the time to admit how much she did need Liam. She didn't want to, but the time had come to be honest with herself. She had never stopped loving the dratted man. She couldn't breathe without thinking about him and the love still burning inside of her.
"Yes. I know I shouldn't. I am fighting every feeling I have for him. My mind keeps telling my heart to give up, but it still holds hope."
"I'm so sorry, Gemma. I can't be mad at him though. He did save you from that awful cousin of yours. I know you are miserable right now, but I agree with him." Pearla embraced her in a quick hug and stepped back. "Alfie would not have given up on attaining you for his wife if you had merely run away. He needed your money too much to let you go that easily. I wouldn't be surprised if he still had a plan hatching in his greedy mind."