by Gwyn McNamee
Holy shit.
Never in a million years did I contemplate that her watching me play a simple game of basketball would affect her like this, but her body language matches her words. She wants it. Me. Badly.
“Well, as wonderful as that sounds, and fuck, you have no idea how much I want to take you up on that, we would have an audience.” I tip my head toward the rest of the guys who are slowly making their way toward us, and the locker room, and then take a swig of my water.
“I don’t see that as a problem.”
I choke on the liquid in my throat and cough uncontrollably at her words.
Christ. Public sex? And here I didn’t think she could get hotter.
She has the audacity to laugh at my reaction, and she doesn’t apologize. The guys reach us and I have to take a deep breath to steady myself before introducing them.
“Guys, this is Dani. Dani, these are the guys.” She smiles at them and gives them a little wave and they all do the same before she moves out of the way and they disappear down the hall.
When they’re gone, she moves closer to me and leans in. “So, it seems we are alone.”
“For now, but I’m sweaty and disgusting and you are here to work out.” I grin at her and she does the same, stepping back from me. She knows I know she’s full of shit about her reason for being here. She came to see me, whether she wants to admit it or not, and that is the biggest fucking ego boost she’s ever given me. “Give me twenty minutes and I’ll be ready to go.”
“That will be a pretty short workout.”
“Better make it count, then,” I call over my shoulder as I pass her on my way through the door.
The moment I enter the locker room, they descend on me.
“What the fuck, Savage? How come you never mentioned her?”
They all watch me expectantly. I realize I have no answer to their questions.
Why didn’t I tell any of my friends about Dani?
Other than Gabe and my family, I haven’t spoken to anyone about her and that suddenly seems very odd. I’m sure it’s a product of the lingering fear that she’ll change her mind and run. It’s a lot easier to deal with something like that happening when no one knows about her in the first place.
After Becca ended our engagement and I returned home, the friends who checked in with me always wanted to talk about it, anything to avoid talking about the accident or my injury. How discussing my torpedoed engagement was any better is beyond me, but it was painfully obvious the only way to avoid discussing it was to avoid talking to anyone who knew about it. So my old friends fell pretty much to the wayside and I concentrated on what I could control—my work, the business.
Now, the thought of going through that again, of having to explain to my friends why my relationship failed, seems too painful to comprehend.
“Because it’s still pretty new, guys. We’ve only been together a couple weeks.”
“Yeah, but, dude, she’s fucking gorgeous!”
No shit.
She’s fucking gorgeous, funny, sexy as hell, and willing, and yet, I can’t get it together enough to actually have sex with her. I should just turn in my man card and be done with it.
“She is amazing. Hopefully it will work out.” I don’t know how else to respond to them. These guys get it. They know the kind of problems paralysis can cause and I’m sure at least half of them aren’t even able to get it up, so I should feel lucky.
But, instead, I feel like an asshole.
I have a sort-of working cock and can’t use it. I need a long, cold shower to get my head together before I see Dani again. If I go home with her like this, it will surely be a repeat performance.
Her showing up here was a huge step forward. I can’t risk anything setting us back.
My stomach churns and bile rises in my throat as we pull into the driveway of Savage’s mother’s house.
Sunday dinner with the Hawkes…somehow it didn’t seem so intimidating when he asked me to come a few nights ago, but now, staring at the place he grew up, every potential disaster waiting for me inside is running through my head at Olympic sprinter speeds. Even after being together for months, I don’t feel ready to meet the Hawkes.
Savage squeezes my hand from next to me in the back seat.
“You okay? Why do you look like you’re about to be sick?”
“Probably because I might blow chunks right here in the back of Gabe’s car.”
Gabe shifts the car into park and looks at me over his shoulder with a frown. “You better be joking. There will be no chunk blowing in the Mercedes, please.”
Savage chuckles and kisses the back of my hand. “She’s fine. She’s just nervous, although I have no idea why.”
“Seriously? No idea? You think meeting the Hawke women isn’t just a little bit intimidating?”
Gabe laughs and opens his door. “Well, she’s got you there. I’m just glad I’m here for the show.” He climbs out, leaving Savage and me alone in the car, and me feeling even worse than I did ten seconds ago.
“Why does he have to be such a prick?”
Laughter fills the car and Savage reaches out to pull my head over to him. He kisses my forehead and then my lips. “Relax. It will be fine. Just remember, Skye will bait you. Don’t take it and you’ll be fine.”
I take a deep breath and nod before I pull away and open my door to climb out. By the time I make it around to the other side of the car, Gabe already has Savage’s chair out and Savage has just settled into it.
A bang draws my attention to the front of the house and a woman I can only assume is Mrs. Hawke is practically running down the front walk toward Gabe. He meets her halfway and she throws herself at him, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face against his chest.
“About goddamn time. Have you been avoiding me, boy?”
She pulls back and looks at Gabe, who offers her a smirk before kissing her gently on the cheek.
“Of course not, Ma, I’ve just been busy the last month.”
Ma? I look to Savage and he shrugs his shoulders before closing the car door. “He was here all the time growing up. She’s really the only mother he’s ever had.”
My heart aches a little picturing a little blond boy with no mom, but seeing Mrs. Hawke and Gabe together now, there’s no doubt he received whatever he needed here, if not at home.
Savage and I make our way up the walkway as Gabe extricates himself from Mrs. Hawke’s stranglehold.
“Oh, and you must be Danika!” She steps over to me and embraces me in a tight hug I certainly am not expecting.
Is this normal? The only people I hug are my mom, my sister, and Caroline…and now Savage.
“Uh, hi, nice to meet you, Mrs. Hawke.”
She pulls back and releases me. “Don’t call me Mrs. Hawke. That makes me feel all of my fifty-five years. Call me Antonia.” With a smile, she pushes past me and leans down to hug Savage. “I’m so glad you could make it and managed to convince Danika and Gabe to come.”
“Me, too, Mom.”
Antonia ushers us into the house and the smell of sautéed garlic hits me, making my mouth water instantly. Whatever she’s making smells amazing. I can’t wait to taste it, and get my hands on a glass or three of wine. Savage assured me there would be wine. God knows I need it.
The Hawkes’ living room is filled with overstuffed furniture and knickknacks on bookcases. It’s not exactly what I expected given what Savage’s place looks like, but I suppose with his anal-retentive orderly nature, he could never stand to live in a place like this as an adult.
I’m ushered into a chair and Savage tells me he’ll be right back and disappears into another room with his mother. Not exactly sure what to do, I twist my hands nervously on my lap and look around. My eyes land on a row of pictures along the mantle. I get up and move over to them.
They are a beautiful family. The earliest pictures show Savage’s dad with all the kids and Antonia. They clearly get their dark hair and olive complexio
ns from their mother and the striking eyes from their father. As I move down the row of photos, Sam Hawke disappears and the kids are older and look even more alike.
The three girls look like they could be triplets in some of the later photos, except one is slightly older and, even though I haven’t met any of them, my eyes wander to one of the twins automatically.
Star.
I don’t know why I know it is her. She looks exactly like Skye, but there’s something in her expression, her smile, that is warming and joyful in a way that the other sister’s lacks. Savage doesn’t talk about her much, and I don’t pry. Other than what he told me about the accident and what I managed to pull out of Gabe during our drunken discussion that night at the club, she’s still a mystery and one I may never really figure out.
“So, you must be Danika.” I turn in the direction of the sharp voice and find Skye standing at the end of the couch with a glass of red wine in her hand. She doesn’t smile and I get the distinct impression she’s trying to be intimidating.
Not gonna work on me, honey.
Taking a step toward her, I extend my hand. “Hi, and you’re Skye, right?”
She looks at my hand but doesn’t take it. Instead, she brushes past me to sit in the armchair next to the couch. I drop awkwardly onto the couch and search helplessly for Savage, but he’s nowhere to be found.
Why the hell did he leave me alone? Fucker!
“So, what’s your deal?”
Her question startles me and I turn back to her. Her icy glare gives me goose bumps and I rub my arms while I try to figure out what the fuck she’s asking. “I’m not sure I understand what you mean?”
She rolls her eyes and takes a swig of her wine before setting it down on the end table next to her. “What’s your angle with my brother?”
“My angle?”
“Yeah, are you after his money?”
What the fuck?
“Seriously? Why would you even ask that? I don’t want a dime from Savage.”
Her eyes narrow and she glares at me with such contempt, I’m tempted to get up and leave the house without bothering to meet the rest of the family.
“You better not hurt him. He’s been through enough.”
My blood boils and my skin heats as anger rises. “You think I don’t know that? I would never hurt him.”
She gives me a look that assures me she doesn’t believe me and makes it very clear we aren’t going to be best friends anytime soon.
A child’s squeal breaks me from her icy gaze and I turn to find my savior finally arriving.
“Hello, ladies. What are you two talking about?” With Angelica dangling from my neck, I approach Skye and Danika.
Dani gives me a fake smile and my heart sinks. I look to Skye and she widens her eyes as if to ask me “what?”
Fucking Skye…why can’t she ever keep her mouth shut?
I can only imagine what she must have said to Danika to make her look so uncomfortable. It looks like I’ll need to have a private convo with my little sis. After a continued moment of silence, I clear my throat and detangle Angelica so I can turn her to face Dani.
“Angelica, this is my friend, Dani. Dani, this is my niece, Angelica.” Danika gives me a genuine smile and moves from the couch, dropping to her knees in front of me to put herself on the same level as Angelica.
“Hi, Angelica.” She smiles shyly in response before I have a tiny face buried in my neck again. Angelica isn’t usually shy around people we introduce her to; maybe it’s the tension between Dani and Skye throwing her off.
Someone approaches from behind me and Angelica giggles. “Is she being shy all of a sudden?” Storm appears and Danika climbs to her feet. “You look like you could use one of these.” Storm hands Dani a glass of wine with a knowing smile before casting a glare at Skye.
“Thank you.” Dani reaches out and takes it and then extends her hand to Storm. “You must be Storm.”
“I am, and don’t let Skye get to you. She’s the difficult one in the family.” Skye rolls her eyes and downs the remaining wine in her glass before climbing from her chair and disappearing into the kitchen.
Her attitude needs a serious adjustment. We all cut her some slack, but Dani means too much to me to let her scare her off. Not that I think that would really do it. Dani doesn’t scare easily and I imagine she had some choice words for Skye in response to whatever my sister threw at her.
Things have been going so well since we had our big fight a couple of weeks ago. I don’t want anything to get in the way of what is turning out to be a seriously good thing, maybe the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
I won’t let this get fucked up.
Storm shakes Dani’s hand and ushers her to sit back down on the couch. She scoops Angelica up off my lap and plops down with her in the chair Skye just vacated.
“So, Savage tells me you’re an investigative reporter?”
Relief washes over me when Dani jumps right into an easy conversation with Storm. I knew I could count on the eldest Hawke girl to make her feel welcome.
With Dani in Storm’s capable hands, I set out to search for Gabe and Ben. I find them in the backyard, drinking beers on the patio. Skye must have joined my mom in the kitchen. It’s probably a good thing she’s not back here. I’m not sure I could rein in my anger right now. This is too important to me.
“Hey, man, what’s up?” Ben reaches out and shakes my hand. Gabe nods.
“Nothing, except apparently Skye didn’t waste any time digging into Dani.”
Gabe’s lips press into a tight line and I know he’s just as annoyed with her as I am. Ben chuckles and takes a swig of his beer. “Well, that’s just par for the course. If she wants to hang with the Hawkes, she’s going to have to learn how to deal with Skye.”
I would have loved to avoid Dani’s trial by fire, but Ben’s right. It was only a matter of time and Skye doesn’t even let up on us, so there’s no way she is going to with someone new—especially the first girl I’ve dated since the accident.
“You think she’s gonna last?”
Ben’s question is certainly a fair one. After all, he knows about our rocky start. He also knows Becca bailed pretty quickly. It’s not out of the question for Dani to still disappear.
Gabe chuckles. “Dude, if you saw them together the way I have, you would know those two are hotter for each other than Texas in August. Plus, she keeps him on his toes, which he needs. She’s a tough chick. They will be fine.”
I wouldn’t have expected Gabe’s praises of Danika. It’s not that he doesn’t like her. I think he genuinely does, but he has been leery of me letting myself get too involved with her too quickly. Maybe that’s just being sensible.
Sensible.
I used to be the sensible one…before Danika. Now, I find myself saying and doing things I never would have before. I’m opening myself up to her in ways I never did with Becca, even though we were together for years, not months.
But, on the other hand, I haven’t been able to seal the deal with her either.
Not for lack of trying on both our parts.
She walks in the door, looks at me, says my name…just about anything and I’m hard as a fucking rock, but when we get anywhere near going past her gloriously talented cock-sucking, my heart races and I break out into a cold sweat and have to distract her from pursuing it any further.
I don’t know how much longer I can put her off without her saying something. She’s the most sexually-charged woman I’ve ever met and, so far, I’m not giving her what she needs.
And isn’t that a fucking bitch?
The fact she’s even lasted this long tells me there’s something deeper there between us, that I’m not just imaging it or feeling it without reciprocation.
“She’s not going anywhere,” I say with more conviction than I feel, but I also don’t feel like it’s a lie. She’s not going anywhere—if I have anything to say about it.
Ben tilts his beer toward me
and smiles. “Good. You’ve definitely been less of an asshole since she came around.”
Gabe spits out his beer and coughs through his laughter.
“Gee, thanks, Ben.”
He holds his hands up in surrender. “Hey, I’m just calling it like I see it.”
After regaining control of his lungs, Gabe takes another drink before his face takes on a somber look. “Did your mom tell you about Stone?”
Fuck. What now?
“No, what about him?”
Gabe’s eyes flicker over to Ben before coming back to me. “Well, apparently he blew a deadline for some brief he was supposed to be writing or filing or something.”
Sure sounds like something Stone would do.
“Shit. Did they fire him?”
He shakes his head. “Not yet. They are apparently putting him on ‘probation’ and giving him another chance.”
“Jesus, that kid can’t even make it a couple months without blowing it, can he?” My frustration over my younger brother never really goes away, but things like this make it flare to epic proportions. He just can’t get his shit together and I have no fucking clue why.
The door slides open behind me. I turn to find Skye watching us with another glass of wine in her hand. “Mom says dinner is ready.”
This should be fun.
“So, was it as bad as you thought it would be?”
Caroline quirks an eyebrow at me and takes a bite of her salad while she waits for my response. We somehow managed to sneak away for a late lunch, which is basically unheard of on a Tuesday. For some reason, Tuesdays are a total nuthouse at the paper and we often end up eating protein bars and downing diet Coke to keep ourselves going. Mondays are worse, which is why we haven’t had a chance to discuss the big dinner yet, but Tuesdays are definitely a close second.
I have to think about my answer for a minute. I genuinely don’t know how to feel about my Hawke family dinner experience.
Antonia, Storm, and Ben were just as wonderful and welcoming as Savage assured me they would be, but Skye’s disdain and attitude threw me for a loop, despite being forewarned by Savage and Gabe.