Savage Collision: A Hawke Family Novel (The Hawke Family Book 1)

by Gwyn McNamee

  I swallow my jealousy and kiss him, letting my actions say what I can’t with words, that it’s okay. Pulling away, I smile and wipe the last of his tears from his face. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  He reaches over and shuts off the light and then I settle into his side, burying my face against his shoulder. “We still need to talk tomorrow,” he whispers, pressing his lips to my forehead, “but try to get some sleep. It will get easier, baby.”

  I want to believe him. I want to believe that it does get better, but right now, when I try to close my eyes, all I see is Paul, and it is hard to believe that will ever go away.

  I’m woken up by bright light hitting my eyelids. I cover my eyes with my hand, groaning in annoyance as I roll onto my other side, turning my back on the offending light.

  Reaching out with my free hand, I search for Savage, wanting to bury my face against his chest and ignore the daylight. My palm finds a warm plane of hard flesh, but I realize immediately something is different. The smooth, hot skin is lacking the sexy light mat of hair Savage has spattered across his chest.

  My eyes fly open and I lower my protective hand from my face to find him flat on his stomach, his arms tucked up under his pillow, head turned away from me.

  Savage doesn’t sleep on his stomach. Ever.

  I never asked him why. I guess it never occurred to me to ask, but now, seeing the vast expanse of skin and tight muscle, I curse myself for having not begged to see it sooner.

  My fingers itch to touch every inch of him and I shift closer, watching the steady rise and fall of his back under my palm. I run it across his upper back and shoulders; he groans and shifts slightly. I still, waiting for him to wake, but he almost immediately returns to the steady breathing of sleep. Sliding my hand lower, I finally reach the sheet, resting across the middle of his back.

  I don’t even think before I do it. I just slowly drag the sheet down, exposing the rest of his back, and the crisscrossing myriad of scars.

  My breath catches in my throat and tears pool in my eyes. I cover my mouth to keep from making any noise that may wake him. I knew he would have scars. The number of surgeries he had was mind boggling, but looking at them, seeing the physical evidence of all the anguish he went through, makes it so much more real.

  Wiping the tears from my face, I reach out and brush my fingertips down the biggest scar, running from the center of his back down to the base of his spine. The red, straight line is raised from the skin slightly and is smooth under my touch. Just as I reach the base of the scar, his body jerks and I yank my hand from his skin, whipping my head up to his face.

  His wary blue eyes meet mine as he watches me over his shoulder. Propped up on his elbows, he stares at me, and I feel like a teenage boy who has been caught going through his dad’s porn collection.

  “I…I’m sorry…” Words fail me as I try to construct a valid excuse for my actions.

  He shakes his head. “No, don’t apologize. Go ahead.”

  Even as he encourages me to go on, I see the trepidation and unease in his gaze. I know this can’t be easy for him, but the fact he’s willing to let me do it anyway gives me hope we can really work through whatever barriers he’d put up between us in the past. He turns his head and buries his face in his hands on the pillow.

  I reluctantly reach out, gliding my fingers down his back again, from the top of his spine down to just above his ass. His body bows up into my touch and he releases a strangled groan.

  “You okay?” I ask, leaning in so I can see his profile.

  He nods, his eyes still clenched closed.

  “Do you want me to stop?”

  He shakes his head, but offers no verbal response.

  The need to touch and know every part of him draws me into him again and I reach out, sliding my fingers across another scar, this one bisecting the large one down the center of his back. Craving the taste of his skin on my lips, I lean down, pressing them to the top of the scar and slowly kissing my way down its length.

  He moans and arches into me again, his body tensing then relaxing as I move across each scar, giving it the same attention and treatment.

  I don’t know how much of this he can actually feel, or if his reaction is just from knowing I’m doing it, but by the time I’m done, his entire body is shaking, his face still buried in his hands. He hasn’t spoken a word since he urged me to continue, and I’m suddenly overwhelmed by fear as I remember the painful silence of his panic attack and his inability to talk to me.

  I kiss my way across his shoulder blades until my face is against his arm. His eyes are clenched shut, and my fear spikes as I reach out and run my hand through his hair. “Baby, are you okay?”

  Slowly, he turns his head until he locks eyes with me. I expect to see fear, but instead, I’m met with a fire and intensity I’ve never seen before.

  “Savage?”

  He rolls onto his side and pulls me in to him, pressing his erect cock against my stomach, the thin t-shirt I wear doing nothing to dampen the heat of his body. Burying his hand in my hair, he guides my mouth to his, capturing it in a devastating kiss that renders me completely immobile. There are no soft preliminaries. His tongue glides across my lips, begging for entrance. I comply and respond in kind, tangling with him as I push my body against his, wanting, needing to be closer.

  Abruptly, he pulls away and rolls onto his back, scrubbing his hands down his face before pushing himself up and sitting back against the headboard. “Shit, I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have…I just…”

  I slide my leg across his hips and straddle him. Capturing his face in my hands, I tilt his head back, forcing him to look at me. “Oh no, don’t you dare apologize for anything.” Reaching between my legs, I grasp his erection and brush the head of his cock through my wetness, eliciting a groan from him. “Baby, do you want this?”

  His shimmering eyes hold mine momentarily before he presses his forehead to mine. “You know I do, but…”

  “No,” I say as I shake my head, “no buts. This is about us, right here, right now. Nothing else matters right now, as long as this is what you want.” I press my mouth to his, letting him taste my need for him, my need for him make everything else disappear, even if only for a few moments.

  Please, Savage…

  His hands cradle my head and he consumes me with his mouth. I slide my wet pussy along his length, coating him in my arousal and letting him feel my need. When I rock my hips against the head of his cock, he groans into my mouth, moving one hand down and finding my clit.

  I cry out at his touch, my throbbing clit needing the contact almost as much as my clenching core needs him inside me right now. “Savage,” I gasp, “please…”

  His hand slides from my clit down to his cock. He positions himself at my core and I slide down.

  She engulfs my cock, her wet, clasping heat gripping me and making my head spin off in a thousand directions. Inch by inch, she takes me into her, stretching her tight walls that clench around my throbbing flesh.

  “Sweet fuck.” The words tumble from my mouth as stars flash in my vision. The pain of her nails digging into my shoulders brings me back. She gasps when she impales herself fully on my dick, rocking against my pelvis.

  For the thousandth time since the accident, I thank God I can feel this. It isn’t like I remember it, it never will be, but it’s everything I need it to be.

  Leaning forward, she captures my mouth as she tightens her pussy around my cock. My gasp mingles with her groan and she smiles against my mouth. “I love you,” she murmurs against my lips.

  I kiss her deeply before replying, “I love you, too, baby.”

  She grins and leans back, locking her eyes on mine, sliding up and down my cock, grinding herself against my pelvis on every down thrust. My hands slip under her t-shirt to find her hips, helping her set a slow, steady rhythm.

  Sweet glorious fuck…

  Finally being inside her, finally feeling us come together like
this, is so overwhelming, it’s hard to believe it isn’t a dream. How this amazing woman could be here, like this, with me, after the shit I put her through, makes no logical sense to me, but somehow, she is here, and she loves me.

  She rolls her hips, changing the angle of our connection and pleasure shoots up my spine. Dropping my head back, I close my eyes and savor the glide of her body moving on mine.

  My entire body tingles and warms, warning me of my upcoming release. I open my eyes and watch her—head tilted back, eyes closed, mouth hanging open as she moans in ecstasy, her clasping pussy tugging at my cock with every retreat. She reaches down and grabs the hem of the t-shirt, quickly lifting it up and over her head, freeing her breasts.

  I won’t last much longer. Not with her riding me like this. Leaning forward, I capture her nipple in my mouth, sucking gently while she continues to roll and grind her hips against mine. Her breathing is nothing more than urgent pants and moans, and I pray she’s as close as I am. I move to her other breast, grazing it lightly with my teeth.

  She cries out, her eyes rolling back into her head as her pussy ripples and clenches around me with her orgasm.

  Watching her come, seeing the absolute bliss when she reaches her peak, combined with the relentless clutching and grinding along my cock sends me spiraling off into the most intense orgasm of my life.

  Jesus...

  Collapsing against me, she buries her face in my neck, her breath coming in rapid pants against my heated skin. Our heartbeats race against each other, and I clutch her to me, unwilling to let go of her for anything.

  I never thought I would have this.

  When I built and enforced the wall between us, I thought I had ruined everything, maybe beyond repair. I was convinced of that just days ago. The talk I had planned to have with her last night, before I almost lost her forever, wasn’t going to fix things. I knew that it was too little, too late. I hurt her too badly for things to ever be okay. I was ready to let her go, to tell her that I did love her, but that loving her was only going to hurt her.

  Now, I have hope, and hope is a dangerous thing.

  Because, there’s still so much I need to tell her. There’s still so much she doesn’t know, and, after last night, she may never be able to forgive me for it.

  I hold her until our heartbeats return to normal, running my hand through her hair and down her back, her smooth skin warm under my palm. Her steady, even breathing tells me she has dozed off, and I can’t blame her. After what she went through yesterday, and the near-sleepless night we both had, my eyelids feel heavy as lead.

  Resigning myself to the fact that the things still left to say can wait, I close my eyes and let the rise and fall of her chest against mine lull me to sleep.

  My phone chirps on my nightstand and startles me awake. I reach out and grab it, turning off the alarm. I silenced my calls and texts last night, but forgot to turn off the 8:30 a.m. alarm I set to remind myself of a meeting at 9:00 a.m. with a supplier. Glancing at my phone, I sigh, seeing fifty-six missed calls and twenty-three new texts messages from various members of my family, employees, and numbers I don’t recognize.

  As I swipe to read the message, a text from Gabe appears.

  > Morning news. You’re on it. <

  I curse and fire off a response. It makes sense they wouldn’t have mentioned Gabe. I’m sure the police don’t want it publicized that a retired Army sniper took out three mafia hitmen before the SWAT team could even get there.

  < Can you please deal with my family? I need some more time with her. >

  > Of course, anything you need. <

  < Thanks, man. >

  Sliding the phone back onto the nightstand, I nudge Danika awake. “Baby, wake up.”

  She groans and snuggles against me, turning her face into my shoulder. I chuckle and nuzzle my mouth against her ear. “Time to wake up, love.” She squirms on my lap, my cock, still embedded inside her, starting to harden again.

  Moaning in approval, she squeezes my flesh, and slowly raises her head, a grin spreading across her lips. She reaches up and brushes the hair out of my face and smiles at me. “You better be waking me for a good reason.” She purrs, clenching around me and eliciting a groan from somewhere deep in my chest.

  “Hmm, well, baby, I hate to do it, but we need to get up, get something to eat, and then talk.”

  Her smile fades into a frown and she shifts her body forward, her swollen wet pussy tightening on my cock. My semi goes to a full-blown raging hard on in a second. I grip her hips, trying to steady her and prevent her from further distracting behaviors. “Danika…”

  She pouts and leans in, kissing me deeply. When she pulls away, she smirks and rolls her hips despite my best efforts to keep her still. “Come on, Savage, ten minutes.”

  The mischief and joy on her face make it impossible for me to ignore her request. Even if I could physically stop my reaction to her, which God knows I can’t, the fact she can be so happy and free-spirited after what she went through last night means I can’t possibly deny her. Not when reality is waiting for us.

  I groan my resignation and capture her face in my hands, releasing her hips, which immediately roll on my cock. She moans into my mouth, sucking on my tongue in the same rhythm she sets with her hips. I slide my hands down her sides and under her ass cheeks. She squeezes them in my hands as she tightens her walls around my dick.

  She moves like a woman on a mission, her hips rocking and slamming against mine vigorously as she gasps and moans. I kiss my way up her neck until I reach her ear, sucking the lobe between my teeth and scraping it gently. She bucks, her breath catching in her throat before she cries my name, redoubling her efforts.

  My body burns, my love and desire for her mixing with pure unadulterated need as we both race for our release. Sliding a hand between us, I find her swollen, wet clit and tug it between my fingers. She gasps and her eyes fly open, finding mine. “God, yes…”

  She leans back, placing her hands on either side of my legs, and looks down. My eyes slide down the smooth expanse of flawless skin until I finally see where our bodies are connected. I continue to roll my thumb over her clit and watch in awe as my cock disappears into her wet pussy, only to reappear a second later coated in our earlier release and current arousal.

  My chest tightens. My entire body is engulfed in flames as I watch her ride my cock with reckless abandon, pulling me closer to orgasm.

  “Oh fuck,” she cries, dropping her head back and shoving herself against my hand on every upward thrust of her hips, “I’m gonna come.”

  Thank God. I won’t last another minute.

  “God, I fucking love you,” I tell her as I slide my other hand off her hip and up to her breast, twisting her nipple at the same time as her clit. She screams my name, bowing up and exploding in erratic jerks on my cock.

  Watching her find her release pushes me over the edge and I let go; my body detonates and lights flash behind my eyelids.

  “Fuck…” she mumbles as she collapses, panting against my chest. I wrap my heavy arms around her and kiss her hair.

  “I think we just did.”

  She laughs against my skin, pressing her lips to my collarbone and sliding her tongue up my neck to my mouth. She slips it along my lips. I open for her and return the slow, sensuous kiss, relishing the afterglow.

  When she tries to bury her face against my neck again, I capture her hair, tugging gently to pull her head back. “Oh no, you don’t. No falling asleep again. We need to eat and talk.” I try to sound and look stern, but her little pout is so adorable, I end up grinning and kissing her again.

  Eventually, she pulls away with a sigh and climbs off my lap with a groan as my semi-hard dick slides from inside her. She disappears into the bathroom. I hear the toilet flush and running water before the door opens. She approaches, carrying a washcloth in her hand.

  Stopping next to the bed, she glances down at my cock. I follow her eyes to the mess we managed to create on my lap. She
laughs and hands me the wet washcloth. “You need this.” I take it from her and begin wiping off the remnants of our morning when I notice her eyes traveling farther south.

  I know what she’s seeing, and I try to calm my racing heart as I watch her examine my legs. She hasn’t seen them before, and now that she’s seeing the scars, the muscle atrophy, all of me in all my glory, my stomach twists and my chest tightens painfully. She reaches out and runs her finger up the scar along my left shin before her eyes flick up to mine.

  “Compound fracture. There are three more on my right leg. They were both crushed by the dashboard collapsing when the car rolled.”

  She looks at my right leg and traces the scars slowly before turning to me, leaning in and giving me a quick kiss and taking the washcloth from me. “I’m going to take a quick shower. You start breakfast.”

  I watch her walk away from me in awe. I don’t know what I was expecting when she saw all of me, but it certainly wasn’t that. Maybe Doc is right. I haven’t been giving her enough credit, but that still doesn’t mean there aren’t things waiting for an opportunity to devastate us.

  While she showers, I slip out of bed and pull on a t-shirt and boxers before heading to the kitchen to start breakfast. The condo is always so eerily quiet and empty feeling when Princess isn’t here. I’ll bring her home after we finish our talk, assuming Danika hasn’t killed me once she hears everything.

  I shudder picturing her reaction.

  How the fuck do I tell her? She is going to freak, completely lose her shit.

  Attempting to focus my attention on breakfast, I pull out eggs, bell peppers, onion, and cheese to make omelets.

  As soon as I crack the eggs, she appears at the end of the kitchen island, in nothing but one of my t-shirts, her damp hair falling in loose curls to her shoulders. Her freshly-showered skin has a pink hue and she smiles at me, completely oblivious as to what is to come.