by Daya Daniels
Gabriel grunted as usual, then ran a hand through his thick hair.
“Bear, seriously. Tell me what to do. We own this sawmill operation together. I’m not used to being in charge. At least not for when you’ve been gone this long,” Jacob said sounding exhausted.
Gabriel ran a hand through his hair.
“Jacob, I put you in charge because you can do the job. It was never my plan to run the sawmill operation. That was the deal from the start and that’s why I agreed to buy it with you in the first place. Remember?
“There probably is more that I need to teach you about running it but I’m trying to focus my energy on the mining operations long term. Moving to Helena for a few months isn’t exactly at the top of my list. You know I hate the city but I’ll consider it, if you think it will help, but after that I’m done, Jacob. Hire three more guys until I can get back. That should ease up the trucks and make sure the shipping transports don’t fall behind.”
Jacob accepted the advice. “Bear, there’s something else.” He hesitated.
“Abigail and I think it’s great that now you’re not up here living with just your dogs and your guns but do you even know her name?”
Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Of course I do, Jacob.”
“And this place, Bear! I mean, I love what you’ve done with it but this is the middle of fucking nowhere. Does it even have an official address? There is nothing for miles!”
Jacob leaned against the side railing of the deck. “I just have my reservations about this girl, Bear. Have you ever wondered why she was even up here in these woods to begin with? The whole thing sounds questionable to me.”
“Of course, I have.”
“Why is no one even looking for her then? Why doesn’t she seem eager to go home or get the police involved?”
Gabriel stilled and gave Jacob a warning stare.
“You’re so protective of her and you don’t even know anything about her, Bear.”
Gabriel slowly approached Jacob. “Don’t be a fucking asshole, Jacob, you know why the police haven’t been involved.”
Jacob just laughed and turned away from his brother.
“No one is looking for Lily because she has no one and she likely has no home to go to either,” Gabriel said. “She was in the woods because that’s where some sick fuck dumped her after raping her and beating her half to death, Jacob. It’s as simple as that. Please leave.”
With that Jacob threw his hands up and stomped down the stairs off the deck.
“Bear, look, I just don’t understand why you are taking on this burden and risking getting yourself involved in something that might get you into trouble again.”
Jacob then jumped in his truck and drove off.
I stood in the front doorway to the cabin wearing the clothes that Gabriel bought for me. A sweater, a pair of jeans, a black winter Northface coat with a hood and some boots. I took a small backpack and loaded it up with some water and snacks for the long walk.
It was exceptionally cold outside this morning. I wondered if the temperature had dropped even more. Rocco heeled next to me. If Gabriel ever left to go hunting, he always left one of the dogs with me and a walkie talkie. I stepped out into the sun on the deck to say goodbye when I saw Gabriel returning to the cabin with Sable and a large deer slung over his shoulder. Its eyes bulging from its head, as he slammed it down on the deck.
“Lily, what are you doing?”
I stood confident and answered, “I’m leaving. I should leave.”
Gabriel scoffed. “Oh, and where exactly are you going, Lily?”
He turned and stretched out his arms in front of him, making a semi-circle twice towards the distance. “Lily, look around. There is nothing around here. The nearest main road is two hundred and ten miles away, which takes exactly three hours by car.
“Which means at two miles per hour walking, Lily, it will take you four-point-three-seven-five days to get there! Are you prepared for a four-and-a-half-day walk, Lily?”
I hadn’t considered the distance.
“You don’t have the proper gear. Your ribs have just barely healed and your arm is still tender, so you are physically not up to the job. You have no knife, no gun, no flares, and no compass! Do you even know where you are?
“You’ll likely end up walking around in circles out there and collapse from exhaustion! There are grizzly bears, black bears, bobcats, mountain lions. The coyotes, wolves, and the bison travel in packs and that’s only the big animals!”
Gabriel went on, his voice growing louder with every breath he took.
“You’re in the wilderness!” he shouted. “It’s ten degrees today with the sun out, excluding the wind chill and well below zero when the night falls!”
I lowered my head and studied my hands nervously. I wasn’t prepared for this angry reaction from him. I felt ridiculous.
Gabriel lowered his voice, shut his eyes for a few seconds. “Lily, have I done something? Have I done something wrong to make you want to leave?”
I didn’t answer. I wanted to but I had no idea what on earth to say.
His face twisted while he stared down at me. “Lily?” he repeated.
Just then a chill that could have frozen me solid hit me. It was freezing out. “No,” I stammered. “I—”
Gabriel cut me off mid-sentence. “You heard Jacob last night,” he said with a regretful look on his face. “Shit,” he whispered and shook his head.
“Lily, that was nothing to be concerned about. Jacob doesn’t come up here often but when he does, he usually sticks his nose where it doesn’t belong.”
It wasn’t just what I overheard Jacob saying that bothered me. It was the fact that I was a burden. I was no closer to figuring out what I’d do next with my life than I was three months ago. I was just hiding out in the mountains biding time, achieving nothing. The new life I had here with Gabriel made me happy but I knew it could all be taken away in a flash if he asked me to go. What would I do if that day came? Would I even be prepared?
“Gabriel,” I whispered. “I’m a burden to you. I’ve always felt like a burden to people and I’m tired. I need to take care of myself for once. Thank you for everything you’ve done. When I get back to work I’ll repay you for all the food, clothing, and medical care you have provided me.”
Gabriel tore off his hat and shoved it in his pocket, visibly infuriated. “Lily, get back inside,” he snapped, stomping towards me while his heavy boots made a thud against the wooden deck. I moved backwards with every step he took forward until I was back inside the cabin.
“Gabriel, please listen,” I begged.
The tears started flowing again and I knew I was losing this argument. He gently held my face in his hands, forcing me to look at him.
“Lily, please,” he spoke in a whisper. “You’re not a burden to me. I like having you here. I do not want you to leave. I want you to stay. Jacob is an asshole, that’s why I stay away from him.
“That’s why I live in these mountains away from people. I hate people. They’re judgmental, nosey, and all they usually do is cause trouble. The drive here is three hours one way and three hours back. It serves as a deterrent for people coming up here—which means they don’t come often.
“I want you here with me, Lily. I don’t want you to go because you think I want you to, because I don’t. I need you to trust me.“
Gabriel wiped the tears from my face with his hands.
“Lily, can I ask you to do something?” he said moving his hand lightly across my hair. “Can you just get ready for dinner?”
I nodded and put the backpack down.
“This is the perimeter, Lily. It is two hundred yards in a complete circle.”
Gabriel raised his arm out, pointing to numerous red markings on a row of forty-foot-tall pine trees. He insisted we get up early this morning. We took a slow walk to the edge of where the cabin sat. The ground was thick with white snow and the cold air misted in front of me each time I spoke. Roc
co and Sable wandered slowly behind us and playfully chased a squirrel in the snow. Gabriel carried a shotgun. I spotted the top of a knife sheath sticking out of the thigh pocket of his pants.
“Okay.” I scanned the area. “Everything looks the same around here.”
“Yep, I know. That’s why most people get lost. I need you to be aware of where you are out here at all times, Lily. The warning clicks at the house go off if something, which means an animal or a person has breached the perimeter.
“The camera will capture the image if we’re inside, but if we are outside, we can only rely on the sound of the warning.”
“Take this.” Gabriel shoved his hand out towards me.
It was a silver chain. On the end of it was a small compass, a small clock which showed the time and date, and a whistle.
“The house is at north directly behind you. South is in front of you, east is to your left and west is to your right. West is the road down to the base of the mountain. If you look at the markings on the trees, I’ve painted them all either north, south, east and west so you don’t get lost.”
“Okay,” I said. My head was spinning. I laughed to myself. I was used to hitting a button at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the cars to stop and then briskly walking across the street when the little green man flashed.
“I grew up here, kind of, when I wasn’t in Browning with my mother. I spent a lot of time in these mountains with my grandfather, Angus. I don’t get lost but since you’re here now, I made it a point to mark all the trees at the perimeter at four feet from the ground. South is red, north is blue, green is west and yellow is east. Just use your compass and you’ll always know where you are around here.
“Remember the cabin is at north—ten degrees. If you cross a tree that is marked, you’ve gone too far and need to turn back.”
Gabriel grabbed the chain and slipped it around my neck. It was meant to be functional but it looked more like a piece of antique jewelry.
“If it’s dark, low floodlights will come on if the perimeter has been breached but will be brighter only in the area that the breach is detected. The lights are normally enough to scare whatever it is away. It’s usually an animal. There’re a lot of harmless foxes around here—they will run. If we’re talking about a persistent mountain lion or bear that is hungry or a pack of wolves, it may take a bigger bang to make it go in the other direction. “
I nodded.
Gabriel leaned in closely, forcing me to meet his eyes. “Please do not go outside of this perimeter, Lily, without me. This is important.”
“I understand, Gabriel.” I picked up the compass and took another look. The silver dial on it changed with every turn I made.
“What’s outside of the two hundred yards?”
“Just more land, more trees, more snow, more animals. That’s where I hunt most of the time. Even further there are some old mine shafts around here but they are far away.”
“Gabriel.” I paused for a moment. “Where did you find me?”
He gave me a long stare as if he was debating my question. After a moment, he nodded. “About a mile from here to the east. It’s where I hunt.”
“There’s a lot of animals around there?” I stepped on a tree branch and watched it crack.
“Yes.” Gabriel walked closer to me.
“What kind mostly?”
He didn’t respond. I pursed my lips together, raising my eyebrows pressing him to answer.
“Everything is out there. It’s where you find wolves, mountain lions, and grizzlies because the hunting grounds there are ripe for elk, deer, bison, and moose. There’s also a small river that runs through it.”
“Okay,” I whispered, examining the lines in my hands in front of me. “Why do you think the wild animals there didn’t eat me?”
“Because they hadn’t found you yet,” he said softly, palming the back of my head with his big hand.
Gabriel grinned at me. His dark hair fell across his forehead while he leaned down, spreading some bullets out on a high tree stump.
“Angus taught you how to shoot?” I asked Gabriel.
He nodded. “Yep, and Boy Scouts.”
I gave him a skeptical look.
“Seriously.” Gabriel laughed. “I was a Boy Scout from the time I was seven years old. Then I joined the military as a cadet from the age of sixteen and stayed until I was twenty-three.
“I love guns.” He grinned.
Gabriel’s passion for weapons was unnerving and slightly obsessive. I don’t think he went anywhere without a gun of some sort on him, or the large silver hunting knife that he always tucked into his pants or his boot. He reached over and grabbed my hand pulling me towards him across the snow. The touch of his warm fingers on my skin was comforting.
The day was clear but it was chilly outside. No snow fell but the ground was thickly covered by it. Clear across the mountain there were heavy clouds moving towards us, hinting that there would be snow later today judging by them.
Gabriel moved me in front of him, pressing his chest against my back. “This is a Glock 19. It’s perfect for you. It has a fifteen round, nine-millimeter capacity. There’s no manual safety so you have to be careful. You just point and shoot. I’ll show you how to take it apart when we’re done practicing.”
I held the gun out in front of me steady, like how my father had taught me and aimed. The tremor in my hand made me nervous. It was more than a little frustrating.
“Don’t focus on that. It will stop, trust me. Think past it, Lily,” he whispered in my ear, leaning over me.
Gabriel had a strange way of always seeming to be able to read my thoughts. I wondered if my feelings were written all over my face sometimes.
“Are you steady?”
I stood looking at the silver cans ahead that rested fifteen yards away on a shoulder-high wooden bench. I nodded.
“Okay,” he said, backing away from me.
I stood unmoving for a moment, trying to accommodate my shaky hands.
“Watch out for the kickback—hold it steady,” Gabriel instructed.
I pulled the trigger. The loud sound startled me for a moment. It echoed through the trees surrounding the house. It was exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. The can did a quick jump off the table and fell into the snow. I hit the target.
“Nice,” he praised with a handsome smile. “Again.”
I aimed again and hit seven out of twelve cans. There was definitely room for improvement and better accuracy.
Gabriel collected the cans while I waited, placing more on the high bench for me to try to hit again. I hit nine out of twelve cans.
“That’s perfect, Lily. Let’s do it again. I think your dad got you off to a great start if you can remember how to do this so easily.”
The memory made me smile. He came back to sit on a stump, loading a big shotgun. He took the handgun from me slowly, unloaded it and passed me the shotgun. There were three remaining cans on the bench ahead.
“I want you to feel this baby,” he breathed out heavily.
I giggled inwardly. “You don’t expect me to use this, do you?”
“Fuck yeah,” he said passing me a loaded shotgun. “This here is a Mossberg Model 500 Tactical Tri-Rail Forend. It’s a pump action shotgun or a slide action.” Gabriel pointed to the top of the gun that I held to the side of me.
“You can shoot this baby as fast as you can any semi-automatic. It has a twenty-inch barrel—or twelve gauge, which means it has twenty lead balls inside each shell.
“It has a bead sight for aim on the top but because of your arm, I want you to hold it a different way, to your side against your hip, almost like how you would hold a guitar.”
He held something up to me. “These are the shells, you see. They are a bit smaller than twelve gauge?”
I nodded.
“This gun holds eight of them.”
He came behind me to position the gun at my side. He leaned over me, holding on to it with his
hands as extra support against me. “Hold it close against your hip. Dig the heel of your back leg into the ground for balance. The kickback is going to move you.”
“Okay.” I adjusted myself more comfortably.
“Don’t be frightened of it. Think of it as your cock.”
“What?” I laughed.
Gabriel smirked while he lovingly caressed the black metal with his rough hands. “This here is your cock.”
I gave him a quizzical look as he continued talking.
“Take it in your hand, grab it firmly, Lily.”
He gripped the barrel of the gun forcefully and jerked it back. “You control it. You tell it when to jump. It doesn’t fire unless you want it to.”
My lips parted when he whispered in my ear.
“Touch it, Lily, feel the hardness of the metal.”
Gabriel covered his hand with mine and ran our hands together slowly down the shaft of the gun. His soft hair brushed against my face. I breathed him in along with the crisp air. He smelled like soap, man, and a little bit of sweat. I could feel the wetness pooling between my legs while I listened to his deep voice caress the outer shell of my ear. He smiled against me and pumped the gun slowly with his hand covering mine. I flinched out of my trance when I heard the gun click.
“Ready?” he asked.
“I think so,” I said nervously.
I pulled the trigger. The sound was deafening. I didn’t hit any of the cans but I hit the tall fir tree far behind it. The branches on the tree shook violently when the snow from them fell to the ground.
I squealed and Gabriel laughed.
“Again!” he shouted.
I helped him to pump the gun and pulled the trigger again.
Boom! The bench ahead of us exploded and all the cans went flying.
A large dusting of white snow misted high in the air ahead of us. The echo of the gunshot went on for miles through the trees. I began to laugh hysterically, realizing I was truly having fun. It was a mixture of excitement and complete fright. I spun around to look at Gabriel who had the widest smile on his face, then he fell out into laughter himself.