by Maya Banks
Tyana laid her pool stick down and eased toward the door.
“Not you,” Jonah said. “You, I want to talk to.”
She closed her eyes and slowly turned around to face her older “brother”. No, he wasn’t her blood, but he might as well be. He certainly cared more about her than any blood relation she’d ever had.
She chanced a look up at him and found him boring holes through her with his stare. He crossed his arms over his chest. They stood, facing each other for several long minutes. She hated when he got all silent. He was a brooding bastard on his best day, but get him riled and he could be positively menacing.
Finally Jonah spoke. Just about the time Tyana was about to tuck tail and run for the hills.
“What the fuck happened, Ty?”
“Nothing,” she mumbled. “I’m fine.” They didn’t normally indulge in too much personal shit, and this was fast encroaching on her comfort zone.
“Bullshit.”
They both turned when they heard the door to the game room click open. Mad Dog ambled back in, his gaze assessing the tension between Jonah and Tyana.
“Where’s D?” Jonah demanded.
“I put him to bed. He’s had enough to drink that he ought to sleep well,” Mad Dog rumbled.
Tyana’s chest squeezed uncomfortably. “Is he having problems again?”
Mad Dog shrugged, his long hair rippling with the movement. In some ways, he reminded her of Eli. They both had a wild, untamed look about them. But where Mad Dog sported a row of earrings, Eli only had one. A single diamond stud in his left ear. Eli also didn’t have any tattoos, and she’d certainly seen enough of his body to know.
An uncomfortable heat centered in her abdomen.
The similarities ended there. Beneath Mad Dog’s tough-as-nails exterior lay a big ole teddy bear. He’d never hurt her. Eli…well, he was dangerous.
“No more than usual,” Mad Dog said. “I got him drunk enough that he wasn’t doing any weird shifting. He didn’t try to turn into a bird or anything.”
His attempt at a joke fell flat.
“What are you doing back here?” Jonah asked, his question pointed.
Jonah was used to giving the orders, and most of the time the rest of them obeyed.
“I wanted to know what the hell was going on with Ty,” Mad Dog said evenly.
“And I’m waiting for her to tell me,” Jonah said, turning his attention once more to Tyana.
“You guys worry too much,” she said crossly. If she injected the right amount of sour indignation they just might buy that nothing was wrong.
Or not.
“What’s going on with you, baby?” Mad Dog asked softly. “You’re not yourself.”
“Don’t call me baby.”
He crossed the distance between them and cupped her cheek in his hand. “It’s kind of hard not to call you baby when I remember the first time I ever saw you. All of twelve years old, all big eyes and more fear than I’ve seen since. Until now. Now suppose you tell me what the fuck has you so afraid again?”
“Mad Dog. Back off,” Jonah said.
Mad Dog slowly dropped his hand and moved back. Jonah walked forward until he and Mad Dog stood shoulder to shoulder in front of her.
“What happened in Singapore, Ty?” Jonah asked.
She looked down and then away. She squeezed her eyes shut, but all she saw was the way Eli looked at her, the way he commanded her body, the way he made her feel. Something she hadn’t done in more years than she could count.
“You’ve never come back from a mission like this,” Mad Dog growled. “You’ve been jumpy as hell and distant. What the fuck happened?”
“Spill it, Ty. Every damn word,” Jonah said through gritted teeth.
She turned her back, walking to the window that overlooked the ocean, the one she’d just shattered with the damn ball. She curled her arms protectively around herself in a mad effort to draw comfort. It was little wonder the guys were so freaked out by her. This cracked-shell person wasn’t her.
A warm, salty breeze blew in from the broken window. In the distance, she could hear the crash of the ocean swells. Moonlight shone and bounced off the dark sheet of water, casting an iridescent glow over the beach.
“I had sex with him,” she said in a low voice.
“You did what?”
She didn’t even know who said it. Both? She could hear two angry men heaving behind her.
Firm hands gripped her shoulders as Jonah turned her around to face him. “Why? Sex was not the plan, Ty. You were supposed to drug him. You were never supposed to take things that far.”
She looked away. “I slipped the drug into his drink, but he didn’t take it. I didn’t see another way, and I made provisions for that possibility.”
Mad Dog swore behind Jonah, his blue eyes flashing. “Did he force you, Ty? Did he hurt you?”
“N-no,” she stammered. “It wasn’t like that.”
Jonah directed her gaze back to him. “So what if he didn’t take the drug. Damn it, you’re a highly trained operative. Taking this guy out should have been a piece of cake. You should have never crawled into bed with him. Do you honestly think D would want you to prostitute yourself for him?”
She yanked away, tears gathering in her eyes. “It doesn’t matter what D wants. He’s done far worse for me. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for him, to help him. Nothing.”
Mad Dog ran a hand through his hair, pulling it behind his neck in a ponytail. Then he let it go. “And what did you find out, Ty?”
She closed her eyes. “Nothing.”
She found herself being dragged to the couch.
“Sit,” Jonah ordered. “Then you tell us everything that happened.”
With a resigned sigh, she related the events of the night down to her escape from Eli’s apartment.
Again, Jonah swore while Mad Dog muttered under his breath.
When she finished, she chanced a look up at Jonah who regarded her thoughtfully.
“You should have aborted the mission at the first sign that things weren’t going as planned. And you damn sure shouldn’t have been climbing into bed with him. If D knew, he’d shit a brick, and you know it,” Jonah said.
“You handled the situation,” Mad Dog said quietly. “So what’s bothering you? What’s scared you so bad?”
She looked back and forth between him and Jonah, wondering if she should admit what was really bothering her. Mad Dog’s eyes narrowed, and he arched an eyebrow expectantly.
“I enjoyed it. The sex, I mean,” she said uncomfortably.
Those words shouldn’t hurt so much to say. They shouldn’t have such power over her. Shouldn’t bring back such painful memories or highlight in stark clarity that she’d never had sex for the sake of enjoyment. No, sex was painful, dirty and shameful.
Jonah heaved a deep breath and looked upward in resignation. His hand rose as he motioned to Mad Dog. “This is your department,” he muttered as he backed away.
It might have been funny in another instance. Jonah always left the girly stuff to Mad Dog. Patience and understanding weren’t Jonah’s strong points. Tyana still remembered the birds and the bees talks that Jonah had pawned off on Mad Dog as she had gotten older. Mad Dog had dealt with Tyana’s first period. She was a late bloomer in that regard, and Damiano had been as clueless as she was when it came to the natural nuances of growing up.
Mad Dog had handled it with an ease that to this day she was grateful for.
“I’ll be outside,” Jonah said as he headed toward the door.
Tyana sighed and glanced unhappily up at Mad Dog. She didn’t want to have this conversation. She’d much prefer him to go away and leave her to brood alone.
Mad Dog knelt in front of the couch and gently cupped her chin in his hand. It was so easy to remember all the times before, when she and D were so young and Mad Dog had soothed their fears and nightmares.
“Did he hurt you?” he asked.
She slowly shook
her head.
“Ty, it’s okay to have enjoyed it. I’m guessing he had a pretty good time too.”
Her cheeks tightened uncomfortably.
“Sex is supposed to be enjoyed. You’re not a little girl anymore. Those bastards can’t hurt you. No one will ever hurt you while me or the others are around. Do you understand that?”
“It scared me,” she admitted. “I lost it. For a moment…” She gulped, not wanting to relate just what had happened in that moment.
“For a moment what?” he prompted.
She looked down, shame crawling up her spine. “For a moment I forgot all about D, about why I was there, what I was after.”
He chuckled softly and nudged her chin upward. “That’s what good sex does.”
“I don’t know what to do,” she said miserably. “I acted like some green moron on her first mission. I can’t afford it to happen again.”
“It won’t happen again, because you’re not going anywhere near him,” he said pointedly.
“I have to go, Mad Dog. D can’t hold out much longer. I won’t lose him,” she said fiercely. “And Eli was stable. I saw him. He shifted right in front of me. He even had clothes. How could he have conjured clothes? He obviously has great control over his abilities which proves there has to be a way to help D.”
Mad Dog gave her a look so full of love and sympathy she flinched. “Ty, when are you going to stop punishing yourself?” he asked softly. “What happened to you and D wasn’t your fault. The things that happened to him weren’t your fault. You can’t spend your life trying to make up for things that were out of your control.”
“I can’t forget that he gave up so much to protect me,” she whispered.
He stood and gently pulled Tyana up in front of him. Then he folded her into his arms and held her against his strong chest.
“You have to stop blaming yourself,” he said quietly against her hair. “D doesn’t blame you. Neither should you.”
Before she could muster a response, he pulled away from her and brushed his thumb across her cheek.
“You should head on to bed and get some rest. You’re running on empty.”
She nodded and turned away. She could feel his gaze as she walked out of the game room, knew he would be watching her closely over the next few days, if not weeks.
As she stepped out the door, Jonah straightened from his position against the wall.
She tensed and waited.
“We need to get something straight, Ty,” he said with no preamble. “I’m pulling rank. Not as FMG leader, but as your brother. You know and I know there isn’t an assignment you can’t handle. I trust you implicitly. But as your brother, I’m shutting you down. You aren’t going anywhere near Eli Chance again. Are we clear? I’ll tie you to your bed if I have to, and you know I’m not bullshitting you. We’ll find another way to help D.”
Tyana stiffened. She wanted to scream. She wanted to lash out at Jonah. She wanted to cry. But she did none of those things. She stood there rigidly, hands balled into fists at her sides.
They stared at each other for a long moment. Finally Jonah broke the awkward silence.
“Are you okay?” he asked, and she knew he was referring to her conversation with Mad Dog.
She nodded. “Yeah, I’m cool. Heading up to bed.”
He looked as if he wanted to say something further, but he nodded and walked back into the game room where no doubt he and Mad Dog would have a long talk about her discussion with Mad Dog. She cringed.
She’d always been treated as one of the guys, but now they were going to see her as a vulnerable sister. Just another girl who needed their overbearing protection. She should have just kept her damn mouth shut and lied through her teeth.
Emitting a disgusted sigh, she trudged up the stairs toward her room. When she got to D’s door, she paused before sliding her hand over the knob.
She quietly pushed it open and walked inside. D was on the bed, his big body curled into a defensive gesture. It was a position she was intimately familiar with.
Even in sleep, he fought for control. Sweat beaded his forehead, and his muscles contorted and spasmed in his chest and arms. He let out a low moan, and Tyana bent to soothe a hand over his face.
There was no question of her offering comfort. She eased into bed beside him and wrapped her arms around him, just as she’d done so many other nights.
His arm crept around her even as he slept, an automatic motion born of years of habit. They held on tight to each other as Tyana drifted into sleep. The two of them against the world.
* * *
Jonah strode into the game room to see Mad Dog lighting another joint. There was a weariness to Mad Dog’s face that Jonah hadn’t seen in a long time. Mad Dog looked up as Jonah drew closer.
“What the fuck are we going to do about Eli Chance?” he demanded.
Jonah crossed his arms over his chest then relaxed them again and put his hands on the back of the couch. “Short answer? I don’t know.”
“Ty said he was stable, that he shifted at will and had complete control over his abilities. I’d say that’s a big point of interest for us. What if Ty is right and he could lead us to a cure for D?”
“Ty is going to keep her ass out of this,” Jonah bit out. He’d seen the fear and uncertainty in her eyes, and it was something he swore he’d never have to look at again once he and Mad Dog took her and D in. It pissed him off that Eli Chance had rattled her so badly. It pissed him off even more that his confidence in Ty’s ability to handle herself was shaken.
“We’ve been gathering intel on Eli and his team for weeks,” Mad Dog said evenly. “Ty was supposed to be on a simple fact-finding mission. Well, she found out plenty. The bastard is stable which means his team probably is as well.”
“We don’t know that for a fact,” Jonah said.
Mad Dog made a rude sound. “They all got gassed by the same chemical. D is a shifter, and we now know for sure Eli is as well. It’s not a stretch to say that his team also developed the ability. And if Eli is stable, what are the chances that his team isn’t? They obviously got help from somewhere. We just need to figure out how and where. I’m not one for walking up and saying hey, buddy, can you help my brother out after he left D for dead and skedaddled with his teammates.”
Jonah’s jaw ticked in anger. The truth was, he wanted Eli Chance’s blood. Now more than ever. If it hadn’t been for Ty intervening, Jonah and Mad Dog would have gone after the asshole and taken him out. But she viewed Chance as a means to help D, and so Jonah had allowed her to approach him in Singapore. Big mistake. One he wouldn’t make twice. He was done allowing Ty any leeway when it came to Eli Chance.
He looked back up at Mad Dog. “We let things calm down a bit. Allow Chance to relax his guard, and then you and I will take him out. I don’t want him to see us coming until he’s staring death in the face.”
“And if he does have information that can help D?” Mad Dog asked.
“Then he’ll tell us before he dies.”
Mad Dog nodded. “Good enough.” He exhaled a thin plume of smoke then stubbed the joint out in the ashtray.
Jonah turned and walked out of the game room. He trudged up the stairs feeling a hell of a lot older than he had just a few hours before. The burden of responsibility for his family, his teammates, weighed heavily. Things were fast going straight to hell, and he didn’t like the feeling of helplessness that gripped him.
As he passed D’s room, he stopped and frowned when he saw the door slightly ajar. They were careful to keep the door closed. Usually locked. A measure as much for D’s protection as their own.
He nudged the door open and peered inside. He swore softly when he saw Ty in bed with D, the two wrapped protectively around each other. It wasn’t a new sight, but in recent weeks, he’d cautioned Ty to be more careful. D was growing more unstable. He couldn’t control when and how he shifted, and he retained none of his human characteristics or understanding. He could easily
hurt Ty, never meaning to, never realizing it until it was too late.
Overwhelming guilt squeezed Jonah’s chest. He hated that Ty blamed herself for D’s pain. Jonah knew whose fault it was D was in this predicament. It was Jonah’s.
D should have never gone on that mission to Ahdarji. It should have been Jonah who led the American team. He had more expertise, more experience with all things Ahdarjian. He should, it was the country of his birth. But his anger, his vow never to return, had placed D in a position he should have never been in.
It should have been Jonah. And he’d live with that for the rest of his life.
He moved quietly to the bed, and he gently disentangled D’s arms from Ty. Then he picked her up, cradling her in his arms.
He walked out of the room and down the hall to Ty’s bedroom. He laid her on the bed and pulled the covers down, lifting her again before settling her back down on the sheets. He pulled the comforter over her and tucked her in. He kissed the top of her head before leaving the room.
He backtracked to D’s room, checking on his sleeping brother one last time before retreating, locking the door securely on his way out.
Chapter Three
Tyana jogged along the beach, occasionally skirting the incoming surf. Usually she jogged a few miles as part of her daily workout, but today she pushed herself beyond her usual endurance.
She darted closer to the water then away again when the waves chased her back. Her shoes left deep imprints in the wet sand, and her legs ached from the strain of the sand sucking her feet downward.
The morning sun beat on her bare shoulders. Sweat beaded and rolled down her back, making the thin material of the muscle shirt cling to her skin.
She scrubbed her arm over her forehead and pushed herself further along the beach. Her mind centered and focused on the issue plaguing her.
Despite Jonah’s insistence that she not go after Eli, she knew she had no choice but to confront him again. Somehow she had to find out how he maintained such control over his shifting abilities. Maybe they’d gotten their hands on a cure.
D had led Eli’s hostage recovery team into Ahdarji to extract two prisoners. She knew from the file they’d compiled on Eli’s team that they were a highly specialized, highly trained former military combat unit. With their contacts, it wasn’t unreasonable that they’d been able to seek help when they all turned into unmanageable shapeshifters.