by B. B. Hamel
I’ve never heard of something so fucked up and wrong in my entire life. But it also terrifies me beyond belief. If Caleb has the support of his father, I’m totally screwed.
Numb, I pull out my phone and I call Caleb. I don’t know what I’m going to say to him. Dan Carter’s car pulls out and heads down the road just as Caleb answers.
“I knew I’d hear from you today,” he says.
“Your father was here. I just talked to him.”
“Oh, really?” I can practically hear the glee in his voice and see his stupid smile. I stare up at the trees, at the light through the branches, and I know that I’m at a turning point.
I’m supposed to roll over and take it. Sending his father here and having him talk to me was designed to break me, to make me give in and do what he wants me to do. I’m supposed to be a good little girl and let him have me. I’m supposed to shut up and let him blackmail me.
Instead of that, I feel anger, overwhelming anger.
“I can’t believe your father knows about this,” I say to him. “What kind of messed up family are you?”
He laughs at that. “He doesn’t know the details. But he knows that we’ll destroy you if you don’t do what I want.”
“Caleb. How can you think this is okay? How can an adult do this? I don’t want you.”
I can’t believe I said that. I’m just so angry that I can barely think. I know I should be saying something else, telling him that I’ll roll over and do what he wants, but I can’t. I’m blinded by so much anger right now that I can barely think.
“Maybe,” he says to me. “But that doesn’t really matter to me right now. I’ll grow on you, I just need you to do the right thing.”
“The right thing would be for you to leave me alone. This is insane. You can’t just destroy this place because I won’t date you.”
“I can’t?” He chuckles softly. “I think you’re wrong about that, actually. I’m better than normal people, Mia. If you’re with me, I can take care of everything you’d ever need.”
“I’d rather puke in my own mouth,” I say to him then hang up the phone.
I’m sweating, shaking, my heart hammering. I feel like I might throw up. The world goes a little fuzzy around me as tears spring into my eyes, but I ball my fists and refuse to freaking cry.
I can’t believe I just told him off like that. I feel so freaking stupid. Even if I’m going to refuse him, I can’t do it like that. I have to be smart about this, because he really is dangerous. I can’t call him up, yell at him, and then hang up on him. That’s just stupid and not tactful at all.
But I’m so angry and disgusted by these people. I can’t believe a grown man would stoop to these games and actually help his son in blackmailing a woman. That’s the lowest, most despicable thing I can imagine, and it truly makes me sick.
The whole situation is fucked beyond belief, and now I’m terrified that I’ve made it worse. I lean up against a tree and wonder what Lucas would do if he were in my position. He’d probably just hunt down Caleb and beat him up until Caleb left him alone. He’d probably approve of that stupid phone call too, actually, now that I think about it.
That brings a little smile to my face. Lucas would have loved hearing me give Caleb shit like that. Even if it’s stupid and reckless, at least I was being honest and standing up for myself.
I stand up and take a deep breath. I get myself under control after a couple minutes and head back down to the office.
I don’t know what’s going to happen, and it was probably dumb to call Caleb like that, but at least it felt good to tell him off. At least I stood up for myself.
Lucas would be proud. And it’s scary how good that thought makes me feel.
13
Lucas
I don’t hear from Mia at all the next day, and that doesn’t surprise me.
There’s something that I don’t know. That has to be the case. She wouldn’t just cast me off like that, not after we had such a good time with her dad, and especially not after we kissed. I know she feels the same way that I do, but what I don’t understand is why she’s trying to deny it.
It was like she was a different person out on the porch. I can’t stop thinking about it all day at work. It’s not like me to obsess about a woman like this, not at all. I’m normally the one that fucks them and leaves them, rarely giving women more than a night. Aside from my ex, I never got into serious relationships, because I never needed to.
I hate feeling like this. I hate wondering what she’s thinking and being unable to find out. I know I can’t call or text her or show up at her work, not at this point. Maybe I can try again in a few days, but I need to give her some space, let her breathe a little bit, let her start to realize that I’m a fucking damn good man and that she needs me.
Because she’ll realize it. Sooner or later, she’ll think back to the way I made her feel when I kissed her and she’ll know that she made a mistake. It’s just a matter of time.
I close up the flower shop at the end of the day and meet Alice back at home. Noah is in a good mood and I scoop him up into my arms, holding him and making him laugh. For a few minutes, I can forget about my troubles with Mia.
Even Alice hasn’t mentioned it all day, which is amazing to me. She’s been bugging me about Mia Hayes, excited out of her mind that I might be seeing someone. But today it’s like she senses what happened between me and Mia yesterday, and she hasn’t said a word.
I put Noah down and let him scoot over to his toys. He smashes them together, laughing and playing, and I watch him, losing myself in the moment. I don’t let myself dwell too much on Mia or the Carters or anything else.
A knock at the door pulls me from my good mood.
“You expecting something?” Alice asks from the kitchen.
“Nope,” I say.
“Can you get it? I’m cooking.”
“Sure.” I stand up and scoop Noah into my arms. “Come on, little man. Did you order something from Amazon?”
I walk over to the front door and pull it open. I stop dead in my tracks, surprised as hell to see Mia standing there, looking a little sheepish.
“Hey,” I say to her.
“Hey,” she says. “I, uh, I brought some dinner.” She holds up a takeout bag. “Hope you like Chinese.”
I grin at her. “Love it.”
“I just wanted to say sorry. For yesterday, on the porch. I’m just…” She trails off, looking at the ground.
“It’s okay,” I say. “Forget it.”
She looks up and smiles. “Is this Noah?”
“It sure is. Noah, say hi.”
He makes a little baby noise and Mia laughs. “You are so cute,” she says. “Can I hold him?”
“Sure,” I say, taking the bag of Chinese takeout and handing him off.
Mia takes him like a pro and laughs a little bit. Noah seems totally comfortable, which is a little unusual. Normally he’s crying for either me or Alice as soon as someone else takes him, but for some reason he doesn’t seem to mind Mia one bit.
“Come inside,” I say. She steps in past me and I shut the door.
“Oooh, Noah, are these your toys?” She coos at him a little bit and he laughs. “Want to play?”
She carries him over into the living room and puts him down. He scoots over to his vacuum and he starts to drag it a little bit while Mia laughs.
“He moves really well,” she says. “I’m impressed.”
“Obviously. I’m his father, after all. Kid’s gonna be a world class athlete.”
She gives me a grin. “You’re that kind of dad, huh? What if he likes musicals instead of sports?”
I grin right back. “Then he’s going to be the best damn singer in the whole world.”
“Good man,” she says, laughing.
“Who’s this?” Alice appears in the doorway of the kitchen.
“Hello, Mrs. Baker,” Mia says. She stands and shakes Alice’s hand.
Alice gives me a bemus
ed look. “She’s polite,” she says.
I laugh a little. “She brought dinner,” I say.
“And generous.” Alice grins at Mia. “Well, honey, you’re welcome here any time.”
“Noah didn’t cry when she took him,” I say pointedly.
“Really now?” Alice gives me a devilish little look. “That’s very rare, you know.”
“I’m glad I have his approval,” Mia says.
“Mind watching him for a second while I get this together?” I say to Mia.
“Of course.” She gets back down with Noah and I drag Alice into the kitchen. Alice gives me a look, like she wants to scream with joy, and I have to put my hands on her shoulders and look her in the eye.
“Calm down,” I say.
“Lucas, she’s—“
“Calm down,” I say again.
She takes a breath. “Okay. You just haven’t brought a girl home in a long time.”
“Relax. Now, what were you cooking?”
She waves her hand. “Just a casserole. It’ll keep for tomorrow.”
“Good.” I smile at her. “Be on your best behavior.”
“Honey, I wouldn’t dream of embarrassing you.”
I release her shoulders and give her a look like we both know that’s not true, but she sets out at once setting the table and preparing. She takes the bag from me and starts pulling out boxes, putting stuff into dishes, basically making it all look good.
I rejoin Mia out in the living room, my heart beating fast.
I don’t know what this means or why she’s here, but I’m not complaining. She’s good with Noah, most importantly. She’s playing with him naturally, and Noah seems like he’s having a good time. I get down next to them and join in on their little game.
“You’re good at this,” I say to her.
“Am I? I don’t really have any experience with babies,” she admits.
“That’s okay. You’re a natural.”
“Dinner is served,” Alice calls from the other room.
I pick up Noah and help Mia to her feet. She smiles at me and I swear there’s a moment between us, something electric and intense. Mia’s wearing what she normally wears to work, and obviously hasn’t gone home yet.
“How’s your dad doing?” I ask her.
“He’s good. Nurse agreed to stay late, which was nice of her.”
“Thanks for coming here,” I say softly. “I’m glad you did.”
“Just returning the favor, I guess.”
I grin at her and we go out into the kitchen. Alice takes Noah and sets about getting him into his chair and feeding him his bottle. She also gives him little pieces of fruit, which of course he makes a mess of, but Mia seems to enjoy it. She laughs when he throws stuff on the ground and feeds him more when he looks at her.
“How’s Laura doing?” Alice asks Mia.
“She’s doing great,” Mia responds. “Been stressful over there, but she’s handling it.”
“Laura’s great,” Alice says. “We go way back, you know. Back to high school, actually. She was pretty intense back then and I don’t think she’s changed one bit.”
Mia laughs a little. “Intense?”
“Sure,” Alice says. “Intense, a lot like this guy here.” Alice gives me a nudge.
“Don’t start,” I say, but it’s too late.
“For example, Lucas once blew up the shed out back. Did you know that?”
Mia looks scandalized. “He didn’t?”
Alice laughs. “He did. Thought it would be fun to experiment with gasoline and matches, but didn’t realize there was a propane tank in there. Nearly killed himself.”
Mia laughs and looks at me. “You were a little pyromaniac.”
“I guess that’s why I joined the military,” I say. “Needed a place to blow shit up and not get in trouble.”
Alice grins at me. “You still need that place.”
“Guess so,” I admit. “Though I don’t play with gasoline and matches anymore. I’m a father now, after all.” I grin at Mia.
She laughs back at me and turns to Laura. “Okay, tell me more stories now. I’m endlessly fascinated.”
Alice gives me a smile. “I like this one.”
“Don’t,” I say to her. “Just, can’t we just eat in peace?”
“Nope,” Mia says. “Come on, Alice, I know you have more.”
Alice launches into a story about the time I stole chickens from our neighbor which only makes me groan. We spend the rest of the meal together, laughing and listening to stories from my childhood, most of which are totally false and overblown. I was a delightful young man, and whenever I got into trouble it was always someone else’s fault, never my own, because I was awesome.
Mia seems totally at ease, which I can’t help but smile at. She’s good with Noah, although I never thought she wouldn’t be. I can tell she’s a good person and all it takes is to be comfortable and caring. You can’t ask for much more than that, and Mia has all of that in spades.
“Okay, enough ragging on me,” I say finally as we’re winding down dinner. “I’m sure Mia doesn’t want to hear anymore stories.”
“Not true at all,” Mia says. “I’m actually loving this.”
“See, Lucas? Some people appreciate my stories.” Alice grins at me.
I sigh, shaking my head. “You two just don’t get me, you know? I was an angel when I was a kid.”
“Well, that’s just not true,” Alice says.
Mia laughs. “I’m sure you were a nice boy,” she says.
“I was awesome,” I answer.
“Let’s just hope Lucas’s, ah, adventurism is tempered in Noah.” Alice winks at me.
I groan a little bit and Mia laughs. Alice stands and carries her plate to the sink.
“Okay, you two, I’m going to steal Noah away for a bit.”
“Bye, little guy,” Mia says. Noah smiles and laughs at her.
Alice unstraps him from his chair and picks him up. She gives me a smile and mouths, “I like her,” as she carries Noah from the room.
I can’t help but smile. It means a lot that Mia came here tonight, spent time with Noah and Alice, and even has Alice’s approval. I don’t know what this mean, if she’s already turning back away from what she said on the porch yesterday, or if she just felt guilty about everything that happened.
I’m not going to read too much into it. Dinner went really well, and I feel really relaxed. “Finished?” I ask her, taking her plate.
“Thanks,” she says. “I can help, you know.”
“Don’t worry about it.” I rinse off the plates and stick them in the dishwasher before sitting back down at the table across from her.
She frowns at me a little bit. “You know, about yesterday—“
“Let’s forget it, okay?” I say to her.
She looks relieved. “Okay then.” She looks around the kitchen. “This is a nice house.”
I shrug. “Yeah, it’s good. I don’t love living at home, but Alice is a lot of help with Noah.”
“I totally understand.”
“Being thirty and living with your stepmom isn’t exactly ideal. But it’s tough, coming back from being overseas and trying to live a normal life again.”
She nods and smiles. “Really, Lucas. You don’t have to explain. I understand, believe me.” She pauses for a second. “You don’t talk much about your life before,” she says.
“In the military?”
She nods. “You don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want.”
“Truth is, I can’t say much. A lot of what I did over there is classified.”
She smiles a little. “That’s right. You’re a big bad Navy SEAL.”
“Damn right I am.”
“Do you ever miss it?” she asks.
“Sure,” I say. “It’s hard not to. It was my life for so long, you know? It gave me purpose. And I was damn good at it.”
“I’m sure you were.”
“And coming hom
e after that… most people don’t understand what it was like, you know? I still have dreams. Nightmares sometimes.”
She leans toward me, eyes locked on mine. “I can’t imagine what it’s like.”
“I miss the structure, you know? I knew what I was going to do and when I was going to do it. Now, back here, it’s like… chaos. Don’t get me wrong,” I say quickly. “I love Noah and Alice.”
“I totally understand,” she says. “You have to get used to living this way again.”
“Right. I don’t know… I’ve never talked like this to anyone before,” I say.
“I’m glad you can tell me.”
“I feel oddly comfortable. With you, I mean.”
“I feel the same way.”
My heart is beating fast in my chest, but I don’t want to push this. “How’s the preserve doing?” I ask her, changing the subject to something lighter.
Her expression goes a little cloudy and she leans away from me. “Fine,” she says a little distantly.
I’m surprised by that reaction. Normally she loves talking about the preserve, at least ever since we started talking. But just mentioning it seemed to shut her down entirely, even more than my complaining about civilian life.
“Alice really seems to like Laura,” I say. “It’s a small world.”
“Yeah,” she says. She smiles at me. “Listen, I should get going.”
“Yeah, sure. Get home to your dad.”
She nods and smiles again before standing up. The spell is broken now but I don’t understand why. I walk her to the front door and she says goodbye before quickly walking away, back to her car.
Just mentioning the preserve seemed to knock her out of the moment. I know she does need to go home and see her dad, since the nurse is waiting for her. The meal went really well, and I even opened up about the war a little bit. I’ve never talked about it before to someone like that, and I can’t believe I felt comfortable enough with her.
But something’s going on with the preserve. I know I’m missing a piece of the puzzle, and clearly it has something to do with her job, but I don’t totally know. It’s all swirling around, the Carters, the preserve, but I can’t seem to put it all together, not yet at least.