by Ava Miles
The veiled glance he gave Peggy made her look elsewhere. Keith put his arms out to Jill. She drew him against her chest, realizing Mac and Peggy would continue to clash. Now that the hotel was coming to town, this would only be the beginning.
“Where’s Brian, Jillie?” Keith asked.
She forced a smile to quell the pang in her heart. “He’s working.”
“Cool. I bet he’ll be so happy for you.” He kissed her cheek and threw his arms around her neck.
She doubted that very much. What happened to her no longer mattered to him now that they’d split up. Her chest suddenly hurt from repressed tears.
“Can we get ice cream?” Keith asked.
“I’m buying,” her grandpa announced, tapping his cane.
“I promised I’d call my sister back after the vote,” Mac replied, stepping out of the circle. “I’ll celebrate with you another time.”
Jill put Keith down. “No, please come.”
He stood apart in his gray wool suit and designer watch. His body language was fluid, but his face had grown distant. All charm had faded. “Not tonight. You did a great job, Jill. I hope your family knows how lucky they are to have you represent them in this town. And I look forward to hearing from you about your long-term decision.”
Yes, the time had arrived.
Mac’s eyes locked with Peggy. Jill didn’t think they’d notice if lightening struck between them. The corner of his mouth tipped up. “Deputy.” Then he ruffled Keith’s hair. He waved to their group and headed off, surrounded by well-wishers.
Jill tried to shake off her anger. “Well, without Mac, I don’t feel much like celebrating.” Not just that. Her bubble had burst. “I have something else I need to do.” It was time to face the music all ‘round.
She kissed everyone goodbye—except Peggy.
When she let herself into her house, she firmed her shoulders and immediately walked to the bathroom. It was time to find out if her worst fears had been realized. Her period still hadn’t come. Better to stop hiding her head into the sand.
Jill went through the whole testing process numb. As she waited for the results, she brushed the tears falling from her eyes. When she saw the plus sign, she put her head in her hands. The unimaginable had happened. She was pregnant.
The thought of having Brian’s baby without him overwhelmed her. She gave into the emotional storm that left her spent and hollow.
What in the world was she going to do now? Keep moving forward, she could almost hear her grandpa say. She’d have to tell Brian tomorrow. God, give her strength. Now that they were splitting up, she expected he’d be leaving Dare soon. For a moment she thought about not telling him until after he’d left. This would slice him in two. He’d have to choose between seeing their child frequently and living in New York pursuing his dream job.
Her hand cupped her stomach. After all these years of dreaming about them having a child together, it was happening. Only they wouldn’t be together.
God, their baby. It didn’t feel real.
Heading back to the family room, she reached for her phone and texted Mac, I want to accept your offer. Let’s talk. I have other things to discuss.
Moving forward was the only thing she could do now. Thank God the hotel had passed. She’d have a new focus now, one that would she hoped would fill the hole inside her.
She’d tell Mac she was pregnant when they spoke. Legally, he couldn’t make an issue of it, but ethically, she wanted to make sure he was okay with her situation.
Tomorrow, she’d share the news with Brian.
A part of her tore in two. She’d have to find a way to become Jill-the-friend again.
She’d call Meredith in the morning and let her sister hold her and tell her it would all work out. The Hales always banded together in a crisis.
Her phone immediately buzzed. Mac’s name appeared on the screen. She picked it up.
It was time to take control of her life.
Chapter 40
Brian heard the news about the hotel from his boss when three city council members showed up for drinks and dessert. He had trouble arranging the orange slices on the New York cheesecake, so he had to take a deep breath to calm himself. What happened to Jill didn’t matter anymore, he told himself. Still, he knew she’d take the job with Mac.
He needed to focus on his own career. His reputation had finally been restored. He needed to start making plans to head to New York. He had no doubt he’d find a job in a Michelin restaurant now.
Orange juice squirted onto his chef coat when his hand clenched around the oranges. He couldn’t bear the thought of never seeing Jill again.
God, he wouldn’t have imagined it, but this hurt more than when he’d lost his reputation as a chef.
More news trickled back to him. Pete was leaving town tomorrow for a new job. Well, hadn’t he said he’d put some feelers out? His stomach clenched with dread, remembering what had happened at PolarFest. He’d tried reaching out to apologize, but Pete hadn’t called or texted him back. He’d have to do some thinking about how he wanted to leave things between them. They weren’t the friends they’d been, but it felt like he was losing another vital part of himself.
***
After another sleepless night in his empty bed, he cruised over to Pete’s house. His friend came down the porch, holding two boxes stacked on top of each other. He inclined his chin in greeting, but didn’t walk over as Brian pulled in front of the house. The tires on Pete’s SUV bulged from the weight of the boxes blocking the back window.
“You didn’t respond to any of my messages, so I’m here to say I’m sorry.”
“Fine,” he snapped.
“I heard you were taking off.” The words spread the hurt in his chest.
“Yeah.” Pete stuffed the boxes in the passenger side. “I decided to take a job at Yellowstone and get the hell out of here. Simple enough to finish my doctorate there while getting paid.”
While the words were easy, the tone wasn’t. The strain between them was as obvious as dried herbs in a fresh salad.
“I’ll say it again,” Brian said. “I was out of line the other night.”
“I was too,” Pete replied, jerking his shoulder. “We were all a bit wired from being at our first PolarFest without Jem.”
“Yeah,” Brian agreed. “Why are you really leaving?”
Pete leaned against the car. “I told you. There are too many memories here.”
God, didn’t he know it? “I don’t like you leaving like this.”
Pete shrugged. “It’s for the best.”
Brian rested on the frame, not knowing what else to say. They both looked out over the snow-covered yard.
“I heard you’ve been staying over at your place the last few nights. Something wrong between you and Jill?” Pete asked.
He cleared his throat. “We broke up.” It was the first time he’d said the words out loud.
“What happened?” he asked.
Staring across the yard, Brian told him everything.
For a long moment Pete didn’t say anything, but he finally said, “I’ll be right back,” and then took off for the house.
Brian rubbed his chest where it hurt while he waited. When Pete returned, he handed him a photo.
“I found this when I was packing my things.”
In the photo he and Jill were sitting close together on a blanket, laughing. It made his breath stop. He remembered that day when they were sixteen. They’d gone hiking in Eagle Pass when all the wildflowers were blooming. He’d wanted so badly to kiss Jill that day.
“Look, I’ve had some time to think about stuff. Things with Jill…have bothered the shit out of me. I understand why she wants to hate me. Hell, part of me hates me. What I’m trying to say is that despite all the crap between Jill and me right now, I know you’ve always wanted her. I saw how much you fought it when we were young, not wanting to lose her or her family when your own was shit.”
Brian looked away. �
��What are you saying?”
“Fuck, I’m saying that I didn’t feel the way you’re feeling when I broke up with Jemma. I don’t care if it makes me a dick, but I felt free when the two of us split. I missed her, yeah, but we had outgrown each other. You’re torn up over this. It fucking bothered you when you and Jill…fell apart after high school. And this time you’ve really been with her, man. Are you sure you want to go through that again?”
“No.” It would be much worse this time.
“Look, I know your parents’ divorce messed you up, but you know what? They didn’t really lose much when they split.”
He turned his head. “What?”
“They didn’t love each other anymore. Why else could your mom hook up with some other guy so quickly? There was nothing to fight for, man. But you and Jill, well you two fight because you care so much. There’s always been this crazy energy between you.”
Brian’s sigh came from a place deep inside him. “No one knows how to push my buttons like she does.”
“Do you remember your parents ever being as happy or passionate as you and Jill are?”
He thought back to his early years. Nothing popped. “They got married young. I don’t know. Maybe not everyone acts like we do.”
“Exactly!”
The photo seemed to mock him. “What the fuck am I supposed to do? Turn my back on the one thing I have back, the one thing I can count on—my career. She doesn’t trust me, Pete.”
His friend laughed out loud. “Can you really blame Jill? Simca is super hot.”
Just what he wanted to hear. “Fuck.”
“Maybe all Jill needs is time. If you leave suddenly like last time, you won’t know. I’m just saying, man.”
Pete was right. He would always wonder if he had given in too easily if he hit the road without talking to Jill again.
“You don’t have to leave town, Pete.” He bumped him like they used to when they were horsing around.
Pete turned all stiff next to him. “It’s…too much here. It’s not the same. I realized that the other night.”
Brian kicked some snow with his boot. “Are we gonna be okay?”
“Yeah.” He slammed the car door and slapped him on the shoulder. Gave him a one-armed man hug. “I gotta finish packing. I want to get going.” He jogged away. “I left something for you at Don’t Soy With Me since I wasn’t sure if I’d see you.”
Brian started to follow. “Pete—”
He turned around. “One last thing. If you decide to stay and get Jill back, will you guys host PolarFest next year? I think we should keep it going.” He tugged on his ball cap. “Jemma…would want that.”
His friend darted inside, the swinging door cracking in the frame. Brian stared at the house. Kicked around some more snow. “Jesus,” he muttered.
He studied the photo of him and Jill again, tracing her face.
Pete was right. Jill had always been it for him. Now, what the hell was he going to do about that?
Chapter 41
Hey, Jill. Thought you’d be taking the morning off after your big win last night. Congrats!” Margie said, pulling the red lever for hot water.
An early morning talk with her sister had been the highlight of her morning. Meredith had been shocked by the news of her pregnancy, but supportive. She’d held Jill as she’d cried and told her she’d be with her when she told her parents and grandpa.
Her hands clutched her purse, trying to keep herself grounded. “Thanks. I haven’t been around as much lately. I appreciate the way you and the crew have picked up the slack.”
And she’d need even more help now that she’d accepted Mac’s job. He had assured her that he still wanted her to work for him. He’d even congratulated her on the baby and outlined his generous maternity benefits. She’d struggled not to blubber on the phone. Her insides twirled like a roller coaster when she thought about all the changes ahead of her. Finding a new manager for Don’t Soy With Me was her next priority.
Her work with him would grow over the next few months while the construction occurred. Mac had an ambitious timetable for the build. The clearing crew had already started, impressing everyone in town. Mac planned to have a grand opening on Independence Day. Having seen the construction company’s references, she believed it would happen.
Margie sidled closer to her. “Pete dropped something off for Brian. Asked you to give it to him.” She patted her on the back.
The pain of not seeing Brian again tore through her. “That’s weird.”
“Pete said he was leaving town, and after the other night…” Margie finished the latte she was making. “It’s on your desk.”
He was leaving? Jill headed for her office with a cup of coffee. She caught sight of Pete’s parting gift as soon as she opened the door. She approached it with a sense of wonder and pain.
The worn football showed over a decade of love. The white seams had turned ivory, the pigskin a dull and worn brown like an old suit. Someone might have thought it was worthless if not for the signature. She picked it up and traced the name—John Elway—the Denver Bronco’s most hallowed quarterback.
It was Pete’s prized possession. And he’d given it to Brian.
He wasn’t coming back for a long time.
She sat there in the silence. The damn Broncos reference made her think back to Brian’s suggestion they move in together. Memories of that time flooded her mind. Just when they’d become closer than she’d ever imagined, she’d run like a rabbit and fallen behind the old walls of hurt. She’d shut him out like he was meaningless to her.
Reaching into her desk drawer, she bypassed their Valentine’s Day photo and pulled out one taken a few weeks ago, after their first dinner. He’d set up his phone to take the shot and tugged her onto his lap. They were gazing into each other’s eyes, her hands fingering the brown hair curling at his nape. No one could mistake the love in their eyes.
He did love her.
She was an idiot.
Her hand caressed her belly. It was time to tell him about the baby. And to ask him for a second chance. She couldn’t bear for him to leave again. Whether he would forgive her or not remained to be seen.
And if he wanted to pursue his dream job now that she had hers, she’d find a way to understand. They could share the baby if nothing else.
Grabbing her phone before she lost her nerve, she texted him. I’m sorry about the other night. Can we talk?
She waited. A few minutes turned into ten. An hour later, she still had no answer.
He wasn’t going to respond. She eyed the clock. He’d be heading to the restaurant soon. Not the place to tell him about the baby, since it was clear he didn’t want to talk to her. She couldn’t blame him. She’d go by his apartment tomorrow.
Her head lowered onto the desk as the tears started.
She’d made a mess of everything, and she’d have to live with that.
Chapter 42
Brian received Jill’s text as he was getting ready to head to work. Just seeing her face pop up on his home screen made him double over in pain. Her message only made him feel worse.
Since he didn’t want to talk to her without something concrete to say, he went to work like a robot. Burned himself on a sauté pan. Overcooked three orders of steak—a first. His boss finally sent him home since it was a slow night. News of his break-up with Jill had spread. Everyone knew why he was fucking everything up.
His apartment was a tomb. He didn’t want to be there. He missed Jill as badly as he’d missed Jemma in the first days after her death, the grief so fresh he hadn’t functioned for days.
And then he realized something so simple he felt stupid.
Jill was still alive. Jemma wasn’t.
What the fuck was he doing?
He didn’t want to be without Jill. He’d rather fight with her than live a passionless existence with anyone else, particularly when making up was so fun. And hadn’t they been happy living together until the shit hit the fan?
He and Jill’s relationship was nothing like his parent’s. What a fucking epiphany!
The situation with Simca would have been tough for even a time-tested couple to handle.
Jill needed more time to trust him and understand just how much he loved her.
As he stroked Mutt’s folds on the couch, he came to the decision to stay in Dare. It was the only decision.
But keeping the job at The Chop House wasn’t an option. He’d suffocate there. So, he needed another plan. Something long-term because that’s what he wanted with Jill.
He fell into cooking, opening himself up to inspiration. The perfect idea came at 4:11 A.M. as he was baking Jill her favorite raspberry scones.
He would open his own place here and find another partner. And there was only one man he respected enough to approach.
After a couple hours of sleep, he headed up to Arthur Hale’s house. Knocking on the door, he stuffed his hands in his pockets, trying to control his nerves. The door opened.
Arthur tapped his cane on the hardwood floor. “You’ve got a hell of a nerve coming here after what you did to my granddaughter,” he growled.
His reaction wasn’t unexpected. “If I really had done anything, do you think I would have shown up on your doorstep? Will you let me explain? I could use your help—and advice.”
Those bushy brows drew together. “Jill blasted me for getting in the middle last time.”
He snorted. “You’re always in the middle when it comes to your family.”
The cane tapped in rapid beats. “Fine! Come in, but don’t expect me to make you coffee like it’s some social call.”
“Understood,” Brian answered and followed him inside.
The house still bore the vestiges of time. Generations of possessions—from black-and-white photos on antique furniture to a cherry wood record player—gave it a homey feel. He hoped to have a place like this with Jill someday.
“So, why are you risking being caned by an old man?” Arthur fired off.
“Let me explain.” Brian sat on a flowery upholstered chair and ran him through what had happened the other night, even showing him the article in which Simca had cleared his name.