by Lucy Gordon
Everyone except Rinaldo laughed at this.
‘OK, OK,’ he said, ‘I know you think I act like a crazy man.’
Alex touched his face. ‘It’s all right. Don’t worry.’
He made a noise that sounded like a growl, and stepped back from the car, letting Alex start up. Laura smiled as she waved goodbye to Gino, trying to tell herself not to mind about what she had just heard.
What did it matter that Gino and Alex had exchanged private phone numbers, and she hadn’t known about it?
On that first day the two women and Nikki went to see the ‘haunted’ house. It was about a hundred years old, a great barn of a place, but solidly made.
‘Does it really have a ghost?’ Laura asked.
‘A woman murdered her faithless lover here years ago,’ Alex said. ‘Now she’s supposed to wander for ever, wailing. If she exists, I feel sure Nikki will find her.’
But Nikki had nothing to report, even seeming to feel cheated. She managed to convey the impression that in a well-ordered house there would have been a ghost.
‘But even without a ghost, it’s a lovely place,’ Alex pointed out. ‘Of course, it needs some work. There’s no electricity or running water, but that’s easy to arrange. And when it’s been redecorated, just think how it would look.’
Laura said nothing. A chill fear was gathering in her stomach, spreading out to encompass all of her. Alex was telling her that she and Gino could return to the farm and live here.
Obviously that was her plan. Rinaldo seemed to be a disagreeable man, and perhaps her marriage to him had disappointed her. Now she regretted driving Gino away, and was tempting him back.
Laura pulled herself together, telling herself to be sensible. But how often had she already told herself this in the short time since she’d been here? Too often. Last night Alex and Gino had been absorbed in each other’s company, today there had been the hint of secret conversations.
Well, what else had she expected? She’d always known the truth.
On the second day Nikki went with Rinaldo and Gino to watch the gathering of the harvest. Alex took Laura into Florence.
‘I have to go first to see my employer,’ she said.
‘Your employer?’
‘I can’t just be a farmer’s wife. I was an accountant in England, and now I’m learning Italian accountancy in the office of a man called Tomaso Andansio. Sometimes he gives me things to take home and work on. Today I have some files to return to him.’
She stopped at a set of offices in the Via Bonifacio Lupi, and introduced Laura to Signor Andansio as ‘my sister-in-law’.
She was treated as an honoured guest, offered coffee and cakes while Alex was going over the files she’d brought with her boss. Then Signor Andansio himself showed her around the building, which was a place of great historical interest. It was an enjoyable visit.
But as she was returning to the office where Alex worked, she saw, through the open door, Alex answer her mobile with the soft words, ‘Ciao, Gino.’
Then her host drew her attention to a picture on the wall, and she heard no more of the conversation until Signor Andansio turned away for a moment, and a few words reached Laura clearly.
‘No, I haven’t said anything yet-I have to wait for the right moment-no, caro, I want to explain this to her myself-promise that you will leave it to me.’
She hung up. When Laura entered the office a few moments later nobody could have told her inner misery from her smile.
Mercifully there was no need for private conversation as they had lunch with some friends of Alex’s. It extended deep into the afternoon, so there was only the journey home to get through, and they managed that by discussing the lunch.
At home Nikki was waiting with an eager account of her day. Laura listened attentively, trying not to watch Gino and Alex to see if they were talking. She saw nothing that would have aroused her suspicions normally, but these conditions weren’t normal.
For the first time she knew the bitter destructiveness of jealousy, and wished she could be anywhere in the world but here.
Alex was obviously tired, and as soon as the meal was over Rinaldo suggested that she go to bed, in a peremptory way that was almost an order. She smiled and agreed.
Laura also chose an early night, bidding the brothers goodnight and leaving them together while she went up with Nikki. When she had seen the little girl to bed she returned to her own room and sat by her window, wondering what had happened to her life.
Down below she could hear Gino and Rinaldo talking in Tuscan, their voices sounding contented.
Does Rinaldo know? she wondered. Does he suspect? Is that why he’s so ill-tempered?
After a while the voices stopped and she heard them come upstairs. A click of the latch and Gino was there with her.
‘You’re not in bed yet,’ he said.
‘No, I waited up. I was watching the night. It’s different from England, so much blacker and more velvety.’
He was pulling off his clothes.
‘You’re right. It’s beautiful, isn’t it? Have you ever seen anywhere as lovely as Tuscany?’
‘No,’ she said quietly. She was sick at heart.
He’d stripped naked now, and slipped his arms about her.
‘I’m glad you’re still up,’ he said, nuzzling her neck.
‘I waited because I wanted to talk to you,’ she said, trying not to respond to the excitement he could create in her so easily.
‘What is there to talk about?’
‘How can you ask?’ she said. ‘We came here for a reason-to sell the farm.’
‘Mm!’ he said against her hair.
‘You’ve been talking to your brother for days. Haven’t you-decided anything yet?’ It was hard to talk while he was touching her purposefully.
‘It’s not easy to value the place until the harvest is in,’ he murmured. ‘We shall have to stay a little longer for that. I thought you liked Belluna.’
‘It’s a beautiful place but-Gino, please-I must ask you-’
‘Not now,’ he murmured against her neck. ‘I’ve been thinking of this all day.’
Of this, she noted. Not of her.
‘Gino-’
‘Hush, kiss me-kiss me-’
She should be strong and refuse, but his lips were already against hers and she was kissing him whether she meant to or not.
She felt her nightdress slip to the floor and then he was taking her to bed and making love to her with a vigorous ardour that left her no chance to think, or to be aware of anything but the shattering sensation of having him inside her, driving her on to more and more pleasure.
It was only afterwards, when he was deeply asleep on the other side of the bed, and she lay alone and sad, that she wondered whether not giving her a chance to think had been the idea all along.
Laura dreaded the next day when she must smile and talk and try to seem normal, but in the event she was allowed a little merciful solitude. Rinaldo and Gino went to Florence. Alex rested, and Nikki joined her new friends in the kitchen, learning to cook.
Laura took the car that had been placed at her disposal, and drove out to explore the landscape. By a stream she stopped and got out to walk, hoping that her mind might become clearer.
By the time she returned to the vehicle she had recovered her courage. What did they think she was, to sit idly by while they decided her fate and informed her at ‘the right moment’? Was she supposed to be such a fool that a little cynical lovemaking could silence her fears?
She drove back to the house. Rinaldo’s car stood outside, so Gino and Rinaldo must have returned. But when she walked onto the veranda she could see only Gino, sitting with Alex, a grave look on his face.
They both smiled when they saw her, but she could sense their unease.
‘I’ve come to say that I want to go home,’ she said simply. ‘I need to go back to the guest house, and Nikki must return to school. It’s been kind of you to have us-’ she nodded t
o Alex ‘-but now it’s time for us all to leave-if Gino will come with me.’
She thought she heard Alex murmur, ‘Oh, no,’ as Gino rose to his feet in consternation.
‘Laura, please, I beg you abandon this idea. I know you only want to live in England and I’d hoped for more time to explain to you-’
‘Perhaps you don’t need to explain,’ she said, her eyes kindling. Turning to Alex, she said, ‘It’s no accident that you asked Gino to return, is it? You always meant to keep him here.’
‘That’s true,’ Alex said simply.
Whatever Laura had expected it wasn’t such a ready admission. She drew in her breath, bracing herself for the worst while Alex continued speaking.
‘As you say, it’s no accident. I always meant him to stay, and you, and Nikki. But we knew you’d need a lot of persuading, so we waited, hoping that you’d come to love this country. Perhaps we waited too long. Many times I’ve wanted to confide in you.’
‘Confide what?’ Laura asked slowly, for there was a note in Alex’s voice that made her wonder.
‘That I’m worried about Rinaldo-the baby is due soon-’
‘Gino told me about his first wife and child. Is that it?’
‘Yes, but there’s more,’ Alex said earnestly. ‘The baby keeps turning and facing the wrong way. The doctors keep turning it back, so that I don’t have a breech birth, but then it swings around again. It’s no big deal. Lots of women have breech births, but Rinaldo gets anxious.’
There was a fond note in her voice, and a soft tenderness in her eyes.
New understanding came to Laura. ‘But it might be a big deal, mightn’t it?’ she asked.
‘Not really. It’s just that-well, if something went wrong-oh, Laura I’m so glad you and Gino are here. Rinaldo couldn’t bear it if anything happened to me. He’s not as tough as he tries to make out, and he depends on me so much. He would need his brother, desperately.’
‘Alex, you’re not going to die,’ Laura said.
‘No, I don’t believe that I am, but if I did-I dread to think of him left alone.’
She looked up with a frantic appeal in her eyes. Laura’s head seemed to be reeling with what she’d heard. Then Alex said something that shocked her.
‘And if I weren’t here-you could come and live in Italy, couldn’t you?’
She gasped. ‘Alex, what are you saying?’
‘I’m putting it very badly, but I must try to make things right for Rinaldo now in case I can’t do it then.’
Before Laura could answer there was the sound of footsteps outside.
‘Rinaldo!’ Alex said. ‘Gino, please-’
He went out and they heard him hailing his brother, then their voices going in the opposite direction.
‘Quickly before they come back,’ Alex said. ‘I wanted to say to you that if anything happens, Rinaldo will need his family. And then-then you wouldn’t be afraid of me any more.’
‘I’m not afraid of you,’ Laura said firmly.
‘Aren’t you? You don’t need to be, you know.’
‘I don’t know what gave you such ideas-’ she said lamely.
‘I’ve seen you watching Gino, wondering. You know our story. Didn’t you come here to find out?’ Alex sighed. ‘Maybe I’ve been selfish. I was racking my brains for a way to bring Gino home for Rinaldo’s sake, but I couldn’t do it while there was any chance that he might still have feelings for me. And then his letter came, telling us about you, and I knew everything was all right.’
‘You make it sound so simple,’ Laura sighed.
‘Sometimes it can be.’
‘The situation between Gino and me is not simple,’ Laura said. ‘And since I came here the two of you have seemed to be sharing a secret.’
‘But not the secret you thought. I explained everything to him on the first evening. We should have told you then, but we thought you’d refuse if we dumped it on you too soon. I wanted you to fall in love with Tuscany first, so that you’d want to stay here.’
Alex gave a little laugh at herself.
‘I thought I was being so clever, having it all worked out. But I have no gift for intrigue. I used to have, but that was in the days when figures were my whole life. It’s easy to be clever with figures.’
She took Laura’s hand in hers.
‘You won’t tell Rinaldo any of this, will you? It would only worry him more.’
‘Not a word,’ Laura promised. ‘And look, none of this is going to happen. You’re going to have that baby, and you’ll both be fine.’
‘And then you plan to leave? That’s what you’re telling me, isn’t it?’
Laura hesitated. ‘I don’t know,’ she said at last. ‘I simply don’t know.’
They didn’t speak of it again. There was nothing for Laura to do now but bide her time until the child was born. Then she would know, she told herself. But to say that was to ignore all the other times she’d promised herself that she would know at some moment in the future. And still she was uncertain.
She set herself to learn as much as possible about Belluna, its ways and its people. If she must make a decision, at least it would be an informed decision.
Rinaldo still seemed to her a grouchy, ill-tempered, domineering man. But, armed with her new knowledge she could see that he was living on his nerves, and once or twice she caught him regarding his wife with a look of such terrified vulnerability that Laura was pulled up short. But if he noticed anyone observing him the look vanished quickly, to be replaced by a harsh glare.
Alex drove her all over the estate, seeming to understand, without words, her need to know as much as possible. Once she stopped at a small church and led Laura to a quiet corner of the graveyard, where one stone stood alone. Laura couldn’t understand the words, but she read the names,
Maria Farnese, aged twenty-three, and Isabella Farnese, born and died on the same day.
‘She was Rinaldo’s childhood sweetheart,’ Alex said. ‘Gino said they were so happy, but they had less than two years together. She died giving birth, and Isabella died within an hour. He still comes here.’
‘Do you mind that?’ Laura couldn’t help asking.
Alex seemed genuinely surprised by the question. ‘Of course not. The past is the past. Denying it is as futile as being jealous of it. Rinaldo loves me, and I love him. But she loved him too, and she still does. I come here sometimes to reassure her that I’m taking good care of him.’
‘You-?’
Alex looked at Laura’s astounded face and burst out laughing.
‘It’s all right, I’m not crazy, although I suppose I sound like it. If I were still the person I was when I lived in London I’d think I was crazy too. But I’m Italian now and it’s different here.’
‘How?’ Laura asked urgently.
‘You feel things in the air. It’s something to do with families-they’re very strong in Italy, and people go on being family members even after they die. It’s almost as though they haven’t died at all. I know Maria as if I’d spoken to her. Rinaldo is a sacred trust that she gave me to care for, and one day I’ll answer to her for how well I protected our husband.’
The implied words, ‘and it might be soon,’ hung in the air. But nobody spoke them. Nobody needed to.
As they left the churchyard Alex said cheerfully, ‘I gather we’re going to have a treat at supper tonight.’
‘I hope it turns out to be a treat,’ Laura said fervently. ‘Nikki really fancies herself as a cook.’
‘Don’t worry. Teresa will keep a close eye on her, and it’ll come out right.’
‘I don’t even know what she’s cooking,’ Laura admitted. ‘They all closeted themselves in the kitchen this morning, and when I looked in Nikki drove me away and said it was a big secret.’
Alex laughed. ‘I can’t wait.’
Suddenly she stopped and clutched the nearest head-stone, gasping heavily.
‘Alex, what is it?’
Alex spoke in a strange voice.
‘I think my waters have broken.’
‘Yes,’ Laura said tensely. ‘Then you’re going to start contracting soon. Where’s the phone? We’ll call an ambulance.’
Alex grasped her hand. ‘It’ll take time for it to get here. Would you mind driving me to the hospital yourself? It’s in Florence, near the Via Bonifacio Lupi, where I took you before.’
‘All right, let’s get you into the car.’
She helped Alex to the vehicle and eased her into the back where she had more room. Then she got behind the wheel, wishing there wasn’t so far to drive to Florence.
‘Surely it’s not due?’ she asked over her shoulder as she swung out into the road.
‘Not until next week, but I guess the baby’s picked its own time,’ Alex said with another gasp which escalated into a groan. ‘Laura, you had a baby. How long after the waters do the contractions begin?’
‘It varies. With some women it’s twenty-four hours. With me it was three. But it can be a lot quicker.’
‘It couldn’t be just a few minutes, could it?’
‘Yes,’ Laura said frantically. ‘I believe it could. Hold on. I’m going as fast as I can. Thank goodness these country roads are clear. I hadn’t quite realised what a big place Belluna is.’
Suddenly Alex screamed.
‘You can’t be having contractions yet,’ Laura protested. ‘It’s much too soon.’
‘Would you like to tell the baby that?’ Alex demanded with grim irony. ‘Oh God!’
Laura made a desperate decision.
‘What are you stopping for?’ Alex cried.
‘There’s still a good hour before we get there. And I don’t think we have that long.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘When I had Nikki something like this happened to the woman in the next bed. She told me her baby had come so fast it was born in the ambulance.’
‘You think that’s happening?’
‘Don’t you?’
‘Yes!’
Laura jumped out and got into the back. Alex was fumbling for her phone, calling Rinaldo.
‘It’s happening, amor mio. Very quickly. We’ve stopped the car at-’ She described their location, but the words ended in another prolonged gasp. Laura took the phone from her.