There’s not a chance in hell I’m giving up on her, She’s mine, I’m hers. That ain’t ever changing, whether she likes it or not.
Chapter 3
Cindy
"Cindy it’s time to play. Cindy. Cindy! CINDY!" I wake up with a jolt and peel my eyes open only to be faced with my second worst nightmare.
Bailey hovers over me, dressed in her Frozen pajamas and with her inky black hair plaited to the side.
"What the hell, Bailey?" I groan as I turn away from the evil little girl.
"It’s time to get up, you've gotta play with me."
"What time is it?" I ask, not really caring since I've not exactly got anywhere to be.
"I don’t know; I can’t tell the time dumbo." I don’t care what anyone says, no jury would blame me for putting this kid in a choke hold. They’d only have to see one of the many home videos of her stamping her feet and screaming like a banshee to understand.
"I’m not playing with you, it’s too early. Go and bother one of the others or something."
I settle under the purple duvet, snuggling into my pillow.
"MOM, CINDY WONT PLAY WITH ME!" Her screaming ricochets through my body like a boomerang. I imagine the sound of Bailey's screaming has the same effect as stepping on a rake.
"Holy shit, do you have to shout so loud this early in the morning?"
"MOM, CINDY SAID A BAD WORD!"
She runs out of the room, slamming the door behind her so hard that the picture of a ballerina hanging on her wall falls off and smashes on hitting the ground.
"Home sweet fucking home." I say to myself while climbing out of the bed. "Share a room with Bailey they said, it'll be fun girl time they said."
The one thing I am thankful for is that Bailey is no longer wetting the bed. It took me almost an hour to get to sleep last night imagining her peeing all over me from the top bunk.
I narrowly avoid stepping on the broken glass as I open the bedroom door only to be almost run over by my brother.
"Sorry, I’m late for work. Oh crap, Mr. Creed's gonna kill me if I’m late again." Aiden calls while running down the stairs, two at a time.
I follow behind him, half asleep. The smell of bacon and eggs drifts under my nose and quickly wakes me up. There’s nothing like my Mom's cooking. Stepping into the den, Bailey's toys are already littered around the floor and her Frozen sing-a-long disk is playing. I've gotta give the kid one thing, she’s a quick worker.
Stepping into the kitchen, I narrowly avoid being knocked onto my ass by Avery, who's running for the door, a piece of toast sticking out of her mouth.
"Hello, am I invisible or something?"
"Sorry." She mumbles, with a mouth full of food. "I’m late."
"Hey honey." My Mom's smiling face looks up at me from over the stove. "Breakfast is ready. You sleep well?"
"You mean apart from the early morning wakeup call from kidzilla in there?"
"I see someone’s still grouchy in the mornings."
"And I see someone’s still disgustingly chipper in the mornings."
"Well, you know what I say, wake up an hour early and-"
"And get an hour more to live, yeah, yeah!" Wow, even I heard myself that time. The old Cindy would be spitting out her cereal with how pessimistic I've become. "I’m sorry Mom, I’m just tired. Bailey is not the easiest person to share a room with."
"It’s ok honey. Actually, me and your Dad were discussing maybe doing up the attic for you so that you don’t have to share a room with Bailey. We could get you a nice bed, stick some wallpaper on the walls and make it look real pretty."
"That sounds great Mom but isn’t that a lot of work? I’m only here for the Summer."
"I know, but you should be comfortable." Uh huh, I’m onto her game. She thinks that if she makes me comfortable enough I'll never want to leave.
"Sure, thanks Mom." I walk on over to my Mom and give her a kiss on the cheek.
Her warm smile makes me feel a little better and she quickly fills my hands with a plate of bacon and eggs. I dig in, the food hitting just the right spot. This is the thing I miss most about living at home, the food. Living with Vanessa, breakfast usually comprised of an energy bar and a dinner of instant noodles. Before that, when I lived with the nameless one, we had takeout nearly every night. One thing is for sure, I definitely did not inherit my Mom's talent for cooking. I can barely fry an egg and on the off chance I do succeed, I usually end up with a second degree burn somewhere. I think it’s safer for all involved if I just stay out of the kitchen to avoid killing myself with spitting fat and boiling water, let alone poisoning some poor unsuspecting soul.
I scoff my food down as if it’s my last meal and wash it all down with a cup of steaming hot coffee. I feel much more awake now.
"So, what're you gonna do today?" My Mom asks, wiping her hands down the cupcake patterned apron she’s been wearing in the kitchen my entire life.
"Nothing." I shrug.
"I’ve gotta run Grandma to the store, you wanna come?" Yeah just the thought of walking around the grocery store with Bailey and my Grandma and her cane that doubles as a weapon has me wanting to head back to bed.
Just as I’m about to reply with some lame excuse, I’m saved by the bell and by bell, I mean the shrill ringing of my phone. Connected to the charger on the worktop, I can see the flashing screen from here and quickly stride on over to see who it is. I almost spew my breakfast up on seeing Liv's flashing name light up the screen. After not hearing from her in almost two months after she finally gave up trying to get a hold of me, I’m more than shocked. There’s no way she could already know I’m back in town unless she’s seen either my Dad or one of my siblings. Then again, in a town as small as Franklin, all it would take is one person to spot me getting out of the car and everyone would know within the hour.
I stare at the screen until it darkens. It's either stare at the screen or have to meet my Mom's questioning look. I keep my eyes on it for a few seconds more, expecting it to start flashing again but it doesn’t. Seems she’s got the hint. I'd be lying if I said I don’t feel guilty snubbing my friend. What would I say to her though? No, it’s better this way. I don’t need any more connections to a certain someone. It’s hard enough as it is.
"Who was that?" My Mom asks almost nonchalantly.
"Insurance." I say looking up, impressed at my quick answer. "You know those people who call to ask if you’ve had an accident at work or something." Wow, the lies are just coming out all by themselves.
I almost wish I would get the sick pit in my stomach within five seconds of telling a lie. I don’t even know when I started lying so much, I know I never used to be able to bare it. The guilt would eat away at me until I just had to tell someone. Now, my mouth has a total mind of its own and I’m dropping them left right and center.
I look at my Mom, expecting her to call me out on my fibbing, but she just carries on as if I haven’t even spoken.
"I’m going to take a shower." I sigh, placing the phone back on the granite worktop and shuffling my feet through the doorway to the den and towards the stairs.
Bailey's still way into watching the movie, belting out the words to the song in the loudest voice she can. She’s not gonna win any talent contests but it’s still cute to watch. My feet sink into the thick cream carpet on the stairs and I can’t wait to put my head under that shower. I’m doubtful over how much hot water is actually left after the amount of people that have already showered, but I feel all sticky and grouchy.
After fetching a huge fluffy towel out of the linen closet which is in complete disarray, I make my way into what is officially known as the kid’s bathroom. Whereas the guest bathroom and my parents ensuite is in a much neater and luxurious décor, my Mom and Dad learned a long time ago that kids and nice things don’t go together well. The tiles are a light powder blue with nets hanging off them filled with bath toys. There are like three different shampoos on the side of the bathtub and various scented shower
gels and bubble bath. I turn the shower on and discard my pajamas which are basically a pair of sleep shorts and a certain guy’s old t-shirt. I don’t read too much into the fact I still wear it to bed. It’s comfortable and the fabric is soft against my skin after so many washes. Maybe a small part of me is attached to it for reasons I won’t openly admit, but I’m entitled to it.
I step into the bathtub and under the overhead shower after pulling the glass shower screen across. The water is hot and relaxing and the scent of my strawberry shampoo which I lather into my hair soothes me. With my long dark hair as thick as it is, I have to use like half a bottle of conditioner to be able to get a comb through it afterwards. It’s one of the less appealing physical trait’s I inherited from my Mom's Italian family. Though my sister Avery inherited my Grandma's fiery temper and Bailey inherited the attitude, I got lumbered with the thick heavy hair that snaps more hair ties than I can count.
The water quickly turns cold and I step out, nearly tripping over the soft blue mat on the floor. I wrap the towel round me and leg it over to the room I’m sharing with Bailey. My suitcase lies open at the foot of the bed and I’m sure bailey will be trifling through it as soon as she can. I get out a pair of grey sweatpants and a tank top, not really too bothered with making an effort. I put my hair up in a messy high ponytail and skip out of the room.
I swear I can hear talking coming from the kitchen as I hop from step to step on the stairs. I can see Bailey reclining on the couch still in front of the TV, so I know it’s not her. Maybe my Dad came home early or my brother or sister. Either way, on walking into the kitchen, the last person I ever expect to see is sitting at the breakfast bar.
Her hair is tied in a side ponytail, her blond curls cascading down. Her tanned legs are crossed and a cup of coffee is in her manicured hands. I can only stand in the doorway like a complete dummy as Liv sit’s and chats to my Mom. I don’t know what the hell is going on here but I feel so claustrophobic and cornered, I just wanna run and run and run.
"Cindy dear, look who's come to see you." My Mom says, finally noticing me with my mouth halfway to the floor.
Liv’s beautiful blue eyes take me in, how perfect she looks makes me feel like crap in my sweats and old tatty top. I must look like a real sorry state.
"Hey, Cindy." Her sweet voice and small wave finally activate my voice box.
"H-Hey." My voice is all scratchy and clogged up.
"Well, girls, I’m gonna leave you two to it, I better go and get Bailey ready to go to Grandma's. It was great seeing you again Liv."
"You too, Mrs. Martin."
"Oh dear, how many times do I have to tell you? Call me Deena." My Mom gives Liv an affectionate pat on the shoulder before leaving the room with me still standing at the entrance like some kind of mannequin.
Do you know when you trash talk someone after coming off the phone only to find out they’re still on the line? That’s exactly how I feel in this moment. Just good old mortification. I finally convince my legs to move and take a seat next to her. I’m positive that my face is a picture. The fact that not even an hour ago I ignored her call just makes this even worse.
"How are you?" You can cut the tension with a knife, but for some reason, I don’t think Liv even notices.
"I’m good thanks, are you?" I answer, feeling all kinds of awkward.
"I’m good." She nods. "I heard you were back in town and wanted to come see you. I haven’t seen you in so long."
If it wasn’t for the fact that I like to think I know Liv well enough to know she’s doesn’t pull any punches and she certainly isn’t into the whole two-faced thing other girls are, I’d think she was probably here to kick me when I’m down. Liv isn't like that though, she’s actually quite the opposite, which is what makes this visit even more puzzling. It's times like this I wish I wasn’t such a chicken who sticks their head deep into the sand cause then I could ask. Instead, I'll probably just carry on tiptoeing around the issue.
"I know it has been ages." There are so many questions on the tip of my tongue just dying to be unleashed but I guess I’m scared of the answers. I would rather be oblivious to the truth than have to hear it.
I look around the room, at anything but the girl sitting next to me, my fingers drumming on the worktop.
"Argh, I can’t fucking do this." Liv groans, though I think it’s more to herself than to me. "Get dressed, we're going out."
"W-What?"
"I said, we're going out, you've been left to drown in your self-pity for long enough so get fucking ready and we'll go out for coffee." Am I the one that’s crazy? Right now I feel like I am.
"I don’t-"
"Nuh uh, don’t even think about it." She holds her finger up in an attempt to shush me. "Listen Cindy, I can see it written all over your face and I just want you to know I’m not mad. I get it, I understand what the past six months have been about and that’s ok, but it’s time to pull your ass out of whatever funk you've been in, dust it off and carry on."
"I’m ok, really I am."
"Ok I call bullshit. Nobody's heard from you in six months. I've called, I've text and nothing. Now if I was one of those immature bitches I would cut you off and move on, but I know you. So go get out of those sweats, put something nice on, brush your hair and let’s go. I'll wait down here and be having the rest of this coffee. That shit Pam has filled the house with is killing me, so don’t push me on this. I've had no caffeine in three days, that is seventy-two hours. Now, go, go, go!" I’m practically pushed from the stool and shooed away. All I can do is follow her instructions even though my mind is in complete turmoil.
***
I came down the stairs to find Liv waiting by the front door. We walked to the car in silence, we drove to Annabelle’s in silence and we took our seats in complete and utter silence. Liv acted as if it was completely normal and I probably looked like I had a gun held to my back. I’m now sitting in a comfortable brown leather tub chair while Liv stands at the counter to put our order in to Avery. It was pretty weird walking into Annabelle’s, a place I've spent so much time in and seeing my sister behind the counter.
I don’t feel as crappy as I did this morning and I definitely don’t feel so dead. My hair is sleek and straight down my back, probably the neatest it’s been in months. Going out with the beautiful Liv, I've always felt a certain obligation to look nice, to make a little more effort. Not due to jealousy or envy, it’s just when you’re walking down the street or as with right now, sitting in a coffee house with someone as impossibly beautiful as Liv, it’s hard not to feel all shitty in some sweats. That’s what encouraged me to pick out my orange and grey paisley jumpsuit. It slips just off the right shoulder and is so flattering. Paired with my grey suede sling back wedges, I feel pretty damn good about myself. Actually, I feel better than I have in months. It may have something to do with seeing Liv and actually wearing something other than sweats. Then again, it may be that I've got a pair of decent shoes on my feet. Some people love purses, some love jewelry, me? I love love love shoes.
Liv walks on over here and takes a seat on the chair opposite, crossing her tanned legs and staring intently at me. I shuffle uncomfortably under her scrutiny. I don’t know what to say, I don’t know how to react.
"Why are you speaking to me?" I’m surprised at myself for spitting that question out because it was one of the questions on my 'you don’t want the real answer' list. A small smile breaks onto Liv's face.
"I told you, I’m not mad at you." She shrugs.
"Why not? I've been ignoring you for months, you should be pissed, really pissed."
"That’s the exact reason why I’m not mad at you. You've just admitted that you've been ignoring me, any other fake bitches would be trying to worm their way out of it. I kinda understand where you were coming from. Hell, if Noah and I broke up, I would need some time out too. I can’t be mad at you for wanting to take a break from everything. Do I wish that you'd have felt you could come to me? Yes, of course.
Do I wish that you didn’t go through it alone? Absolutely. Most of all, I wish you'd have known that no matter how close Dickwad and Noah are, I would have had your back. I know what it’s like to wanna run from your life Cindy, I get it."
I don’t even know what to say to that or even how to react. The fact that she can compare my pathetic problems to what she’s been through has me feeling terrible. I do the only thing that I can muster the energy to. I burst into tears. I cover my face with my hands and sob into them in the middle of the half full coffee house with my sister standing right behind the counter.
"Hey, hey don’t cry. It's ok." Liv wraps her arm around my shoulder and rubs up and down.
"I’m s-sorry." I sniffle out. "I’m sorry I ignored you. I’m so sorry I was such a bad friend."
"It’s ok, it's ok." Her kind words and the comfort she’s offering just has me balling even more. I hate to think what the other customers are thinking. They’re probably wondering who the crazy lady is. "Let it all out, Cindy. You'll feel better, you need this." I do need this, I really do.
In the middle of Annabelle’s coffee house, I sob my broken heart out. The shame of my actions, the regret for how my plans have turned out but most of all the grief for what will never be. My head has completely been dislodged from the sand and though I can breathe easier now, I’m not sure whether I prefer being the zombie or in this much pain.
"Cindy, are you ok?" I hear my sister's voice as she places what I’m guessing are our coffees on the table.
"She’s good Avery, she’s just happy to be home. They're happy tears, right Cindy?" I’m grateful for Liv's quick thinking.
"Y-yes I’m fine Avery, I’m just being an emotional mess." I let out a small fake laugh that causes Liv to slightly squeeze me as if in understanding.
"Oh, ok." Avery nods, not looking wholly convinced before heading back towards the counter, glancing back a few times.
"Ok, now dry those tears before the whole of this nosy ass town hears about it and get that coffee down you. Coffee makes everything better, trust me." I let out a laugh at Liv's reasoning.
Forever Together (Forever Love #2) Page 3