Chapter 10
Cindy
I sit in the Travers slash Preston family kitchen and wait for the onslaught of questions after my confession.
"So you kissed?" Liv asks before taking a sip of her coffee, letting out a contented sigh.
"Yes." I sigh.
"Was it good?"
"Yes." I sigh again.
"Maybe it’s not over then." She shrugs.
"Don’t say that." I groan, even though I've been thinking that exact thing in the seven days since Brady dropped me off at my parents and roared away.
Why hasn’t he called? I mean, I know I told him I wanted space and that the kiss was a mistake but I thought he would at least try a little harder. Maybe he didn’t feel the same things in that kiss that I did. Maybe he didn’t feel the fireworks light up his whole body like I did. Maybe he forgot about it immediately after whereas I've thought of nothing but.
I look over to Liv who's giving me a raised eyebrow and the pursed lips look.
"What?" I narrow my eyes.
"Nothing." she shrugs.
This is where things get interesting. The old Cindy, the Cindy from a couple of days ago would have nodded, ducked her head down and ignored the fact that Liv obviously has something on her mind. The brand spanking new Cindy though, reborn from the ashes of Brady’s fiery kiss, isn't gonna do that. I think. Ok, maybe I'm still a bit of a wuss but brand spanking new Cindy is only seven days old!
"Seriously, what?" My voice comes out softer than I intend, making me sound not like the forceful woman I hoped but more like a kitten with a sore throat.
"I just can’t believe you kept this kiss a secret for a whole week." Every word gets louder and louder. "A whole fucking week, Cindy. Seriously?"
"I'm sorry?" I have no idea what the protocol is for this. After all, as I said before, usually I just duck my head and brush it under the carpet.
I bring my coffee up to my mouth, the steam tickling my nose.
"So, did you get a feel of the goods?" She wags her eyebrows up and down, unfortunately at the same moment I take a sip. It seems that snorting and drinking are not a good combination. Who’d have thought?
"Oh crap." I practically gargle.
The very hot dark coffee runs down my chin and my brand new white chiffon blouse. I just had to pick today to wear white. This is definitely not something the new Cindy would do.
Liv jumps out of the stool and runs over to the towel dispenser at the far side of her kitchen. She pulls the paper towel too hard and it tumbles out of the box and rolls across the floor as she curses and chases it, teetering on some drool worthy peach peep toe heels.
"Here." She huffs, holding the paper towel roll up triumphantly.
Pulling some off, I dab at the stain on my blouse, making no difference at all.
"I think it’s gonna stain." I mumble.
"Uh huh." She looks around the kitchen. "Ah hah. I've got just the thing."
She rushes out of the room, saying no more while I stay perched on my seat with a now brown blouse that’s turning see through. I bite onto my lip wondering if Liv has abandoned me. A few minutes later, she comes striding back into the room with a strappy top hanging over her arm.
"What’s that?" I ask, starting to feel excited because let’s face it, nobody's got better clothes than Liv.
"This will be perfect on you." She holds the very... revealing top up.
I'm tempted to state the obvious and advise Liv that the top is actually in half. As in there is no way it even comes anywhere near my belly button. I look at it doubtfully, imagining my pale midriff on show.
"It’s gonna show my tummy." I whisper.
"Fucking hell Cindy, I’ve seen you in a bikini."
"I know." I whine. "But that was by a pool with multiple other people around wearing bikinis. Plus, I always wore them really for..." I snatch the top from her arm before I dare to finish my sentence.
"Atta girl. Just do it here, nobody’s home."
I nod and start unbuttoning my drenched blouse as Liv takes some paper towels and mops up the mess I’ve made. I'm still looking at the top doubtfully but decide to keep my mouth shut. Maybe Liv has a jacket I could borrow. A nice blazer would be good, a huge parka even better. At least I'll be covered up then.
I stare doubtfully at my revealed pale stomach, thankful that at least it’s flat enough to pull off such clothes. I notice the tags on the top that Liv brought down and silently shake my head. Seriously? She hasn’t even worn it? Pulling them off, the snap of the plastic connecting the small cardboard and the fabric coincides with another sound. The slamming of the front door.
Liv and I shoot our heads up at the same time, looking at each other with panic stricken faces and wide eyes.
"Oh shit." She whispers.
Oh shit? Oh shit, her Dad or Noah are probably gonna see me in my pink lacy bra!
Liv practically throws herself towards me as I start fumbling and try to put the clothing over my head.
"I’m... Stuck." I huff, tangled up.
"Don’t panic, I'm getting you out." Liv hisses, trying to pull my head through the hole at the top.
"I should hide."
"Where? In the fucking fridge? Your hair is caught in the straps."
"Ouch." That hurt! I only wanna get dressed, or partially dressed because this clothing hardly even registers as such. I don’t wanna be snatched bald.
My head pops through the top, my arms in the air, trapped by the straps wrapped around my upper arms.
"Hey Liv!" Noah’s shout sounds through the house and has me waving my arms about, trying to cover my bare chest. Instead, I probably resemble one of those air dancers that wave their inflatable arms about outside car dealerships and Chuck E. Cheese.
"DON’T COME IN HERE NOAH!" Liv almost screams, right into my ear. I wince and swear I can hear the echoes of her voice.
"What? Wh... Oh shit, fuck. I'm sorry."
"What did I say Noah?"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn’t see anything I fucking swear."
If it wasn’t me in this embarrassing position, I'd probably find this hilarious. Noah's probably scrambling around, trying to cover his eyes. I can’t see anything of course since the dark plum red fabric is covering my eyes.
"Hey fucker. Whatcha doing?" That voice sends a shiver down my spine.
"BRADY NO!" Both Liv and Noah shout.
Brady?
"Yo what’s... Holy shit who’s fucking tits are they?" The silence fills the room. "Wait they’re mine! THEYRE MY FUCKING TITS! NOAH WHY ARE MY TITS IN YOUR KITCHEN?!"
There are moments in life where you have to take a moment to yourself, block out the outside world and ask yourself the question, what the hell just happened? This is one of those moments.
"Get the fuck out Dickwad before I knee you in your fucking junk!" Liv yells.
"I'm going, I'm going." He mumbles. "You and me fucker gotta have a conversation." I'm guessing he's talking to Noah, probably pointing too. Like I said, in this moment, no sight is great!
"They’re gone." Liv whispers in my ear.
My body untenses and I let out a breath of relief.
"Argh I'm pretty sure I'll never live this down."
"Oh you will. Everyone’s had some nosy fucker walk in on them at some point. Though, I gotta say you went stiff as a board when Dickwad walked in."
"Did I?" My voice comes out too high to be casual and I'm mentally kicking myself.
"Uh huh. Are you gonna talk to him?"
"Why would I?"
"Oh, I don’t know maybe because you guys played tonsil tennis or it might be because you're still madly in love with him."
"I am not!" I yell, just as my head pops out to see a slight smirk on Liv’s face.
"Sure, you’re not." She rolls her eyes and then looks at me seriously for a few moments. "Look, I can’t say I understand what happened between you two. I mean I get that he's an idiot, everyone knows that but do you know what I’ve learnt from
being with Noah? You’ve got one life in this world and that’s fucking it. I spent so long hiding from it that it almost passed me by and I don’t want you to do the same. You're so damn sweet Cindy and you deserve some happiness. No girl falls off the face of the earth for six months unless they’re holding onto some pretty bad pain, and that’s ok. You gotta let it go sometime though."
"What if-"
"You can’t live for the what ifs. What if I go outside and a house brick falls on my fucking head? What if Noah goes to work tomorrow morning and gets shot?" She shudders.
Something breaks in that moment or maybe it’s slipped back into place. For the first time though I admit to how I’ve been feeling.
"I'm not enough for him." I swallow past the lump in my throat and blink the tears that are building in my eyes away.
"Guys are damn stupid. They’ve barely fucking evolved from apes. I'm on your side Cindy no matter what. No matter about Noah and Brady, I'll always have your back. I know that the guy has been a damn depressing woman since he came back to town. The first few weeks, Noah was convinced he was gonna jump off a bridge or something. I don’t think you were ever not enough for him. I think he’s just a guy and he’s a fucking moron."
My eyes widen at what she’s saying. All this time I was convinced that this was what Brady wanted. I was sure he wanted the bachelor lifestyle. He didn’t stay with me. I just wanted him to stay with me. Liv carries on straightening my clothes while I stand there as still as a statue.
The day that Brady and I broke up is like a recording in my head. The happiness I felt that morning was like nothing I'd felt before. I felt safe and settled, like I was ready for the rest of my life. It’s a long way from the top though. The higher you rise the further the fall. After the fight to end all fights, Brady and I were at a crossroads and I did the first brave thing in my entire life. I walked away.
I did what at the time I thought was the only way my heart, soul and sanity would survive. I got in a cab, tears streaming down my face, hardly able to even breathe because of the sobs ripping through my body. The pain was physical, like my heart was being shredded in two. But I still walked away.
I didn’t walk away for nothing though, I just pulled my head out of the sand if only for a moment and looked at my relationship. A relationship that I'd been putting first for years, a guy I'd been in love with for most of my life and as much I loved it all, I was always last. I was always last to know, last to be considered. Deep down I knew Brady loved me when but I saw people like Noah and Liv and my parents, it felt like a kick to the gut that even though we had the intensity and love that they had, we didn’t have the maturity. Brady didn’t anyway.
Would it be different with Brady and I now though? I don’t know.
I do know that I'm more miserable than I ever thought possible and that if I wasn’t so scared of heights, I'd probably be the one standing on a bridge, threatening to jump off. Even me with my head burying techniques can’t deny that though I went back to LA and left Brady and my heart behind, he will always be my home, he was always my one. Is he worth the pain if it all gets messed up again though?
"Come on." I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn to see Liv’s friendly and understanding face. "I'll show you my shoes for the wedding. They’re gorgeous!"
I nod enthusiastically, thankful for any distraction from the reflective mood I'm in and follow her out of the kitchen. We don’t see the guys on our way through the house but we do hear some talking on the front door step. Thankfully, the door is closed so I don’t have to face them after my embarrassment.
"They’re a little high but the dress is long and I don’t want it trailing on the floor too much." Liv explains as we walk into her bedroom.
I take a seat on the leather framed bed and watch as Liv walks to the closet and pulls out a box that almost makes me drool.
"Are those what I think they are?" I ask breathlessly, standing up and meeting Liv across the room.
I may look crazy but anyone passionate about shoes knows that these are like the damn holy grail. She pops the lid off and my knees almost buckle as a smug smile spreads across Liv’s face.
"These are the Daffodile Strass'. Pam got them me as a wedding present. You like?"
"I love." I groan, running my fingers over the delicate crystals covering the closed toe platforms.
I brush my fingers over the red soles, careful not to leave a fingerprint or a smudge. I wonder how long I'd need to save to get some of these. Probably two lifetimes.
"You like Louboutins then?" Liv asks and I give her an incredulous look. Seriously, who the hell doesn’t love Louboutins? Crazy people that’s who. Crazy people don’t like Louboutins.
"Good cause I got more surprises."
She places the box carefully on the bed and goes back into the closet, crouching down to get another box. I can feel my heartbeat getting faster with the thought that just maybe... No! I won’t be too presumptuous, it'll put me on a downer for days.
Coming back and carrying an identical box to the other one, she flips the lid and pulls aside the wrapping to reveal more shoes. These are equally exquisite but instead of platforms, they are a stiletto with a lace like look but in leather. Crystals run in a pattern covering the shoe and with scalloped edges.
"Wow." I mutter, again, finding my fingers feeling the intricate handiwork of the crystals, placed strategically. The light bounces off, causing sparkles to flash.
"You like them?"
"They’re incredible. Look at the way the light hits them."
I hear Liv say something but pay no attention. I feel like I'm in shoe heaven and don’t want to go back down to earth yet.
"What?" I drag my eyes away up to Liv’s face. Her eyes sparkle with happiness. I'd be happy too if I had two pairs of Louboutins.
"They’re yours." She's barely restraining her laughter as I look to the shoes and then back again.
"M-mine?"
"Yep."
"Really?" My voice gets louder and my eyes widen. I own a pair of Louboutins. An actual pair of Louboutins!
I do the only thing I can, the only thing appropriate for this moment. I burst into tears.
"Woah, ok well hell I didn’t expect that." Liv mutters with a panicked look in her eyes.
"I-I’m sorry, they’re just so beautiful." I sob and put my face in my hands.
"I know they are sweetie." She rubs my back and I try to get my emotions under control.
I let everything out that I’ve been feeling the last few days. The hurt that Brady didn’t get in touch, the confusion as to what our kiss meant, and finally the happiness that Liv, a girl I ignored for six long months has taken me back in to the fold and forgiven me for my shunning and got me the most beautiful, amazing shoes in the world. Christ, I think I may be having a nervous breakdown.
I hear the squeak of the door knob turning but pay it no attention. Whoever it is will just have to wait or accept that I’ve lost my mind.
"I'm not a fucking idiot, I got a plan I told ya." I hear Brady’s voice and contemplate hiding under the bed. I haven’t got the energy to care though. I'm too caught up in my own emotions. Who'd of thought shoes could have this effect?
"Get lost you two!" Liv yells but judging by Brady’s enraged voice answering her, I don’t think they listen.
"What the fuck have you done to her blondie?" I feel a pair of strong arms wrap around me and it causes me to cry harder. Why do all of my embarrassing moments have to be witnessed by somebody? "You okay Cinders?"
"Oh my God can you two ever just not walk the hell in?" Liv shouts.
I pull my hands from my face and run my fingers under my eyes, trying to prevent the running mascara from messing up anymore.
"I-I’m ok." I give a weak smile. "These are happy tears."
"They don’t fucking look like happy tears" Brady grunts.
"You heard her bro, they’re happy." Noah claps him on the back as he stares at me.
"Yeah, it’s the shoes.
Look at them. They’re gorgeous." I smile widely now, looking at the shoes that are actually mine.
"Shoes?" He frowns.
"They’re Louboutins." I squeal. "Actual Louboutins."
"You like them?"
"Like them? I love them."
"How did I not fucking know this?" He mumbles. I ignore him and give Liv a hug that almost knocks her on her butt.
"Thank you so much." I say quietly, giving her a slight squeeze.
"My pleasure."
"Come on, let’s all go downstairs. This is fucking weird, all standing in the bedroom." Noah says, putting his arms around Liv’s shoulders and I unconsciously lean into Brady.
This feels so natural. The four of us, just like old times. I look up into Brady’s face at the exact same moment he looks down at mine. His brown eyes are the same as they were before, his chiseled features haven’t changed, his hair though a little shorter, is the same dirty blonde. This is my Brady; he'll always be my Brady. Now I just need to decide whether I can risk my heart again but even saying that in my own head, I already know the answer.
We all shuffle out of the room smiling, only to come to a stop outside another door.
"Oh, Rocky you're so strong." The sound of Mrs. Preston’s voice sounds through the door and we all look around in with confusion.
Who's Rocky?
"What the fu-" Liv steps towards the door and comes to an immediate halt when a second voice sounds out.
"Well Adrian, I am a boxer." Mr. Preston’s voice results in four horrified gasps.
Before anyone can stop her, Liv throws open the door, shielding her eyes with her hand as we all stand behind her.
"Are you decent?" She asks.
"LIV PRESTON, GET OUT OF HERE!" Her Dad shouts, thankfully covered, even if it is in a pair of black and gold shorts and an inky black wig.
"Oh my!" Mrs. Preston gasps, the red floppy hat on her head tumbling off.
"Fucking hell, Mom!" Noah barks.
"STOP, STOP! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Liv scolds, pointing into the room with her eyes still covered.
"Oh, this is fantastic." Brady smirks.
Forever Together (Forever Love #2) Page 13