by Anni Antoni
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Movement jolted me. Something warm landed on top of me with a soft thunk. Oblivion washed over me.
A heavier thunk woke me for an instant, knocking the wind out of my lungs. Where was I? Not on my soft bedding. Once again oblivion claimed me.
Something heavy fell on top of me, and again, weighing me down. My face pressed into something damp and gritty.
The smell of newly-turned earth filled my nostrils. Lifting my head and blinking, I focused on soft dirt beneath. What was happening?
I pushed myself into a kneeling position, and whatever had fallen on me rolled aside. Pain registered in my chest. Something was wrong.
The smell of blood hit me and I touched my chest, the source of the pain. Warm stickiness covered my hand.
Trying to open my eyes, forcing them open, I shook my head and tried to focus on my surroundings. Cold air hit my face. How did I get outside?
Familiar people I recognized from the fort, lay all around, sleeping. Bronwyn's adopted baby lay sleeping next to me.
No, not sleeping, covered in blood, lifeless. Bronwyn was next to her, covered in blood, still, staring with sightless eyes, dead.
Horrified, I looked around. Those sleeping people were bodies, strewn everywhere. What had happened?
I was trying to make sense of this nightmare. Was it a nightmare? Or was it real?
Pelleson was the next body I recognized, Pelle's oldest son, then Pelle. His whole family was dead. Killed, blood everywhere. Grief and horror clawed through me. I screamed.
This was no nightmare, it was real. I recognized other bodies from the fort. Looking up I noticed the fort way above. The bodies surrounding me had been dumped on the ground behind the hill on which the fort stood.
Rachel, was she here? Frantically I searched through the bodies for her. Surely not Rachel -- she couldn't be dead. This nightmare couldn't include her.
Then I found her, next to her parents, looking like she was sleeping, but no, she was dead. The pain of finding her like this tore at my innermost core.
An agony of grief, ripped a scream from my soul. Sitting down amongst the other bodies from the fort, I hugged her, still warm, to my chest, surrounded by the bodies of my friend Pelle and his family.
I didn't know grief hurt so much. I sobbed and screamed for I don't know how long.
Gradually I became aware of soldiers standing around the open grave, talking to each other in low voices. From what I understood they were discussing what to do with me.
They thought I'd been dead before, my wounds mortal, and they were afraid. Carefully I placed Rachel on the ground and stood...
I pointed at them. “You did this. You killed all these people. Why?” My voice shook. The soldiers huddled together, trembling.
One of them spoke. “We were following orders, ordered to kill all civilians in the fort.”
Rage clawed my insides. “The Prince gave these orders?” I barked the question, walking forward.
They huddled closer together and nodded. “The Prince and the Arbiter,” said one.
As I drew closer, they drew their swords. “Stop,” said one. “Don't come any closer.”
I was in no mood to listen. They'd killed my family and Rachel.
The pain of my grief was unbearable. Rage boiled inside me as I neared the men.
One of them slashed at me with a sword. I ripped it from his hand and broke his neck.
Another one stabbed me through the abdomen with his sword. I pulled it out, and with a backhanded motion, cut his head off. The pain of my injuries was nothing compared to the pain of my grief.
Black rage seized me and I slew those men with no regret. They had killed my family, they had killed Rachel. They didn't deserve life.
Once again, I collapsed on the ground next to Rachel, holding her close, surrounded by the corpses of Pelle and his family, weeping and screaming my pain and grief.
Gradually the cold rage grew within me as my sobbing slowed, then ceased. It grew and possessed me.
The Prince did this, and the Arbiter. Together they had planned it. The sheer two-faced deception of what they had done was unbelievable.
How any human could act in such a two-faced way was beyond my comprehension. Pretending to be friendly, to be doing benevolent deeds, but plotting the death of trusting people in front of them, was the epitome of evil. The black rage within me throbbed and grew, taking on a life of its own.
I flashed to the fort and strode to the Prince’s quarters, the bloody sword in my hand, my fresh wounds still oozing blood.
My own wounds meant nothing, they were already healing. The pain of my grief was far worse.
The boiling black rage grew until it eclipsed everything else. While that burned within me, grief changed to cold hatred. I became pure rage, demanding retribution.
I burst through the Prince’s door. Candles were burning on benches around the throne room and several soldiers stood on duty. They looked at me in shock, then horror registered on their faces.
“Come near me and you die.” I had no reason to kill these men guarding the Prince, but if they got in my way, I would kill them without hesitation. They fled. So much for loyalty.
“Prince Evrat.” I called, walking into his bedroom. “Wake up! I will not kill you in your sleep, but you will die tonight.”
I found the Prince’s bed -- empty. Looking around his candle-lit room, I saw him crouching on the other side of his bed.
“Coward.” I yelled. “You killed defenseless people, pretended to be kind. You pretended to celebrate our good fortune with them, then you had them killed.”
“Not me. It was the Arbiter. The Arbiter came up with the idea. He wanted to save me and the King. We faced famine because of your soldiers. People are running in fear from them, burning their crops and slaughtering their animals. It’s your fault.”
In my rage, I closed my ears and stood over him.
“Stand up.” I commanded.
Slowly he stood, cowering. “Don't kill me,” he pleaded, dropping to his knees.
I had no pity for him knowing how much pleasure he took in tormenting his subjects. With one swipe of the sword I beheaded him. Then I walked outside and burst through the door into the Arbiter’s quarters.
“Arbiter,” I called. “Come out and face me.” There were no candles burning in his quarters. Although it was dark and I couldn't see, I could hear his breathing and turned around. “Ah, there you are.” I said, pointing my sword at the sound of his breathing.
“You! You had my family killed, my Rachel killed. There was no need.” My voice broke.
“But I had no choice. I had to save the Prince and the King. That was my first duty. I did what was necessary,” he pleaded.
“Why not ask us to leave, or give us a choice? Anything but callous murder of innocent people. You sicken me.” I drove my sword through his heart.
People ran in panic out of the Prince’s quarters and down the hill. Women, children and servants. I had no quarrel with them. They could flee.
“Go!” I commanded. “Seek your fortune elsewhere. This place is finished.”
Soldiers came bursting into the grounds from their quarters on the other side of the fort.
“Go!” I said, standing there brandishing a sword. “I have no quarrel with you. Leave now. Anyone who comes near me risks death.” I stood at the ready with my sword poised.
The soldiers hung back, afraid to come near. They'd seen me practicing sword fighting. Not one of them wanted to tackle me. “The Prince is dead. The Arbiter is dead. This fort is no more. Seek your fortunes elsewhere.”
I picked up a burning branch from a still smoldering fire pit and flung it into the Arbiter's quarters. It soon caught alight and quickly spread. I took other burning branches and threw them into other living quarters. Soon the whole fort was ablaze.
Flashing down to the base of the mountain, I picked up Rachel and returned to the burning fort, walked into the burning building t
hat was her parents’ home, and laid her to rest. I did the same for Pelle, Bronwyn and their children and Rachel’s parents.
Desolate, beyond tears, I sank to my knees in the courtyard and bowed my head as the fort burned to the ground around me.
Rachel, her parents, Pelle, Bronwyn and the children had a warrior’s funeral. They deserved nothing less. It was all I could do for them.
Chapter 27.
Seeking Advice from Marron
Morning dawned cold and unforgiving. The fort around me was a smoking ruin. The flames had even spread to the soldier's quarters in the next compound.
I didn’t know if any of the soldiers remained in the fort but I assumed they had all gone. This accursed death camp, was no place for the living.
I stood amidst the ruins and cursed my immortality. Why couldn't I have died with the people I loved?
Guilt crept into the pain of grief as the Prince’s accusations came back, taunting me.
I had failed those I was Guardian to, and I had failed Rachel, my destined mate. My actions had helped lead to their deaths.
Guilt twisted my guts and grief crushed my heart so I could barely breathe.
Marron, I needed to speak to Marron. He would know what I should do. I flashed to the field where I first met him and called his name. Almost immediately he appeared at my side.
“Joshaviah, I sensed the distress in your call. Whatever has happened?” He took a step back and took in my appearance. “Spirits save us, you’re covered in blood and ash and goodness knows what else.”
I broke down and sobbed. “The Prince in charge used us for what he could take. When we were no longer of use to him and food supply was at risk, he had everyone killed.”
Marron’s sharp intake of breath expressed his horror. “He had hundreds of people slaughtered?”
I nodded in agreement. “My human family and my mate were murdered while I slept. I can't forgive myself for allowing this to happen. Marron, I failed them.” I hung my head in shame.
“How did they get past you, to kill them?” Marron asked, frowning.
“I think they drugged us,” I said, trying to piece things together. “They gave us strong wine to drink and then sent us all to bed. When I woke up I was in a mass grave with my family and Rachel and hundreds of other people from the fort. They tried to kill me too; I had wounds. Of course, I survived, but he humans didn't.”
Marron’s hands raked through his hair and he shook his head. “This is unbelievable savagery, but you mustn't blame yourself. It sounds as though you were tricked. Everyone was tricked.” Only the sound of his breathing broke the silence as he tried to comprehend the enormity of the massacre.
“The Prince -- how could he? He must be depraved,” he said, his voice a mere whisper.
“He’s dead now,” I replied, my voice flat and cold.
Marron's face paled as he looked at me. “What, you killed him?”
“Yes,” I said, turning to face him. “He deserved death for what he did. I killed the Arbiter too and soldiers. And I burned the fort. Many people, homeless and without food probably face death too.”
As I said the words, the reality of my actions struck home for the first time. Guilt and shame ripped into me. I was as bad as the Prince and the Arbiter. I groaned and buried my head in my hands.
“Marron, I don't deserve to live. Help me go to the Council and report this. Elimination is what I deserve, what I seek.”
“That is the likely sentence they will pass,” said Marron, frowning.
Walking away, putting a hand to his forehead, he paced up and down. He seemed to reach a decision, returned and spoke from the heart.
“Joshaviah, you were ill prepared for this mission.” He placed a hand on my shoulder. The Council was negligent in sending you out so untrained and you faced enormous problems. The blame for this unfortunate mess rests on the Council member’s shoulders. Let me speak to them on your behalf.”
“No,” I shouted. “Elimination is what I deserve, and it’s what I want. How can I live without my human family and my mate, especially after what I have done in retribution?”
Marron put his other hand on my shoulder and gave me a shake. “Listen to me. This is not your fault. The Council failed you. The pain of having multiple Guardian bonds and the bond with your human mate broken, is severe enough to kill you. It would have clouded your thinking. I'm surprised you lived through it.”
“I am in pain, I can barely breathe,” I said, hanging my head. “But I deserve it for my part in this tragedy. If only I'd been more aware. I could have saved my people from this awful fate. Marron, please help me. How do I summon the Council? How do I go before them and seek elimination? I can't live with this grief and this guilt.” A sob burst from my inner depths.
Marron stood back and let his hands fall to his side. He sighed in resignation.
“I can summon the Council for you. I’m in touch with them, but, please consider. Are you sure it’s what you want?”
“Not only is it what I want. It is what I deserve. I don't deserve to live and I don't deserve a place among humans.” My voice, torn from some inner depth, ripped forth in a savage hiss.
“Then wait here,” he sighed. “I'll summon the Council for you now. It is best they see you straight from the scene of destruction rather than if we cleaned you up.”
With those words, he moved to a nearby tree, closed his eyes for a moment and used what I assumed to be mindspeak.
I took little notice, steeped as I was in pain and misery.
My pain grew, my guilt and grief overwhelmed me once more, and I sank to my knees. That was how the Council members found me, on my knees in the field, sobbing for everything that had gone before.
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Two tall beings dressed in white stood before me, fair-haired, pale-skinned and smelling faintly of spices They were angels of a different caste from my own.
“Stand,” they said in unison. I stood before them, my head hanging in shame, trying to stop tears flowing.
“Why did you summon us?” The being more female in appearance, asked.
“I summoned you,” said Marron. “I know this Guardian. He is relatively new to Earth, and he has had a troubling time.”
The two beings turned their attention to me. “A troubling time? Tell us.” The being more male in appearance spoke.
“I seek elimination for my crimes against humans and for my negligence in caring for my human charges.”
“Please elaborate,” he said.
Taking a deep breath, I focused inwardly. The need to impress them with my guilt burned in my heart, and I began my liturgy of sins.
“I was negligent in my duty. I became Guardian to a man, his wife and their children and I allowed them to be killed. I had a mate, and we planned a life together. I allowed her to be killed too. The blame for this is entirely mine; I failed my duties as Guardian.
“When I found out about their deaths, I killed humans. I killed with rage and revenge in my heart. In my rage, I did not think of consequences. I set fire to human dwellings. People fled from my rage. These innocent humans have no shelter and food and face an uncertain future. Many are likely to die. My sins are grave and I seek elimination.”
The male Council member looked at me with distaste stamped on his features. “These are grave sins, you are right. You will have the Council audience you seek. Four Council members will decide your fate. Come with us and clean yourself. Then you will face judgement.”
I had achieved what I wanted. Elimination would surely follow, giving me the peace I craved.
Chapter 28.
The Council Verdict
The two beings grabbed me, one taking hold of each arm, and together we flashed to Council Headquarters, in a snow-clad mountainous area. Later I learned it was in Nepal.
They led me to a large room with a central bath of hot water. “Disrobe and clean yourself in the bath. A servant will bring you clean clothes to wear to your hearing,” said
the female. I did as they requested.
While soaking away the ash and blood I looked at my chest and abdomen, curious, detached. Faint signs of mortal wounds that would have killed any human, were still visible. At least one wound had gone through my heart the night of the murders.
No wonder they thought I was dead. I would have lost a lot of blood and remained unconscious because of blood loss and the alcohol and possible poison I'd consumed.
Getting out of the bath, I dried myself and put on the light, clean clothes that servants had brought in. Although we were on a high mountain with snow all around, the building was heated and the warm air relaxed my tense muscles.
Another servant came in after I dressed. “Let me brush your hair so you look tidy for your Council audience,” she said in a soothing voice.
Without speaking, I sat on the bench and allowed her to brush my hair out. Although clean and presentable, I felt dirty, stained with guilt. I hung my head in shame and sat still once she left.
“Joshaviah Falcon?” A thick-set, older man walked in to the room. I stood and faced him.
“Your presence is requested by the Council. Are you ready?”
“Yes,” I said, standing up straight. The sooner this was over the better. The anguish, the guilt, pain and grief were building again.
Biting my lips to stop myself crying out in pain, I followed him into a room where four people sat at a table.
Two men and two women, a human and three angels of various castes, faced me across the table, their faces impassive. I faced them, resigned to face elimination, welcoming it.
“You seek an audience with us after having the freedom to live as a human on Earth?” asked the first one.
“Yes,” I said, and bowed my head.
“What is the reason you seek a Council audience?” asked a second member.
I detailed all my crimes against humanity, weary from repeating myself.
The four Council members stared at me and gasped as I spoke. They exchanged horrified glances and whispered among themselves when I had finished.