by Galli, Lynn
“Okay.”
A flash of hope came into her sad eyes. “What does that mean?”
I wanted to keep that hope there, but I wouldn’t lie. “I don’t know.”
She pushed up from her chair, pacing the length of the side porch and back. She looked at me and sighed. “I understand.”
I stood to meet her. I wish I understood. I couldn’t believe how much it hurt to learn these things about her and to learn them from someone else. She hadn’t trusted me enough to tell me. It didn’t feel fair or good. “I need some time to think.”
Her mouth nudged open. A formidable expression came over her face. “Right. Well…okay then.”
That was a brushoff if I’ve ever heard one. I wanted to assure her that I wasn’t trying to blow her off just to get away from her. I honestly needed time to process this. I didn’t like feeling bad for making her feel bad about something she’d caused. I should be the indignant one.
“Yeah. Okay then,” I repeated her brushoff, not bothering to hide the hurt from my eyes as I walked away.
23
Natalie was still working on the house when I drove up to talk to Vivian. The rest of her crew was off, but she would probably go well into the night. I wanted to smile because I knew how much this house meant to Vivian and would mean to Natalie. They’d be done a month early at this pace.
I stopped just inside the door, taking in all the changes. The place looked almost done to me. Natalie and Vivian probably had a million finishing details on their punch list, but it looked like every drawing Vivian had shown me of the final phase of her dream home. If I weren’t so disturbed by what just happened, I’d be happy just standing here.
“Hey, Molly.” Nat came in from the kitchen to greet me.
“Hey. Is Viv around?”
Her brown eyes showed curiosity at my urgent tone. “She was taking care of Mason and Teddy, but she’s probably at the cabin by now.”
“Great, thanks.” I turned to leave.
“Is everything okay?”
I paused to look at her. I liked her a lot, but we weren’t buddies. We could be, but she placed a lot of importance on my friendship with Viv. She didn’t want to force her way into it, which made me like her more. It was always so obnoxious when a friend’s new girlfriend just assumed she’d become my best friend, too.
I studied this woman who let Viv and me stay as close as we’d always been without showing any passive-aggressive resentment. We didn’t have heart-to-hearts, but she knew Falyn well. Maybe she could provide a different point of view.
“Falyn was in prison.”
Her chin dipped once. “She told you.”
“No, a cop told me.”
“It bothers you.” Not a question. Natalie didn’t really question people. She observed and made comments if asked.
I might as well be just as frank. “It does.”
“She’s not that person.”
Exactly what Falyn had said. “You don’t worry?”
I didn’t have time to feel mortified by the implication of my question before Natalie answered, “I don’t. She’s the electrician that taught me everything I know about electrical work and the woman who looked out for me on jobsites. She’s more concerned about my business than her own job. She’d sacrifice circumstances in her life to ease mine. I know she’ll never do what she did again. I know it, but best of all, she knows it.”
That rang true. So why was I having such a hard time? It just hurt to know that this woman I’d been growing to care so much about hadn’t told me something that anyone would consider a crucial part of her. Hurt a crazy amount, actually.
“Did you know her girlfriend at the time?”
Her face flinched in distaste. “I met her a few times. Didn’t like her.”
“Was she the reason?”
“No one can force Falyn to do anything.”
I knew that, too. Why did I feel so sure of things about her and now so unsure of things about her?
“What was she like?” Why was I asking that? Of all the things to ask.
Natalie bit back a smile. “Pretty, short, busty, and flighty.”
Everything I’m not. “Was Falyn in love?”
“They lived together. I don’t know if she was in love with her. She’d hired on with an electrical contractor by then. We didn’t see as much of each other after that.”
“I just…” What? Why couldn’t I figure out how I felt about this other than confused and angry and upset and hurt and, and, and.
“Don’t like that she was in prison, or didn’t tell you about it?” she finished for me. She shrugged and gave a small smile. “You may not like either, but everything she’s gone through makes her the person you like today. That should be worth something.”
It was, but still, it wasn’t enough. My trust in her had faltered. She’d had a major life event, had the opportunity to tell me about it many times, and chose not to share that with me. What if something else major came up?
I thanked Nat and took my leave. Vivian might add a different perspective. At the very least she could help me with these muddled feelings.
“I found out about Falyn’s record today,” I said as soon as Vivian opened the cabin door to me.
The smile she wore slid off her face. She pulled me in for a hug. “How do you feel about it?”
“Why didn’t you tell me when I called about her place being searched?”
She pulled away with a grimace on her face. “Natalie asked me not to tell anyone. But even if she hadn’t, it really was up to Falyn to tell. How would you like it if I told her some things I know about you?”
Nothing was as major as going to prison for five years. Excuse me, five years, one month, and six days. Then two years on parole.
Vivian’s gaze sharpened and her mouth twitched. “You don’t think you have anything as major as her history?”
Dammit. I hated when she could read me so well. That was the thing about her. She wasn’t judgmental, which meant she could present both sides of any issue objectively. It could tick me off when I wanted her firmly on my side.
“Do I?”
“Have you told her how many women you’ve slept with?”
I took a step back, shaking my head. She wasn’t judging. She’d had a couple of tourist flings herself. Not nearly as many as I had. Okay, yeah, maybe my number might be shocking, but I’ve been single for almost forty years. Obviously, my number would be higher than someone who got married at twenty-two or was a romantic like Vivian. Not that any of that equaled a prison record. “That’s not the same thing.”
“No, it’s more relevant.”
“How in…how?” I blew out a long breath. She was just trying to push my buttons. She did it because she thought I was too intense and needed distractions from time to time. “More than a prison sentence?”
“What does her being in prison have to do with your relationship?”
Dammit. She was right again. “Okay, nothing, but what does my sexual history have to do with her?”
A laugh slipped out. “She was one of your sexual relationships, and based on how you’re reacting now, you want her to be your future sexual relationship.” Her lips tipped up in a knowing smile. “Singular, as in the only one you’ll ever have again.”
No way. That wasn’t what was happening here. “Don’t romanticize.”
“I’m not. The only reason this upsets you so much is because you’re really close. If Tessa told you she was in prison years ago, would you really care other than if it caused her harm?”
Tessa in prison. It would bother me, yes. I wouldn’t have wanted her to suffer through that. It probably wouldn’t change how I felt about her unless she’d done something really horrible. What had Falyn done? She’d stolen things from people who could afford to lose those stolen things. Not a decent thing to do, but she hadn’t killed or physically harmed anyone.
“I can guess how you’re thinking here, darlin’. You don’t like that she made the
choices she made to land her in prison, but you think her not telling you is a betrayal of your trust.” She paused, considering me for a long moment. “That’s usually a walk-away for you.”
She hit that right. I didn’t handle betrayal well. It was the disrespect that bothered me more than the betraying action. If a girlfriend cheated on me and told me about it right away, I just might forgive her. Maybe. Slim chance, but maybe. If she went around town soliciting our friends to keep it quiet while she continued, I’d kick her ass out with zero regret or sorrow.
“But you don’t want to walk away. I see it as plain as the hurt on your face.”
I felt tears threaten. I’d never been this teary before, but in the space of two conversations I was becoming a weeper. “I don’t.”
“You’re in love with her.”
I took three steps back this time. I had feelings for her, yes, close friendship, but love? “Now you’re just talking crazy.”
“Let’s see.” She held up a hand and started counting with her fingers. “It’s more than like, more than lust, more than caring, definitely more than friendship. You’re on the cusp; admit that at least.”
“I hate when you’re like this.” I sighed, exasperated by pretty much everything at this point. At least I’d moved away from the gnawing feeling of dread and hurt that attached itself to me as soon as I walked off Falyn’s porch.
“You love when I can express your feelings for you.” She gave me a brilliant smile.
I laughed because there was nothing else to do. “Know-it-all bitch.”
She joined my laughter. “Repressed jackass.”
I grabbed her in a hug to keep her from saying more. She wrapped around me and held on for as long as I wanted.
24
Our eyes met across the street, then Falyn bolted around the corner of the Opera House. Great. Just what I needed to add to my conflicted feelings. Guilt to go with the irritation and disappointment. It was bad enough when she didn’t show up at Cassie’s for Vivian’s birthday barbeque yesterday. I still didn’t know what to do about my feelings or our friendship, but I hated that she had to miss out on the fun with some of her crewmates and other friends. I also didn’t want her avoiding me at all costs.
I crossed the street and walked past the beautiful structure. When I reached the corner, there was no sign of her. She must have sprinted back the way she’d come. Or maybe she’d had her bike with her. Either way I wouldn’t catch up with her on foot. If I wanted to catch up with her.
Why couldn’t it be a week ago? Why did I have to run into Cherise? Everything would be so much better if I never learned the truth. No, that’s not true. Everything would be so much better if Falyn had never had to go through that whole experience. Then again, both she and Natalie were convinced Falyn wouldn’t have been the person I care about without it.
It bothered me so much when I didn’t know how to feel about something. I never spent a lot of time thinking about my feelings. Vivian was right. She could always voice my feelings before I even knew what they were. I should trust her on this. It burned not to be able to call Falyn or see her. The burn flared hotter when I thought about how much I wished she’d told me. That she didn’t feel like she could trust me enough to tell me. I trusted her with everything I had, including an intimacy that I’d never shared with anyone else.
Well, screw that. I hated this feeling.
“Molly!” Kelsey called from behind me just as I’d taken my first determined step.
Oh, for the love of all that is holy. What is it with this town? Can’t I walk two steps without running into someone I know?
I had to turn around. Ignoring Kelsey would make me feel like a jerk. If I made it quick, I could get back to trying to resolve things with Falyn. We had to talk this thing out. Tomorrow Wayne and I were taking a group out on ATVs to a camping spot for four days. If I didn’t talk to Falyn tonight, it would have to wait almost a week.
When I turned and spotted Kelsey’s boyfriend and Jenna with her, I knew I’d be on this street for a while. I sighed, lamenting the small town life I usually loved. “Hey, guys.”
“Hi, Molly,” Jenna greeted enthusiastically.
She could make me feel a little uncomfortable at times. Vivian thought she had a crush on me, which couldn’t be true because she was straight and married. If she were a lesbian and available, she would have been my type. My former type, I should say. I needed to adjust my view on that, obviously.
The same thing would have happened with Jenna as with all the others I thought were my type. She’d be fun and affectionate for the first couple of months, then she’d start to complain about how I had too much whatever because I was too intense or serious or involved or whatever else she thought was just too something. She’d want me to continue with the fawning and attention lavished on her without considering that I might want some of the same treatment. It usually took something like a Valentine’s day to go by before I’d see the relationship for what it was. I’d buy flowers, candy, and jewelry and take her to dinner. She’d just accept it all with nothing more than a thank you. No one had ever given me a Valentine’s gift. Like being butch meant I didn’t need one.
“Hi, Jenna. How’s Jay?” I liked to remind her of her husband before she started getting grabby.
“He couldn’t be bothered to dine with us,” she complained. “You should have come. Kelsey called you.”
“I just got off work.”
“Hang out with us now.”
“I’m beat, but thanks.”
Kelsey eyed our exchange with a smile. She knew better than to try to get me to go out right after work. I always needed a shower and a half hour to shake out the stress of having everyone’s lives in my hands for whatever activity they were unqualified to perform.
“Next time,” Noah put in. He was a nice enough guy. Not good enough for Kelsey in my opinion but nice enough.
“See ya.” I backed away, hoping they’d let me go.
“Mol!” Tessa got out of a parked car up the street.
I shook my head. Damn this small town. “Hey, Tess.”
“Hi, folks,” she said to Kelsey and her gang, coming to a stop before us. “Did you have a good tour today?”
Thoughtful Tessa was back. “They were good, thanks. Buyers or sellers today?”
“Both. I should close a deal tomorrow if I can get Natalie to give a bid on some work that needs to be done.”
“Congrats,” Kelsey offered.
“Thanks. Oh, hey, I was going to call you. Rachel and I will be having an open house at the new office once Vivian moves out. We’d like you to cater.”
Kelsey’s eyes widened. “You’re moving into Vivian’s office?”
“Yeah. She’s moving her office to her cabin when the new house is done. She and her brother wanted to bring in some rental income and asked us to list it. We snapped it up before anyone else could look at it. We’re saving twenty percent a month on office rent.”
“Smart thinking,” Jenna told her. “Are we invited to the open house?”
“Absolutely, and bring all your house buying friends.” Tessa looked back at Kelsey. “Can we count on you to cater?”
“Of course. Just let me know the date.”
“Make those crab cakes again, sweetie,” Noah encouraged.
I could tell I was about to lose a half hour of my evening, maybe more. They’d talk about menus and house sales and dealing with customers at Jenna’s restaurant and the insurance claims that Noah processed. It was pointless conversation but made everyone feel connected. I never minded before, but now that I had a purpose tonight I was bothered by it.
“I know you just got off work, but will you grab a drink with me?” Tessa asked after the eternal conversation about menus and such finally wound down.
I glanced at my watch. It was rude, but I couldn’t help myself. Noting the hour and the fact that Falyn got up earlier than I did, I figured I wouldn’t have time to get over there and have the kind of
discussion we needed to have. Might as well get drinks with a friend. “Love to.”
She looked relieved, and I scolded myself. My friend wanted to spend time with me, and I was worried about whether or not I could cut it short to get over to another friend’s house. I needed to put that on the back burner for now.
We made our way to her favorite bar, passing two acquaintances on the way in and losing another ten minutes catching up. Tessa was bubbly throughout. It was such a change from our last few visits.
I went up to the bar while Tessa snagged a booth. When I joined her, I made an observation. “You look happy, Tess.”
“Thanks, I am. I have news.”
I felt a smile pull at my mouth. My friend was happy. Finally. “What’s up?”
“Kathleen is moving back in.”
My shoulders fell. Not the happy I’d hoped for her. Even if I was no longer interested in pursuing a relationship with her, it didn’t mean I wanted her back with someone who wasn’t good for her. “Really?”
“Yes! We had a long talk and went on a couple of dates. It’s been so great, Mol. Just like when we started.”
I wanted to keep my mouth shut. This was none of my business. When they were together before Kathleen dumped her, I never had a problem with them as a couple. I didn’t even have a problem with Kathleen as a person. I didn’t like her as much as I liked Tessa, but I didn’t have a problem with her. I just couldn’t let four months of constant crying on everyone’s shoulder go without some discussion. “Did she apologize? Did she tell you why she broke it off? Did she say she was sorry she broke your heart?”
“Molly!” Tessa exclaimed, ruffled by my nonsupport.
“Well? She broke up with you for seemingly no reason. You were a great girlfriend, and she just left. Now she’s finally realized how great you are and wants you back. So basically she got herself a sanctioned four month sexcapade, and she still gets to come back to you.”