by Hattie Black
Colin stares into Renee's eyes. He sees pain. He wants to embrace her. He wants to reach out, and console her, but her walls are all the way up, and - at that moment - he doesn't have a plan of how he can scale those walls, and get through to her. He gives in.
"I will leave Renee. I will leave this house, and this town, but you will still be with me." Renee's stomach churns within her. There he goes again. Those are the kind of things he says to get me to give in, but I can't...I can't afford to this time.
"Goodbye Colin...Goodbye!" Renee tells him, and she closes the door. Colin's stomach sinks into his toes. He stands still gazing at the closed door. His mind is reeling. He is shocked that after the night they shared...the intimacy...the openness, that Renee is shutting him out. What he doesn't know, is that the once shy young woman, had given of herself, blindly, to someone in the past who cheated on her, and broke her. Standing at that door, Colin thinks that she's just turning him away because she sees a scoundrel...Yet, he knows that he is a scoundrel who believes he needs her to change him.
Colin walks very slowly back to his rented vehicle. He is confused...he is despondent. Renee is still standing at the door. She is actually using it to prop her up. Her knees are weak, and her heart is heavy. I know that I have made the right decision. I cannot trust him. I cannot trust any man.
She walks slowly toward the stairwell, almost dragging her feet. She climbs the first three steps, then races up the rest. She runs into her room, falls on to the bed, and begins to sob loudly. Renee's mother hears her, and rushes upstairs to comfort her. Pilar sits on the bed beside Renee. Renee drops her face into her mother's lap crying. Pilar strokes her daughter's back. Renee weeps in her mother's arms continuously for thirty minutes. Pilar doesn't say a word. She allows Renee to emotionally purge.
***
Colin speeds out of Oaktown, back to Trojan City. His thoughts are traveling as fast as the car. She doesn't believe me. Was I just her one night stand...No...no, that's not her modus operandi. Why is she being so hard hearted...Oh come on Colin, you're not exactly a good guy. Renee knows what she sees now. She has no idea that a very long time ago, you were decent once. Colin rationalizes. He takes a deep breath, and slows the pace of the vehicle.
Colin drives directly to the BYWINSTON offices. It is close to 6:00 pm but he knows that Melaine will probably still be working. He heads directly for her office. He knocks once then enters.
"Melaine, I need you to do something for me." Colin says as he enters.
"Hi Colin. I'm fine. It's nice to see you too." Melaine teases. Colin sits across from her.
"I don't have time for that. This is important. Are you listening?" Colin says sternly.
"Ok...yes. What is it?"
"It's about Renee. My mom wants her to work with her animal rescue organization again. She asked me to make it happen, but I think that it maybe best for mom to borrow her, or hire her permanently." Colin suggests.
"What? You want me to push Renee off on Aunt Margaret?"
"Yes Melaine. I think that it would be best for her right now. She will not have to come here, and fear running into me." He explains. Melaine pauses to ponder.
"I understand...I get your rationale. Okay. I will reach out to Aunt Margaret to learn to what capacity she needs Renee, and depending on what she says, I will pitch her the idea of hiring her full time." Melaine offers. "Pitching to Renee will be a whole other situation. She knows, that MW is your mother." Melaine reminds Colin.
"I know that you will figure it out." Colin says, and winks at his cousin. The two chuckle for a bit. "Melaine, I saw Renee today." Colin eventually confesses.
"What? Where? What happened?" Mealine inquires, flabbergasted. Colin swallows very hard before he begins.
"I found out where she is, and I went there." He begins. Melaine's eyes are as wide as tea cup saucers. "She is with her parents, about a 90 minute drive south of here...She never wants to see me again. She looks hurt....She looks angry. I couldn't convince her that last Saturday night meant more than a hook-up. She pushed me away, with everything she's got." Colin recounts feeling weighted down by the memories.
"So this is why you want her to move on? You think that the distance will help her some how?" Melaine asks.
"Don't you?" Colin replies quickly.
"It may..it may help. I will see what I can do."
"Thanks Melaine!" Colin stands, and turns to walk out of Melaine's office. She notices that his shoulders are slumped, and his foot steps are heavy. Melaine can see that her cousin is truly feeling something for Renee. She decides to work to do her best to help the situation, in whatever way she can.
CHAPTER 5
One week following her romantic escapade with Colin, and hiding out at her parents' home, Renee accepts and invitation from Melaine to brunch in Oaktown. It is a beautiful Sunday morning, and the adventurous Melaine is eager to brunch at one of the local diners.
Renee walks into the diner to a very warm reception from Melaine.
"It is so good to see you." Melaine says, and throws her arms around Renee. The women had never hugged before, but Melaine felt that under the circumstances, she would throw out her "professional rules". She is also happy that she was able to convince Renee to meet with her. Melaine persuaded Renee that it was important that they discuss her professional career very soon, and offered to do it at whichever meeting place made Renee comfortable. Renee figured that since Colin, who she least wanted to visit her, already knew where she was, it didn't make a difference that Melaine also knew.
"So how are you Renee? Please be honest." Melaine asks openly. Renee sighs. She considers fabricating a response, but decides to be sincere.
"I am...I am doing better." She tells Melaine who smiles at her honesty.
"Renee, you know that I have always been candid with you. I am not disappointed with you, and I don't want you to think that." Melaine encourages her. "You are a remarkable talent, with outstanding gifts, and you simply can not let them go to waste!" Melaine begins to lecture.
"Did you plan to return to BYWINSTON?" Melaine inquires.
"I...honestly, I am still not sure. I want to work with you Melaine. You have trained me, and helped developed my skill, in a few months to beyond where I could have attained to in a year anywhere else. I enjoy working for you...but..." Melaine interjects.
"I know...But Colin..." Melaine pauses. "Renee, I know that he charmed you, and you feel as though you got sucked in. You tried your best to resist, but it happened, and it's okay. However - and I am the last person to defend his behavior - he hasn't been the same. You have affected him somehow." Renee shakes her head. Melaine has crossed the line. It is just too much.
"I don't want to talk about him. I thought you came to discuss my professional career!" Renee snaps at her mentor.
"Ok...ok...Yes, let's discuss your professional career. Please answer me honestly. At this juncture, can you continue working at BYWINSTON?" Melaine asks pointedly. Renee pauses to contemplate once again.
"Um...I don't think so." Renee answers honestly, and hangs her head. Melaine looks at the young woman sympathetically.
"I understand. Well, can you see yourself working at Cherished Friends then? Melaine asks. Renee's eyes grow humungous.
"Cherished Friends? What can I do there? Wait! Is this Colin's idea?"
"Actually, Margaret Winston has asked for you. She has no knowledge of what has transpired between you, and Colin. She just called out of the blue requesting your skill. She believes that you're needed at her organization." Melaine explains.
"What? What does she need me to do?" Renee responds somewhat confused.
"Exactly what you did for the launch event. I have spoken with her. She would like you to work with her PR person to shake things up, and truly establish a public presence for the organization. They are trailing off into enlisting celebrity endorsements, and support, and Mrs. Winston believes that you have the right sort of "stuff" to get that done."
"Um...real
ly? What? Me?" Renee asks dumbfounded.
"Yes, you!" Melaine says, and laughs out loud. Renee is silent She can not believe her ears. Why me? Was Mrs. Winston that impressed with the press event/launch? It was a collaboration...Hmmm...
Melaine can tell that the wheels of Renee's mind are turning. This makes her happy. She sees the passion in Renee coming to life again.
"So will you do it?" Melaine asks.
"Can I think about it?" Renee shoots back.
"Yes, but not for too long." Melaine says, and smiles.
"If I do say yes to Mrs. Winston, will you require two weeks?" Renee asks sweetly.
"Um, No. It's fine. I know where all your bones are buried." Melaine jokes. "Plus you're training is not done. Be sure to answer my calls immediately." Melaine demands. She is determined to maintain her relationship with Renee.
Renee chuckles. "Ok Melaine, Super Mentor." Both Melaine, and Renee laugh. They spend the rest of the morning eating, and chatting, then Renee provides Melaine with a tour of her hometown.
***
Two days later in Trojan City...
"You're going where?" Amanda asks.
"To Cherished Friends..." Renee begins to explain to her friend again, over lunch, not too far away from BYWINSTON.
"I don't believe this! Why are you moving on so quickly? I need you Renee!" Amanda becomes vulnerable. Renee thinks it's cute.
"Awe Amanda! I wouldn't be far away. We can do lunch like this, or meet up on the weekends, perhaps?" Renee tries to console her.
"I guess so, but wouldn't you get bored working on the same project over, and over instead of tackling different ones?" Amanda tries to rationalize with her.
"Hmmm...I didn't see it that way, but I will make it work...I'll find a way to keep things fresh and exciting."
"Well, you do realize that you will be the only cool person there. They're all "stuffies"." Amanda tells Renee who starts laughing openly in the restaurant.
"I know Amanda, I know." Renee says in between laughs.
"Ok then. I guess this is Congratulations, and Goodbye!" Amanda acquiesced. Renee reaches across the table, to hug Amanda who playfully rejects her.
"Feel free to come visit me." Renee tells her.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah..." Amanda mutters. Renee laughs again.
***
First thing on Wednesday morning, Beverly Harmon, Executive Director of Cherished Friends, gives Renee a tour of their facilities. The entire organization is housed on one floor of a fully renovated warehouse building. Renee smiles as she looks around, and sees her designs included as a part of the company's official signage, and even on stationery. Photographs from the launch event have been made into large, framed art work which are decoratively hanging on the walls, throughout the building.
Renee is escorted to an office which she will be sharing with Natalia. Natalia stands to greet Renee.
"Welcome Renee!" Natalia says, and extends her hand to shake Renee's.
"Thank you Natalia. I am happy to be here." The ladies shake hands.
"Well, I will leave you two to it." Beverly says, and walks out of the fairly roomy office. Renee, and Natalia nod at Beverly gracefully, then turn to each other to begin strategizing about their first task.
Days go by, then weeks. Renee has hit her stride. Her love for animals, combined with her burning bevy of ideas have proven to be a winning combination. Sponsorship, and donations to the organization have increased 100%. The organization's image has also been enhanced, made more relatable, and contemporary.
Colin smiles as he listens to his mother excitably talk about how successful her newest foundation has become.
"The best thing I did was to steal that young woman from you Colin." Margaret teases her son, over lunch.
"Yes, well done mother. You are a superb thief." He nudges back. Margaret giggles.
Colin has not spoken to Renee in quite some time. Not since he visited her at her parents' home. He has seen her however, unknown to Renee. He has attended the various fund raising luncheons the Cherished Friends organization has planned. He's sat inconspicuously in the back, and always left after the formal portion. Renee is usually busy at the front during the official part of program, unaware of who is specifically at the back of the room. When she initially returned to her apartment, he would rent a random car, and drive by her address on the weekends, just hoping to catch a glimpse of her. He no longer resorts to that tactic, but he longs to talk to Renee, to learn what she's thinking, and engage in hours of conversation with her. Instead, he relies on 2nd hand stories from his mother, and Melaine.
Still, Colin is careful not to get his mother involved by outrightly inquiring about Renee. He just conveniently spends more time with her, and asks about her various charities, with specific camouflaged questions. Margaret Winston isn't blind, or dumb. She is a mother, and she knows that Colin has a vested interest in Renee. She does not know the extend, or what transpired between them, but she is not oblivious to his recent interest in her involvements, and she does remember that she observed him appearing distracted at the CF launch event.
"So is everything alright at that fancy firm of yours, son?" Margaret eventually asks Colin. "How come you have so much time for your dear mother lately?" Colin clears his throat.
"Um, everything is well. I have a great team, and a tight ship." Colin pulls together pretentiously.
"I see. Well, I hope I haven't disturbed the ship too much by drafting one of your stars." Margaret says, and smiles mischievously. Colin starts twitching, and moving around on his chair.
"Um, we're fine mother." He says avoiding eye contact.
"I see. Well, that is good to hear!" She quips. "What about you? Have you recovered from the loss of your 'star player' Colin?" Margaret asks directly. Colin hangs his head, and takes a deep breath. He truly does not want to discuss Renee with his mother, but she has obviously detected that his invitations to lunch, brunch etc. are laced with an ulterior motive. Colin takes a deep breath while deciding what to say.
"Mom...I do miss my 'star player'." Colin still does not look at his mother in the eye. "She's better off with you...where I can't hurt her." Colin admits. Margaret smiles. She is glad that Colin is confirming her suspicions.
"Well, I think that she's too smart for you anyway." Margaret teases, and chuckles. "She has been a true blessing Colin. If you are serious about her, you can no longer behave the way you have been...I remember the sweet young man who once embraced life like Renee does." Margaret counsels her son. "Don't be proud Colin. I think that an honorable gentleman still resides deep down within you." Margaret encourages her son. "Still, now that I know your true motive for meeting with me more often than usual, please don't stop. I've missed you son. I'm sure your father does too."
Colin finally looks at his mother. She truly knows him. She sees right through him, and she is not ashamed. She just misses him. Colin reaches for his mother's right hand across the table, and kisses it. "Thank you Mom! Your words mean a lot today." Margaret smiles.
"You're welcomed son...Now escort me to my car." She responds.
Colin walks his mother out to her car, in the open air parking lot in front of the eatery. He asks her to recall one particular story regarding him, and a special minor league baseball game. They laugh, and he helps his mother into the backseat of the black luxury car that she is being driven in. Colin kisses his mother on the cheek. "Thanks for still believing in me Mom. Enjoy the rest of your day!" Margaret waves goodbye as her car pulls away.
Colin jumps into the driver's seat of his sports car. Inspired by his mother's words, He speeds off to his home, sits in the kitchen, and pens an elaborate note to Renee.
Dear Renee,
I know that I am the last person that you want to hear from. Still, it is very necessary that I compose this note to you.
I have been an absolute jerk, for many, many years of my life. I allowed one hurtful situation to crush my spirit, and alter my personality.
I hav
e not always been a playboy. I was very much in love once. I believed in a young woman who was charismatic, and full of life, and made my heart sing. However, she was also selfish. She broke my heart. She betrayed me. Since that day, I swore I wouldn't be hurt like that again, and chose to be selfish just like her. Being selfish, and carefree - not being concerned with how one's actions affected others appeared to give her freedom, and I wanted to be free, just like that.
Therefore, I turned into a raging monster, but Renee, I don't want to be that monster anymore.
I want to prove to you that I can be worthy of you.
Please forgive me Renee! Please forgive me for taking advantage of you. Please forgive for not listening to you...truly listening to you.
I want to do better. I want to be better. Will you please help me? Will you please show me how to be a better man?
I miss you terribly. There is not one night that I don't see you in my dreams.
I can change. Will you help me?
Truly yours,
Colin Winston.
Colin places his pen down on to his steel kitchen countertop. He re-reads the note, and takes a deep breath. He then carefully folds it, and hastens to his office, in his expansive, and contemporary designed penthouse apartment. He searches for the right envelope, and seals the note inside it. Colin carefully addresses the envelope to Renee Wainwright, and dashes out of his apartment.
Colin hastily pulls up to his regular flower service shop. He orders two bouquets. One to be delivered to her job right away, with the elaborate note, and another to be delivered later to her home, with a brief note that insists she reads the more elaborate one. Once Colin is satisfied that his instructions are understood, he leaves the rest in the capable hands of his trusted flower service.
Dressed more casually than usual for the office in a navy blue blazer, khaki pants, and a white tee, Colin races off to BYWINSTON. Upon arrival, he immediately locates Nicholas Holland.