Appalled at the sight of herself in the long mirror, she washed, brushed out her hair and re-knotted it softly. A touch of lipstick and she was ready.
They ate in silence that was strangely companionable, and Davina appreciated the quiet, feeling no need to talk. Over coffee Jake talked to her lightly of work and of his boat. Sailing, she learnt, was his hobby, and he had a sailing boat at his father's house. She was content to listen, watching the firelight playing over the room.
'Goodness!' she exclaimed suddenly, catching sight of the time. 'I hadn't realised how late it is. I really must go.'
'Of course you must,' Jake said lightly, 'and we both have to finish packing. But I'm still serious about listening to you, helping if I can. Sometimes just talking about something helps.'
She thought about it for a moment. His interest was not idle curiosity, nor was it personal. He was concerned with her work, her efficiency. Did she owe it to him to tell him? Did she want to tell him, to talk to him? Could she talk about it at all?
'I'm a good listener,' he added.
Davina didn't respond.
'You know don't you that you can trust me. I hope I don't have to tell you that anything said here tonight is strictly confidential and will go no farther.'
She blushed furiously. He must have read her mind. She was concerned about her colleagues, chatting perhaps behind her back. She looked across at him to find his eyes intently on her.
'I… it's late,' she said lamely.
'Yes,' he said firmly, 'it is. But it's also important, Davina. I'm not pushing you to talk to me. But if you want to talk about it, I'm here.'
She started to speak, slowly and haltingly.
'I'm going home this week-end… for my sister's wedding, and it will be the first time I've been home since I left two years ago.'
She glanced across at him, but he was gazing into the fire with no sign of emotion in his face.
'My parents' home is in a small village where all the families know each other. This is very nice in some ways, but it can be difficult in times of crisis. When I left, my family were in such a crisis. The whole village knew about it and… I was the cause.
'My sister is five years older than I am and we've always been very close. She went to university in Edinburgh to study, because she's very bright. I've always been the quiet one of the family, and I'm not ambitious. When she was in her last year at Edinburgh I left school and took a shorthand and typing course. Then I got a job locally at the local dairy depot. When I'd been there about three months I was told I would be transferred to a new marketing manager who was coming down from London.
'That's how I met Philip. He rented a cottage outside the village and soon we were… I… well, we started going out together, and…' She stopped, her mouth suddenly dry, clutched by the fear that always overcame her when she remembered.
'He fell in love with you,' Jake finished for her, remote and impersonal.
'Yes… well, I discovered that later… at first I just knew I… how I felt.'
She breathed in deeply, trying to clear the constriction in her throat.
'He was marvellous, everything I always dreamed a man could be… handsome, sophisticated, experienced, and… I was very happy. My parents weren't pleased, they thought he was too old for me… he was quite a bit older. But we became engaged and then the wedding date was fixed. I felt I was the luckiest girl in the world. My parents were determined to give me a big wedding, no expense spared, and my mother…' she choked a little, 'she ordered everything—flowers, caterers, the hotel reception, bridesmaids, and they dug into their savings quite a bit. Then Philip and I had a sort of… er… disagreement. I was very young and had strong ideas about some things…'
'Darling,' Philip had said casually one Sunday, 'I have to go on a trip north to the Scottish office. How about coming with me?'
'How long will you be away?' she hesitated.
'Oh, only a few days, perhaps a week.'
Davina had considered.
'I'd have to take the time off my holiday leave and it would mean cutting short the honeymoon.'
'Well, just come for a few days, a long week-end. I do want you with me,' he coaxed, and agreed she would go with him.
Arrived at the pleasant, friendly family hotel in Edinburgh, Davina was at first not aware Philip had signed them in as husband and wife. When the porter addressed her as Mrs Andrews, she dismissed it as a natural mistake.
It was when she saw the room with its huge fourposter bed where the porter put both their cases that she began to feel uneasy. Left alone, she tried the second door, hoping to find another bedroom, but it was a bathroom.
When Philip came up she made light of it.
'They've given us a double instead of two singles, darling, by mistake.'
'No mistake, my sweet,' he said gently, taking her in his arms. 'I think it's about time we really got to know each other, don't you? I've waited patiently because you're so young, but you know how much I love you. We're going to get married, and there's no need to wait any longer. In fact, I think it's important we discover each other before any vows are made at the altar, don't you?'
He kissed her lovingly, his lips lingering against her mouth. But her response was not there.
'No, Philip,' she said tremulously. 'I do want to wait until we're married.'
He didn't say anything. Instead he pulled her tightly into his arms and kissed her passionately, taking her lips hard with his, running his hands possessively down her back as he pressed his body into her soft curves. She felt confused and did not resist.
'You know I adore you,' he said hoarsely. 'I won't hurt you. You needn't be afraid. Just don't think about it, and give yourself to me.' He bent to kiss her throat lightly and began to undo her blouse, pushing his mouth lower down to touch her breast.
And then Davina knew she didn't want this. She was not exactly sure why, but she slipped out of his arms and stood facing him.
'No, Philip, this isn't the way I want it—like a dress rehearsal with an option to call off the first night. It's not like that for me. I love you, I want to marry you and… I want you,' she ended shyly.
'Of course, darling,' he coaxed her, 'I feel the same. But I'm a man, and I've been faithful to you almost from the beginning. You must understand I've been very patient. If you love me, you'll give me now what I want and what I need. I thought you understood that when you agreed to come up here with me.'
He paused for a moment, his eyes on the shadow between her breasts where he had unbuttoned her blouse.
'You know how desirable you are and you know how passionately I feel about you. I thought you felt the same.'
She turned away, trying to think clearly. Why did she feel this surge of disappointment? Was she being foolishly romantic, unrealistic and even selfish? She knew most girls she met would not hesitate, would in fact have made love with their fiancé long before this. Why did she have this revulsion at the idea of anticipating their wedding? Before she could reply Philip spoke lightly.
'I tell you what, darling—I'll leave you now for a while. Have a rest, order yourself some tea and then get ready for me to take you out. We'll go somewhere romantic tonight and drink wine and look into each others' eyes. By that time you might feel ready for what we both want. We do both want it?' he insisted.
Davina swallowed nervously and nodded rather unhappily.
'All right, I'll have a rest,' she whispered.
'I'll see you tonight, then,' he said coolly, 'and do stop worrying. If you really don't want it, I won't force you in any way. I'll simply get myself another room.'
At that she spun round into his arms.
'Oh, darling, I knew you'd understand!' she laughed with relief.
Philip stepped back from her, surprise on his face. Then he kissed her briefly and left.
She had come back from Edinburgh two days later, vaguely worried by their time together. Philip had been kind and loving as always, but somehow different. He had seemed
unreachable and refused to talk seriously about anything. He had made one more attempt to get her to change her mind, to persuade her to share his room, but she had been adamant.
'Davina!' it was Jake's voice. 'Are you all right?'
'Oh, I'm sorry.' She blushed fiercely.
'You were away in dreamland.'
'Yes… well, you see, Philip and I went away on a trip together,' she went on carefully, 'and we didn't see eye to eye about… being together, so I came home again.'
That sounded rather lame and she had no idea if Jake understood what she was trying to say. But he didn't speak and didn't look at her. He leaned forward and put another log on the fire, his face impassive.
'Anyway, when we got back, I found that… I discovered that…' Her voice shook.
'Take your time,' Jake said quietly.
She leaned back in the sofa and tried to relax, remembering…
Philip had not come back until the following Friday. She had missed him and wondered again if she had acted unwisely. Perhaps she had been wrong in her attitude; she knew some of her girl friends thought her a prude. But as soon as he walked into the office all her fears were swept away. He was loving as always, if not more so, and they arranged to meet that night.
Coming home from work she had been surprised to see her sister Monica, who had appeared for the weekend, an extravagance she explained by saying she had suddenly felt lonely for the family. She seemed quiet and subdued, but Davina was too wrapped up in her own happiness and her plans for the evening to pay much attention to several lengthy telephone calls her sister made.
She had had a lovely evening with Philip at the local steak house, talking about Christmas with his sister and her family and their January wedding. When they came back to the house she felt happy and at peace.
Monica was in one of her moods, and Davina noticed vaguely that she and Philip seemed to be at loggerheads, arguing and rowing over nothing. Monica seemed bent on picking a fight with him, until at last he was goaded into shouting at her.
'Why don't you go, then, if you can't be civil?'
Davina was amazed. She had never heard Philip shout, and was glad her parents were out for the evening.
'What's the matter with you two tonight?' she asked. 'You're both so bad-tempered, for no reason that I can see.'
'I'll be off,' Monica said curtly.
'Don't be silly,' Philip answered shortly, 'there isn't a train north tonight. How would you get back?' And then, unexpectedly, 'I'll go and relieve you both of my company.'
'Oh, darling,' Davina said contritely, 'I didn't mean anything!'
But he wouldn't be deterred and he went. Davina saw him to the door and they bade each other a loving goodnight.
She was cheerful after he had gone and went to make some coffee. Bringing it into the living room, she saw her sister was still tense, and could get nothing out of her. Then Monica said suddenly, 'He's no good for you, you know.'
'What are you talking about?' Davina asked, her mind still with Philip.
'I'm talking about Philip,' Monica said angrily, 'your fiancé.'
'I don't know why you're so steamed up,' Davina countered. 'You've been strung up since you arrived. It's not like you. Anyway, lay off Philip. He's my fiancé and I love him. It doesn't concern you.' She realised she was speaking quite sharply.
'That's the trouble,' Monica said cryptically.
'I still don't know what this is all about. What have you suddenly against him? You always liked him before, and nothing's changed.'
'Well, if you must know; I went out with him in Edinburgh,' Monica blurted out:
'Oh, did you?' Davina asked. 'After I'd gone?'
'Yes.'
'Oh, well, that was nice of him.'
'Not particularly. He was lonely.'
'Well,' Davina said again, 'I'm sorry if you didn't get on, but that's not my fault.'
'We did get on,' Monica said quietly. 'Too well.'
There was a pause and Davina gave her sister her concentrated attention. The room seemed suddenly deadly quiet. Neither of the girls moved.
'Could you explain that?' Davina said eventually, striving for composure.
'I don't think I have to, do I?' Monica said bitterly. 'You know me, don't you, from the old days? What do you think happened?'
'You found yourselves… attracted to each other…' Davina could feel the rise of hysteria in her throat.
'Yes.'
'I see,' she said, deadly calm. 'Then in future you won't want to meet alone again.'
Monica said nothing.
'What happened?' Davina's voice was expressionless.
'Can't you imagine? Do I really have to spell it out?' Monica's voice quivered.
'Yes, you do,' Davina said harshly, fighting for control.
'I can't,' Monica whispered.
'You kissed… perhaps cuddled.' Davina's voice was ice-cold.
'And some!' Monica spoke defiantly, not looking at her younger sister. 'Oh, what's the use? You're going to find out sooner or later… We made love.'
'Not completely?' Davina begged.
'Yes, completely.'
'I don't believe you,' Davina said raggedly.
'You needn't.' For some reason Monica's voice was bitter. 'But you've got your revenge already,' she stormed. 'He made love to me—yes, and not once, but every night, all night. And what happened? I fell in love with him. Isn't that hilarious? Doesn't it make you scream with laughter? Me! The love 'em and leave 'em kid. And what does he feel for me? Nothing. Nothing, do you hear me, Davina? It's you he loves, you he adores. And he feels nothing but guilt and fear in case you find out. That's all he cares about. You know what he said afterwards? He was tempted because I was so like you.'
The deathly quiet in the room was endless as Monica stopped speaking. Davina's face was stony, her eyes deep pools of shock and horror. It wasn't real and she didn't believe yet. But, knowing her sister, she knew somewhere it was all true. Philip… Her body went rigid and her hands broke the cup she was holding. The pieces scattered everywhere and the sudden noise released some kind of tension in Monica. She began to cry, softly at first, hopelessly and then uncontrollably, the sobs shaking her body, the tears streaming down her face.
At last Davina moved. Mechanically and almost without volition she got up, walked into the hall, picked her coat from the rack and opened the front door.
A sudden crack as a log fell into the hearth brought Davina back to her surroundings to find Jake looking at her rather blankly. She pulled herself together.
'It's difficult,' she said quietly. 'I'll try and make it brief.' She smiled lightly, but he saw the smile did not reach her eyes which held a strangely haunted look. He turned away to stoke the fire which now burned brightly, the flames leaping up the chimney and the brass fender reflecting the light into the room.
She spoke more firmly.
'I discovered that Philip and my sister met in Edinburgh after I left. They… liked each other and… they had a brief affair.'
For the first time Jake asked a question.
'How did you find that out?' His voice was harsh.
'I… my sister told me.' Davina paused, trying to find the right words. 'She fell in love with him, but he apparently did not love her. He still wanted to marry me. That's what Monica told me. I didn't see Philip again. I left the next day and haven't been back since.'
Jake didn't say anything. He waited, still looking intently into the fire, then he leaned forward and took a fresh cheroot and lit it slowly.
'At the time I was most concerned about my parents,' Davina went on. 'I didn't want them to find out what had happened. It was bad enough for them that I was pulling out of the wedding… the love and expense, the work my mother had put into it… it was a bad time.' She stopped for a moment to gain control over her voice. 'I told my parents we'd discovered we didn't suit after all. I thought my father would be pleased, but he wasn't. He didn't believe me. He knew how much I loved Philip, and he thought
had Philip jilted me.'
She stopped to pull her thoughts together.
'Shortly afterwards Philip left the area and came back to London. Monica left university without finishing her degree course and went to live with him. My father never knew about that.'
Davina finished, dry-eyed, but drained of all emotion. The desire to cry had completely left her.
Eventually Jake spoke quietly, his voice flat and without expression. 'So who is your sister going to marry?'
'She's marrying Philip. It seems she's pregnant. My father doesn't know that… about her expecting a baby. He's not very well, and that's why my mother wants me to come to the wedding.' She swallowed. 'I think my mother feels if I'm there my father will finally accept that one of his daughters didn't cause the unhappiness of the other.' She went on slowly, 'I think the reason I've been so unhinged this week…' she smiled faintly at that, 'is because I've been trying to find a way to convince him.'
Jake turned to look at her. 'And have you found a way?' he asked grimly.
'Yes, I think so.' She stopped and laughed, slightly embarrassed. 'So now you know it all.' She looked up at him. 'Thank you for listening. I think it's helped me to talk to someone. I never have, you see… talked about it, I mean.'
'Am I to be told how you propose to convince your father that you're happy without Philip?'
'Er… yes, if you're interested. It will sound a bit odd, but I couldn't think of anything better…' She hesitated. 'I've… er… hired someone from an escort service to come with me and pretend to be my fiancé,' she finished rather quickly and breathlessly, flushing a deep red.
'I see.' Jake did not move. 'Is that why you're wearing a ring on your engagement finger this evening?'
'Oh, dear, I'd forgotten I'd put it on. I didn't remember to take it off before I came out… yes, that's why.' She stopped, knowing she was babbling again.
'Do you think it will?'
'Will…?' She looked at him questioningly.
'Do you think it will convince your father?'
'Oh, yes, I'm sure,' she said defensively.
Wedding in the Family Page 3