“God! Candace! Candace!” she cried through her release.
Candace slowly pulled back from Jameson, leaving faint kisses in the wake of her passionate touches moments before. Jameson’s hand reached out and stroked Candace’s cheek. Candace lifted herself and made her way back to Jameson. She looked down at the woman she loved and smiled.
“I love you,” Jameson said, her eyes still closed.
Candace kissed Jameson’s eyelids and moved to place a sweet kiss on Jameson’s lips. “Thank you,” Candace whispered.
Jameson opened her eyes and looked at Candace, bewildered by her wife’s words. “What are you thanking me for?” she wondered.
Candace smiled through misty eyes. Jameson reached up and caressed Candace’s cheek. “Thank you for letting me love you,” Candace said. Jameson smiled. “Thank you for loving me,” Candace continued. “I couldn’t have made it through all of this without you.”
“Yes, you could have—you would have. But, you don’t have to,” Jameson said. Candace leaned in and kissed Jameson again tenderly. Jameson tucked a strand of hair behind Candace’s ear. She let her lips brush over Candace’s delicately. “Candace,” Jameson’s tears began to fall.
Candace pulled back slightly. Jameson had not shed any tears, at least not in front of Candace. Jameson had tabled her emotions, determined to remain the iron support that everyone had required. Candace found herself looking into Jameson’s eyes in complete awe of the woman who shared her life. “Let it go,” Candace told Jameson.
Those three words gave Jameson the permission she could not give herself. Her tears spilled over. The last week, watching pain roll over the people that she loved the most, holding Spencer and Maddie, observing the brokenness in Marianne, all of it had lodged a feeling of devastation in Jameson’s chest. She had used the constant flow of people in and out of their home, Spencer’s need for attention, and details that had to be attended to as a distraction to keep her emotions in check. She had made love to Candace, but she had moved to end their connection before Candace could reciprocate. Now, she fell into Candace’s arms just as Candace had fallen into hers repeatedly over the last days.
“Let it go,” Candace repeated. She held Jameson close. Jameson thought her tears might never subside. Candace ran her hands through Jameson’s hair to comfort her. “I know,” she said. Candace was certain that the last week had brought back reminders of loss in Jameson’s life. That was part of grief. Losing someone you loved always served to remind you of the losses of the past. Grief never truly ended. It changed. It faded into memory until something served to spark those memories anew.
Jameson clung to Candace. She felt a great deal like a small child who had been frightened by a bad dream. Just seconds ago, Jameson had been in the throes of passion. She had been riding an indescribable wave of pleasure. She wondered how that could have shifted to drown her in an undertow of pain. Almost as if Candace could read her thoughts, Jameson opened her eyes to the sound of Candace’s voice.
“I’m sorry,” Candace said. “Sorry about Rick. Sorry about Craig. So sorry, Jameson.” Jameson shook her head, unable to find words. Candace smiled knowingly. Rick and Jameson had become friends. Jameson was close to all of Candace’s children, albeit in different ways. Candace kissed Jameson’s forehead and pulled Jameson to rest against her.
Jameson, Rick, and Jonah had spent the weekend before Rick had headed back to Austin with Jameson’s cousin Scott. The foursome had made plans to visit the place Jameson and her cousins had traveled to frequently in their youth. It had been at Rick’s suggestion—a way to celebrate Jameson’s cousin Craig’s birthday. Jameson had been reluctant. She and her cousin Scott had only begun to heal their relationship after many years in estrangement. Craig’s death had broken a piece of both of them, and created a rift that even time had difficulty mending. Rick seemed at times to be able to reach Jameson the most when it came to her feelings about Craig’s death. He had lost his mother as a child and understood loss more than many people his age. Candace was grateful that he had been able to convince Jameson to take the trip.
The camping trip was the first excursion of its kind since Jameson had reconnected with her cousin. Camping had been one of the things Jameson and her two cousins, Scott and Craig, had enjoyed together since childhood. Jameson confessed to Candace that she was relieved that Rick and Jonah would be there as a buffer in case she needed it. Candace understood there was another reason that Jameson looked forward to Rick and Jonah’s presence. In many ways, Rick and Jonah had taken on the roles that Scott and Craig had once filled in Jameson’s life.
“Why?” Jameson asked hoarsely.
Candace closed her eyes. “I wish I knew,” Candace confessed. “Maybe it is just so we don’t forget that we are living.”
“That’s stupid,” Jameson chimed through her tears. “It sucks.”
Candace chuckled. “It sure does,” she agreed.
Jameson pulled away so that she could look at Candace. The moonlight was pouring through a small crack in the curtains and gave Candace’s features an ethereal look. “You are so beautiful,” Jameson said.
Candace raised her brow. “It’s the moonlight.”
Jameson shook her head. She leaned in and kissed Candace reverently. “No, it’s you.”
Candace smiled and pulled Jameson back down to her. She allowed silence to envelop them. Gradually, Candace felt Jameson relax fully in her arms. She closed her eyes in contentment. Just as she was about to drift off, she realized that a familiar furry body was missing from their room. “Where is Jinx?” Candace wondered aloud.
Jameson suppressed her laughter. Candace loved the little black cat. Everyone knew it although Candace was still loathe to admit it, insisting she had been forced to tolerate Jinx’s presence. “Betting he is sleeping with Spencer,” Jameson replied. Jameson was sure she heard her wife huff slightly. Jinx had an affinity for the boys in the family. He often gravitated to Jonah. Since Spencer had been staying at the house, Jinx had hardly left the toddler’s side. “I think he’s been slipping Jinx treats,” Jameson explained.
“And, you let him?” Candace asked.
Jameson chuckled. “This from the woman who feeds him half of her chicken wings?”
“I do not!”
“Do so,” Jameson argued.
Candace huffed again and Jameson laughed. “What is so funny?” Candace asked.
Jameson tightened her hold around Candace’s waist. “Nothing. Just remembering why I fell in love with you.”
Candace looked down at the top of Jameson’s head curiously. “Oh? Care to share?” she asked.
“Not really,” Jameson chimed.
“Jameson?” Candace prodded. Jameson laughed harder. She wondered if anyone would believe how easy it was to tease the powerful senator. “Jameson…”
“Must have been the moonlight,” Jameson poked.
“You are a lunatic,” Candace replied.
“That’s why you love me,” Jameson answered smartly. “Well, that and the fact that I can fix almost anything that breaks in this old house,” she said through a yawn.
Candace sucked in a deep breath. She caressed Jameson’s back and pondered Jameson’s words. There was more truth in Jameson’s playful statement than Jameson had intended. Jameson had repaired many things since the first day she had walked into then Senator Candace Fletcher’s home. The least of those had been roofs, stairs, walls, or moldings. Jameson, unbeknownst to her, had healed a fragmented heart and a fragile family. She had brought completion to Candace’s life. Candace brushed her lips over Jameson’s head. “You have no idea how true that is,” she said softly. “No idea,” Candace whispered to her sleeping wife.
***
Jonah walked into the bedroom laughing. He had left to go get some water. Laura looked at him curiously, noting that his hands were empty. “I thought you went to get some water,” she commented. Jonah kept laughing. “What’s so funny?”
Jonah climbed into
the bed and shook his head. “Just thinking that things are starting to get back to normal around here.”
“How so?” Laura asked.
Jonah raised his eyebrow. “Bible Study has been reinstated,” he answered.
Laura laughed. “Good thing Shell went home tonight after the rally.”
Jonah shook his head. “Oh, I’m sure she’ll find out somehow.”
“Jonah,” Laura warned her boyfriend. “Don’t encourage Shell.” Jonah laid down and kept laughing. “Jonah….”
Jonah pulled Laura into his arms. “Go to sleep,” he said.
“This family is a little nuts, you know?”
“Yep,” Jonah agreed. He smiled broadly when Laura’s head fell onto his chest. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“Me neither,” Laura confessed.
Chapter Five
“Spencer! Spence!” Jameson called through the house. She could hear Spencer’s laughter in the distance. He loved this game. At the moment, Jameson found herself wishing two things: that she and Candace had never thought to start this insanity, and that Candace were home to put an end to it. “God, how did she manage three of them?” Jameson muttered.
Jameson heard the front door open and close. “Spencer?” she heard Laura’s voice ask in questioning. “What are you doing under the sofa?”
“Shhh!” Jameson heard Spencer scold Laura. “Jay Jay will hear you!”
“Ohhhh…I get it…Shhhh…You are hiding from Jameson,” Laura said. “No worries.” Laura started through the house. “I wonder where Jameson and Spencer are?” she said loudly. Spencer scurried back under the sofa, his feet dangling out the back. Laura laughed and looked down at the infant in her arms. “Is that would I have to look forward to?” she asked her son. Little Jameson stretched and yawned. “Mm. Great,” she said as she entered the kitchen to greet an evidently frazzled Jameson.
“Thanks for finding Spence,” Jameson said.
“No problem. It wasn’t hard though. His feet were hanging out,” Laura explained. Jameson chuckled and rolled her eyes. “Crazy morning?” Laura guessed.
“Crazy life,” Jameson answered. She placed a cookie sheet in the oven and closed the door.
“Baking cookies?” Laura asked.
“No, chicken nuggets,” Jameson replied.
“Ahh…A Spencer delicacy.”
“Yeah. I think he gets it from his Nana,” Jameson said. “He asked for Chinese food for breakfast. This was the compromise.”
Laura laughed. “That is hereditary?”
“Yep.”
“Shit. I am in so much trouble,” Laura mumbled.
Jameson started laughing just as Spencer’s voice called out again. “Jay Jay! Can’t find me!”
Little Jameson took that opportunity to make his presence known with a loud wail. “Oops, guess someone is awake,” Laura said. “Better go see to mini-you,” she told Jameson.
Jameson peered down at the infant and smiled. “He’s much better looking than me,” she said. Laura chuckled and offered Jameson a small wave as she left the room.
“Jay Jay!” Spencer yelled again.
Jameson closed her eyes, took a deep breath and let it out slowly, and looked upward. “Give me strength,” she implored the ceiling. “Shit. Is that a crack?”
“Jay Jay!”
Jameson rolled her eyes. “Now, where is Spencer?” she called out. “Spencer! Spencer!” she began making her way through the house, pretending to be at a complete loss. “I will get through this. I won’t break them,” she muttered between bursts of Spencer’s laughter and calling his name. “I promise, I won’t break them. Spencer!”
***
“Why is that a good idea?” Candace asked Michelle.
Michelle sighed. She adored her mother, but she learned a bit every day that working for Senator Reid was a challenge. Candace was fair, but demanding. And, Candace, while she listened intently, was equally forthright in her opinions. In the end, Candace called the shots. Michelle had come to learn that her mother had many dimensions. Candace Reid was a force to be reckoned with politically. She understood the landscape of domestic and international politics better than anyone Michelle had ever met. Candace did not only possess a staggering command of political issues, she possessed a knowledge of the role of the press, the constituency, and the party in elections as well as governing.
“I’m waiting,” Candace challenged Michelle. “What makes you think that my agreement to a national television appearance with Jameson is beneficial to a state election?” Dana moved to intervene and Candace held up her hand. “Let Shell answer,” she told Dana. “This is her play. She gets to explain it.”
Michelle took a deep breath. “The press is all over you,” she began.
“Nothing new there,” Candace deadpanned.
“No, that’s true. This is the first election you have any competition in at all. This week is the stretch. You have Lawson Klein demonizing you every chance he gets.”
“Lawson Klein is a clown,” Candace replied. “One that I have no desire to give a place in my circus.”
Michelle sighed again. “Maybe so, but his clowning is gaining some attention. And, not everyone finds it funny.”
“I don’t find it all that amusing either,” Candace commented. “I have no intention of fanning the flames of his idiocy or his bigotry.”
“Which is why I think you need to speak.”
Candace scratched her brow. “About what? What is this interview centering on?” she asked knowingly. “My record? My policies? My experience?” she challenged Michelle. Michelle groaned. “Ah, yes…my family. No. The answer is no.”
“God! You are so stubborn!” Michelle exclaimed in frustration as she hopped to her feet and began to pace.
Candace looked at Dana and raised a brow. “Reel in your protégé,” she suggested.
“She’s your daughter,” Dana pointed out. Shell turned to face the two older women and scowled.
“How would you like me to explain this to you, Michelle?” Candace asked evenly.
“I would like Senator Reid to make this decision, not my mother,” Michelle replied a bit harshly.
Candace nodded. “I see. You think that Senator Reid’s decision differs from Candace Reid’s in some way?”
“I think you are making this decision based on your role as the matriarch and not as candidate for governor. That’s what I think,” Michelle answered honestly.
Candace stood and paced the office. She needed a moment to gather her thoughts. Her initial inclination was to eviscerate Michelle’s assessment. After a moment and a deep breath, Candace began to smile inwardly. Michelle had proven time and again that Candace’s decision to bring her on as a campaign manager had been the right one. Michelle knew Candace in a way that few did. Michelle also had a sixth sense about people and about politics, more so than any of Candace’s children. Michelle’s argument had merit. Candace needed her daughter to understand her reasoning. She also needed her campaign manager to accept that as the candidate, Candace understood the situation and was comfortable with her decision. She turned slowly, sat on the edge of the large metal desk in the makeshift office, and folded her arms across her chest.
“Your mother is Senator Reid,” Candace said firmly. “There is never, has never been, and will never be a time that my role as an elected official trumps my responsibilities as your mother,” Candace said flatly. Michelle opened her mouth to reply. Candace lifted her brow in silent warning and continued. “You make many valid points,” Candace conceded. “Lawson Klein and his groupies certainly can, and almost certainly will energize some people.”
“Then…”
“Listen to me,” Candace stopped Michelle in her tracks. “You need to have a little more faith.”
“I have complete faith in you,” Michelle said, her voice colored with emotion.
Candace smiled. “I know that. I don’t mean in me, Shell. You need to have some faith in the people.”
“People are easily influenced,” Michelle pointed out.
“Yes, they are. But, Shell, you cannot sell your soul to buy people’s support. The moment you do that, you lose your ability to lead honestly. You lose yourself. One thing I have learned in life is that the only thing you can control is yourself. I set my priorities a long time ago. They have dictated every campaign, every policy vote, and every speech I have ever made. It has served me well for thirty years. I have no intention of changing that now.”
“Mom, you don’t have to protect us all of the time. Not even Laura. We all get it. We are all here to support you, you know?”
Candace beamed with pride at her daughter. “Of course, I know. But, Shell, someday you will understand, at least I think someday you will, that I will always try to protect you. Being a senator or a governor means different things for different people. For me, it is being a mother that has always guided me.”
“I don’t understand,” Michelle admitted.
“I know you don’t. Parenting and governing are very much alike,” Candace said. “Sometimes you nurture. Sometimes you discipline. Sometimes you question what the right course is. Do you nurture or do you discipline?” Candace asked her daughter. “When your child is struggling in school, do you nurture and encourage or do you set boundaries and apply punishment?”
“Different,” Michelle chimed.
“No, it isn’t. Politics is life, Shell. It’s about people. People don’t always see things the same way. Lawson Klein is a prime example of that. He lives in a distant galaxy in my opinion. But, there will always be people who will follow the Lawson Kleins of the world to those distant galaxies. So, what do I do? You think that my speaking about our family will nurture my image. I think it is likely to nurture his and in the process cause more stress for my family. It’s a roll of the dice that simply is not worth it. I am not hiding anything, Shell. People can see me for who I am, if they choose to.”
“I hear you, Mom. I do, but I don’t agree.”
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