by Ava Danielle
We sit down at the table front row of the stage, ordering us two beers from a waitress that is walking through calming down drunken fools.
“You ready?” she asks me.
Fuck no I’m not ready. Wondering if we at least get to pick the song we have to sing, I watch one person after the other make complete fools of themselves. Some though, blow my mind with their voices. Why are they working on a construction site or whatever they do, wasting their life away when they have the singing voice of the next best country star? This is not at all intimidating for me. Insert Sarcasm. I might just shit my drawers. Yeah, I just thought that in a country twang.
“Up next, we have Michael Walker.”
What the actual fuck? I’m next? Confused I look over at Theresa for answers, but she just smiles and pushes me out of the seat. Well fuck. Here goes nothing. I might as well own this.
Looking through the list of choices one song pops out and it’s perfect. The melody to Dan + Shay’s “Show you off” starts and I’m ready.
You're like a sugar-sweet kiss in the morning,
Sunshine pouring right into my window.
Cool drink of water in the summer,
Better than the other, hah, side of the pillow.
You're everything that I'm not, and then a cherry on top,
Yeah, girl, I gotta see you tonight,
Yeah, I'm taking you out' cause damn baby I'm proud.
Ey oh ey oh, when a guy like me
Ey oh ey oh, gets a girl like you
Yeah, you better know we're going to take it downtown,
Showin' everybody what I'm crazy about.
Ey oh ey oh, anywhere we go, ey oh ey oh, gotta let m all know.
And imma tattoo your name on my arm,
Baby I just wanna show you off.
After I finish, I thank the audience. I never once got nervous, I owned that stage the best I could. I wanted to prove to her with those words how I felt.
I sit back down next to her and nudge her with my shoulder.
“Holy shit Michael. What was that?”
“What was what?”
“You can sing. I mean, you can fucking sing. I could listen to you for hours. You have soul, babe.”
And that’s when I stop listening to her. This is the first time she’s ever called me anything other than Michael or Mr. Walker. I’m in love with her, there’s no doubt.
“Ladies and Gents, a big warm welcome back to our favorite Theresa Leighton, please.”
Everyone is cheering her on. She’s excited and bouncing up the stairs to the stage. And I’m stunned how gorgeous she looks up there. She’s picking through the songs and I take drink of my beer, never taking my eyes off her.
She surprises me at every turn.
Once she’s picked out her song, she grabs the microphone, and gives me one last wink before entering that four-minute adventure.
I still believe in fairy tales
I still believe in picking flowers
I still believe in getting lost in someone’s eyes
And talking for hours
I still believe in shooting stars
I still believe in midnight drives
And butterflies you get
Right before you kiss for the very first time
Love, how many times can a heart break?
Love, how much weight can a soul take?
Love, I don’t know where you ran off to
But love, love, love, I still believe in you.
I still believe that you’ll come knocking on my door
When I least expect you to
You give me something I can hold
You pull me through, cuz that’s what you do,
That’s what you do love
Yeah, that’s what you do love
The way she looks at me when she says the word ‘love’ makes me wonder. Her song choice makes me wonder. Does she feel as I do? Does she want me just as much? Can we get past the fact she’s my assistant? That she could be more than just a friend, lover, or whatever we are?
“You’re something else.” I tell her as she sits back down at the table. She leans over, places a small kiss on my lips, and takes a gulp of her beer. I look at her shocked. What just happened? That voice of hers is superb. She’s not only gorgeous; she has a voice of an angel. I think I could get used to listening to it forever.
“I have to tell you a secret,” she whispers in my ear. This could get interesting. “Oh really?” But I guess I’m thinking wrong. “No, silly. Not what you’re thinking. This was a competition.”
I look at her funny, “a competition?” she nods at me. “Enlighten me, babe.”
”Well, there’s a third prize winner, you can win a bronze microphone.”
“And second place?”
“Second place is a $1000.”
“Ok. And first?”
“First place is two tickets to the Caribbean.”
Fantastic. I could’ve used that trip, but my singing is nowhere near that kind of quality. Hers though, hers could be worth so much more than a trip to the Caribbean.
“But it’s going to be a few days before the judges have decided.”
“Judges? I didn’t even realize we were being judged.”
“Surprise!” she says waving her hands up in the air. But I look at her with an evil eye.
“We need to work on your surprises.”
“So, what you two doing here?” I look to my left shocked to see Addison set her beer on our table. Brandon tries to stop her, “hey man,” and both Theresa and I get out of our seats.
“You remember Theresa,” I grab a hold of her hand.
“We saw you two singing. You two fucking nailed it,” Addison says.
“Since when do you sing, Addison?” I ask her curiously, the fifteen years we’d been together, she never sang except in the shower.
“I don’t, Michael. We just came out to watch some karaoke and have a few beers. Violet wanted to make some money babysitting and we didn’t mind a night out. Speaking of the girls, they are looking forward to your ‘fun day out with daddy.”
“I’m looking forward to it at as well. Would you guys like to join us?”
Brandon interrupts us, ”we’re actually getting ready to take a walk before we head home. Good Luck!”
“Good Luck?”
Theresa interrupts, “thanks” as if she knows what he means. Either I’ve had too much to drink or everyone else has learned a language that I don’t understand. Oh well.
After Addison and Brandon leave, the two of us finish off our beers and decide to call it a night. It was fun, but I’m ready to get her to bed and do some naughty things to her. I must be smiling when I feel Theresa poke me in the ribs, “yes, blindfolds”
I raise my eyebrow and just agree with her. My little devil angel.
I really don’t want to return this truck tomorrow. It’s so fucking sexy and my girl looks fucking hot in it. I can see us owning and parking one of these bad boys in our driveway.
“I’m going to miss you,” Theresa whispers.
“Who?”
“Cecil.”
What? I’m confused.
“Who is Cecil?”
“Cecil the Truck, silly.”
“Of course. I’ll miss him too.”
She starts laughing really, and I mean, REALLY loud.
“Cecil is a girl, silly ass.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to offend, ummm, the truck.” I continue driving, shaking my head as Theresa situates her head onto my shoulder. Her heavy breathing is turning me on, all the little sounds she makes are so fucking sexy, and she drives me mad. I think tonight is the night I’ll tell her that I’m falling for her. It’s the night I want to open upcompletely to her. She’s turning into my everything. If I hadn’t hired her, we wouldn’t be here right now. She wouldn’t have her head on my shoulder, I wouldn’t have kissed her as many times as I have. We’ve spent every day together, well almost every day, since I’ve
met her.
Theresa is falling asleep, her breathing becomes rugged.
“Wake me up when we’re home,” she stutters.
Back at her apartment, I try to nudge her awake. Slowly moving my arm from around her, she startles.
“Are we home?” she nuzzles.
“Yes, we are. You ready to get out?”
“Only if you blindfold me later.”
“What about sleep?”
“I just had a nap, I’m good,” she says as her hands wander to my crotch. “I can tell,” I say.
Sliding out of the truck and away from her hand, I go around to help her out of the truck. She’s asleep again. Passed out on the bench of the pickup truck. I just look at her for a minute, too fucking cute.
Slowly pulling her out of the seat, she’s mumbling on and on about the blindfold. I’m carrying her into her apartment and into her bedroom. She’s passed out and I don’t even mind. Tonight was so much fun for both of us, a little sleep will do us good. Especially since I’ll need the energy for the day with my girls tomorrow.
Peeling her clothes off and covering her with the bed sheets, I try to undress myself, listening to her mumble a lot of nonsense. “I can’t, I’m sorry. I want to but I can’t.” Assuming it’s a bad dream, I cuddle close to her and hold her tight. We fall asleep together, our naked bodies pressed against each other. The sound of her breathing puts me to sleep.
Sunday morning I left a little note for Theresa, she was sleeping so blissfully, I didn’t want to wake her. I was meeting the girls for the day.
As much fun as we four had together, I was picturing Theresa being part of it. I can imagine her being a part of our big family. Being part of our family reunions barbecues, and all holidays. A man can hope.
Now I sit at my desk on a Monday morning ready for a new week to start. I’m waiting for Theresa. She’s usually not this late, which has me a bit worried. As I get everything ready for the day, if she’s not here in the next few minutes, I will call her and check. A manila envelope, on my desk, with my name on it distracts me from my thoughts.
Curious as to what’s inside, I put all other work aside, sit back in my black leather chair, and start reading the letter.
Dearest Michael,
When you read this, I'll be gone. I'm sorry to do this to you. I'm sorry for leaving with not even as much as a goodbye. I'm sorry for making you think there might be more. I can't!
I'm afraid I'm falling for you. Deeper than you may realize. And that tears me apart. But I can't stay. You'll hurt me, you'll break me like everyone in my past has. You'll be the next in line if I don't leave. It's a pattern. It won't break. And this time, I won't let it break my heart, even though it already is.
You mean so fucking much to me. And that makes it all so much harder.
All the whispers and gossip about me sleeping with the boss, I can't bear it anymore. I knew it would happen. I knew they would think the worst; I can't let that affect your company.
I wish you all the best, Michael. I truly do. You deserve someone that will love you, that isn't broken like I am. That will give you her all. I'm sorry it can't be me, as much as I want it to be.
Love always,
Theresa
What the fuck? I throw the letter on the desk, after I read it three times so far, trying to figure out what it says or could mean.
I can’t wrap my head around it. I’m confused. I don’t understand.
I look out to Theresa’s desk and notice some of her personal belongings missing. Some of my employees are looking down pretending they don’t see me, but I know they do.
“Ten o’clock meeting in the conference room, be there,” I yell out to everyone, “and pass the message along to everyone else.”
I’m pissed. If they are the reason she quit, they are all fired. I don’t care.
I pick up the phone, and call her house, no answer. Fuck. Hoping she’s just not home, I make a mental note to call her again in a few minutes.
Back in my office, I rethink everything. Trying to figure out if I had done something to upset her. Was she mad I didn’t wake her? What does she mean by I’ll hurt her? I would do no such thing. I wish I’d told her how much I was falling in love with her. I wish I’d shown her more. Oh man, what am I going to do?
Pacing my office, I’m frustrated. Pissed. Aggravated.
Irritated. At my meeting, I was letting everyone know how pissed I was. My personal life shouldn’t be any of their concern. “You know what, I’m going home, fuck it.”
Driving like a bat out of hell, I’m trying to wrap my head around where she could be. I realize I know none of her friends; I don’t have a clue where anyone she knows lives.
The last few weeks, it’s only been about us. This is killing me.
At her apartment, her car is nowhere in sight. No one is answering the door. It hit the buzzer over and over; maybe I’ll annoy her if she is home. An older lady comes out of the building and holds the door open for me, I rush by her to get to Theresa’s apartment door. I bang on the door. Over and over. Nothing. Maybe she’s really not here. Ya think, my inner voice argues with me. Before I decide to kick the door in, an older gentleman comes around the corner interrupting me, “Are you looking for Mrs. Leighton?” I snap, “yes, do you know where she is?” Eager for an answer, he says, “She said she was going out of town for a few days, asked me to water her plants every other day,”
“Would you happen to know where to?” but he just shakes his head, “nah buddy, she wouldn’t say. Said something about needing time,”
Fuck Fuck Fuck. A few days?
I thank the old man and leave. Nothing I can do now. Leaving the building I have flashbacks of happier times.
I sit in my car punching the steering wheel, taking a deep breath. There’s nothing else I can do. I don’t know where she went and how long she’ll be gone. I have no way of finding her. But I’m not giving up, I’m never giving up. I love her. And she loves me. I will fight for her, I will fight for her more than I ever did for Addison. She’s mine!
I need her. I need her like a needle needs a vain, I need her to breathe. I need her to go on, more than I could ever tell her in words. If only she knew that.
Days have gone by and I still haven’t heard from Theresa. Not a single word. The girls are on summer vacation now and around a lot more. They are distracting me, it helps. But any questions they have about Theresa, I try to avoid. This is a wound that will never heal, not until she’s back in my life, and back in my arms where she belongs.
Work is slow and I’m debating whether to hire another assistant or not. Theresa did a great job; she knew things even I didn’t, guess you could say at times she was bossing me around. That may have been one of the reasons it worked so well.
A brown envelope on my desk catches my attention. It’s addressed to Theresa, without hesitation, I open it. It might be important.
Thank you for the participation at the Country Bar on June 8th. You have signed up yourself along with Mr. Walker and we are happy to announce Mr. Walker as second place winner in the karaoke competition. You, Mrs. Leighton, have received first place. Hereby we send the $1000 cash prize and the two tickets to the Caribbean. We hope you enjoy and Congratulations!!!
Please join us for the next karaoke night on July 6th. We look forward to you and Congratulations again.
Country Bar
This is a joke, right? Someone is pranking me. I know they are. I’m looking around the room, but there’s no one.
What am I going to do with this? This would be such a great moment if she were here. She just won two tickets for a vacation. I look at the ticket thoroughly, there’s no specific date, but it’s for a week. What I wouldn’t give to be with her at the beach away from all the madness.
Days have gone by. Too many fucking days. And all I can think about is Theresa fucking Leighton. Wondering where she is, if she’s thinking of me, if she’s ok. Will she come back to me? I call her phone every day. No answe
r. I leave message after message. I drive by her building after work, in hopes her car is there. Nothing. Only silence.
July 6th rolls around and I remember the brown envelope. If I go to the bar, I’ll feel like I’m connected to her. I’ll remember our happy times. And most of all, I’ll be distracted. I called Ryan early in the morning to make sure he’ll come with me. I need a guys night out. Plus, I owe him a beer for all my bitching and complaining I’ve done this past month. I’m sure he’s had about enough of my shit. Hell, I’ve had about enough of my shit.
One of the hardest things in life is to let go of something you thought was real. Something you thought you’d have forever. And something you never wanted to lose in the first place.
I may have made the biggest mistake of my life. But it’s too late. He’s moved on. But only because I’m so good at hiding, so good at pretending I don’t exist anymore, only because I know it’s better for him. He will soon forget about me and anything we’ve ever had.
Preparing myself to go to the country bar, I take one last look in the mirror. Not like she’s going to be there, but I’m still going to hope. If nothing else, I’d be enjoying a night out with my friends. I’m meeting Addison, Brandon, Kristina, and Ryan at the bar. I don’t know if they are doing this to hang out or if they are planning on cheering me up if she’s not going to be there. Whatever the reason, I will enjoy myself tonight.
In the parking lot I wait for everyone to show up. I’m early and thoughts are racing through my mind. If she’s here, what will she say? Will we talk? Will she listen to me?
“Hey man, you gonna get outta the car anytime soon?” I hear Ryan ask.
“Oh shit, didn’t realize you guys were already here.”
I get out of the car, and Addison walks up, “How you holding up?” I shrug my shoulders “maybe she just needs time,” she says and gives me a hug. “Maybe. Maybe it’s too late,” I finally say when Kristina walks over, “come on Asshat, I need a beer.”