by Ava Danielle
She giggles at me. “I don’t want anyone else, Babe. Just you.” She leans in and kisses me. “Now, let’s go do our spa day, and how about the winner gets to decide what to do for an entire day, whatever they choose. Sound fair?”
“Sexually?”
“Anything babe, anything,” and with that she kisses me again and we get ready for this oh so dreaded, wait she’s looking forward to it, spa morning. I’m ready to just get it over with and move on to it just being us. But a vacation isn’t a vacation if you don’t include something indulging.
That was a massage that I’ll never forget. While Theresa had the pleasure of being rubbed down by some sexy native, I mean buff chest, a six pack that was almost a seven pack, and he smelled like fucking roses, how the hell he did that, no clue, but anyways, he was making Theresa moan. She thinks I didn’t hear, oh but I did. She was thoroughly enjoying herself. I was the one being rubbed down by a two hundred pound woman that had a death grip. I mean, I’m a man, I can handle some shit, but this was even too much for me. I cringed and held in so many cries, it’s not even funny.
In a way I was jealous. She had the luck of this good-looking man with hands that looked like he could be god, and I had, well, her.
I know Theresa wouldn’t cheat on me, but the thought has crossed my mind. What if she becomes tired of me like Addison did? What if she is just pretending with me? Or I’m someone just for a little while of fun? I know it’s ridiculous to think this now, especially after what we went through and how long it took to get back together. But those thoughts still cross my mind from time to time. I try to stop them, but I can’t control it. I truly love this woman, I can’t even think about what it was like without her. She’s part of me. She’ll always be part of me. And I love that.
We are sitting in on a boat taking a tour of the island. Cuddled up in each other’s arms, the sun is setting behind us, and we are enjoying each other’s company. The water is blue. The sky is blue and grey. And there’s one palm tree after the other. It’s magical looking, honestly.
“It’s like a picture on a poster, isn’t it?” she says with her head leaned over the railing looking into the ocean.
“What are you looking for?”
“Nothing. I’m just trying to spot a shark,” she says amazed.
“I prefer not to see a shark,” I let her know.
“Why? They are beautiful.”
Of course she would think that, until the damn thing jumps out of the water and attacks us. I know, I’m overly paranoid, guess it’s the dad in me.
“You worry too much baby,” she says as she kisses my cheek.
Maybe I do. But when it comes to the girls in my life, that includes her now, there’s no stopping me. I worry and I’ll always protect.
And just as I’m thinking about protection, the boat rattles and continues to sway back and forth in a motion that isn’t expected. The captain alerts us to stay seated; he’s trying to assess the situation, only panic does erupt to a certain extent.
“Damn you, now the sharks come out to play,” Theresa says laughing.
“Of course, it was all me. I alerted them and gave a shark calling.” Right after I finish the sentence, the boat does a weird motion and throws the passengers from the left to the right, and right towards us. Holy shit! People are actually flying. The boat is rocking up and down and it’s starting to become impossible for us to be seated without holding on for dear life.
“Oh shit, I gotta throw up,” Theresa calls out as she begins to hurl over the railing.
Holding her hips from behind, to make sure she doesn’t go over, I scream at her. I have a death grip on her. She situates herself and sits back down.
“Better?” I ask her, curious as to what’s going on.
“I think so.”
The boat starts to calm down a bit, seems we’ve hit something though; water is starting to appear on the floor of the boat. Worry hits every passenger on board.
“Passengers, I’m sorry to have to tell you we’ll need to get the lifeboats released and paddle back to shore. There were some complications, we will make sure you get back to resort in no time,” a broken English comes across the intercom.
Great. Just fucking great. This was supposed to be a fun way to end our day of pampering. This definitely tenses us right back up.
There are strange noises coming from the bottom of the boat, we’re being swept away into corners, trying to hold on. Lifejackets are being tossed at us, there’s about fifty of us on this boat, different people all with the same thought of a relaxing evening. We were strangers before and now we’re trying to get past this situation that we’ve found ourselves in. The boat starts to contain so much water it’s not but a few more minutes and it’ll have sunk.
Theresa grabs onto my hand, fear in her eyes. She’s extremely worried and it’s me that needs to protect her and remind her things will be ok.
“Hold on to me, baby.” I tell her as I grip her harder.
“I love you, Michael. I’ll always love you,” she starts to panic.
“I know, it’s ok. I love you too. Now hold on to me so we can make our way to the boat.”
She starts to lose my grip and slips away.
“Michael!” she’s screaming as she slides down the boat that is starting to descend.
FUCK! The boat is sinking, I’m at the top with a handful of people, trying to make it to the bottom, but it’s incredibly hard.
“I’m. Your. Baby. I love. Michael. Babe.” I hear her faint screams.
“Get in the boat, I’ll be there soon.” I call after her.
I’m starting to release the railing to slide down to join her by getting off this boat. I’m fighting my whole might to be with her. I will not lose her. I will not give up. I will be right there with her.
“I love you too,” I keep saying over and over. “I’ll be with you,” trying to reassure myself. No one can hear me, at least not that I can tell. I don’t care if they can though, I want to be with Theresa and I will be.
After I finally make it to the other end of the boat to get off and onto the lifeboat, I can finally take a breath again, the breath I held to be with her.
Everyone was rescued, and it wasn’t long after when the boat sank. Disappeared. To think we could’ve been on there still. We could’ve drowned, that thought scares me.
Rowing back to shore, I’m in a complete different lifeboat than Theresa since there were three for the amount of people that were on deck. I can’t wait to get back to land to make sure she’s okay.
Once we finally make it back to shore, I see a heard of people surrounding each other. There’s someone lying on the ground with someone hurdled over them. I’m looking everywhere to find Theresa. There’s no sight of her. She’s nowhere to be seen. I dash through the water to get to the shore, still keeping an eye out for her. Our boat was last to get to shore, so she has to be around here somewhere. I keep searching and finally worrying that whoever they are surrounding isn’t Theresa. I scurry over and see my beautiful girl lying on the sand with some stranger over her giving her CPR.
“Theresa! Wake up darling, wake up baby!” I continue to scream. “Theresa! This is not over! We are not over! Come back to me!” I continue to scream as the man continues to give her CPR, pressing his mouth against her, pressing her chest in and out. Don’t hurt her is all I can think.
She’s lying on the sand in the Caribbean, lifeless. She looks like she’s withering away with no fight in her left.
“What happened?” I’m screaming at onlookers. Someone finally fesses up and said she had fainted from all the stress. She was getting out of the lifeboat and passed out. She’s been lying on the ground ever since.
The love of my life is lifeless on the sandy beach of the Caribbean. Gone.
What did I do to deserve this? Who did I treat so badly that it’s all haunting me now? I keep losing everything that means the most to me. I’ve almost lost my daughter to my own stupidity, I lost my wife, I�
�ve lost Theresa before and now, now there’s no telling what’s going to happen. She can be taken away from me just as easily. I walk the beach back and forth, letting the man give her the help she needs. I can’t help her. I’m in shock. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I can handle losing her, I don’t know if I wouldn’t rather be whatever place she’s going right now, I want to be beside her, every footprint to follow hers, every core of my being, right behind and beside her. Never letting her go.
“Sir, she’s coughing,” I hear someone say and pat my shoulder. I hear it. I don’t know how to react. I don’t know what I can do. I can’t see her like this; it’s breaking me apart. Her in that stage, I don’t like it, I don’t ever want to see her like that again.
“Theresa, I’m here,” I say as I hold her hand. Cradling her in my arms, she’s starting to come back to us.
“What happenedMichael?” she asks looking around at all the strangers that surround us.
“It’s going to be ok, I promise,” I say as I hold her hard into my chest.
“The baby,” she whispers.
“What?” I ask looking down at the top of her blonde hair.
“The baby? Is it okay?”
“What baby honey?” I ask her confused.
“Our baby,” she whispers as she holds her stomach,
“Michael, we’re having a baby. I didn’t know how to tell you.”
I stare at her. It feels like forever and I hear cheers and applause around us. Everyone is so overjoyed and I’m here pal paled, unsure of what to say next. Did she just tell me she’s pregnant with my baby? I’m going to be a dad again? She’s going to be a mom? Theresa Leighton, my assistant, the woman I should’ve steered from is having MY baby?
“Are you going to say anything? Oh no, you’re mad aren’t you,” she says as she tries to wiggle out of my hold.
“Not so fast young lady,” I say as I grip her tighter.
“You’re having my baby?’
“Yes,” she nods
“We’re’ having a baby together?”
“Yes, Michael.” She nods again.
And I scream.
“Halle-fucking-lulljah, I’m going to be have a baby with the sexist woman on earth,”
Cheers erupt and everyone starts to scatter leaving us alone. Overlooking the ocean, the beautiful sun disappearing behind the waves, I hold Theresa in my arms.
“We should get you checked out,” I say to her as I hold on to her, never wanting to let her go.
“I’m fine Michael, I just fainted from all the stress and not having enough fluids inside of me. I’ll be ok.”
“There’s no arguing it. We are going to the hospital and getting checked out. Understood?” I demand.
“Yes! Yes, Sir,” she smiles.
“You need to take better care of yourself, baby. Especially now, and I’ll make sure it happens.
“I don’t doubt you will.”
We decided to leave St. Lucia a few days early. After the boat incident and Theresa being pregnant we figured it might not be a good idea to stay. She needs rest and quite frankly, I’m ready to be in my own four walls, even if it’s just in Connecticut and not at the beautiful ocean. We can always come back. Just next time, we’ll have a bundle of joy joining us. I still can’t believe she’s pregnant. That would explain the random nausea and the moodiness at times. I still love her, no doubt, and maybe a little bit more now.
“I’m so ready to be home,” Theresa says staring out the window of the plane.
“Me too,” I grab her hand and hold it to my lips placing a small kiss on the palm of her hand.
We need to discuss where to go from here. I want to be around her for this full pregnancy. From the morning sickness to the birth of our child.
“We will need to figure out what to do now.”
“What do you mean, Michael?”
“I want to be there for you and the baby,”
“You are, babe,” she places a small kiss on my cheek.
“No, I want to be there from now until the end. How long have you known you’re pregnant?”
There’s a long pause. She’s contemplating telling me.
“Theresa?”
“I found out while we weren’t together,” she looks down in shame.
“You’ve known this entire time?” I’m shocked.
“Why did you never tell me?”
“I didn’t know how, Michael, I didn’t know how you’d feel about it, I didn’t want you thinking the baby is the reason I’m giving us a chance. It’s not, the reason is, I love you, the reason is, I missed you and feel complete around you, and I wanted you to see that first, that I love you, not that the baby is pushing us together. The baby did make me see it clearer, he/she made me realize what I have with you and what I want with you, but I didn’t want you to see it that way.”
I’m not sure what to say to any of this. In a way I understand her, I know where she’s coming from, but I never would’ve thought that. I would’ve been ecstatic no matter what. Under the circumstances, I get it.
“How far along are you?”
“Three months,” she whispers.
I’m counting back, trying to do the math.
“That means you got pregnant the first time we had sex,” I say.
She looks embarrassed. I on the other hand am pretty excited.
“I promise you, I was on birth control, I don’t know what happened.”
“I believe you baby,” and pull her in for a hug, “we’ve got this.”
“Maybe you do, I am scared to death. I don’t know how to handle kids.”
I laugh at that statement remembering the morning in my kitchen with my little Emma. Well, she’s not so little, but my girls are at the age now where they are testing you as a parent. You would think the baby years are your struggles, the endless nights of crying, the midnight feedings; they are a piece of cake compared to teenage years of back talking and moodiness.
“Babe, really? You mastered the kitchen with Emma. You can do that, you can do anything.”
“Emma is a delight,” she states.
“And so are you, you’ll be a great mom, I promise!” I kiss her lips.
A few days have passed. We’ve been going back and forth between her place, and mine. It’s a bit chaotic. We’ve gone back to work, Theresa is my assistant again and everything is like it was before, with the exception; we’re a couple in love expecting a child together. We sneak in kisses at work just to prove a point to my employees, that she isn’t going anywhere and the majority of them are being supportive and accepting, if there are some that aren’t, they are good at hiding it.
“After my meeting, we’ll get ready to go to the doctor,” I tell Theresa as I fumble through some paperwork.
Theresa has an ultrasound scheduled for today and I couldn’t be more excited about seeing our little peanut on the screen.
“You sure you want to go?”
“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that. I’m going in for my meeting,” I say as I kiss her lips and leave her standing in my office.
“I love you too, butthead,” she murmurs after me, I can’t help but chuckle.
In the waiting room of the doctor’s office, there are so many pregnant ladies, one belly bigger than the other. I notice Theresa looking around, she has that worried look she always gets when’s she thinks way too far ahead.
“You’ll be beautiful,” I whisper into her ear.
“What?” she jumps at my whisper.
“I said you’ll be beautiful. Your belly will be beautiful, and you’ll be one sexy to be mom that I won’t keep my hands off,”
“Ughhhhh, you turn everything into sex,” she muzzles.
I do. Because imagining her with a belly, our baby growing inside of her, and fucking her pussy holding her hand tight, that turns me on. Call me a pervert, but a pregnant woman turns me on more than some skinny hoe with leather boots.
“Oh you like it,” I say as the reception
ist calls our name, “Miss Leighton, room number five, please,” and we make our way to the room. I look at all the baby pictures that line the hallway to get to room five. Happy couples. Smiling babies, healthy babies, babies that appear to have illnesses, every race, every nationality, it’s all right here on a wall.
Theresa clasps my hand, I think she needs reassurance, and I plan on giving it to her. Once we get to the door, the nurse opens and asks me to wait for a moment, to give Theresa a chance to get properly dressed for the ultrasound. Confused I look down, this has never happened with Addison. Not with any of the three pregnancies. Theresa gives me that look of approval and I agree and give them the chance to do what they have to.
Unsure of what exactly is going on and why Michael can’t be in here while I change has me worried. I understand we’re not married, but that shouldn’t be a deciding factor. The doctor knows my situation; I’ve explained it to her. I’ve also made it clear that we’ll be together and we’ll make this work. Why she made him stay outside, I’m not entirely sure.
After I finish putting on the gown and place myself into the seat, Dr. Sue makes her way around the chair and greets me, “It’s nice to see you again, Theresa. The reason I had your boyfriend?” I nod, “stay outside is simple. I scheduled this ultrasound because I need to show you something we noticed last time and have you prepare for it yourself. You’ve explained your relationship to me over the past few weeks and I think it’s best if this is something you see first and can wrap your head around. I’m hoping the decision I’m making won’t cause you harm or get upset, but maybe you’ll thank me.”
Total confusion. I’m scared. I don’t know what I’m going to see on that monitor that will affect the way I feel towards Michael or our relationship. Why he couldn’t be here with me while I see this. I need his hand to hold. I’m going to need him to be strong if I can’t be. I need him to hold me tight when things get bad. He’s my rock. The one person I can always count on no matter what hits us. And this is hitting us hard. I feel there are so many obstacles we have to overcome to get to the end. It scares me so much.