by Gayle Keo
Noah talked to his father happily during dinner, and Denise laughed like a simpering fool every time Paul said something even slightly amusing, and Eileen and Tara exchanged glances, trying hard not to laugh at her. Dinner went on smoothly and then Dorothy served drinks as the family wandered into the larger sitting room, where a grand piano sat in the corner. Paul asked Noah to play, and reluctantly, he went over to it and started to play, announcing, “I haven’t done this in a while, so forgive me if I’m terrible.”
He then proceeded to play the most beautiful melody Tara had ever heard. Underneath the grand chandelier, with her feet resting on the plush carpeting and listening to Noah play, she thought she must be in heaven. She glanced over at Denise, who was scrolling through her phone looking bored and Tara was filled with irrational anger. Tara wanted to shake Denise- did she even realize what she had? Did she realize that Tara wanted this to be her life? She wanted to sit in the evenings and listen to Noah play, to sleep with him at night, to touch him and for him to touch her and kiss her- but it was Denise who got all that, and she didn’t even value it. Tara sighed sadly and excused herself, thanking Paul for a wonderful time before leaving the sitting room, climbing back up the stairs and shutting herself up in her room.
*****
A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door, and Tara ignored it, not wanting to her face her mother right then. She lay in bed until she heard a soft voice call out, “Tara, are you okay?” She recognized the voice as Noah’s and sat up suddenly, quickly checking her reflection before she opened the door to find him standing there with a worried look across his beautiful face. “Mind if I-?” he gestured into her room and Tara moved aside as she said, “Of course.”
She closed the door as he sat down on her bed and looked up at her. “What happened? You seemed upset after dinner. It was my playing, wasn’t it?” Tara laughed and shook her head as she said, “You play beautifully, I just- I don’t know what happened really.” Tara stepped closer and Noah held out his hands. Hesitantly, Tara placed her hands in his, and he pulled her closer as he said, “You look gorgeous.” Tara blushed and then suddenly, Noah stood up so that their faces were inches away from each other. Tara gazed into Noah’s eyes, not sure what was happening, and then, he pushed his mouth against hers and she parted her lips.
Noah kissed her hard, tangling his fingers through her hair and Tara felt as though she might swoon. She threw her arms around his neck and Noah broke away as he said, “I’ve imagined kissing you since I first saw you at lunch the other day.” He slid his thumbs under the shoulder straps of her dress and pulled them off so that the dress slid to the floor and Tara stood there in her underwear. “You’re so fucking beautiful,” he said with his lips pressed her against her neck. Tara stretched her neck as he kissed the length of it and then she started to peel off his jacket and unbutton his shirt. He fumbled clumsily with the buttons as he kissed her harder, pushing his tongue into her mouth.
Once his shirt was off, he unzipped his pants and pulled them off. Tara lay back on the bed with her feet on the floor, and Noah went down on his knees, pulling her legs apart. He slowly pulled her panties off and tossed them away before he kissed her stomach and then made her way down to her abdomen and then between her legs.
Tara moaned softly as he felt his tongue explore her depths and she stretched her arms over head as he resurfaced and kissed every inch of her that he could reach. He pulled the cups of her bra down, exposing her large breasts and he whistled softly as she lay completely naked before him. “Goddamn,” he said, and then filled his hands and mouth with her breasts as she wrapped her legs around him, feeling him hard between her thighs.
She moved against him and he bit her softly before he reached down and pulled off his boxers. “You want me to?” he gasped between kisses and she grabbed his butt, pulling him into her as she nodded enthusiastically. She spread her legs apart for him as he entered her, and she almost screamed until he clamped a hand down over her mouth, “Someone will hear us,” he whispered urgently and Tara nodded, promising to be quieter.
He moved in her slowly at first and then faster and faster, picking up speed as Tara went further and further into a state of pure bliss. She threw her arms around his neck and lifted herself up to bite his lip. Suddenly, she felt something deep inside her and lay back as she tried very hard not to scream with pleasure.
Tara came first and then Noah did too, collapsing off her and rolling over on his back next to her as they both tried to catch their breath. “That was amazing,” Tara gasped, as Noah propped himself up on one elbow and said, “You’re amazing.”
A high tinkling laugh floated in through the window, and Tara quickly went over to the window and peeked out to see Paul, Eileen, and Denise walking around the pool deck with drinks in their hands. She turned back to Noah and caught him checking out her bare backside.
She covered herself and blushed as she asked, “What did you tell them when you came up here?”
Noah gently pulled the sheets so they fell off Tara and then he kissed her thigh as he said, “I told them I had to attend to a phone call.”
Tara sighed and sat on the bed as she said, “What happens now, Noah?”
Noah shook his head as he sat up too and said, “All I know is that you’re incredible and I want to be around you all the time, I want you.”
Tara looked at him in the pale lamplight and sighed again, “We can’t tell anyone- our parents are- I mean you’re about to become my brother.” Noah moved closer, kissing her neck and then lightly running his tongue over her breasts as he said, “Stepbrother.”
The two of them would sneak out to the pool when everybody else had fallen asleep, and then underwater, Noah’s hands would roam across Tara’s body, his fingers sliding into her swimsuit, his mouth exploring her curves. Sometimes, they would sneak back up to Tara’s room and speak with their hands and their bodies, making sure they were quiet enough so nobody heard them.
Each morning, the two of them would act as though nothing had happened, and Noah started to avoid Denise more and more, choosing to spend his time “making phone calls”. Tara wasn’t sure how long this would go on- he hadn’t left Denise yet and she knew that she shouldn’t expect anything since her mom’s wedding to Noah’s dad was less than two months away. They wouldn’t talk about these things because it would only ruin their stolen moments with each other. They both knew it was wrong- but it felt so good.
*****
Noah was slowly running his hands up her waist and Tara sunk lower and lower into the water as she moaned softly, when suddenly she stopped and stared at something in the distance.
Noah turned and stared too, but he saw nothing. “What’s going on?” He asked her, and she shook her head as she said, “I don’t know- I just got this weird feeling like someone was watching.”
Noah turned around again and looked at the window to his bedroom, but the curtains were still drawn and there was nobody in sight.
“Where is Paul’s room?” Tara asked nervously but Noah shook his head and said, “It overlooks the greenhouse, don’t worry. Look it’s nothing, come on,” he playfully ran his fingers along her inner thigh but she moved away and shook her head. “No, Noah, something’s wrong.”
Noah got out of the pool and walked around the deck, looking for anything that seemed out of place and then returned as he whispered, “Nobody’s there. And besides, we’re just swimming, right?” Tara nodded but she still felt uneasy and said, “Look, I think we should go back inside, and um, go to our own separate rooms. I don’t know Noah, something just feels really weird and I’ve gotta go with my gut, you know?”
Noah looked extremely disappointed but he nodded and said “Okay, let’s go inside then.” Tara went in first, tiptoeing straight up the stairs and into her room, locking the door behind her. It was chilly in there and she felt goose-bumps all over her skin. She shut her window and then quickly showered and wore something warm before climbing under the covers. A
little while later, she heard Noah walk into her room.
The next day, Noah and Denise didn’t come down for breakfast and Tara had some work to do during lunch, but she looked forward to seeing him later at night. They had been meeting every night for two weeks and Tara excitedly dressed for dinner, knowing that afterwards, she would excuse herself and he would come meet her in her bedroom.
She wore her sexiest underwear underneath the maroon jumpsuit she wore for dinner and spent an extra ten minutes on her makeup, since she wanted to make up for the night before where her paranoia had gotten the best of her. She made her way down the stairs at nine o’clock that evening and her heart skipped a beat when she saw Noah already seated at the dining table. She smiled at him but he looked away; Tara was confused for a second but she knew that the two of them often avoided each other’s eye to dispel suspicion.
She seated herself across from Noah just as Denise walked in. She looked beautiful in a strappy gold dress that fell to the floor and she was smiling happily as she greeted everyone. Paul smiled at all of them and asked for everyone to please start. They ate mostly in silence, but with little snippets of conversation threading through the meal and Dorothy was serving drinks when Noah suddenly stood up and said “I- uh- I have an announcement to make.”
Tara glanced up and wondered what the hell was going on. Noah cleared his throat and looked at Denise, who stood up, beaming and held his hand. Tara’s blood ran cold as she looked at the two of them. “Denise and I are- uh-” he hesitated and Denise suddenly squealed, “We’re getting married!”
Tara dropped her fork with a loud clatter and Noah glanced in her direction for a second before deliberately looking away. Eileen gasped and Paul blinked silently at Noah before he slowly said, “When did this happen?” Noah glanced at Denise and then said, “I- I proposed last night, and she-” he trailed off but Denise excitedly burst out, “I said yes of course.” Denise suddenly made a huge show of kissing Noah, plastering her lips against his and throwing her arms around his neck for much longer than necessary and Tara stared at them with her mouth open. There was complete silence and then Eileen forced a bright smile on her face and said, “Well- congratulations!”
Twenty minutes later, Tara paced around her room with no idea of what had just happened. Last night, he had been fondling her breasts in the swimming pool and tonight, he was engaged to Denise? Tears were streaming freely down her face as she angrily tore off her jumpsuit and underwear and changed into a pair of shorts and a tank top, wiping away her makeup furiously and repeating, “Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!” How deluded she had been to imagine that anything could happen between her and Noah- other than some fucking around in his daddy’s pool. She wiped away her tears and then fell onto the bed, crying harder than before as she replayed all the moments she had shared with him- intimate moments that she thought had meant something. She cried into her pillow until she drifted off into sleep miserable and lonely.
There was quiet yet urgent knocking on her door, waking Tara up a few hours later. She opened her eyes with some difficulty, since they were glued shut with her dried tears and sat up to look blearily at her phone. It was three in the morning and the knocking on her door continued persistently. She slowly got out of bed and opened the door just a crack, and when she saw Noah standing there wringing his hands, she shut the door again, but he knocked harder this time and whispered, “Tara, please hear me out.”
She opened the door even when she knew she shouldn’t and Noah hurried in, holding her hands. She snatched them away and he said, “Tara, please, you’ve got to listen to me. I promise you it isn’t what it seems.”
“Really, Noah? ‘Cause it seems like you’re engaged to Denise. What is it? Is she pregnant?” Tara spat the words at him angrily and he held up his hands and said, “I know it looks bad, alright? Look, you were right- someone was watching last night- it was Denise. And when I went back to my room, she confronted me about it. I tried to break up with her on the spot- I swear I did Tara- but she threatened to tell my dad and Eileen about us. She said she would tell unless I married her.”
Tara stared at him, and said, “So you proposed?” Noah ran his fingers through her hair and said, “What else was I supposed to do? I can’t have your mom and my dad find out about us- we’re going to be siblings, Tara- do you realize how fucked up that is?”
Tara nodded and said, “So why are you here then? Why explain yourself? Go and marry Denise- I wish Denise and your credit card a long and happy life together.” Noah held her wrists and said, “Come on, Tara, you know why I’m here. I don’t want Denise- I just want you.” Within seconds, he was kissing her and she kissed him back as his hands started to roam.
*****
The next morning, Tara lay in bed until the sun was high in the sky and poured in through her window, casting everything in a bright golden glow. Despite the bright cheeriness of the weather, Tara felt awful as she pulled the covers tightly around herself. She still smelled like Noah and she regretted sleeping with him the night before. She had just slept with someone else’s finance, and even though he had still been with Denise before when they would meet secretly, Tara had comforted herself with the knowledge that neither Noah nor Denise cared for one another and that Noah would leave Denise for her. Now, she knew that it wasn’t going to happen, even if Noah wanted it to. Her head hurt from all the crying she had done since Noah had left her room in the early hours of the morning, and now, she was ignoring her incessantly buzzing phone, flashing her mother’s name on the screen.
A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door and before Tara could even ask who it was, her mother had thrown open the door and walked in. “Tara, what’s wrong honey? Are you sick?” Tara sat up in bed and her head hurt as she tried to steady herself. Her mother’s face swam into view as Tara groaned and Eileen shrieked, “Oh my God, Tara what is it? Do you need to go to a doctor?” Tara shook her head and weakly said, “I’m fine, Mom.”
Eileen laid a hand on Tara’s forehead and said, “Hmm, you don’t have a fever but you’re all red and your face looks swollen.” Eileen then noticed the mascara stains on the pillow and the tissues littering the bed sheet.
“Tara?” Her mother said slowly “Have you been crying, sweetie?” Even as Tara shook her head, she burst into tears again and Eileen threw her arms around her daughter as she said, “Baby what’s wrong?”
Tara didn’t respond but she stayed like that for a while, letting her mother stroke her hair and finding some comfort in the embrace. Finally, she broke away from her mother’s hug and said, “Mom, I have to tell you something.” She sniffed and wiped her nose on her sleeve, as Eileen peered into her face and said, “You can tell me anything, what’s wrong? Are you in trouble?” Tara shook her head and said, “I’m in love, Mom.” Eileen beamed and said, “Tara, that’s wonderful,” but her face fell and she asked, “So why are you crying? Does he not love you back? Or is it a she? Is that the problem, honey? Are you gay?” Tara shook her head and said, “I’m not gay, Mom, but the guy- he does love me- I think he does- but he can’t be with me.” Eileen tucked her daughter’s hair behind her ear and said, “Why not? Is it because he’s in New York and you’re here? Darling you can go back soon.”
Tara shook her head again and said, “No- it’s not that. He can’t be with me because he’s with someone else, he’s engaged. And- and he’s in Miami, Mom.” Her mother looked confused and she said, “But darling, you hardly know anyone here in-” and suddenly, she stopped speaking and raised a hand to her mouth. “No- Tara, you can’t be serious.” Tara nodded and started crying again as she said, “I know it’s disgusting Mom, I can’t explain it, but I- I truly love him.”
Eileen backed away from her crying daughter and said, “Tara- he’s your- he’s Paul’s son.” Tara wiped her tears away shakily and said, “I know, it’s all so messed up.” Eileen moved away and sat at the edge of the bed with her back towards Tara for a few minutes while Tara sobbed quietly, certain that her m
other would never speak to her again.
After a few minutes, however, Eileen stood up and faced Tara, crossing her arms over chest as she said, “What about Noah? You said he loves you too- so why marry Denise?” Tara shook her head and explained everything to her mother, leaving out the gory details of what exactly had been happening in the pool and when she was done, Eileen looked scandalized. “Tara- how long have you been- it must have been two weeks since the day Paul came home, and that’s when you two…?” Tara nodded, ready to start crying again when her mom said, “Alright. I’ll- I’ll do something, you leave it to me.” Tara stared at her mother and said, “Mom, what are you gonna do? There’s nothing you can do. If Noah and I are- if we’re together it means you and Paul can’t…” she trailed off.
Eileen sighed and sat down next to Tara again as she said, “Tara, you asked me something the first day you got here- you asked me if I was happy, and if I loved Paul. Darling, the truth is, I’m happy, but it’s only on the surface- it’s not the kind of happiness I felt when your dad and I got married. And as for Paul, he’s a sweetheart, he really is- but I don’t love him.”
Eileen took a deep shaky breath and said, “There I said it- I don’t love him. I like him, I certainly enjoy his company and I think he’s a lovely man, but I don’t love him. I don’t feel for him the way you say you feel for Noah. And baby, if I can give you the chance of being happy, of being truly happy, I would never take it away from you.”
Tara stared at her mother and said, “What are you saying?”
Eileen stood up and took off her ring, “I’m saying that I’m going to call off the wedding.”
Tara leaped up from the bed and hesitantly said, “Mom, are you sure?”