by Dixon, Ruby
“I guess we can go to your farm for a bit. But I don’t know if I’ll want to stay there.”
“Of course. Whatever you want to do, we will do.”
Kim snorts. “People keep saying that and yet I keep getting pushed around. I’m supposed to have more freedom than I did as a slave, and yet I find myself cornered far too often for me to feel free.” She stares out the window of the air-sled again and I am left with a sense of guilt.
Does she feel I pushed her into our mating? Does she hate me for it?
Yet…she was not the only one without options. The moment I heard she hired the bounty hunter to bring her a husband, I knew I had to take action to protect her.
I did not want to have to get rid of another one of her “suitors.” Even on a farm planet, if people go missing for too long, it is bound to attract notice. Especially the bad people—they tend to have more connections than the good ones. A human female goes missing and no one notices, but the moment you get rid of a mesakkah male who’s frequently at port, people start to wonder.
No, Kim is safest with me. She just doesn’t realize it yet. No other male would be idiotic enough to offer to marry without sex, but I am so lost in my heart-feelings for her that I am exactly the kind of idiot she needs.
15
KIM
I’ve never driven down to Nassakth’s farm, even though I know it’s not far from my own. I expected it to be a small and unimpressive as my own plot of land.
Ha.
Ha ha.
The universe is determined to show me what a dumbass I am.
The best word to describe it is “palatial.” There’s a massive house made from natural stone, with tons of windows. Large, leafy trees line the road and encircle the house, the largest greenery I’ve seen since landing on this planet. His fields are flat and perfectly tilled, with crop-tending drones moving over one row after another. He’s growing something different from me, the plants green and tall and strong, similar to corn but with bluish pods instead of yellow cobs. The next field over, there’s fat meat-stock animals wandering lush green fields, and it looks like a picture-perfect paradise.
I’m…jealous.
And even more baffled than I was before. Why did he agree to a platonic relationship with me? He’s not getting anything out of this. I eye Nassakth warily. Either he doesn’t think we’re going to be all that platonic, or there’s some other motive here.
He parks the air-sled, frowning a little when the engine rattles before it turns off, and then looks over at me. “Would you like to see my house?”
I gesture at it. “You mean this palace?”
Nassakth chuckles, smoothing one of the tufts on his cheek. “It is perhaps a little more ostentatious than it should be. Even an old fighter has vanity that must sometimes be appeased.”
“You keep saying you’re old. How old are you?” It’s awfully hard for me to tell given that he looks like a cross between a human and a cat and most of him is covered in gray fur. Is he super decrepit and expecting to die soon? Is that why he married me?
“A praxiian’s lifespan is similar to humans, I believe. I am forty-five. Not so terrible in general, but ancient for a gladiator.” He smiles, showing bright white canines. “Is that too old for you?”
“I don’t see how, considering we married just to be friends.” I emphasize the last word, watching him.
Nassakth sighs and glances at his house, as if he doesn’t want to meet my gaze. “I should confess something to you before we go much further, Kim.”
“I knew it!” I reach over and slap his arm, furious. “You’re going to kill me and steal my land, aren’t you?” I slap at him again, wishing I had a weapon. “You monster!”
He grabs my hand, holding my wrist, and his brows furrow together, his ears flattening. “What? Why would I want your land? It’s the worst homestead on this entire keffing planet and it’s covered in a drug I have no wish to ever see again.”
I struggle in his grasp. “Then why—”
“Because I like you!” he roars. “How many times must I tell you that?”
I freeze. He lets go of my hands and I retreat back to my side of the air-sled, rubbing my wrists. For all that he grabbed me, his touch was gentle and warm, and I’m not sure what to think about that. “I guess you need to tell me that at least one more time for it to sink in.”
He snorts, either amused or exasperated. Or both. “I was going to tell you that I have agreed to a marriage in name only, but my heart-feelings for you have never changed, and I wished to be clear.” Nassakth glances over at me again, watching me with those strangely intense cat eyes. “I am content to be your friend for as long as you need, but I will also not deny that I hope that in time we will become something more.” He shakes his head. “Now I am wondering if that is a foolish hope, seeing as how you think I am bringing you here to bury you in my backyard.”
The big praxiian sounds so sad I almost feel guilty. Almost. I’ve been through too much in the last few years to apologize for my actions, though. “You have to look at it from my point of view. Everyone I have met for the last five years has tried to take my money, enslave me, rape me, or steal my land. If I don’t trust you, it’s because you haven’t earned my trust yet. I have to be cautious. And let’s be honest, up until yesterday, you were just the scary guy that lurked around my farm and jizzed on my doorstep. It’s hard for me to stop and process that as a ‘friendly’ action because in my world, that’s a declaration that you want to do terrible things to me.”
Nassakth grunts. “It will take time for both of us to understand one another, but this is a good start. We must talk through questions before assuming the worst.”
“Easy for you to say when you hold all the power,” I tell him lightly. “I’m the vulnerable party here.”
“You are,” he agrees. “We can change that. Would you like a weapon?”
“Like a gun?” When he nods, I’m utterly astonished—and a little excited. “Really?”
“Really. I want you to be safe, even if you feel you must be safe from me.” He runs a hand over the controls of the air-sled. “And unlike the fools that gave you this piece of junk, I will even show you how to use your gun.”
“Thank you,” I whisper. This might be the kindest thing anyone’s done for me yet.
He nods. “Also, you are wise not to trust anyone. You are right that most of the people here on this planet are out for themselves—even Bethiah. Especially Bethiah,” he amends. “But I hope that being mated to me will keep you safer.”
“Because you’re going to show me how to use a gun?”
His eyes seem to glitter as he looks at me. “Because I would rip the throat out of any male that tried to take advantage of my mate and drink his blood with fierce joy.”
I shiver. “Or that.”
Nassakth clears his throat and then gets out of the sled. He moves to my side and opens the door, then holds his hand out for me to take. “Come. I will show you our home.”
Our home. I’m not sure if that’s exciting or terrifying. Everything’s changing so quickly. I gaze down at his big, intimidating hand. You have to trust someone at some point, right? So I put my hand in his and let him lead the way.
16
KIM
The interior of Nassakth’s house is as impressive as the exterior. I expect it to be cold and austere like a lot of the places in port, but the walls are a pale stucco embedded with a lot of windows that makes everything feel warm and inviting and full of light. The floor is a light colored tile, and everywhere I look, there are bright green plants in pots and crawling over planters. Vines trail along nooks near the ceiling, and frame an archway that leads to a living area.
I glance over at Nassakth. “You like plants?”
“Love them, actually.” He clasps his hands behind his back and rocks on his heels. “When I was a gladiator, we were kept in very spare cages with dirt floors. I remember one of the first rewards I received from winning a match. My owner was giv
en a very showy plant and a ribbon, and he gave the plant to me because he thought it smelled bad. I kept it for many years until it died, giving it a portion of my water rations, and it was the only greenery I saw. I told myself if I ever got free, I would surround myself with living things so I would see them everywhere I turned.”
“That’s beautiful.” I know how he feels. Didn’t I swear all kinds of things once I got my freedom? That I would never be owned again. That I would never be forced to do anything I didn’t want to do ever again. Clearly I should have specified. “What happened to your owner?”
“He died,” Nassakth says flatly. “Come. I will show you the kitchen.”
The kitchen itself has less greenery than the rest of the house, though there is a large square window with small pots growing along the ledge.
“Herbs,” the praxiian explains. “My people like herbs.”
“But not flowers,” I comment, thinking of the noli.
“No. Not flowers.” He hesitates. “Some like them too much, but I am not one of them.”
I remember how he’d groaned with pain last night and accused me of being cruel and torturing him. It took me far too long to connect the dots on the flowers with his actions, and I feel a little guilty. Only a little, though, because what else was I supposed to think?
He leads me through more large, breathtaking rooms filled with greenery and mentions that he has a local man come by and clean for him once a week. I stare in amazement at a huge room full of athletic equipment and another that is full of vid-screens and technological things past my comprehension. There’s a weapon room, too, with swords and axes and stun-weapons of every kind lining the walls in neat, orderly fashion. There’s a large display unit in the center of the room that’s meant to show three-dimensional movies. I remember seeing something like that because my old master had something along those lines. I walk toward it and tap it on, fascinated.
“Select date of match,” a computerized voice says in praxiian.
Nassakth leaps to my side, quickly tapping the machine off before I can make a selection. “You don’t want to watch that.”
I frown up at him. “Why not?”
“It is…recordings of some of my matches.” His jaw flexes. “It is not for polite human eyes. You will not like what you see.”
“Um…okay.” Like I’m not going to look at this the next chance I get? He must be proud of some of his wins in the past if he displays them in his war room…but he doesn’t want me to see them because I’m a human?
Or because he thinks they’ll terrify me? I know he’s a gladiator. I’ve seen the occasional gladiator match in the past. They’re usually fights to a death or a maiming of some kind. It’s not pretty stuff, but so little on this end of the universe is pleasant that to me, they’re unsurprising. I knew he wasn’t playing cards for a living, that’s for sure.
But he watches me with glittering eyes, and I get the impression that he doesn’t want me to ask. That he’s silently pleading with me for understanding.
“So.” I cross my arms and glance around the war room—or a man cave, I suppose. “Where are the bedrooms in this house?”
“There is one bedroom and it is very fine.” Nassakth nods with relief. “Come, I will show you.”
“Er…one bedroom? In this big house?” He has a room for weapons but not one for guests?
“Praxiian families sleep in the same bed together,” he admits, tail swishing. “I have learned that this is not the case with many other races, but since I was having my house built to my specifications, I did not assume another room would be necessary.”
The fuck? “You slept in the same bed with your parents?”
“And my siblings,” he agrees. “Until I was old enough to seek out my own home.”
I have SO many questions. So, so many. Like…why? And what happened if the parents wanted to have sex? What happened if one of the kids wet the damn bed? What if you have guests over? Do they sleep with the family? But I don’t want to be insensitive, so I chew on my lip and try to think of something polite to say. “So…how is this going to work?”
His tail swishes faster. “If you wish for cubs, we can always have additional rooms added to the house.”
My face flames hot. “Wow, jumping the gun much? That wasn’t what I meant.” I pause. “Wait…you and I can have kids? Er, cubs?”
Nassakth shrugs his big, furry shoulders. “I have seen mesakkah hybrids and szzt hybrids. I have even seen a drakoni hybrid. I would imagine a praxiian-human hybrid would be entirely possible, though it would likely cost a fair amount of credits to purchase the correct biological assistance.”
A baby. I hate that my biological clock starts ticking loudly at the thought. I’ve always wanted a baby. Someone to love and cuddle and take care of. Someone that would fill the lonely holes in my heart. Yeah, a baby sounds…amazing. And the fact that it can be made with “biological assistance” means we won’t even have to touch. “I think I’d like a baby. Not yet, but in the future.”
He nods slowly. “Then I will arrange for the house to have additional rooms built.”
“What I asked about,” I say, trying to choose my words in as delicate a fashion as possible. “When I said how is this going to work, I meant in regards to you and me, since there’s only one bed.”
Nassakth looks taken aback. “You do not want to sleep in the same quarters as me?”
“Tempting, but no.”
He narrows his eyes at me, as if just now figuring out that my sarcastic “tempting” means I am not tempted in the slightest. But he nods. “I will sleep outside the door then…on one condition. Tell me what Bethiah said to you.”
* * *
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17
KIM
My face feels scorching hot as I recall the bounty hunter’s lewd words. “Girl, if you’re smart, you’ll learn to make that kitty purr and he’ll make you purr, too. That one’s got a cock to make a girl weep with joy.” She’d patted my cheek. “And here you thought I wasn’t romantic. But if you need me to take him out, just give me a call and we can work on some pricing.”
I think she’s full of crap. I think she picked him because he bribed her, and the fact that she’s willing to kill him after “romantically” setting us up just proves how amoral she is.
Still, should I say this to Nassakth? She offered me an out, after all. I hesitate, thinking.
You have to trust someone at some point.
And he’s offered to sleep in another room. And he’s given me half his possessions in the marriage contract. And he’s going to show me how to use a weapon…
And I don’t trust Bethiah in the slightest.
“She told me you had a big dick and I should hop on it,” I blurt out.
He strokes his chin, contemplating this answer. “It is good advice.”
“I’m not jumping on anything, thank you very much. You agreed to have a platonic relationship.”
“I did, though it would give me great pleasure to make you purr.”
I narrow my eyes at him. Interesting choice of words. Did he hear what Bethiah said or does everyone just lean into the cat puns when it comes to praxiians? “Don’t even try it.”
Nassakth sighs. “Do not worry. I have given you my word of honor.” He gestures at the hall. “I will show you the bedroom and you may claim it as your quarters.”
I follow him down the hall, kind of in love with all the beautiful greenery in the house. It really does make the place seem like a paradise. I think of my small farm, atop a rocky crag covered in flowers, and my puny little homestead house. “You must have been really rich to afford this place,” I comment.
He just grunts. “Land is cheap out here. Why do you think they give it away to humans?”
“Ouch.”
He glances over his shoulder. “I did not mean it like that.”
“I mean, you have a point. No one on this end of the universe seems to like humans much. I’ve definitely learned
that the hard way.”
The big alien pauses at the doorway and looks over at me. “No one will ever threaten you again, Kim. This I promise you.”
“I hope you’re right.”
He nods and then opens the door to the bedroom and I am…not prepared for the size of the bed in there. It’s literally bigger than my bedroom in my last apartment, just an enormous platform with pillows tossed all over it and a raised, cushiony side to prevent you from rolling out. It’s like…an enormous bowl you’re meant to sleep in, and now I can see that a praxiian family could fit in there. There’s room for at least seven big adults.
And there’s plenty of room for me and Nassakth both. Does that mean I’m going to invite him to stay?
No, no it does not. He offered to sleep in the hall and I am going to take him up on it, because I am not letting an alien push me around again. “Nice place,” I comment, moving forward to touch the leaf of a pale green, spiky plant in the corner. Other than the bed and a gigantic window on one side of the room, there’s not a lot here. It’s literally just for sleeping. There’s two doors along the far wall, probably closets.
“The private bathing room is here,” Nassakth says, moving to a door that I thought was a second closet.
He opens the door and I gasp in surprise—and delight—at the sight of the bathroom. It looks like something from a Turkish palace, with a huge, sunken tub as big as a kiddie pool, more greenery, and a trickling fountain set into the wall. “Holy crap, this is lovely.”
“Praxiians are fond of bathing pools. I spared no expense.”
They are? In a way, I suppose it makes sense. Tigers like swimming, don’t they? I think of my own crappy little cleanser box, which uses sonic beams to clean my skin. It’s nice enough, but it’s nothing like this little indoor paradise. “Are you sure you want to hand all this over to me?” I ask him, uncertain. “I don’t want to displace you.”