by Dixon, Ruby
"Suffer?" my mother echoes, indignant. "Our humans are treated very well."
About as well as third-born sons, I imagine. My bitter, angry thoughts are not praxiian thoughts. Any praxiian male should be proud to endure what I have for my family. I brought them honor and glory, and they were able to rebuild our house into a great empire once more. That much is obvious from the wealth that drips off of my parents.
I did not want them to suffer, of course, but…seeing their riches has only increased the bitterness in my heart-feelings.
Whatever I hoped to find this day, it is not here.
68
NASSAKTH
"Very well," my father says, trying to be genial and understanding. "Take the night to consider things. I realize it is a large change for one who has lived on the fringes of society for many years. We cannot expect you to re-enter the fold overnight." He shoots a look at my mother, who opens her mouth to protest. "Take the time and discuss it with whoever you like, and we will make plans in the morning."
"Yes," my mother says, getting to her feet in a rustle of silk. She clasps her hands in front of her chest and gives me a polite smile. "Until then, shall I show you where our quarters are? There is room for you and your mate, both, of course."
Quarters.
Of course—they have acquired rooms and expect Kim and I to stay with them, as is praxiian custom. That we will share rooms and sleep in the same bed together. I think of my Kim, and how shocked she was to learn how praxiians sleep. She would hate the thought of staying with them tonight.
Something tells me my sweet Kim would try to claw their eyes out. "We will be staying elsewhere," I say politely. "Humans have different customs."
"Nonsense. They learn very quickly," my mother says, huffy. "Your father's sleeps with us. and she does not take up much room." She flicks her platinum claws in my direction. "I insist. Bring your pet to this filthy place and we will head to our ship together."
"She is not my pet," I say, my patience wearing thin. "She is my mate, and you have just ensured I will not bring her tonight at all." I give them one last polite smile. "Contact my bounty hunter if you wish to speak in the morning." I nod to them both and leave before they can protest again.
Bethiah shuts the door to the private room, hurrying out after me. "Kef me, that was a lot to take in. Here I thought my family was messed up." She snorts. "Your little Cheem is going to shit herself when she hears you're the long-lost kitty cat heir."
"I am not lost," I say thoughtfully. "They threw me away and never thought about me again."
"Until now that they need you," Bethiah agrees. "You…huh."
"Hm?" I'm lost in thought as we move around the stage, toward the central part of the cantina.
"Here's something quirky," Bethiah says in a tight voice. "Kaspar's missing."
I stiffen, my thoughts racing with fear. Kaspar was posted in front of the human room. Has someone stolen Kim from under my nose? Is that what this was about? I snarl with fury as I race across the cantina, toward the ominously closed door posted with so many signs proclaiming that valuable humans are just on the other side. Why not keffing ask to be robbed? Why would anyone do something so stupid?
Why did I leave her for a single moment?
I'm growling as I fling myself against the door, busting into the room. If she's not here, I'm going to break every head in this cantina and—
Kim looks up, startled. She's seated in the room alone, her hands folded in her lap, and she looks the same as when I left her. "Oh! Nassakth! You're back quickly." She jumps to her feet, moving around the table. "Are you okay? Is something wrong?"
I cup her face, and as I do, I realize I am trembling. The thought of losing her has affected me far more than my family's offer did. "You…are safe?"
She bites her lip and nods, her eyes luminous as she gazes up at me. "I did a bad thing though," she whispers. "I helped your dad's pet human escape him, and I'm not sorry. Please don't be mad at me."
Mad?
I chuckle and press a dozen kisses on her face. "Nothing you do could ever make me angry."
"I'm going to let her stay at my farm," she whispers.
"Still not mad." I keep kissing her face, relieved. I'm so relieved. For a terrible moment, I saw Kaspar gone and thought I'd lost her…it was such an awful feeling I hope to never experience it again. "We are going back to the Little Sister now."
And once we're there, I might never let her go. Ever.
"Wait, how did the meeting with your parents go?" She curls her fingers in my sleeve, studying my face. "I know you were worried. Did everything turn out okay? What did they want? Did they apologize to you? Did they hug you?"
My heart hurts.
This is the reaction I wanted from my parents. Kim asks how they treated me and if they apologized because she knows this is what I want. She knows because she knows me. She talks to me. I might as well be a piece of furniture for all that my parents care. They put out a bounty on me because they needed an heir. They did not care about Nassakth, their third-born son. They have never cared.
Meanwhile, this tiny slip of a human stares up at me with such a fierce, protective expression on her face that she looks ready to do battle on my behalf. It helps ease some of the heart-wounds, and I smile down at her. "I will tell you everything, but in private."
"I hate to interrupt this beautiful, beautiful moment," Bethiah says sarcastically. "But there are a few gaudy-looking praxiians heading in this direction and unless you want another confrontation, we should probably get out of here."
"Let us go," I say, scooping Kim up into my arms. We will move faster if I do not have to worry about someone snatching her from my side. My mate doesn't protest, just wraps her arms around my neck and her breasts push against the side of my head.
My day has already gotten better.
"We'll take the long way, in case there's a tail," Bethiah says. "Follow me." She disappears out of the cantina and into the crowd.
The long way. Again. I fight back a groan, because I want nothing more than to be alone with Kim on the ship. But this is what I hired the bounty hunter for, and so we follow quickly.
69
NASSAKTH
It should not surprise me that there is a tail following us. Of course my parents wish to find out where I am hiding out. I am their heir, even if I have not agreed to it. Bethiah is worth every credit as she weaves us through the crowd and we cut through several questionable-looking shops before we head back toward the docks.
It should also not surprise me that when we board the Little Sister, Mathiras is arguing with Kaspar, the human female sandwiched between them. My Kim wades in to the arguments immediately, explaining why she had to save Sophie and why it's important to take her back with us. The corsairs wish to charge us another fee—and more for hiding her—but I am tired. I wave agreement at them. "Charge what you must. I will pay it."
It is settled, and Sophie is established in the room with Bethiah while Adiron works on removing her shock collar. It has apparently gone off twice, causing the human to pass out, much to Adiron's (and my Kim's) dismay.
It should also not surprise me that when we retreat to our rooms and I confess everything my parents said to me, Kim is angry on my behalf.
"They didn't even ASK how you were? If you were in danger?" She flings her hands up as she paces. "Of course not. Why would they ask? They knew you were in danger. It was all over the fucking vid-screens. And they're the ones that sold you. I can't believe their nerve!"
"You are angrier over the fact that they were not remorseful? You are not angry that they are trying to give me another mate?"
"Oh, that pisses me off, too. Make no mistake about that." She shoots me an indignant glance. "But I know you won't do that to me." She moves to the bed quickly, thumping down next to me. "Are you okay, Nassakth?" She takes my bigger hands in hers. "This has been a horrible day and I know you have to be hurt."
"I love you," I tell her quietly.
Her anger on my behalf gives me peace, oddly enough. I hold her hands tightly. "I love that you are hurt on my behalf."
"I know a lot of it is cultural and I don't understand it, but…" She shakes her head. "Promise me that if we have children, they will never, ever, ever be sold. No matter if we have one or thirty. They all stay with us until they get old and gray."
I am shocked she must ask. "Kim, I know what it is like to be a slave. Of course we would not sell our children. I do not care if it is praxiian custom—I learned the hard way that that particular praxiian custom is easy for everyone except for the one sold." I pull her hands to my mouth and kiss her skin. "We sell no one. Ever."
"Good." Her gaze roams over me again. "I'm so mad at them. You spent forever brushing your tail this morning. That's a peacock thing, right? The fussing with the tails?"
I do not know what a pee-cock is. "A glorious tail is a sign of pride."
"I hope they were proud of yours, then. It's beautiful."
I think of my father's trinket-encrusted tail, so heavy it dragged on the ground, and I suspect they were not. "You noticed my tail?"
Her cheeks grow pink. "I always notice your tail."
My cock twitches in my trou, and I grow hungry to claim my mate. "Is that so?" I grab her hand and tug her toward me. "Tell me more about my tail and how it arouses you."
"I didn't say that." She lets me pull her into my lap, and then my Kim's plush bottom is seated upon my thigh, and I nuzzle at her ear. "You're distracting me. I want to be angry at your parents for a little longer."
"I do not want to think about them right now. I want to think about licking you all over."
Kim pushes against my chest, frowning up at me. "We have to think about them. What are you going to do? Do you want to go back to Praxii Minor with them and be the heir?"
"I do not know," I admit. "Part of me wants it because it would make me a powerful man, and they would be forced to pay allegiance to me. They would have to bow and scrape to me. My wounded pride likes that idea very much." I stroke her hair, studying her absently. "But it would be a miserable existence for you. There would be no quiet in our lives. Our children would be considered abominations. My people would not respect you or our relationship. So no, I will not trade what we have for petty revenge." I lean in and nuzzle at her ear again. "I would not trade your happiness for mine."
Kim slides out of my grasp. "But you're giving up so much, Nassakth. I don't want you to give up your future for me." She gives me a worried look. "You said yourself you weren't meant to be a farmer. This is an opportunity to be a great man, no matter how I feel about it. I don't want you to give up wealth and prestige just because of a relationship with me. It's only been, what, a month?" She bites her lip. "Maybe we should let this thing between us go."
Let this thing between us go?
"You think I am that selfish of a male?" I shake my head at her. "You think I would trade all the wealth in the world for a good, kind mate?"
"No, I don't think that at all," Kim says softly. "I think you're too good of a man to make such a trade…which is why I'm suggesting it. I think you're kind and generous and I think you'd be a wonderful house head or whatever it is they call it on Praxii Minor. And I don't want to weigh you down. If I wasn't your mate, would you take it?"
I am silent, because I know my answer is damning.
"See?" she says gently. "Having a human mate is only going to slow you down, Nassakth. I love you, but maybe there's no place for love in our future. Maybe you're meant to do greater things and I'm holding you back." She strokes my cheek. "I think you should contact them in the morning and take the offer. Be the heir. Be the man you were meant to be. And don't think about me at all." Her smile is achingly sweet. "I'll be fine. I'll manage. And maybe from time to time you can come visit your human concubine on a remote farm planet. Surely that'll be allowed."
"My sweet Kim," I murmur. "No."
"At least think about it tonight," she says again, and then gets up. She scoops up her datapad and heads to the door, then smiles at me over her shoulder. "I'll leave you alone with your thoughts."
Then she is gone, and I am alone in our cabin…and must make a decision.
70
KIM
This is a nightmare.
I keep expecting tears to come, but I'm too numb. I tell myself that I have to do this. That it's what's right for Nassakth. I can't hold him back from his destiny just because I'm a selfish dork that wants to grab his tunic and scream at him not to go. I know humans don't belong on this end of the universe—the universe sees fit to remind me of that everywhere I go—but after meeting and marrying Nassakth, I allowed myself to have hope again.
Hope that I could have a good life, with a good man. Have a family. Have a happy ever after.
Now I see that the universe doesn't have that in store for me, so I need to suck it up and get used to things. Before I met Nassakth, I was prepared to live a quiet life alone on my farm, expecting nothing from the world around me. I need to get back to that mindset. I take my datapad into the mess hall, intending to sit in a quiet corner, read messages from my friends back on Risda III, and sob into some sweet breakfast noodles topped with trentii crumbs.
Of course the mess hall isn't empty, though. Bethiah and Sophie are both there. It figures that even now, I can't get the privacy I want to just stew through my emotions. They both look up when I arrive, and Sophie flinches at the sight of my face.
"You're sending me back, aren't you?" she asks, tensing. Her gaze darts around the room and she looks ready to bolt.
"What? No. Don't be silly." I wave a hand. "Just relax. Go back to whatever it was you were doing."
"I know the look on her face," Bethiah says, stealing a bite of food from Sophie's bowl. "It's relationship crap. Don't ask her about it or she's going to vomit a whole mess of feelings at you."
"I am not," I protest, and ruin my declaration by getting weepy. "I'm fine," I sob. "I promise."
"Oh no." Sophie gets to her feet, picking up a plas-film napkin and offering it to me. "Is it…my fault? Is he mad at you?"
Bethiah just groans and heads to the food dispenser as Sophie steers me toward their table. "It's just this whole situation," I weep, swiping at my face with the napkin. "They want him to go back to Praxii Minor with them and be their heir. Which is great for him, but it means I don't have a spot in his life."
"You know what you need, then?" Bethiah asks brightly as she pushes buttons on the dispenser. "A new husband. This ship's got three mesakkah males that are some prime choices. Well…mostly prime. One's kind of dumb, and one's got a death wish…" She pauses, thinking. "And the other's kind of a stick in the mud. But they're all pretty to look at, and really, you can't ask for more than that."
I glare at her. "I don't need a new husband. I want the one I have."
The bounty hunter shrugs. "Then stay with him. Go to the praxii planet and be his lapdog."
Sophie swallows hard, giving me an uneasy look. "It's not a good place for humans."
"I know." Oh, I know this very well. The fact that his family wants to just cast me aside like I'm nothing so they can arrange Nassakth's marriage to a stranger tells me everything. If I go with him, I'll be nothing more than a speed bump in the way of his rise to glory. He'll have to take another wife, a praxiian one, and get her pregnant with praxiian babies. Cubs. Because if he takes this, he's going to show everyone that he's the perfect praxiian male. That he's everything they aspire to be.
How can I want anything less for him? I love him. I want him to be happy, even if I can't be with him. I look over at Sophie, at the burn marks on her throat from the shock collar and the wary expression on her face. I don't ever want to turn into that again.
Even for Nassakth, I won't. If he goes to Praxii Minor, I won't be following.
"Look, is it really such a bad thing if he heads home?" Bethiah asks. She sits back down at the table, her bowl overflowing with noodles of three different kinds, all mi
xed together. "You wanted a husband in name alone so no one could snatch your property. Isn't this exactly what you wanted? If he's gallivanting around on his home planet, he can't exactly come home and demand his little mate service him." She pushes an eating stick into the noodles, swirling them. "Seems like a perfect situation to me."
"It's different now," I choke out.
"Now whose fault is that?" she asks, indignant. "It's like you humans don't know what you want!"
"I want Nassakth!" I cry, my hands clenching into fists. "I've fallen in love with him."
"Sounds like a personal problem to me," Bethiah says, shrugging. "But you know who to call if you need another husband found. I'm always available."
Sophie steps in front of me, as if she's afraid I'll fling myself at the bounty hunter and choke her. "Come on. Let's go take a walk. You can talk it out with me if you like. Ask me about living on Praxii Minor as a human, or anything else you want." She gently steers me toward the hall.
I let Sophie lead me deeper into the ship, my thoughts racing. "Are they…are they as rich as Nassakth thinks they are?"
"Richer," she says in a disgusted voice. "They're seriously big cheeses. There's always some important dignitary or general showing up at their house for them to fawn over."
"Ugh."
"Very ugh." She hesitates, then goes on. "It's not a very quiet life."
It doesn't sound like it is. But maybe this is exactly what Nassakth needs—the life of a gladiator wasn't a quiet one, either. If some part of him misses the limelight…then this is perfect for him.
A nightmare for me, but perfect for him. And I love him too much to hold onto him. If this is his dream, I want him to pursue it. So I take Sophie's hand in mine and squeeze it. "Let me tell you all about Risda III. I have a little farm there and it's at the top of a hill covered in noli. It's kind of remote and quiet, and the farm itself is small, but because of the noli, I can assure you that you will probably never be bothered by praxiians."