“Need inside you.”
Kady got his meaning when she felt the head of his penis trying to breach her sex. His intent knocked her off the cloud she’d been floating on and she tore her mouth away in a panic. “T-Tristan,” she gasped, feeling her outer lips being stretched. “Tristan, stop. I—I can’t. Please. Stop. Tristan. NO!”
He went still, gulping oxygen like a fish out of water. It took his brain a little longer than hers but he finally registered what he’d been about to do. “Kady, Christ…” He dropped his head on her shoulder, waiting for his heart rate to come down enough to move. Sliding her to the floor, he made sure she was steady on her feet before making his escape. “Fuck,” he cursed, stepping out of the stall. “Fuck, I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t—” He’d already grabbed his clothes and was halfway out the door when Kady finished her plea. “—be sorry,” she whispered.
Chapter
“It looks better on you than it ever did on me.”
Kady came out of the bathroom wearing one of Tristan’s concert tee’s, Metallica circa 2011. Though it was long enough to hit her knees, she felt grateful for the shorts underneath. “Thank you for all this. I feel like I’m putting you out, taking your bedroom and everything.”
“You’re not. Besides, you don’t have much choice. Heard on the radio they’re expecting another four to six inches before the storm blows through.” They stood in the middle of the living room looking at each other, neither sure what the other was thinking. “Well, the bed’s freshly made up. We should try to get some sleep. It’s Sunday already and I’ve got Mass at eight.”
“You don’t think you’ll have to cancel service?”
“If the snow plows don’t make the rounds in time then it’s a possibility. But for now I have to consider it business as usual until I hear otherwise.”
Expecting Kady to go into his room, Tristan unfolded a blanket preparing to bed down on the couch for the night. A small cold hand reached for his arm. He turned.
“I regret it,” she said softly.
Seeing the tears in her eyes made his own start to well with remorse. “Kady…”
“I regret stopping you.”
He was taken aback. “No. If you hadn’t stopped me I would’ve—”
“I wish I hadn’t.”
“Don’t say that. I’m grateful you had the sense I didn’t. You not only saved yourself but me, as well. Thank God you were strong.”
“I wasn’t strong, Tristan. I was scared.”
His stomach knotted. “Oh Christ, Kady. I’m sorry. I lost control. I lost my mind. I wanted you so much I didn’t— Shit. I never meant to scare you.”
“You didn’t. I wanted you just as much. I panicked because…” She bowed her head. “Because I’ve never done that before.” He assumed she meant sex in the shower, so when she said, “Been with a man,” his forehead creased in confusion.
“I… don’t understand.”
She gave him a moment to arrive at the answer on his own.
“You’re telling me…” His pulse had started a slow jog. “You’re a virgin?” Kady claiming not to have carnal knowledge was ridiculous. “How can you be a virgin when you had a baby in your belly?” He was stunned. Incensed. Fucking pissed that she was trying once again to play the innocent bystander card. “Or did it get there by immaculate conception?”
“I never said I was a virgin.” She was still talking to her feet. “Technically.”
“And what is that supposed to mean?”
“I’ve only had intercourse one time. That I know of.”
Incredulous scoff. “Oh, this just keeps getting better and better. That you know of? Really, Kady?” Plowing both hands through his hair, he paced the room trying to figure out what her angle was. What did she hope to accomplish by this charade?
“I don’t know because I don’t remember. Can’t remember.” Tears were raining down her cheeks now but she didn’t bother trying to stop them. This was a long time coming and she had to see it through to the end. She couldn’t take a break, not even to cry. “I never cheated on you. I—I was raped.” The last word was uttered so softly it sounded like a breath.
Tristan didn’t think he heard correctly. She couldn’t possibly have said… He swung around. “What did you say?”
“I said I never cheated on you.”
“The… other… part.” The words he gritted out were hard fought.
Kady turned toward the window wishing she could fly through it. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. Wasn’t how she’d planned on telling him. How she wanted to reveal her shame. Trying to hold herself together, she hugged her waist and inhaled.
“I was raped.”
Tristan’s face went from white with shock to red with rage. Every hair on his body stood on end. Every muscle clenched. Every internal organ stopped functioning for the span of what felt like several serious minutes. Raped. Hearing that devastating word a second time thrust the pike deeper into his belly. He almost doubled over from the force.
“Fuuuck,” he swore on a long exhale. Grasping his head, he shook it slowly back and forth, his face a canvas of stunned desolation. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. This isn’t happening.”
“I’m s-sorry,” she choked.
His head slowly came up. It took a second for him to comprehend what she’d said. “You’re sorry?” he growled in disbelief. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
Tristan rushed to her then, taking her by the shoulders and spinning her around so she faced him. He bent down to look Kady squarely in the eyes. Giving her a small shake he told her fiercely, “No, you have nothing to be sorry for! Not a damn thing, you hear?” Then he pulled her into his arms as she burst into a sob. “Oh my God, baby, you’ve got nothing to be sorry for.”
“I—I wanted to tell you.”
“Shhh… It’s okay.” His large hand encompassed her small head and pressed it against his chest, sheltering it there as he held her. “I’m the one who’s sorry. So. Goddamn. Sorry.” Every cell in his body was seething with pain and regret.
Heavenly Father, how could this be? How could he not have known? How could he have done that? What happened to Kady was the worst thing a woman could go through and he’d called her a whore. Was so quick to lay blame when he knew she wasn’t capable of the things he’d accused her of. Jealousy had blinded him and he’d treated her like dirt. He was consumed by the fact she was pregnant with a baby that wasn’t his. All he could think about was how some other guy had gotten to her first. Had taken what was his. Jesus, what a self-centered prick. Little wonder she felt she couldn’t talk to him.
Walking her to the sofa, he cradled Kady on his lap. While she sobbed in earnest, saturating the front of his shirt with her tears he kissed her hair and murmured soothing endearments into the silky strands.
“I—I wanted to tell you b-before,” she hiccupped. “But—but I couldn’t.”
“I know. I know. Shhh… It’s over. I’m here. I’m here now.”
He swung her legs onto the couch and sat back with her, enveloping her in his arms until her crying calmed and her eyelids became heavy. Emotionally and physically depleted, she eventually drifted off to sleep while Tristan sat wide-awake with adrenaline, guilt coursing through his veins like acid.
~oOo~
He rolled his neck and the sound of cracking startled Kady’s lids open. Groggy and disoriented, she pushed against his chest to sit up, her eyes going wide as she realized she’d been dozing in his lap.
“Didn’t mean to wake you.”
She glanced around, taking a moment to get her bearings. “How long was I out?”
“Not long. About forty minutes.”
“You must be all cramped up.” She tried to slide off his lap but he held onto her.
“You don’t need to get off on my account.” When she slanted him a dubious look he assured her, “I’m good. Really.”
After a brief hesitation, she settled back down and rested her head on his sho
ulder. “I’m glad, because I don’t ever want to move from here.”
He chuckled and kissed her forehead. They stayed like that a while with Tristan stroking her hair, Kady breathing soundly. Before she could fall back asleep he whispered, “Kadence?”
She burrowed closer. “Mmm?”
“I need to ask you something. I hate to do this now, so soon. But… did you know him?”
She sat up again, this time staring at him with her blue eyes dark with fear and hurt. His question had cleaved her heart in two. Had she been stupid to think he’d feel differently about her now?
“Oh no, baby, no.” He drew her into a reassuring embrace. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just want to know if you can identify him. Someone you know? From around town maybe? Was he a stranger?”
The part she’d been dreading had finally arrived. Distress etched her ruddy tear-stained face as she thought about how Tristan would handle the disclosure. It would surely kill him. “It doesn’t matter now.” Her mouth was so dry she tasted sand. “There’s nothing anyone can do. It’s too late.”
“If it’s about the statute of limitations…”
“It’s not that.”
“The guy can’t be allowed to get away with this. We’ll make something work. Sue him in civil court if that’s our only option.”
She shook her head. “You don’t understand.”
“I know you’re scared. But I’ll be with you every step of the way. This time we’ll get through it together. He’ll pay for what he did to you, I promise you that.”
“He’s dead.”
Any hope Tristan had for justice was pulled out from under him. He’d been prepared for anything but that. The news was vastly disappointing to say the least. Shit. The only retribution that could be had now was in the afterlife, which meant it was out of his hands and in God’s.
Never avenge yourselves but leave it to the wrath of God. for it is written Vengeance is mine. I will repay, says the Lord.
He shoved out a breath. There was no choice now but to trust that the Almighty would see to it the cocksucker atoned for his sin. And not just for a determinate prison sentence but for all eternity.
I’m counting on you, Lord.
Gently taking her jaw, he coaxed Kady to face him. “Who was he, Kadence?” The question was calmly asked yet there was no missing the underlying urgency. “Tell me. Tell me his name. I need to know.”
She scrambled off his lap to move to the other end of the couch. Drawing her legs up she sat in a small ball, arms folded protectively around her.
“His name, Kady.”
Her lids dropped closed as a black memory like a sinister shadow crawled toward her.
“Reese?”
Kady was propped up in a disheveled bed, an Iron Maiden poster on the wall behind her. She was clutching a sheet to her chest, completely nude underneath it with no clue of how she got that way.
“Reese, w-what are you doing here?”
Sprawled in a chair opposite her, hands clasped on his chest, Reese Cleary’s long legs were spread out before him in an indolent manner. He was staring at his brother’s girlfriend through hooded eyes. “Watching you sleep,” he drawled.
She didn’t like how he sounded or the strange way he was looking at her. She didn’t like that he was here while Tristan was not. Didn’t like that she woke to find herself in Tristan’s dorm room with no memory and no underwear.
“W-where’s Tristan?” Hadn’t he sent her a text asking her to meet him here?
“You don’t know?”
Did Reese just give her a mocking smile to match his tone? She couldn’t tell since his lips always seemed forever fixed in a perma-smirk. “If I knew I wouldn’t have asked,” she snapped, nerves rapidly unraveling.
On top the corner desk, she happened to see a neatly folded stack of clothes. Her clothes. Oh God. There was something wrong with this scenario. There was something wrong with her! She felt clammy, nauseated. Cold sweat beaded her upper lip. She unconsciously ran her tongue over it and caught Reese’s eyes following the motion. Eyes so much like Tristan’s, only not. The color and shape were the same but Kady had always thought Reese’s eyes lacked something she couldn’t define.
While he continued his silent perusal, she squirmed under his unwavering gaze and drew the sheet up to her chin. She wanted to ask him a million questions but didn’t want to appear out of her mind. Only a lunatic or someone with dementia or a head injury would have zero recollection of what took place only hours earlier.
“You remember anything?”
“What?” she murmured, distracted.
“Remember. Anything.” It didn’t escape her notice that he’d put a hard emphasis on the word anything.
Like Aladdin rubbing the magic lantern to summon the genie, Kady began rubbing her forehead trying to summon a memory. “I—I’m not sure.”
Reese seemed relieved by her answer. She thought she’d detected a slight tension in his body when he’d asked her the question. There was no evidence of it anymore, however.
“My phone,” she blurted, eyes darting wildly about as panic set in. “Where is it?”
Lifting an ass cheek, he pulled her phone out of his back pocket and tossed it to her.
Kady frantically scrolled through her messages. No text from Tristan. Shit. Did she imagine it? She had to find him. Talk to him. Momentarily forgetting her state of undress, she was about to jump out of bed when she was stopped cold by a stinging soreness between her thighs.
What the—?
Reaching down, she felt a sticky wetness coat her fingers.
Was that—?
She brought her hand up to her lap, discreetly glancing under the sheet and gasping inwardly at the discovery. It couldn’t be. Her period wasn’t due for another two weeks.
Kady scissored her legs together as a sense of foreboding encompassed her. She could no longer ignore the pain in her breasts. They felt bruised, the nipples raw and swollen. What happened? Why couldn’t she remember anything after leaving biology this morning? It was as if a chunk of time had fallen into a black abyss, and the harder she tried to concentrate, the fuzzier things became. Trying to knock the memories out of her head, she began pounding it with her fist. Come on, come on.
Reese pushed to his feet and stalked slowly toward her, narrowed eyes studying her like a predator assessing prey. “Something come to you?” His tone was casual but his posture held that same anxious tension from before.
Kady reluctantly shook her head.
With an expression of vague smugness on his handsome face, he stood staring down at her, one hip thrust out, thumbs hooked in the front pockets of his ripped designer jeans. If he was attempting to ape James Dean, he was actually doing a pretty good job of it. But then, Reese Cleary was cocky like that.
He idly fingered a Starbucks cup on the bedside table. With a cryptic curl of his lips he remarked, “You didn’t finish your mocha frap. I know it’s your favorite.”
“Tell me what happened here, Reese.”
Instead of answering, he reached for a lock of her hair. Fighting the repulsion to pull back, Kady stayed still as a statue despite her trembling. She needed to hear him say it. Needed Reese to confirm what she already suspected. What she somehow knew. And greatly feared.
Seeming mesmerized by the texture and color, he continued rubbing the silky silver strands between his fingers, his gray eyes dilated and glazed. “Like a fusion of moon glow and white gold dipped in diamond dust,” he murmured, lost in a musing.
Kady was in no mood to listen to Reese Cleary wax poetic. It was creepy enough she’d received scribblings from him touting her virtues. Virtues meaning physical attributes. There was nothing wrong with a jock composing love poems but his were inappropriate and unwelcomed. Like his attention.
“Tell me,” she screeched.
As if the reason were so obvious a child could’ve figured it out, he expelled an exaggerated sigh. “Kady, Kady, Kady… Don’t you know that all t
his was inevitable?”
The knot of dread that was lodged in the pit of her stomach pulled tighter. She suddenly felt like vomiting. “No!” she denied on a hiss, slapping his hand away. “No, I want you to tell me what happened, damn you.”
Reese Cleary regarded her a moment longer. Before she could react he’d already sat down on the bed beside her and grasped her jaw. His grip was inescapable.
“What happened, Beautiful…” He leaned in as if to kiss her, the unmistakable odor of alcohol lingering on his breath. “Is that I’ve always wanted you, and now at long last…” His blasé shrug told her to fill in the blank.
Unable to form words, she could only stare at him, her face registering horror, her body shaking like a leaf in a windstorm. With an ugly chuckle he released her and stood up. Pulling out his phone he checked the screen. An hour and twenty minutes. That was all the time he’d had with her. Good thing he made sure to make every moment count.
“Say cheese.” He took Kady’s picture, to her utter outrage.
Swiping the plastic cup off the table, Reese Cleary started for the door. Halfway there he stopped, looked back over his shoulder, and canted a sly, twisted smile at his brother’s fiancée in a silent crow of victory.
Tristan choked back the rise of bile.
Kady’s recounting of what took place in his college dorm room eleven years ago left him fighting for oxygen, his chest rising and falling like a bellows.
Reese. His fraternal twin. Doing something so despicable. So monstrous. It was fucking unimaginable! If it’d been anyone else who’d told him that, he never would’ve believed them. Reese. A sexual predator.
Kady was still curled up like an Armadillo but now had the added layer of protection of Tristan’s arms around her. He’d tucked her head under his chin and was hugging her fiercely to his chest, trying to assimilate what had happened to her. His expression was an amalgam of shock, rage, remorse. Oh God, the remorse.
“I can’t believe I didn’t see it. See Reese’s obsession with you.”
“He was your brother. There was no reason for you to suspect something like that. You loved him. And despite what he did, I know he loved you, too.”
FATHER: Men of the Cloth - Tristan (Forbidden Priest Romance 1) Page 19