“Sorry,” I said. “But don’t leave.”
“Okay,” he said. He wrapped his arms around me. “So, then, if that’s not the reason, why don’t you like this relationship between the three of us?”
I sagged in his arms. “It’s hard watching the two of you be hurt when I’m with the other one. I love you both, I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Well, maybe we’re being overly sensitive.” He kissed me. “I’m glad you don’t want me to leave.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck. I yawned.
“I don’t know about Naelen,” he said, “but I think, for me anyway, if I have a little time to adjust, I can be completely okay with it.”
“Really?” I made a face. Did I want him completely okay with it?
He nodded. “Yeah. Anything else bothering you?”
I toyed with the end of my shirt. “I guess I just feel… it doesn’t feel right to me. I’m not the kind of girl who would do this. It feels selfish and… and wrong.”
He kissed my forehead. “Shh. If you were any of those things, you wouldn’t have two men completely devoted to you. You’re a good person, Clarke.”
I yawned.
He chuckled. “You tired?”
“Really tired,” I muttered. “I think not getting good sleep the past couple of nights is catching up with me.”
He pulled me close. “I’ll just hold you while you sleep, then, okay?”
“You sure?” I yawned again.
“Mmm,” he said. “I’m not going anywhere. We have lots of nights ahead of us.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
When I woke up the next morning, Logan was sitting on the floor, resting his back against the wardrobe. He was stone.
I let out a little cry and went to him right away. Had Cunningham’s compulsion finally worn off? Was Logan going to be stone all the time now? I cupped his stone face in my hands. “Logan, are you in there?”
He moved. His shoulder twitched. Then one of his wings.
I stepped back. It was a little bit of a process, watching a gargoyle change from stone to life. It didn’t happen all at once, but one body part at a time.
But within five minutes, Logan was shaking himself. He grinned at me. “I figured out how to do it at will. It’s like sort of reversing the thing that Cunningham taught me to do when he compelled me.”
“Oh,” I said.
He stood up and stretched. “Man, I feel great. That was awesome.”
I laughed a little. “So, it’s a good thing to be stone?”
“You weren’t the only person who needed sleep,” he said, kissing me. “Oh, hey, I noticed something on the back of the wardrobe. After you fell asleep last night, I was bored to tears, and I did some exploring. Look.” He scooted the wardrobe out.
There, on the back were rows and rows of tick marks gouged into the wood.
“Whoa,” I said. “What do you think that’s all about?”
“If someone was held prisoner in this room, maybe they were marking off the days that they’d been kept captive,” said Logan.
“Yeah, that makes sense. People do that in jail and things.”
He went over and picked up my monocle. “I played with this some more too. I can’t figure out a damned thing about it.”
I took it from him, put it up to my eye and looked around the room. Didn’t do anything. I dropped it in my bag. “It’s probably worthless. I don’t know how trustworthy Dasher really was.”
“Yeah, never trust a reindeer,” laughed Logan.
“Well, I mean, she wasn’t always a reindeer,” I said. “She was this ancient spirit. It was a whole big thing. But it’s not important now.”
He grinned down at me. “I’m glad we talked last night. I really am.”
I grinned too. “You know what? I am too.”
“So, I helped a little?”
“Yeah, definitely.”
He kissed me.
I clung to him. “I love you, Logan Gray,” I whispered.
“And I love you, Clarke Gannon,” he said, his voice a low, deep rumble.
* * *
I was in the shower when I heard the door open.
I froze, hot water pouring down all over me, and kicked myself, because—yet again—here I was without my bow and arrows. However, I did have my talisman around my neck. It was heavy against my naked chest, so I didn’t need to touch it with my fingers.
I didn’t want to pull back the curtain and give myself away, so I just stood there, tense and ready, pulling all the magic I could gather together from the talisman, ready to thrust it all at whoever was out there, should they prove to be a threat.
The door shut softly.
My heart pounded.
“Clarke?”
I yanked the shower curtain aside. “Naelen, what the hell is your problem? It’s like you can’t knock to save your damned life.”
“Sorry,” he said, tugging his shirt over his head. Now he was only wearing his boxers. His chest was bare and rippling and gorgeous.
“What are you doing?” I demanded.
“Getting in the shower with you.” He pushed his boxers down, and he was naked.
I tugged the shower curtain closed.
He pulled it open and climbed in behind me.
Now we were both naked together in the shower, inches apart. The hot water streaming over my body made my skin slick and slippery and my heart was still pounding.
He looked me over, his gaze searing.
I swallowed. “You know, maybe I don’t want you in the shower with me.”
“Sure you do.”
I stuck a finger in his face. “You think that you know me better than I know myself, but you don’t, you know? You’re just being a cocky bastard.”
“You left the room with Logan, therefore it’s my night, therefore I’m well within my rights to brace you up against the shower wall and shove my—”
“But you don’t ask,” I said. “You just do.”
He reached out and caressed me. “Let’s not talk,” he said in a dark voice.
I slapped him away. “I was ready to blast you with magic. We really need to have a boundary discussion.”
“No, we don’t.” And he was kissing me.
God, his lips were sweet. And the feeling of his bare skin against mine in the warm, wet air of the shower was very, very nice. I let out a little sigh.
He took this as assent, thrusting his fingers between my legs.
I let out air in a whoosh. “Naelen…”
“Shh.”
I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate. My voice came out raspy. “You don’t have to prove anything, you know.”
His tongue traced the shell of my ear. “The only thing I want you saying right now is who you belong to.”
Tremors went through me. I was turned on. Being claimed by him turned me on. His body turned me on. His hands and mouth turned me on. But he couldn’t just ambush me all the time. I needed to be allowed to say no to all of this, or it was too much like what Cunningham had forced us to do. And honestly, Naelen seemed just as out of control now as he had then—only he was happier about it. “Naelen,” I whispered. “Of course I’m yours. But you don’t need to shower with me to prove that.”
“Sure I do,” he muttered, and his hands went under my ass and lifted me. He wrapped my legs around his waist and pressed me into the sleek wall of the shower.
That turned me on even more. I was torn between wanting him and my principles. “You can’t just—”
His fingers between my legs.
“You need to ask,” I groaned.
“Ask, huh?” He arched an eyebrow. “Do you want me?”
I groaned again, half in pleasure, half in annoyance.
“Are you mine?” he breathed.
And damn it, we were so close, and he was so attractive, and I was so turned on. “Yes,” I gasped. “Yes, yes.” The word just kept coming out of my mouth. “Yes, yes, yesyesyes, yes.” On and on it went and
over and over I said it. Until we were erupting against each other as the water sprayed and everything was bliss.
When it was over, I tried to catch my breath and stay upright. My legs were trembling and my whole body felt tender in the most pleasant of ways.
Naelen kissed me again. “Mine,” he whispered.
I put a hand on his chest. “Seriously, though. We need to have a talk.”
“Whatever.” He tugged the shower curtain aside and got out. “You loved that, and don’t deny it.”
“I just think—”
“I couldn’t help it.” He picked up a towel and wrapped it around his waist. Now that he was out of the shower, there were little droplets of water clinging to his tawny skin, clinging to every dip and swell of him. “I could hardly sleep last night, just knowing you and Logan were together. It was driving me crazy. It doesn’t always drive me crazy, but last night, it did.”
I turned off the shower. “Logan and I didn’t even have sex last night.”
“What?” He pulled the shower curtain out of the way completely. “Why not?”
I reached out my hand. “Can I have a towel?”
He handed me one.
I wrapped myself in it. “I don’t know. It just… I was tired. It wasn’t a big deal. We had a really good talk last night, and I think if you and I had a talk like that—”
“You shouldn’t do that,” he said. “You shouldn’t flake out on him like that. I mean, fair’s fair, Clarke. It was his night.”
I glared at him. “You know what’s not fair is you saying that to me.”
“Sorry,” he said, “but you shut him down, and what was he supposed to say about it?”
“It wasn’t like that. He suggested it.”
“He did?”
“You know what? Just get out of the bathroom, okay? I never asked you to come in here in the first place.” I pointed at the door.
He shrugged at me. And then left.
* * *
“So, did you leave any hot water?” said Logan when he came into the breakfast room. Naelen and I were already in there, but I wasn’t speaking to him yet.
“Didn’t you take a shower yet?” said Naelen.
“Yeah, thanks for contaminating the bathroom,” Logan muttered.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” said Naelen, picking up a slice of bacon. The breakfast was different that morning. Instead of biscuits, there were grits. “We’ve both been rotating out of her bed. I guess that’s contaminated too.”
“You’re being a little harsh,” I said to Logan. “I thought that we were cool.”
“Oh, yeah, we’re fine.” He sat down at the table. He still looked annoyed. “I just don’t see why you can’t keep your hands off her for more than a couple hours.”
Naelen raised his eyebrows. “You know, I’m sorry about the shower, but considering the things that we have all done together—”
“Stop,” I said.
Naelen popped the bacon in his mouth and chewed. He swallowed. “All I’m saying is that being prissy about using that shower, just because I nailed you in it—”
“Nailed me?” I gaped at him. “Do you ever think before you speak?”
“Not typically,” said Naelen. He rubbed his forehead.
“A little restraint,” said Logan. “That’s all I’m saying.”
Naelen studied his food. “I think you’re just pissed because you didn’t take advantage of your night, but don’t blame me. I’m following the rules.”
Logan turned to me, nostrils flaring. “You report to him on what we do?”
“No,” I said. “I mean, not usually. I was only trying to tell him that he didn’t need to act like he needed to mark his territory with me all the time. That there was no need to worry, that…”
“That what?” said Logan. He glared at Naelen. “Does it bother you that I’m having sex with her?”
Naelen dug into his grits. He shoved them in his mouth and didn’t answer.
“Because,” said Logan, “I want to point out that it was basically your idea, this whole arrangement.”
“It was?” I said.
Naelen swallowed the grits. “It seemed like the best solution I could think of to a less-than-perfect situation. Does it bother me that you screw her? Yes. Doesn’t it bother you?”
Logan went over to the buffet table. He picked up a plate and began loading it with home fries. That was another different aspect of the breakfast. “I’m trying to get to a point where it doesn’t bother me.”
“Wait a second,” I said. “Logan, you said that you were okay with this last night.”
“No.” He slammed his plate onto the table. “What I said was that if you gave me some time, I could become okay with it.”
“Oh,” I said in a quiet voice. I picked up my coffee and held it up to my mouth. It was too hot to actually drink. I tried to take a sip, but it burned my lips. I set it back down again.
Naelen shoveled more grits into his mouth.
Logan began attacking his home fries with his fork.
“Look,” I said, “I know this is hard for all of us.”
“All of us?” said Naelen with a smirk. “How is it hard for you?”
“Well, I don’t like being in the middle of you guys,” I said. “I don’t like that what I do bothers you both. I don’t want you to feel that way.”
“Oh, yes, you’re just a bleeding heard for all that.” Naelen was sarcastic. “It’s so tough having to sleep with two men. Poor you.”
I turned on him. “You know what’s not making it easy either? You being all over me all the time. Logan’s right, you can’t handle it if you’re not putting your hands all over me every two hours.”
“Yeah, and you hate that,” said Naelen. “I can tell by the all little noises you make while I’m doing it.”
“Hey,” said Logan. “Why don’t you listen to her, huh?”
“Oh, of course, because anything to keep me away from her, right?” said Naelen.
“Stop it,” I said. “Both of you, just stop.”
They went back to their breakfast, but both of them had stony expressions on their faces.
“I guess I’m still trying to recover,” I said.
Logan looked up. “I thought you said that Cunningham didn’t do anything when he took you away from us.”
“He didn’t,” I said. “But that doesn’t mean he wasn’t doing things to all of us the whole time.”
“What do you mean by that?” said Naelen.
“He… he raped us, all of us. He just used my body to do it to you and your bodies to do it to me.”
Logan set down his fork.
Naelen choked. “That’s not true.”
I picked up my coffee again. Still too hot to drink. I curled my fingers around it and held it close anyway.
“Clarke, take it back,” said Naelen.
“I can’t. That’s what happened.”
“Whatever he made us do,” said Naelen, “he didn’t… I mean, you wanted us. We wanted you. We didn’t want it like that, but it wasn’t… what you said.”
I took another scalding sip of coffee.
Logan cleared his throat. “Maybe we should both just give her some time without either of us.”
Naelen looked at me. “Is that what you want?” he said quietly.
I didn’t say anything.
“Good morning!”
We all looked up to see that Riley was standing in the doorway to the breakfast room.
“Riley,” said Naelen. “You’re up early for a change.”
“Oh, yeah, just thought I’d get up and at ‘em.” Riley smiled at all of us. “What are you all talking about?”
“Nothing,” I said.
“Nothing at all,” said Logan. “How’d you sleep, Riley?”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Later on, when we were searching through boxes again, I decided I’d talk to Riley about some of the strange stuff that had been going on lately. I went over to where h
e was going through a pile of gem-encrusted tiaras—why his father had them, I had no idea. “Hey Riley,” I said.
He barely looked up. “Any luck finding the cup?”
“Nope,” I said. “Still looking for that. Any more problems with your brother?”
“We don’t even know if it was my brother,” said Riley.
“Who’s in the attic?” I said.
He set down the tiara he was holding and gave me a funny look. “No one’s in the attic.”
“Really?” I said. “You sure about that?”
“Positive. There’s no one in the house except us and the gargoyles now that Calliope and Fiona are gone,” he said.
“Well, that’s strange,” I said. “Because I could swear that I keep hearing someone up there,” I said.
“What do you mean?”
“Night after night I hear someone walking around right above my bedroom. Someone’s up there.”
He shrugged. “It’s an old house. You’re hearing noises that sound like footsteps, but I promise you, it’s only the house settling.”
I knew it wasn’t the house settling, but I decided to let that go for a moment. I tried a different line of questioning. “Where do the gargoyles eat supper?”
“In the kitchen. Why?”
“They don’t take their supper up to our wing?” I said. “Up on the top floor of the house?”
He furrowed his brow. “Why are you asking me this?”
“Do they or don’t they?”
“If you think that they did,” he said, “then they must have done that. Is that what you’re trying to say? Did you see some gargoyles in your wing with food?”
“With platters of it,” I said. “I can’t for the life of me figure why they would walk up so many flights of stairs with all that food when they could eat in the kitchen.”
“Well, I don’t know either, but if that’s what they wanted to do.” He shrugged. “I don’t require them to eat in the kitchen or anything.”
I sighed. “Come on, Riley. You and I both know that someone is up in that attic. The gargoyles were taking that person food. We also found a room up there, and there were more gouge marks on the door. Did they keep your sister up there at some point? Or maybe your brother?”
Riley stiffened. He let out a noisy breath. “I have to warn you, Clarke. You’re trying my patience. There’s no one in the attic, and no one has been locked up in a room. I explained this to you before.”
Ashes (The Slayer Chronicles Book 3) Page 11