by Blue Saffire
Heather gives me the first smile I’ve seen on her face in,—I don’t know how long. She reaches out to mess the top of my hair. It’s something I only let her do. I hate people fucking with my hair.
“I got it,” she says, and my heart squeezes in my chest.
It’s that funny feeling again. I ignore it like before. I have no idea what it is. I just know that when we leave this backyard. Heather will be able to use that star and kick someone’s ass.
Heather
I wish things were as easy as Braxton made me feel they are. I wish I could beat Ernest up and get him to leave me and my family alone. Braxton only helped me to have hope that someday, I’ll be big enough to take care of Ernest on my own.
I only took the star because I was thinking about using it on Ernest so he can never hurt my dad. The closer it has come to my father’s return, the more Ernest has been making threats. I just thought…I don’t know what I thought.
I just know, having the ninja star in my pocket makes me feel a whole lot safer. I’ve been needing something to hold onto. Spending time with Braxton, in my dad’s backyard helped a lot.
I heard Ernest telling Mom she should get full custody of me. I swear, I almost broke down and told mom right then. I want to go live with my dad, but it looks like Ernest is going to try to block that anyway he can.
‘Rob’s life is just too unstable.’ I heard him tell Mom.
There’s no way I’m staying here. I need to go live with my dad. I have to figure out a way to get my dad to let me stay with him. I can’t tell him what’s been going on, but I have to find a way to get out of here.
Even if I wasn’t terrified of what Ernest might do, I’m too embarrassed to tell anyone now. I feel so ashamed and dirty. I keep thinking, there had to be something I could’ve done to stop this from happening.
Yet, I know it can get worse. I have to stop him, before he takes things any further. He promised that he would. It’s why I crept into Brax’s room to take one of his stars. My time is running out. Just maybe I can defend myself.
I’ve had a small break from Ernest’s attention in the last week. Mom has been sick with the flu or something. I’ve never been happier to see her sick. She hasn’t been able to work her shifts at the hospital.
I’ve seen how angry mom being home has made Ernest. He glares at me, when she isn’t looking. Although, I think I see something else in his eyes. I haven’t been able to figure it out. Yet, something about that look gave me the courage to take Braxton’s star.
I saw that look this morning, when Mom announced she was going back to work and my dad would be back tomorrow. A part of me has never feared for my safety more, but another part of me is too scared to fight. Still, something is telling me that this is my time. I have to fight now.
After mom’s announcement, I asked permission to hang out at Bean’s house. I figured I could try to spend the night and not have to return before tomorrow, when Dad’s back. Unfortunately, Ernest was on to me.
“I’ll take you over there and pick you up after work,” he answered for Mom.
“I thought I could sleepover,” I muttered.
“Who’s going to take care of your kitten,” he grumbled.
“Oh, Honey, it was so sweet of Ernest to get you Whiskers. I think it would be best if you come home and take care of him,” Mom nods.
“I can take him with me,” I tried.
I used to want a kitten. I had asked Mom for one before. Whiskers was one of Ernest’s gifts after our secret time. I hate looking at that kitten, but if it means I get to spend the night at Bean’s I’ll take it with me.
“I told you already that you shouldn’t be taking him all over the place. Now, we’re letting you go over there to play. God knows why. You’ll come home, when I get off work and take care of your own cat,” Ernest snaps.
“I’ll leave you some of your favorite for dinner, spaghetti. You and Ernest can have it for dinner. Besides, Whiskers will miss you,” Mom says, while fingering through her tablet.
Most likely shopping and totally missing what’s going on in the room, right in front of her. Mom’s been talking about the wedding again. Ernest just nods, as she goes on and on.
I was so mad, I pushed my food away and stormed out of the kitchen. I thought it couldn’t get any worse than breakfast. I was so wrong.
When Ernest drove me over to Bean’s, he kept his hand on my thigh the entire way. My skin felt like it was crawling under my sweats. Every time I tried to move away, he would just squeeze tighter.
“Remember, you keep your mouth shut or I’ll make sure your dad disappears. If you tell and he comes after me, I’ll make sure he rots somewhere in the desert,” Ernest warned, when pulling up to Bean’s.
“I haven’t said anything,” I whispered.
“Good, keep it that way. I’ll see you later,” he purred with that stupid grin on his face that I hate so much.
I got out of the car and started to go to Bean’s, but I saw Aunt Cass walking into the house ahead of me. I turned in the other direction quickly, ending up at the Black house. I still know better than to be within ten feet of Aunt Cassy.
I found Noah and Bean watching TV. I sat quietly to join them. My mind was spinning in circles, when I remembered Braxton’s stars. There just small enough to hide and hold in my hand, but big enough to hurt someone if you tried.
I knew Braxton would be pissed that I took it. I just hoped he wouldn’t notice right away. Now, I’m glad he did. Brax’s a good fighter. It helped to practice with him. At least, it helped to make me feel better.
I tighten into a ball in the center of the bed. I have the star pressed flat against my palm in between my thighs. I don’t know what I plan to do, I just feel like I have to do something.
One more night, I will survive one more night. Then Dad will be home. When dad is home, I’ll be safe. Ernest won’t be able to keep me with him and Mom all the time. I’ll forget all the gross stuff and never have to come back here. My Dad will make me safe, he has to.
The bed dips and I squeeze my eyes shut. I fight back a whimper, when Ernest squeezes my breast over my shirt. He smells of alcohol and musty smoke.
“Your mother has a great ass, but she doesn’t have half of your rack,” he breathes in my ear.
He reaches for the waistband of my pants and something snaps inside me. I can’t let this happen. All I hear in my head is Braxton’s voice.
‘Be smart Heather, we’re small, but we can fuck shit up. Be smart, surprise is our friend.’ He coached, in my father’s backyard.
I take a deep breath and allow Ernest to remove my pants. I know I have to attack before he tries to get on top of me, but I need him distracted. I roll to my back, still holding the star out of sight.
That’s when I see he is already naked. I panic and kick out. Hitting him right between the legs. I lash out with the star, hoping to slice his throat, but my short arms miss, as he doubles over in pain. Instead, I only slash his chest.
I curse myself for panicking. Braxton had shown me how to toss the star. I should’ve tossed it, not try to use it like a knife.
“Fuck,” Ernest hisses out.
I don’t waste any time, I jump from the bed, rushing for the door. Only, I just don’t move fast enough. The one time I need to be fast and my legs fail me.
I feel the pain bite through my scalp, as Ernest snatches a hand full of my hair, tugging me back. That’s the last thing I remember, because in the next move, I’m slammed against the floor and I blackout.
Chapter 6
Her or Me
Heather
“Let her go with her father. I want her out of my house. She’s ungrateful and spoiled,” I hear, as Ernest bellows down the hall.
As soon as Mom got home from her shift, Ernest started telling lies on me. I’ve been holding my breath, as he shouts his crap. If only my mom knew the truth.
“Can’t this wait until I get some sleep,” I hear Mom sigh.
“No, I
want her gone. Do you see my chest?” he roars.
“Oh, my God, what happened?” Mom gasps.
“You’re not fucking listening to me. That kid has it out for me. I went into the kitchen for something to eat. She left the damn cat’s cage in the middle of the floor, I tripped over it with a knife in my hand,” Ernest spews.
I ball my fists, as I listen to the crap he’s telling my mom. I can feel the tears burning my eyes. I bite down on my lip to keep from yelling out the truth.
“Honey, I’m sure she didn’t do it on purpose,” Mom says, trying to calm him down.
“It’s her or me, Deb. I know for sure you don’t want to raise our baby on your own,” he snaps.
My brows furrow. I’m confused. Although, I think my excitement outweighs my confusion. If he wants me gone, I’m more than willing to go. I don’t even care that he’s lying on me.
“What am I supposed to do?” Mom yells back. “That’s my daughter.”
“I’m going to be your husband. You have to think about our baby. She can go live with her father. I want her gone. She talks back when you’re not here, she leaves shit around for me to trip on all of the time. What kind of example is that for our child,” Ernest demands.
“Are we even really getting married?” I hear mom ask in a small voice.
There’s a short pause, where I don’t hear anything. For a moment, I think he’s going to tell mom, no. I get excited, we can both get out of here. Then, I hear Ernest’s voice pouring out promises.
“Of course we are. You’re having my baby now. We need to set some roots down in our relationship. It’s time you quit your job, but we can’t start our new lives with Heather here making waves,” he replies. “I’ve tried, Baby. It’s just not working.”
“I…I don’t know,” Mom murmurs.
“Then, we can call it all off,” Ernest says harshly.
“No, no, maybe once the baby is here she’ll come around,” Mom says frantically.
“Let her stay with her father. Maybe that’ll show her how good she has it here,” Ernest grumbles.
“Okay, okay, a little time with Rob. Then, we’ll see how things go,” Mom says.
“Whatever, I have a meeting. Get some rest, but I want her gone when I get home,” he says.
I can hear his heavy footfalls heading in my direction. My chest starts to heave. I back away from the door just as Ernest pushes it open.
His dark eyes fall on me. I feel like I’m standing in a bucket of ice. I’m surprised frost doesn’t come from my lips, when I breathe.
Ernest closes the door behind him. I’m frozen in place, as he moves towards me. Only able to ball my fists tighter. Ernest bends until we’re eye level.
“Never forget what will happen if you open your mouth. I’ll be watching. I’ll know if you tell and I’ll make everyone you love pay. Keep. Your. Mouth. Shut,” he drags out the last words.
I flinch when he reaches to stroke my hair, leaning in to kiss my forehead. One of the tears I’ve been holding spills onto my cheek. I hold my breath until he takes a step away from me.
“Don’t forget,” he says, with icy warning, before turning to leave the room.
I fall to my knees. Covering my mouth, I sob silently into my hands. I’ll be safe soon. I’ll be with my dad.
Chapter 7
Forever Bond
Braxton
“Hey, that’s Debbie’s car,” Ry says, as we ride our bikes up the block.
We’ve been out riding most of the day. Dad is home. Mom kicked us all out almost the moment he arrived. We all know not to go back into the house, until it gets dark.
I’m excited to see Heather. I was hoping she would come over today so we could spar some more. I know she’s going to want to spend time with her dad, but I’m hoping we can hang out later. She did good yesterday.
I stayed with her until I had to go home for dinner. I felt good when I left Heather yesterday. She’s tough, I was sure she could handle herself.
Although, as her mother’s car rides pass, I have a sinking feeling in my stomach. I can see something is wrong right away. I pedal after the car, as fast as my little legs will take me.
I can see through the glass that Heather has her head down. I just know something’s off. I stop at the curb, when Heather’s mom pulls into Uncle Rob’s driveway.
Something tells me to wait. When a confused looking Uncle Rob comes from the house, I feel like I’m watching a movie. Debbie gets out of the car and starts to tug bags from the back seat.
“She’s your problem now,” Debbie yells, as she tosses a bag at Rob.
“What the hell is your problem?” Rob demands. “Nothing you said on the phone made sense.”
“I’ve had enough. She’s ungrateful. I don’t need this around our new baby. Take her,” Debbie shouts throwing more bags.
Rob grabs Debbie by the arm and tugs her away from Heather and the car. When he pulls her out of ear shot, I can’t hear what’s being said. Heather stands outside the car looking down at her shoes.
“No, Rob, no,” Debbie gets louder. “I asked her if there was a problem. She said, no. She keeps leaving her things around and Ernest has hurt himself repeatedly, tripping over her shit. First a skateboard, this time it was the cage to her kitten.
“He tripped with a knife in his hand in our kitchen. He has a cut across his chest. I can’t. Ernest and I are getting married, we have a baby on the way now. Enough,” Debbie yells.
Uncle Rob narrows his eyes at her. “Heather,” he calls and Heather runs over to him.
Uncle Rob bends, catching her in his arms, as she starts to sob. I watch the mix of emotions that cover his face. Oh, shit, I think to myself. Uncle Rob is going to go postal.
He says something to Heather, but she shakes her head. I wish I could hear them. Debbie places her hands on her hips, starting to ranting again.
“Enough,” Uncle Rob snarls, as he stands to his full height. “Do what you need to do, Debbie. Heather will be fine here with me.”
Rob looks like he wants to say a hell of a lot more, but he rolls his lips, cutting off his words. Debbie goes back to her car, pulling out the rest of Heather’s things. She places them in the driveway.
Rob shakes his head in disbelief. He bends to kiss the top of Heather’s head, before storming over to have a few more words with Debbie. That’s when Heather’s eyes lock on mine and I know.
I know she had to fight, and now, I have a pretty good idea who. I nod at her, silently making my promise again. When I get big, I’m going to fuck someone up over Heather.
I can’t wait until I get big.
Heather
I didn’t think she would really do it. My mom packed me up and dumped me off here at my dad’s. She wouldn’t even look at me, which tells me she knows Ernest is a liar.
Yeah, she asked why I tried to hurt Ernest? Why I wasn’t nicer to him? I almost told her.
I almost told her that I don’t know how long I was passed out on the floor last night. I almost told her that I woke with a pool of blood between my legs. I almost told her that Ernest ordered me to clean myself and the floor. My head was pounding, but I did as I was told. I washed my sore body, cleaned the floor in the room, and curled into a ball in the bed.
I couldn’t stop shaking. I have no idea what happened to me, while I was knocked out. I just know Ernest looked worried and pissed off, until I started to sit up from the floor. He was fully clothed when I came to.
I almost told her all of that, but one look in her eyes and I could see how much she wanted to believe Ernest. So, I said nothing. I kept my mouth shut, remembering all of my family and friends that I’d be keeping safe. I held onto the fact that I’d be safe as well, with my dad.
All I know is I need my dad. My mother made her choice, her new family. It hurts so much and I still don’t understand it, but it happened. Mom turned her back on me.
“Are you sure you don’t have anything you want to tell me?” My father asks for the mi
llionth time, while we sit on the couch.
I shrug my shoulders. “There’s nothing to tell,” I murmur.
It’s partly true. I don’t even know what happened last night. I wish I did. I just don’t. Then there is a part of me that doesn’t think I want to know.
Dad narrows his eyes at me. “You know, if anyone ever does anything to hurt you, you can come to me,” he says slowly.
“Yes,” I nod.
“Heather,” Dad says, causing me to lift my head. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
“I had to leave Whiskers,” I reply. “I wanted to keep the kitten.”
It’s a lie, but it’s the best I’ve got. Dad’s shoulders seem to sag in relief. He nods his understanding. I can see him thinking, as he reaches to rub the back of his neck.
“Listen, I’ll talk to your mom and see if you can have the kitten. If not, I’ll get you a new one,” Dad offers.
I nod and lick my lips. I look over toward the window. I know Braxton is out there. I saw him watching my mom drop me off.
I have his star. I want to give it back. I want to thank him. I may not know what happened last night, but at least I know I put up a fight. I don’t know if I would’ve, had it not been for him.
Dad sighs beside me. “Go on, go play with your friends. Faith will be here soon to make us both dinner.”
I look to my dad. “I need to talk to her,” I say softly.
Dad’s brows draw in. “O—kay,” he says slowly.
I curl my fingers into my t-shirt. I haven’t stopped bleeding since last night. I’ve never had a period. I don’t know if I have one now. I’d just feel better talking to Faith about it.
“It’s girl stuff, Dad,” I murmur.
His face relaxes and he gives me a small smile. He nods his head, as if understanding. I can see some of the worry fall away.
“I like her dad,” I add.
“Yeah, I do too,” he gives me a small grin. “We’ll have to do something about that. It’s time you had a real family, Kiddo. I won’t be leaving you again.”