by Blue Saffire
No, alcohol is not what has my mind racing. It’s more like the hot, mind blowing sex and the thoughts of who I had it with. I’m still trying to catch my breath and let what just happened set in. Not to mention, the thoughts crying out in the back of my mind. I won’t let those ruin this night for me. I’ll deal with them later.
“You promised you wouldn’t think,” Brax murmurs as his fingertips make circles on my shoulder.
I run my fingers across his taunt abs. “I’m trying,” I chuckle.
Brax brushes a lock of hair out of my face, fingering the strands. I turn my head up to look at his face. A small smile touches his lips, as his eyes roam over the uncharacteristic change. I’d picked the wig, wanting to complete the look exactly as I would if…if I had the courage to show the world who I really am.
“What made you change your hair?” He asks, smoothing a hand over my cheek.
“It was a part of the look,” I shrug.
“Have you ever thought about growing your hair back? I know how much you loved it long,” he questions, watching my eyes for my response.
I look away, focusing my eyes on the ceiling. I’ve thought about growing my hair back a million times. I’m just not ready. Some people hide behind their hair, I choose to hide without it. I know I’m stronger now, but I don’t know if I’m ready.
I shrug. “It’s just hair.”
Braxton snorts. “Bullshit, don’t do that with me. I think you’re beautiful either way. I just think it’s time you start claiming shit back.”
“Claiming shit back? What are you talking about?” I slide my eyes back to his face.
“You’re so much stronger now, Heather. You’re not ten or seventeen anymore. You don’t have to hide. You should consider being you more often,” Braxton says softly, but pointedly.
I reach to push my fingers into the soft hairs of the wig. I think his words over. I don’t want to look too deeply into the box he’s suggesting I open up. I mean, I’ve already dig so far inside to find the strength to do this all tonight.
“I’m so proud of you, Heather. Tonight, you took so much of your power back. All I’m saying is, you don’t have to stop here,” Brax says, as if reading my mind.
I scoff. “I went to see my mother,” I say before I can stop myself. “She…she just doesn’t get it.”
Brax reaches to turn my face fully to his. His eyes narrow as he looks at me. I can see the questions floating in his head.
“Has he tried to contact you again? Did you run into him when you went to see her?” Braxton asks, with rage pouring off of him.
I sigh. “No, I have a sister. Amanda, she’s thirteen. I…I don’t think he’s doing the same things to her, but I think he may have hurt her. Her arm is broken. I went to my mother to ask her about it,” I huff out. “Little good did that do.”
“Say the word and I’ll make his ass disappear,” Braxton rasps out angrily.
I shake my head. “No, I won’t let you mess up your life for him.”
“Oh, Heather, I’m going to kill that piece of shit. It’s only a matter of when,” he says with determination.
I groan and bury my face into his chest, causing his arms to wrap around me. Brax is still so young, with his life ahead of him. I don’t need him to get into this mess. I don’t want him to. I’ll handle this my way.
“Let it go,” I sigh.
“Hey,” he says, lifting my face. “I made a promise and I plan to keep it. You said we would do it together. So, I’ve waited. I’ve waited for you to say the word. If you don’t think you can do this. I’ll take care of it.”
I yank my face back. “I’m going to handle it. This just can’t make it’s way back to our door,” I start.
“Do you think I don’t know that. I know who he’s connected to. I’ve been watching and waiting. Trust me, it’s not going to be a problem,” he reassures me.
This time I narrow my eyes on him. Brax can be so reckless, I can’t let him just run into this. It’s not one of our little pranks. I don’t know what he thinks he knows, but I won’t let him get hurt over me. I’m suddenly exhausted. I don’t want to ruin the night we just had with all of this. I shake my head clear.
“It’s still your birthday weekend. I don’t want to talk about this,” I blow out.
“We need to talk about it sometime,” he grumbles.
“Yeah, just not now,” I roll my eyes.
“Heather—”
“No, Brax, please,” I warn.
The room falls silent. I can feel him brooding. I reclaim my place on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. The rhythmic sound begins to lull me to sleep.
“I have one more wish,” Brax says, just before I drift off.
“Name it,” I mumble sleepily.
“Stay,” he says the simple word.
I wrinkle my tired brows. “Huh?”
“Don’t run on me, Heather. When the sunrises, I don’t want things to go back to the way they were. Stay. No more pretending,” he says in almost a plea.
I’m shocked by the fear that grips me. My exhausted brain tries to catch up to all that has transpired. Braxton’s age, my insecurities, my fear,—the truth that’s screaming at my subconscious, demanding to stop being ignored,—all of it threatens to cut my air off.
I feel lame for the words I let slip out of my mouth. “Let’s just take the weekend as it comes. After all, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.”
Braxton
I don’t reply to her words. After a few minutes the weight of her body tells me she’s passed out. Good, she won’t see the devastation in my eyes. Tonight was amazing. We made love, we connected. I know we did.
I can’t say I didn’t know Heather would run on me. I just thought if I asked,— if I tried, she would prove me wrong. I guess I just know Heather too well for my own good.
We have this weekend though. I plan to make the best of that. I grin to myself, as I think of getting her drunk enough to marry me in the next two days. That would be a task in itself. Heather holds her own.
That smile falls away as I think of pushing inside her with no barrier to break. I ache to ask her if she slept with someone other than me. I know with everything I am that I already know the answer. I have a new level of love and respect for Heather. She allowed me to be the one, because of that I could never force anything on her.
My thoughts shift, I look down at the sleeping angel on my chest. I huff out a breath. She still sees me as a baby. I know she does. Rage fills me as I think if her stepfather. I know she doesn’t want me involved because she still sees me as a kid.
“Patience, B,” I mutter to myself. “This woman is going to teach you patience.”
Chapter 20
Brotherly Love
Heather
I wake to the feel of heat and my own perspiration. Slowly, I open my lids, letting my senses come to me. I can feel the rise and fall of the warm chest beneath me. My sore body and the smooth skin plastered to my chest brings back memories of last night.
I close my eyes back. My mind starts to race, again, I don’t go near the thoughts that will cripple me. It’s like my brain is protecting itself until the right time, a time when I’m alone and I can go there.
Instead, I skip to the other glaring thoughts. What have you done? Last night was amazing, but it should never have happened. I don’t even know what I was thinking.
My heart squeezes in my chest, I’m so conflicted about what I feel. Braxton’s last words to me before I drifted off echo in my head, one in particular resounding the loudest.
Stay.
How can such a small word paralyze me where I lay? Had he said it to me this morning I surely would’ve run as fast as my legs would take me. There are so many things that make this wrong. Brax is like family.
You don’t sleep with family.
Yeah, I know this, which is why this is so wrong. Braxton can be impulsive and hotheaded. He’s so young. I’m twenty-five, Brax is just turning twenty-one. He and
Ry live like two college bachelors in their condo. I’m so serious, they have a huge pool table and video games for furniture.
I mean, granted, Brax and Ry have their own place. Something I’ve yet to be able to say for myself. I talked to my dad last week about me moving out and getting my own place. He and Faith have begun to pry, when it comes to my social life. Not that I have one, but that’s their point. Dad feels I should hang out more, at least more than tagging along with the guys to bars.
It’s cute. Dad doesn’t think I can meet a nice girl in the places the guys frequent. My dad actually gave me a list of gay bars to check out. It’s getting harder to not come out and tell my dad the truth. I know he worries about my happiness.
He and Faith have tried to send me on blind dates a time or two as well. They mean well. I wonder what they would think if I came home with a boyfriend, four years younger than me.
I groan. My dad would probably kill me. The guys are like his own sons. Dad would be so pissed if he thought I’d hurt Braxton and I know I’d hurt Braxton. In the mist of my rambling thoughts, I hear a deep inhale over my head and freeze.
“I’m starving, maybe if I eat your pussy, you’ll stop thinking so much,” Brax murmurs.
I look up to see his eyes are still closed, but his large warm hand glides over my skin down to my backside. His rough palm sends tingles through my skin. His fingers squeeze gently, kneading my flesh. Unconsciously, I melt into him, my body heating and turning liquid.
“Maybe we should order room service. Pussy won’t fill your stomach.”
“But my cock will fill your pussy once I finish eating it,” he says, I can hear the smile in his voice.
“Whatever, I want food,” I mutter, lifting from his chest.
Braxton reaches to tug me back against him. Holding me to his chest, he reaches over for the room service menu. He kisses the top of my head, securing me to him with his free arm. I snuggle in, helping to flip through the little book he’s holding.
“Shit, I could eat a horse. Fuck this,” he tosses the menu aside, reaching for the phone.
I giggle as he tickles my side, when I reach for the menu. I look up at his face to see him giving me a pointed look. I glare back at him.
“Yes, can I have two plates of scrambled eggs with cheese, two orders of sausage, two orders of bacon. A stack of pancakes, an order of waffles, a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios with whole milk. Send a pitcher of orange juice and one of apple,” he says into the phone. “Oh, and an order of hash browns. Thanks.”
I smirk up at him, as he hangs up. “Well, was any of that for me?”
“What do you mean? I only ordered the cereal for me. I know how much you can eat after a night of drinking,” he teases.
“Bite me,” I laugh.
“Of course, was planning to,” he croons.
I move swiftly to jump from his arms and the bed. I rush from his room across the suite into my room. I can hear him giving chase. My blood pumps through my veins. I feel alive and dare I say…happy. I rush into the bathroom, sliding across the floor when inside, almost landing on my ass. I laugh so hard I forget about everything else that had been weighing on my mind.
Braxton saunters into the bathroom behind me. He moves to the toilet and relieves himself. I fold my arms over my chest, scowling at him. I’d planned on using the bathroom,—in private. He looks over his shoulder, winking at me.
“Really,” I huff.
“You know you’re enjoying the view of my ass,” he shakes his tight sexy buns.
I try not to smile, but can’t help it. I shake my head at him, turning to brush my teeth. While I’m swishing mouthwash in my mouth, Brax washes his hands in the other sink. He plucks my toothbrush from my hand, placing toothpaste on it, and moves to stand behind me.
One of his hands goes to my tummy, splaying against it. His eyes meet mine in the mirror. I can feel him growing against my ass. I lift a brow at him in our reflection, before bending to spit and rinse.
“Seriously? And do you mind?” I twist my lips at him.
He pulls the toothbrush from his mouth and skims my shoulder with his lips, his eyes remaining on mine in the mirror. I sigh internally and sag back into him. That feeling of safety taking over me.
“You’re going to run from me as soon as you get a chance. I’m just holding onto you while you let me,” he murmurs against my skin, sending a shiver through me.
I look away from him, not wanting to go there. I go to step away, but Braxton has other plans. He tosses the toothbrush on the counter, kissing his way across my back, from one shoulder to the other.
My back bows, his fingers tighten on my belly, holding me in place. My eyes flutter close, I have a hundred reasons on my lips why we shouldn’t do this again, but my body craves him. It responds to him without my permission. I have my ass pressed into is rock hard erection, ready to feel him deep inside me.
I want to burst into tears. While I love the way he makes me feel, I don’t think I could give myself to another like this. I don’t think I’ll ever feel this safe with anyone. The realization hits me like a sledge hammer.
I gasp from the internal awareness, but Brax groans,—thinking it’s from the slow lick he just trailed from the base of my spine, up to the nape of my neck. The actually gesture causes me to shiver and reach for the edge of the counter. I force myself to stay right here with him.
I can have this…just once more. If I never know a man’s touch again after this, at least, I can say that I enjoyed the most amazing touch ever. I know this to be true because I don’t just feel Brax’s touch on my skin, I feel him inside me,—in my soul, my heart, my mind. I feel him with all of me.
“Brax,” I breathe, when his lips travel over my left ribs.
“Heather,” he rasps, nudging my legs apart.
I look behind me to find him on his knees. He has that look of awe again. My cheeks heat, his eyes are locked on my dripping core. His tongue slides across his full bottom lip. He pushes a hand through the front of his copper locks.
“Every part of you is beautiful,” he says, his warm breath fanning my skin. “Tasting you is so amazing, I think my heart will stop right before my first lick each and every time.”
Clink.
There it is again. I’ve been hearing that sound since yesterday. I know it’s the sound of Brax chipping at my armor. Somehow, I have to figure out how to reinforce it and walk away. I just know that’s not going to happen in this moment.
My lips part and my eyes flutter close, while Braxton takes my swollen petals into his mouth. My legs spread wider of their own accord. I begin to rock my hips into his face, allowing the rhythm to take me away.
I force my brain to shutdown to everything other than him. Braxton’s touch is the only thing I allow to matter. I want this now, while I’m not full of alcohol. I want to know I can handle this in the light of day. Promises, wishes, and fairytale nights are no longer a part of the equation.
I want to know that I felt this, I want to know that I chose this moment for myself. I blink my eyes open as Braxton’s face pushes further into me. I find Brax eyes staring back at me. They’re not just looking back at me, they are relaying a message.
I’ve got you. This is for your pleasure. I can hear the words as if they have come from his very own throat.
His eyes blaze with determination. My knees grow weak as it all hits me. Brax’s strong hands go to my thighs, holding me up right, but he never stops devouring my center. My body quakes, I tear my eyes away to turn and brace myself against the sink.
I feel more than see him lift from his knees. Braxton makes sure to drag his body up against mine. I feel his pulsing length wedge between my cheeks. He dips his head to kiss my neck.
I hear the crinkle of a wrapper and direct my attention to the countertop. I have no idea where the foil packet between his fingers comes from. He followed me in here naked.
I’m still a little dazed, coming down from my climax, as he opens the packet, tossing
the wrapper onto the counter. It doesn’t take long for his hands to fall onto my hips. He tugs gently, pulling me back into him. I bend at the waist, my ass poking out in offering.
“Oh shit,” I groan, when he pushes into me.
“Fuck, I don’t want to rush this, but we don’t have much time before breakfast gets here. I just need to have you,” he says rawly.
I cling to the counter for dear life. “Oh, my God, Brax,” I purr, as he pounds into me from behind.
My mind threaten to shatter from the pleasure. Brax’s hand lands on my shoulder, guiding me to bounce on his shaft, as he thrusts into me. I turn to look back at where we’re connected. I gush at the sight, my eyes then bouncing up to his.
He is watching our connection as well. When those golden eyes rise to meet mine, my chest swells,. They’re filled with lust and so much desire. Yet, I can see it’s not enough. I know the feeling. I want…I need…I have to have more. He’s giving me long, deep strokes, but I burn to have more, to feel more.
Braxton reaches for one of the towels folded on a shelf just beside us. He snaps the towel to unfold it, then bands the cloth low on my hips. My cry fills the bathroom, loud and long.
“Holy fuck, Brax,” I whimper.
The towel now wrapped around me,—as well as, his hands and wrists,—provides him reins to guide my hips, as he pounds into me, hard. He’s also using the towel to protect my hips against the counter, as he slams into me. The sound of my ass slapping his pelvis fills the air along with my cries.
“That’s my girl, come on my cock. You feel so fucking good,” he hisses through his teeth.
Clink.
There it is again. I close my eyes against the hit I’ve just taken to my armor. My teeth chatter, my head falls back, I’m completely mesmerized. Braxton shifts behind me, rolling his hips, changing the feel and the angle.
“Don’t make me chase you,” he growls, but I can still hear the plea. “Stay, be mine. Don’t make us both suffer.”
“Brax,” I whimper, so close to promising him anything.
In this moment, I may even mean it. I suck my lip into my mouth to keep my mouth shut. I won’t make empty promises.