She felt inexplicably sad and empty.
Chapter Five
CHARLOTTE was shepherded into the inn and practically carried up the stairs, with Meredith, Judy, Mike, and Nick surrounding her. Brad followed close behind, trying to help as well.
“I feel absolutely terrible about this. I shouldn’t have allowed you to walk off down the beach all alone like that. I’m so sorry, Charlotte.”
Did Bradley Scott actually just apologize to her? She wished the cameras were rolling now. Perhaps she was hallucinating again. He rarely, if ever, acknowledged he was wrong about anything.
Charlotte managed to turn her head to meet his eye. “It wasn’t your fault, Brad. I shouldn’t have climbed up on those rocks. That was a totally dumb move. But I’m all right, honestly.”
“By the grace of God,” Charlotte heard Claire say. She stood at the top of the stairs, holding a pile of fluffy towels, a huge bathrobe, and a basket of fancy bath products. Charlotte wasn’t sure how she had gotten up there so quickly. The big inn must have a back stairway, she reasoned. Still, it seemed as if the housekeeper had magically appeared in a puff of smoke. Or rather, a puff of scented bath salts.
Claire led the group to Charlotte’s door and opened it for her. Thankfully, the parade ended there. Judy, Scott, and Mike clucked over her a bit and then went off to answer calls and text messages. Claire went into the room and set all her gifts in the bathroom. “You need a nice hot bath. Soak for a while. I’ll be back with some soup and a mug of that tea you favor.”
“That sounds perfect, Claire. Thank you,” Charlotte said.
Only Meredith remained. “I’d better stay,” she said. “I’ll wait here while you’re in the tub. Just in case.”
“In case of what? I’m not going to drown in there. I think I’ve proved my unsinkability today.” Charlotte nearly laughed at the idea. She started to strip off her wet clothes, but really wanted some privacy.
“You might feel dizzy, or even faint. You look very pale. You must have low blood pressure or something.” Meredith grabbed her wrist.
Charlotte smiled, trying to reassure her. “I’m okay. I just look a wreck. Don’t worry.”
Meredith was not leaving easily, Charlotte realized, so she just gave up and went into the bathroom, firmly closing the door behind her.
When she caught sight of herself in the big oval mirror above the vanity, Charlotte wanted to scream. But she didn’t dare, knowing Meredith would break down the door, fearing the worst.
No wonder Colin Doyle didn’t recognize me, she thought, staring at herself in the mirror. I look like some sort of ocean-dwelling zombie from a sci-fi film.
She started running hot water into the big claw-foot tub and poured in some lavender-scented bath salts. Moments later, she sank into the deliciously warm water and finally felt the chill leave her bones.
Charlotte relaxed in the tub for a good, long while. As she washed her hair and dried herself off, she heard voices in her bedroom. She soon emerged wearing the long spa robe with another towel wrapped around her head.
Meredith and Judy stood waiting. Charlotte forced a smile, trying to keep her patience. She would have preferred her privacy right now. She didn’t want to take a meeting on her condition.
“How do you feel now? Any better?” Meredith sounded anxious and concerned.
Charlotte felt exhausted and she ached all over. She could have slept for a week. But she didn’t want to alarm Judy or sound like she was complaining.
“I feel a lot warmer and almost dry. I just need some sleep.”
“That’s good. But we think you should be examined by a doctor,” Judy replied. “It might even be in your contract,” she added quickly. “It’s definitely in your best interest. We’re just all concerned about you.”
“Is there a doctor on the island?” Charlotte really didn’t feel like getting dressed and going out. She just wanted to go to bed. Then again, she knew better than to violate the terms of her agreement. That would not be a good idea at all.
“Believe it or not, there isn’t a real doctor on this entire glorified sandbar. I don’t understand how people can live like that. The innkeeper called a registered nurse who lives on that farm next door. She works at an emergency medical clinic out here. If she thinks there’s anything wrong with you, we’ll take you to the best hospital in Boston, no questions asked.”
Charlotte guessed that while she was in the shower, the brain trust—Judy, Mike, and Brad—had agreed on this plan. She didn’t think she needed any medical attention but had to go along with their decision.
For some odd reason, the image of Colin came to mind, the way he’d looked standing at the helm of his boat, his face turned to the wind, his stance tall and strong as he pointed the bow through the wide, rough water, taking the waves head-on. She envied his freedom and independence.
Charlotte took the towel off her head and began to comb her hair, which was not an easy job. She found some conditioning spray and worked on the tangles. “I can call Noreen to do your hair, Charlotte,” Meredith said, pulling out her cell phone.
Noreen was in makeup and styled Charlotte’s hair for the film. “That’s all right. I think I can get a comb through … eventually. She can work on it later or tomorrow. When is the nurse coming?”
“She should be here in a few minutes. She was busy on her goat farm when Liza called.” Judy looked at Charlotte and raised her eyebrows. “That might be cute. If it didn’t make me worry she won’t know what she’s doing.”
Before Charlotte could respond, there was a sharp knock on the door. “Maybe that’s her now.” Judy jumped to answer it.
But it wasn’t the nurse. It was Claire, who stood in the doorway, holding a tray. A warm, delicious smell wafted Charlotte’s way.
“I’ve brought you some chicken soup with fresh vegetables,” Claire said.
“Oh, I don’t think she can eat yet, but thanks. You can put it down on that table, I guess.” Judy spoke in an offhand manner while checking her cell phone.
Charlotte felt herself bristling. Judy was being rude to Claire, and she was treating Charlotte as if she were a child. I’m perfectly capable of deciding whether or not I want to eat, she thought.
She smiled at Claire and said, “It smells great. I think I’ll try it.” Charlotte pinned up her wet hair in a clip and walked over to the table. “All that swimming this morning made me hungry.”
“I thought some soup would be just the thing to settle your stomach, along with some hot rolls and a cup of tea.” Claire set her a place at the table, with fine china dishes, a linen place mat and cloth napkin, and a small bunch of pink roses in a glass vase.
Charlotte took a seat and started on the soup. She had such an awful feeling in her stomach from swallowing so much water, she hadn’t felt any hunger at all. But the smell of food changed that in an instant.
“You need to get something in your stomach, dear. And drink a lot of fluids. You’re dehydrated. A few hours of sleep should cure the rest.”
Sensible advice, Charlotte thought. She glanced at Judy, who rolled her eyes. She obviously didn’t trust homespun medical advice.
Judy’s phone buzzed like a trapped insect. She quickly checked a new text.
“Come on, Meredith. We’ve been summoned,” she said to Charlotte’s assistant. Then she looked at Charlotte. “There’s a meeting. You don’t have to come down, of course. I’ll bring the nurse up when she gets here.”
A meeting to talk about the production delay she had caused by getting swept out to sea today, Charlotte realized. The schedule had to be changed, and the lost day of work had cost money. Charlotte tried not to feel guilty, but on some level, she did.
Judy and Meredith left the room, but Claire stayed, tidying up and removing wet towels from the bathroom.
“The soup is delicious, thank you,” Charlotte said as she reached the bottom of the bowl. The rolls were delicious, too. Charlotte rarely indulged in carbs and never ate real butter, but
she couldn’t resist the hot, flaky bread. For goodness’ sake, you nearly died today. You can break your diet a tiny bit, she told herself.
“Care for more soup? I can bring it up in a minute,” Claire offered.
“Maybe later. I’m fine for now. I didn’t think I could eat a bite today after all the water I swallowed. I was pretty sick on the boat. But Colin, the fisherman who found me, told me it was better to get it all out.” Charlotte felt odd just saying his name out loud. Odd but good at the same time. As if she had a special secret now that made her feel happy inside.
“Colin was right. He knows about these things,” Claire agreed.
“Do you know him? Does he live around here? I feel like I barely got to thank him. When we got to the dock, he just disappeared.”
“Yes, I know Colin. He lives on the other side of the island, not far from my little cottage. There’s a community over that way that used to be a fishing village. He’s been there a few years now, I’d say. A very nice young man,” she added.
“Yes, he was very nice.” Charlotte would have described him in much stronger terms—brave, handsome, charming. She wanted to ask Claire how she could get in touch with him. But before she could work up the nerve, Claire spoke first.
“You were fortunate that he passed by and saw you in the water. And that he knew what to do.”
“Yes, I am. Every time I think of what could have happened … I can’t quite believe I survived. I am lucky. Even blessed,” she added.
She suddenly thought of the voice she’d heard in her head when she was first lost in the water. Stay strong, Charlotte. You are loved.
For some reason, she had a feeling that if she told this woman about the voice, she wouldn’t laugh at her or try to explain it away. But Charlotte didn’t know the housekeeper well enough to confess that strange experience. She wasn’t sure she had the nerve to tell anyone.
“It did make me realize how fragile life is,” she confessed. “It could end at any moment, for any of us. It makes you realize that you don’t appreciate your life the way you should. You don’t pay attention to the important things, like friends and family, but also the sun and flowers, even fog. I know I don’t. I’m always in a rush, pressing on to the next thing I have to do. And the next after that.”
“That is a challenge for all of us,” Claire agreed. “Perhaps in certain professions and lifestyles, like yours, it’s even harder. But we can’t let the demands of life steal the joy. Or what’s the point?”
Charlotte knew that was true, because there was another issue in her life that stole the joy, one she couldn’t confide to anyone. She got through each day by pushing it aside, refusing to look at it. Now, surviving the near drowning had brought it up to the surface, as if a sunken ship down there had come up alongside her.
She tried to make sense of it. “I feel … different now,” she told Claire. “An experience like this makes you realize that time is precious and you wonder if you’re really making the most of your life, using your time in a worthwhile way. It makes you think about mistakes you’ve made. Know what I mean?”
“We all have regrets, dear. I can’t imagine a life worth living without a few regrets or mistakes along the way. That’s all part of the journey. We must learn to forgive people who may have hurt us. And forgive ourselves. Life is too short to hold grudges or treat each other unkindly.”
Charlotte nodded. She suddenly couldn’t speak. There was someone in her past she couldn’t forgive: her stepfather, who had treated her mother, and all of them, so badly. Charlotte knew she could never forgive him. Just as she could never forgive herself for running away and leaving her mother and siblings there with him.
Claire stood beside her and touched her shoulder. “My dear, it’s only natural that all these big questions would come bubbling up to the surface right now. Look at what an ordeal you’ve been through. It’s not entirely a bad thing. We all need to take account, from time to time.”
Charlotte nodded. Claire’s words made sense to her. They just felt … true.
“Thank you. And thanks again for the soup. I feel better already,” she said honestly.
“Good.” Claire nodded, looking satisfied. “That’s what we’re here for. If you need anything else, just let me know.”
A few moments later, Charlotte was finally alone in her room. She stretched out on the bed, pulled the fluffy quilt to her chin, and closed her eyes. She thought about calling home. She wanted to talk to Lily just to hear her voice. But she didn’t want to tell them what had happened today. Especially her mother. She was so frail emotionally, she would worry and fret for days even though Charlotte was safe. It didn’t make sense to upset her. But Charlotte felt lonely not being able to confide in anyone.
Charlotte’s thoughts turned to the past, to the memories that haunted her, the pages of her life story she hid from the world, like a secret demon locked in a closet. For years now she had lied about her past, sure it would radically change her public image if the truth were ever revealed.
Some days, she felt as if she were hiding out in her own life, in her own heart. The ordeal in the ocean had brought up all these memories and feelings. She tried to push them back and get some sleep, but it was very hard.
A knock on the door sounded. “Charlotte, it’s Judy. The nurse is here. May we come in?”
“Yes, that’s okay. Come in,” Charlotte called from the bed.
Judy swung open the door. “How are you feeling?”
Charlotte sat up. “I’m fine. I just feel tired.”
“That sounds about right, all things considered.” A sturdy woman, carrying a medical bag, walked in behind Judy. Liza came in, too. The nurse was Liza’s friend and neighbor, Charlotte remembered. She could tell they were close friends just by the way they glanced at each other.
“This is Audrey Gilroy,” Judy said.
“Hello, Audrey. Thanks for coming.” Charlotte shook her hand and sat on the edge of the bed. She could tell the woman was a bit in awe of meeting a “star” but was trying hard to hide it.
“I’m happy to help. Liza told me about your awful experience. It’s a good thing that boat came. You must have been terrified. How are you feeling now?”
“Tired mainly and a little sore. I did a lot of swimming out there. I guess I’m out of shape.”
Audrey asked Charlotte more questions about her physical condition and examined her, taking her blood pressure and listening to her lungs and her heartbeat. She also peered down her throat and into her ears.
“Wow, you were in the water a long time. There’s a fish in there,” she said from behind the instrument.
Charlotte turned her head. “You’re kidding?”
Audrey laughed and leaned back. “Yes, I am. I did see a little water though. You probably hear it. You should see a doctor if it doesn’t come out on its own tonight when you’re sleeping.”
Audrey turned to Judy as she put her instruments away. “I think she’s fine. She just needs rest and fluids. It’s counterintuitive, but staying in the water is extremely dehydrating. You would think it was the other way around. You should feel better in the morning, Charlotte, and back to your full strength in a few days. If you don’t, then please visit a physician. Dr. Harding in Cape Light is an excellent doctor. I could call him for you, if you like.”
“Dr. Harding. All right, I’ll make a note of that. But if she takes a turn for the worse, we’ll probably bring her into Boston,” Judy answered.
Charlotte gave Judy a look. “I’ll be fine. But I will remember about Dr. Harding,” she promised. Audrey began to pack up her medical bag. “I’ve been curious about your farm,” Charlotte told her. “I can see it from the window. Liza told me you raise goats?”
“Yes, we do. And we make cheese and other good stuff.”
“Really? I’d love to come visit if I have time while I’m here.”
“Please do.” Audrey looked amused at the idea. “My husband, Rob, would just faint if he ever saw you i
n person.”
Charlotte smiled graciously. “Better get some smelling salts on hand. I could surprise you.”
When the women finally left her, Charlotte lay down again. It was only late afternoon, but the weather outside made it seem almost as dark as night. The shades were drawn and she turned off the lamp on the bed stand. She closed her eyes and felt herself drifting off to sleep.
It was frightening at first. For some reason, she resisted the feeling of losing consciousness. It was as if she were out in the water again, struggling to hold her breath and stay alive.
Finally, she fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.
AUDREY was so excited by meeting Charlotte Miller, she practically floated down the stairs and into the kitchen, where Liza and Claire were hard at work, fixing dinner for the movie crew.
“I didn’t really believe you, Liza. But it’s true. Charlotte Miller is just as nice in person as she seems in the movies. And even more gorgeous, if that’s possible. She nearly drowned this morning, and she still looked better than most women do on their best day.”
“Now, now. We all have our charms, Audrey,” Claire insisted.
“Sorry, ladies. Of course we do.” Audrey took a carrot stick from a platter of crudités and noisily crunched down. “It’s just that some women seem to hit the jackpot. If Charlotte ever does visit, I’m not sure whether I should give Rob any warning, or let it be a surprise. I’d love to get a picture of his face when he sees her—up close and personal—stepping around the goats.”
Liza laughed at the image. “That would be some picture. You could probably sell it to some fan magazine.”
“No, I don’t think so,” Audrey said with a grin. “It goes against my professional ethics. Nurses shouldn’t hawk photos of their patients. But speaking of stepping around goats, I’d better get back home. Have to feed the livestock—and the husband—soon.”
Once Audrey left, Liza got back to work again. Since there had been no work on the film today, dinner would be served early. Then the crew members who weren’t boarding at the inn would go back to their hotels in Cape Light or the rented waterfront mansion in Newburyport, where the studio executives and stars were staying.
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