“I used to love that when I was a girl.” She picked at the corner of the envelope. “How many times did you meet Carl?”
“Once,” I said.
“Under the bridge?”
“Mm-hmm. He was there with Girl.”
“Girl? He had a girl with him?”
“His dog. Her name’s Girl.”
“Dogs are nice.” She smiled. Her eyes got even prettier. “What sort of dog?”
I swung my feet under the chair. “Sort of orange or brown. And big. But not fluffy like Chicken. Girl got a whip-around tail. A little bit of her fur on her back sticks up straight and some around her neck is all gone. Sometimes she snap-bites at the flies, but she doesn’t catch them. She’s a good dog. She wears a rope around her neck with three beads. Carl wears beads too. Kind of. In his beard.”
“Wow. Detective Aiken was right. You’ve got an amazing memory, Maisy.”
I shook my head. I don’t got a good memory. It was always making things up. Putting the wrong pictures in there, or mixing them around. But I didn’t tell her that.
“Is Carl a nice man?”
I looked out through the glass doors. There were so many people on our lawn. Tramping down our grass. I wondered if it would ever stand up again, and I wondered what I should say. If Carl stole Rowan, he was not a nice man. But he was nice to me under the bridge. He was nice to Rowan. He was extra nice to Girl.
“He called me ‘Little Fawn,’ ” I said. “He called Rowan ‘Magic Boy.’ ”
She opened a notepad. Her pen made a scritching sound.
“Did you feel afraid?”
I sucked on my bottom lip.
“Did he ever say or do anything that made you feel uncomfortable, Maisy? Nervous? You know, get that squiggly feeling in your belly.”
I shook my head. That was a small lie. Carl did make me feel squiggly in my middle. Real squiggly. But if I told her, Rowan might get hurt. More bad things might happen. I wanted to tell things the best way. It was better to make Carl friendly.
“Can you guess Carl’s age?”
“Old,” I said.
“Old like me or even older like, um, Detective Aiken?”
I frowned.
“The man who was just here talking to your mom. That’s Detective Aiken. He has little foxes on his tie.”
I was right. They were foxes. “More old like you,” I said. “He’s smart, too.”
“Smart?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“How can you tell?”
“I just can.” Because Rowan said it.
“Thank you, Maisy. Do you know what color his hair was?”
“Shiny color. Black and white shiny. And clumpy. And he has a big beard with things in it. Sparkly silvery things.” I didn’t tell her about the metal piece he put in my hair. I could feel the corner of it sticking my leg through my pocket. “And he laughs a whole lot. Like someone is telling jokes in his ear. His eyes squish up. It made us laugh too. Laughing about nothing. Me and Rowan.” I started smiling, even though it was only Rowan that laughed. It sounded better if it was both of us.
“That’s a wonderful description, Maisy. Thank you. Sometimes laughter is catchy, isn’t it?” She wrote more down. Her notebook was the same kind as the fox-tie man’s. “Do you remember what he was wearing?”
“A lot!” I pinched my face to make my smile go away. “He must’ve been real warm.”
“Like?”
“A sweater and a coat and pants and fancy shoes.”
“Fancy?”
“Special shoes. Black with little laces.” Telly never had shoes like that. He only wore work boots. Or sometimes sneakers. Once before he left he put his sneakers in the washing machine. They slapped around in there like they were fighting. Gloria said with all the grease they’d ruin the dryer. I watched until it stopped. They came out white and clean.
“Great,” the lady said. “You’re doing wonderfully. Every detail is important, Maisy, and it’s going to help us bring your brother home.”
I straightened up my back. Gloria always told me to do that. Susan was nice. She was a little bit like Mrs. Spooner, but not all covered in wrinkles and brown spots.
“Can I ask you one more favor? Could you look at some photographs? To see if you can find Carl?” She opened the top of the envelope and pictures came out upside down. She made them into a pile.
“Why do you have photos?” I asked.
“Well, sometimes we take pictures of people so we can remember them later. It doesn’t mean they’re bad or dangerous. A lot of these people are just a little lost in their heads.”
“Lost in their heads?”
“That just means they’re having a difficult time.”
“Oh,” I said.
I began to turn the pictures over. One after the other. There were men with smooth heads. Some had broken teeth and saggy red eyes and bony cheeks. One had a funny blue anchor drawn on his neck. But no Carl. I kept turning the photos over, and I was starting to feel afraid I wasn’t going to do my best job for Susan. “It’s okay,” she said. “Take your time. Look at each one carefully.” I looked as hard as I could, but Carl wasn’t there. Then, when I flipped almost the last one, there was someone who could be Carl. Maybe. His hair was long and his beard wasn’t sparkly and his forehead was sort of dirty. Next to the picture of Carl was another picture. A dressy man with a tie and a white shirt and combed hair and no beard. The eyes looked the same, but that wasn’t Carl for sure. Maybe it was his brother.
I tapped my finger on the dirty face. “Him,” I said.
She whirled the picture around and shook her head. I knew I made a mistake.
“Are you certain?”
“Mm-hmm.” But I wasn’t certain at all. I pointed at the other man. “Is that his brother?”
“No, that’s him too. In better times, sadly.” Then she looked at me and smiled wide with lots of teeth. I knew I didn’t make a mistake and I did a good job. I got it right. Carl and the other Carl.
“You are amazing,” she said and stood up. “I’ll be one sec.” She left the kitchen and called out, and then I heard the screen door squeak, and she and the fox-tie man were back. He poked at the photo of Carl. They mumbled to each other and then pointed at other papers. He moved his finger over some words and his lips were moving. Susan smiled at me again. I smiled back. I liked her because she looked like Jenny the Head. I’d probably lose Susan though, if she was mine.
“Mrs. Janes?” the man called. “We need a moment. Could you ask Mr. Janes to come in as well?”
When Gloria and Telly came to the kitchen, he showed them the photo. “His name’s Howard Gill. He’s a lawyer from the city.”
Howard was not Carl?
“A lawyer?” Telly said.
“No longer practicing, obviously. Untreated mental health issues. You can see the physical deterioration between the two snapshots. Once clean cut, and now he’s a transient.”
“They’re both him?” Gloria rubbed at her eyes.
“Yes ma’am.”
“He looks like a lunatic. How can someone like that be allowed to walk around? Let alone live in the woods behind my house! How is that safe? Telly?”
Telly stuck his hands in his pockets. “Glow. I don’t know what to say.”
“I understand your frustration, I do,” the man said, “but we’re really limited. He has rights as long as he doesn’t break the law. As I said, mental struggles.”
“Rights!” She frowned. “What type of country don’t have a law against that type?”
Susan talked then. “We’ve some familiarity with him. He’s been picked up a couple of times for loitering, trespassing, urinating in a public park. Found in someone’s backyard going through trash.”
“So, nothing serious?” Telly said. “He’s not going to hurt Rowan?”
The fox-tie man coughed. “Well, there was one incident. An assault.”
“What?” Telly pulled his hand out of his pocket and put his ar
m around Gloria.
“Yes, but they refused to press charges. Religious folks, a pair of them, going door to door. Trying to convert people. They went to Howard’s house and his mother opened the door, let them in. Mr. Gill did not react well, and after that he spent some time in an institution. But eventually he was released into his mother’s care.”
Gloria started crying.
“Christ,” Telly said. “So he’s dangerous?”
“When provoked. And he’s delusional, that’s for certain. We know his usual haunts, Mr. and Mrs. Janes. We’re going to locate him as quickly as possible. Bring him in.” He looked down at me and patted my shoulder. “Maisy? We’re going to find Carl. I promise you we’ll find him.”
My head was getting woozy. There was lots of static inside me. I imagined them throwing a net over Carl, or Howard, who might not be Carl. Then Carl-Howard trying to escape, and a policeman shooting him through his back. I could see the black hole right in his middle. And it’d be my fault. I wanted to tell the fox-tie man please not to hurt him when they found him. He made us laugh even though we couldn’t hear his jokes. He gave most of his burnt wiener to Girl instead of eating it himself.
Then Susan said, “You’ve been tremendously helpful, Maisy. You’re a very intelligent and brave young lady.”
You are not brave…but you will be brave. Carl said that when he saw my cards. But Carl was wrong, and I wanted to tell Susan and the fox-tie man. Anyone could point at a picture.
MAISY
After Susan put all the photos back in the envelope, the fox-tie man said, “One quick thing. Channel 6 would like to talk with you. Come out here and do a short piece.”
“What do you mean?” Telly said.
“We want the public’s help. Have them out there with their eyes open, Mr. Janes. Searching for Rowan. Any kind of information, any tip, we want to hear it.” He lifted up his tie and dropped it again. “Her name’s Anita, and she’ll ask you some questions about your boy. We want the public to know who your son is. To care about him.”
Susan smiled. “Tell them what’s in your heart. That you love him and miss him.”
“We can do that. Right, Telly?” Gloria took Telly’s hand.
“Of course we can,” he said.
She squeezed his hand. I could see the white parts.
“All right, then. Sometime this afternoon.”
Then we heard a shout from the backyard and we all went through the sliding doors. Chicken, too. Gloria stood right in the spot where Rowan was in the storm. If he was outside, but he wasn’t. He was having root beer, and that was nicer. A big crowd of people stomped out of the bushes at different spots. They were shaking their heads, and a lot of them were scritching hard at their necks and their arms. They were dressed in shorts and sneakers and T-shirts and hats. Most of them were men. Some of them were ladies, and a couple of teenagers, and Darrell was there again. He was wearing black jeans and a black T-shirt and a spiky belt around his middle. He waved at me, but I sat down and picked at Chicken’s fur. Chicken didn’t have no burrs. I just pretended.
Two men wearing police clothes came up on the deck. They talked and the fox-tie man nodded. Telly put his hands on his head and kicked air with his feet. “Jesus,” he said loud. “I feel like I’m going crazy.” A bunch of people got in their cars and drove away slow. Their tires left lines in the muck. Telly hugged Gloria and said, “They’re giving up. Already, Glow. Some of them are giving up.”
“They’re not, Telly.”
“Well, I’m going back in.”
“Mr. Janes,” the fox-tie man said.
“I don’t care what you say. I won’t stop until I’ve turned over every leaf in those goddamned woods. I’ll call up a few fellows from the garage. They’ll come out. We got to try again.”
I looked at the trees. Branches were going up and down and making a shush noise. There were lots of dark spots. Rowan could be hiding anywhere. Rowan and Carl and Girl.
Then I heard a terrible loud sound up in the sky. A helicopter was driving overhead. Telly and Gloria pointed at it, but I put my hands over my ears and pushed. It was trying to find Rowan, I knew, but the sound hurt my head. All I could think of was the top of the helicopter swinging around so fast I couldn’t even see it. Fast enough to slice me up. Or slice up Rowan if he got too close.
I ran inside and through the kitchen and into the hall. I jumped when I saw Mrs. Spooner. She was standing on the other side of the screen holding a huge plastic plate heaped up with sandwiches on fluffy white bread. They were all cut in fours. I looked quick at the middles. Egg salad and ham and cheese and tuna and some other pink stuff I couldn’t guess. My mouth started to water. Rowan would eat all those tuna ones if he could. He loved tuna. He said Gran always made him tuna on toast with melted cheese. Gloria never bought it because she didn’t want her kitchen stinking of fish.
I took my hands off my ears because Mrs. Spooner’s mouth was moving.
“I said awful racket, isn’t it?”
I nodded, but the helicopter was driving away. Getting quiet.
“Might I come in?” She sad-smiled at me.
I looked behind me and couldn’t see Gloria. I didn’t know if I should open the door. My head was getting floaty.
“Oh, I won’t be but a minute. I just want to drop these.” The sandwiches. “My arms are near gone.”
“Who’s that, Maisy?” Gloria called out from the kitchen.
“Mrs. Spooner,” I called back.
“Well, let her in.” Gloria came into the hallway. “Don’t just stand there gawking at the poor woman. Where’re your manners?”
My head got even more floaty. I opened the screen door. Mrs. Spooner brushed past me. I could smell her perfume, like the spray can Gloria got once for our bathroom. And I could smell the food.
“Maisy, dear, can you take these? I thought the searchers might want a snack.” She put the plate on my arms. “But some of them are leaving already?”
The plate was heavy and dug into my skin.
“Let me,” Gloria said. She swooped the sandwiches away and went back to the kitchen.
Mrs. Spooner touched my arm. “How are you doing, Maisy?”
“Good,” I said.
She smiled again. “How’s your new doll? Jenny, was it?”
“Chicken got hungry and ate her body.”
“That’s too bad, sweetheart.”
“It doesn’t matter. She likes being Jenny the Head.” I didn’t tell Mrs. Spooner she was lost. Gloria told me I wasn’t good at looking after her.
“Can I get you a coffee or tea or anything?” Gloria was calling out from the kitchen again, and me and Mrs. Spooner went in.
“No, no. Nothing at all, dear.”
“Thank you so much for the sandwiches. Everyone’s being so kind.”
“Don’t even mention it, Gloria. I’ll help any way I can. I’ve been hoping for news?”
Gloria shook her head. “They’ve done two searches through the woods. Fine-toothed comb, the detective said. And not a single sign.” The back of her hand went over her mouth. I heard her sniff.
“I just can’t imagine what you’re going through. Rowan is such a sweet boy.”
“It’s all happening so fast. How can they be done in the woods already? He’s still in there somewhere. I know he is. Telly’s going back in. He’s not giving up.”
“Telly’s a fine man, isn’t he?”
Gloria’s face got red and twisty. I wished Mrs. Spooner would go back outside. She wasn’t helping at all. I was still angry at Rowan, but now it was a scared-angry. What if he broke his legs and was lost in some bushes? What if he fell and got his eyes poked out on some sticks and couldn’t find his way? What if Carl was not nice and read out horrible things on his deck of cards and tied Rowan up? What if Girl growled at Rowan and he was frightened and freezing and hungry for a tuna sandwich?
Then different thoughts snuck in and pinched me. What if Carl didn’t make him go? What if Rowan
was happy now? What if he was eating lots of wieners and sleeping outside under the stars and snuggling up with Girl? What if he didn’t miss us at all?
“He’ll be back soon,” said Mrs. Spooner. “I sense it in my bones. He’s such a wonderful child. The brightest boy I’ve ever had the pleasure of teaching, and I say that without hesitation. Such curiosity. He’s bound to be a writer. You’ve read his stories?” Gloria nodded. “Then you know what a gift he has. Of course you do.”
Tears poured out of Gloria’s eyes. She bent her head over and they splatted on the plastic covering up the sandwiches.
“Oh, dear,” Mrs. Spooner said. Then she saw the THEIF sign on the table. The sign those boys made when they wouldn’t let Rowan play with them. They were garbage. Those boys. Mrs. Spooner turned it around with her finger. She looked hard at that sign and then her face went funny.
“That’s quite odd,” she said. She tapped on the letters.
“What is? What’s odd?”
“Oh, nothing. Just reminded me of something, that’s all.”
When Mrs. Spooner left, I watched her stop in front of the fox-tie man. He was by his car and he squashed a cigarette into the grass. She talked to him. Her hands were moving, and she made a rectangle shape. She talked some more, and I heard her say, “Just concerning, don’t you think?” The man made me think of Telly then. All those times when Gloria was telling him things. His head would nod, but his ears and his brain were gone off somewhere else.
* * *
—
Some of Telly’s friends came in big trucks. Six of them went in the woods and I watched and watched but seven didn’t come out. If night came, and he still wasn’t home, that meant Rowan was gone for two whole days.
Telly came inside and wiped his face on a dishtowel. He told Gloria they didn’t find him, and he looked right at me without blinking. Like he knew I’d told a lie. At first I didn’t know what I lied about, but when he kept saying there was no sign of nobody, I started to worry Carl wasn’t real. Maybe there was no one under the bridge. Maybe I pointed at the wrong picture. I knew my mind had too much imagination. It was a giant problem. Gloria told me that all the time.
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