by A. T Brennan
I pulled off my jeans and shirt, and then stripped off my bra. The sweatpants were big on me but they stayed up when I pulled the drawstring tight. The shirt was nice and loose and he was right, I felt more comfortable.
As I gathered my clothes I couldn’t help taking in a deep breath and smiled. His room smelled like him, that musky mix of clean laundry and fresh rain.
I heard a noise in the main part of the apartment and jumped. Now was not the time to be sniffing his room and daydreaming about how good he smelled.
Shaking my head I hurried out of his room and found Matt sitting on the couch with two cups in front of him. There was also a bottle of rum and a couple cans of soda.
“You want strong or light?” Matt asked as I sat next to him. I could smell his drink from where I was sitting and it was strong.
“Light.”
“Not a big drinker?” He glanced over at me as he poured a little rum into a cup and then filled it halfway with soda.
“I’ve never had a drink before.”
His hand stilled, holding the soda can over the table as he looked at me in surprise. “Never?”
“I’ve had a few sips of wine, but not a whole drink.” I could feel my face flaming and fought the urge to look away from him.
“Well,” he grinned, “here’s to your first drink.”
He put the can down and picked up the cups. I took the one he handed me and smiled as he cheers his cup with mine.
He drank down about half his drink and I almost choked on my first sip.
“Good?” he asked teasingly.
“It’s different.” I cleared my throat and took another sip. It went down easier this time and I could taste a nice mix of sweet soda and hot alcohol. “Is it supposed to burn?”
He laughed and nodded. “You get used to it.”
I took a bigger sip and smiled. He was right. It wasn’t so bad now.
“You might want to take it easy, it’ll hit you hard if you’re not used to it.” He chuckled and finished off the last of his drink.
“You think one would get me drunk?”
“Not at the strength I made it, but a few and you’ll be buzzed.”
“Oh.”
“You look like something’s on your mind.” He filled his cup and looked at me.
“What does being drunk feel like?”
“It’s different for every person. Sometimes it makes you happy, other times it can make you sad. It can make you forget why you shouldn’t do something and it can make you do something you’d never do sober.” His eyes clouded and he looked away for a moment. “You want to get drunk?” he asked, looking at me with clear eyes.
“Would it be bad if I said yes?”
He laughed and shook his head. “Not at all. Isn’t that what college is for?”
“And here I thought it was for the degree.” I laughed.
“I guess there’s that too.”
“I was thinking this is a good way to do it.” I took another sip. “I’m with someone I trust and in a safe place. It’s kind of ideal.”
“You trust me?” Matt looked at me and I could see something flash in his eyes. I couldn’t quite read it, but it almost seemed like he was shocked.
“I do.” I nodded and drank down the rest of my drink. “Do I have a reason not to?”
“No, Avery. You can trust me.”
I smiled shyly as he filled my cup, and when he handed it back I felt a weird heat spreading over my skin. If this was buzzed it was kind of nice.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.” He nodded and put his feet up on the coffee table.
“You, Logan, Jaxon and Jason are all brothers, but you don’t look anything alike. Outside of the fact that Jaxon and Jason are twins,” I added quickly.
He pulled in a deep breath and sighed.
“Jax and Jay are the only two of us who are blood related.”
“So, you’re like step brothers?”
“Logan’s parents adopted Jax and Jay when they were ten. They adopted me when I was sixteen.”
“Oh.” I took a drink as I thought about what he’d said. “Are your parents, I mean, your birth parents...”
“Are they alive?”
“Yeah.”
“As far as I know.”
“Oh?”
I could see he was struggling with whether or not he was going to tell me more and I spoke up quickly.
“You don’t have to tell me anything more.”
“I don’t tell a lot of people about it.” He looked at me, his gaze intense as he seemed to be seizing me up.
I waited as he shot back the rest of his drink and sighed.
“Things at my house weren’t the best, but they didn’t get bad until my dad lost his job when I was eleven. Before that my parents were distant and they drank, a lot, but they never hurt me.
“After my dad was laid off we lost everything. We had to move into a shitty apartment in a shithole area and my parents were miserable. I became their punching bag—dad literally and mom verbally. I hid the abuse for a year, but in the sixth grade I went to school with two broken ribs and a black eye and my teacher reported it. I was pulled out of the house and put in foster care.
“I was in five homes in a year and a half, and by the time I went to live with my parents I was an asshole. I was combative and talked back. I didn’t listen and I hated everyone.”
“Were you acting out because you were trying to give them a reason to send you away, so it wouldn’t hurt if they did?”
“Yeah. I don’t know what they saw in me or why they gave me so many chances, but they didn’t give up on me.”
He smiled and put his cup down.
“Logan was the reason I let my guard down. I gave him every reason to hate me but he kept telling me we were brothers and he wasn’t going anywhere. He was always right there and after a while I realized he was telling the truth. He’s always believed in me, even when I didn’t believe in myself.
“On my sixteenth birthday the Robson’s asked to adopt me. I cried like a bitch.” He shook his head and grinned at the memory. “It’s been ten years since I came to live with them, seven since they officially adopted me, and all the crap I dealt with before is just a memory.”
“Wow. I’m sorry you had to go through what you did, but it sounds like it worked out and you have something better now than what you lost.”
“True.” He nodded and refilled his drink. “Another?”
I looked into my cup and realized it was empty. I didn’t even remember drinking it while he was talking.
“Thanks.”
“What about your family?”
“We’re pretty normal.” I took the drink he mixed up and drank down a big gulp. Now it didn’t have any sort of burn. “I’m an only child. My parents are still married...not a lot to tell.”
“You close with them?”
“Not as close as I was.” I looked into my drink as a small wave of dizziness hit me. “My mom didn’t handle me leaving to go to school very well.”
“Why not?”
“Mom and dad wanted lots of kids, but after they had me mom had a bunch of miscarriages. I don’t know how many for sure, but I remember four, and one was really late in the pregnancy. After they gave up trying for more she got really protective of me. She needed to know where I was, who I was with...everything.”
“Do you think that’s why you’re so shy? Because you were sheltered?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.” I chugged the rest of my drink and thought about it. “I’ve always been weird. I guess never being allowed to do anything made me awkward around people, and maybe never going anywhere or doing anything could have made being shy worse.”
The room wasn’t spinning per se, but it didn’t seem to be staying level as I put my cup down and leaned back on the couch.
“I felt so guilty for being her only kid I guess I did everything I could to make her happy.”
“But you left, came here,
” he pointed out.
“Yeah. It’s the only time I’ve ever stood up to her.”
“So why here? What made you pick Seattle of all places?”
“It was the first program that accepted me. My mom thought I would go Ohio State, stay local and live at home, but I didn’t. I applied to schools all over so I could get away. Washington accepted me first so I said yes before I could chicken out and follow her plan.”
“Is she okay with you being here now?”
“Not really. Dad was on my side and he’s always encouraged me to do what I wanted and to follow my dream and not hers. I think he’s the only reason she hasn’t moved down here to watch over me.” I laughed bitterly and shook my head. “I thought getting out on my own would help me stop being who I was, but I’m still the same loser, just with a different postal code.”
“If you could change anything, what would you want to be?”
“Happy.” I sighed and put my cup on the table.
“And what would make you happy?”
“Looking in the mirror and liking what I see. Not second guessing everything I say or do. Not being the weird chick people have no trouble laughing at but no one wants to say hi to...I want to feel like I belong.”
“You don’t feel any of that now?”
“I only look in the mirror when I have to and I over analyze pretty much every moment of my life. I’m still the weirdo no one talks too, but at least now I have a friend.”
“Just one?” Matt’s eyes were dark and a little heated as he looked at me, but that couldn’t be right, could it? He wouldn’t look at me like that. Would he?
“No, not just one.” I swallowed and bit my lip.
“What don’t you like about yourself? What do you see when you look in the mirror?”
“A plain girl. One who needs to spend more time at the gym and less time eating ...someone who’s invisible if she’s not doing the wrong thing.”
“You want to know what I see when I look at you?”
“What?” I breathed as he slid closer to me on the couch.
“I see a beautiful girl who doesn’t see herself. I see someone who’s smart and kind and tries to be invisible because she doesn’t know how great she is.”
“Really?” I could barely breathe.
Matt was so close his leg was pressed against mine.
“Really.”
His gaze moved from my eyes to my lips, and a moment later he leaned toward me.
This time I really did stop breathing. I froze for a moment, but some sort of instinct must have kicked in because my eyes fluttered closed and I waited for his kiss.
“Men suck!”
The crashing of a door scared the shit out of me and I jumped, squealing in fright. I felt Matt jump too as the couch shifted and my eyes flew open.
“Shit, Logan.” Matt slid away from me and stared at the door. “What the fuck?”
“Men suck.” He slammed the door shut and looked at me in surprise. “Avery? What are you doing here?”
“I-I...”
“Avery?” He sat down next to me and took my hands in his. “Why are you wearing Matt’s clothes?”
He looked at Matt and his face went from concerned to angry. “Fuck, Matty. What the hell—”
“I brought her here from the party. Jax and Jay found some randoms and she was alone,” he cut in angrily.
“He saved me.” I turned to Logan, not sure what all the anger was about.
“Saved you? What are you talking about, sweetie?”
“He saw someone slip something in my drink.” I glanced over at Matt and saw he was still glaring at Logan. “He stopped me from drinking it and brought me here so I wouldn’t be alone.”
“Oh my god! Are you okay?”
“Matt got me out of there. I’m fine, thanks to him.”
“And he gave you clothes so you’d be more comfortable.” Logan shook his head. “Sorry, Matt.”
“Whatever.” Matt shrugged and nodded to the table. “You need a drink?”
“So much yes.”
Chapter Five
MATT
I stood up to get Logan a cup and mentally cursed myself the entire way to the kitchen.
What the hell was wrong with me?
One minute I’m spilling my guts about my past and asking Avery about hers. Then I’m telling her she’s beautiful and about to kiss her. What the actual fuck?
If Logan hadn’t walked in when he did I know I would have kissed her. Pressed my lips against hers, swept my tongue into her mouth so I could taste her, and pulled her against my body so I could feel every inch of her. My hands would have cupped her perfect tits and I would have been lost.
When I’d seen her walk out of my bedroom, my clothes loose and baggy on her, I’d felt a wave of desire, followed by one of longing.
She looked so damn sexy and cute in my clothes, and I couldn’t help noticing how she wasn’t wearing a bra.
That had sent my mind into overdrive and my dick had hardened in an instant. Thankfully my jeans covered up the fact that my cock was trying to stand at attention and I tried to focus on anything other than her perky little tits poking through my shirt and her perfect pink mouth as she licked her lips after every sip of her drink.
I wanted her. Fuck I wanted her. As I’d watched her finish her first drink all I could think about was pulling her close, kissing her senseless and then laying her down so I could burry my cock deep inside her body.
But she was off limits.
The fact that she was Logan’s friend and a virgin made her untouchable, but it was how she could affect me without even trying that made me resolve to resist my animal urges.
I was used to games and coyness. I was used to chicks dressed to kill with their tits in my face and their asses on full display. I liked the games and the innuendoes and loved when a chick would flat out tell me she wanted me.
Avery was the opposite of everything I thought I wanted and everything I’d ever had.
She was shy and sweet an innocent. She was nineteen but seemed younger, and she was a good person.
She deserved a hell of a lot more than what I could ever offer her. She needed a good guy. Someone kind and smart. Someone who would be soft and gentle with her. She definitely didn’t need me kissing her while she was half drunk and imagining all the ways I’d fuck her if given the chance.
I grabbed a cup and came back to the living room, grateful Avery had moved to sit beside Logan and was out of my reach.
“No mix,” Logan cut in as I reached for a soda.
“You sure?”
“After the night I had? No mix.”
“What happened?”
“You remember that guy I left with?” He glanced at Avery.
“Sure. It would take a lot to forget a guy like him. He was all sorts of yummy.” She grinned and I felt a flare of jealousy go through me.
“He certainly was.” Logan nodded and reached for the drink I’d poured.
I was being an idiot. I’d just gone over all the reasons she was out of my league and hearing her talk about another man was sending my blood boiling. I passed Logan his drink and quickly refilled mine. I needed a few more of these to calm the fuck down.
“Me too?” Avery asked as she nodded to her cup.
“Sure.” I grabbed her cup and set to mixing her another drink.
“Anyway. I left with him. We go to his place and he’s on me in a second. It’s hot and passionate and holy shit he has the biggest dick I’ve ever seen.”
Avery blushed and took a sip of her drink, but I noticed how she didn’t seem uncomfortable.
“It was amazing.” He sighed and shot back his rum. “Another.”
“If it was so amazing, why are you upset?” Avery asked.
“Because while I was laying there, basking in the glow, I saw a picture of him and some woman. I asked if it was his sister and he said it was his wife.”
“Shit.” I poured a double and handed it to him. “I’m
sorry, man.”
“He’s married?” Avery looked shocked.
“And so deep in the closet he’s about to fall into Narnia.” Logan sighed again and shot back his drink, almost choking as he did. “I hate guys who are on the DL.”
“DL?” Avery asked as she looked at me.
“Down Low,” I supplied. “Gay men living straight lives who pick up men on the side.”
“That’s really horrible. I’m sorry, Logan.”
“I always find them. It’s like I have a magnet in my pants and they’re drawn to me.”
“I think they’re drawn to your ass because it’s so perfect.” Avery giggled and finished her drink.
“My my, someone’s feeling frisky.” Logan grinned and put his cup down. “And thank you, darling. I work hard for this ass.”
I watched Logan sling his arm over Avery’s shoulders and pull her down so she was leaning against his body. I could almost feel her warmth as he snuggled into her and I poured myself a double.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, sweetie, but it’s not the same cuddling with a chick.”
“No?” she giggled. “What’s wrong with my cuddles?”
“Nothing. But you’re too bumpy.”
“Bumpy?” She laughed and looked at me. “Matt, am I bumpy?”
“I definitely didn’t feel any bumps.” I grinned and shot back my drink. I was on my way to drunk. Maybe now I’d chill the fuck out and stop getting jealous of every little thing Logan said or did with her that I couldn’t.
“When did you feel her bumps, or lack thereof?” Logan looked between us.
“Movie night. You went to bed and he took pity on me and let me hide against him. Now stop changing the subject. I’m bumpy?”
“I’m used to a different physique. I like my men tall, strong and muscular.” He sighed and kissed her temple absentmindedly.
“You and me both.” She glanced over at me and winked.
That simple move sent a rush of blood to my cock and in the next breath I was hard again.
“You’re missing one very important thing and have two I’m not interested in,” Logan continued and she put one hand over her breast defensively.
That move made my balls tighten as I imagined how perfectly her breast would fit in my hand.