by A. T Brennan
“Thank you. Do you have time to pose again? I was hoping to do a more detailed full body one.”
“Of course. Same pose?”
“Why don’t you get comfortable, pose however you want?”
“Are you going to be turning this one in?”
“No, it’s just for me.”
He grinned and winked before pulling off his shirt.
His chest was muscular and lean, and his stomach was tight and toned. I let my eyes wander over the light spattering of hair on his chest and down what I’ve heard people call the ‘treasure trail’ until it disappeared under his waistline. Holy hell he was gorgeous.
“This okay?” he asked, grinning at me.
“Very okay.” I nodded and tried not to blush.
As he lay back and put his hands behind his head I had to fight to keep my breathing even as a warmth spread over my skin and a tingle hit me right in the clit. I’d never been so affected by a guy in my life, but then again, I’d never had a guy on my bed before.
It took everything I had to focus on my picture and not on how incredibly yummy Matt looked laid out on my bed.
We chatted idly as I worked, and I really had to concentrate on drawing and not saying what was really on my mind.
When I was finished I handed him the sketch.
“Wow, this actually makes me look good.” He grinned and handed the pad back to me.
“You don’t need any help in that department.” I clamped my mouth shut and blushed as I put it aside. That had slipped out.
“Why thank you, darlin’,” he drawled. “Care to join me?”
Before I could talk myself out of it I went over and lay down with him. It was a single bed and with both of us on it there wasn’t a lot of room. Matt shifted so he could slip his arms under me and pull me right up against his body.
I put my head on his strong chest and sighed contently. This felt really nice.
“Matt?” I asked after a long silence. My heart was pounding in my chest but I pushed my nerves aside.
“Yeah?”
“About what I asked you last night.”
“About kissing you?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you want to take it back?”
“No.”
“Are you asking me to kiss you?”
“Yes.”
He rolled so he was leaning over me, his strong body pressed right up against mine. I could feel heat from his skin seeping into mine and my body tightened in response.
“Are you sure?” he asked quietly.
“Do you not want to?”
“Oh, I want to.” He licked his bottom lip and I had to bite back a gasp as my clit pulsed again. “I need to make sure you really want it.”
“I want it. Please.”
He groaned softly and slowly bent his head. The moment his lips touched mine it was as though he was touching me with pure electricity. I’d never felt anything like it, and I moaned softly as he pressed a little more firmly against me.
When his tongue traced over my bottom lip I gasped, and he swept it into my mouth, running it against mine sensuously.
My head was spinning, but again, some sort of instinct kicked in and I found myself kissing him back. Every fiber of my being wanted him to keep kissing me. His teeth nipped at my bottom lip and then he sucked my tongue right into his mouth. My hands gripped him as I pressed my body against his, needing to feel every inch of his hard body against mine.
I’d never imagined I could feel so much, and when his hand moved to cup my breast jolts of pleasure shot through me.
“Fuck, Avery.” He pulled back and looked into my eyes. “You have no idea what you fucking do to me.”
“What do you mean? Wait.” I grabbed at his arms as he started to pull away from me.
“The fact that you don’t understand shows how wrong this is.” He shook his head and paused. “I feel like I’m taking advantage of you.”
“I want this. Please, Matt. I want you so badly I’m aching.”
“I only have so much resolve. If you keep looking at me like that I’m going to give in. I can only hold back for so long.”
“Don’t hold back, please.”
He groaned again, and this time his lips descended on mine. His kiss was hot and hard and passionate. Our lips mashed together, our tongues toyed and played with each other. I no longer wanted to be passive. I wanted to show him how much I wanted him and gently scraped my teeth over his lip, causing him to groan deep in his throat. His tongue plundered my willing mouth as he thrust it between my lips, and then he rubbed his fingers against my hardened nipple.
“Yes, Matt!” I cried out as his lips left mine and travelled over my jaw and down my throat. “Oh god.”
“Avery,” he groaned against me, nipping and licking my sensitive skin.
“Matt, please.” I had no idea what I was begging him for, but I needed more.
He pulled away from me and I was about to protest when he gripped the bottom of my tank and tugged it up so it was bunched under my armpits. It took him a moment to pull my breasts free from the built in bra, and then his mouth was travelling down my chest and towards my newly exposed nipples.
“Oh yes!”
The moment his lips kissed my nipple a jolt of pure electricity went through me. When he pulled it into his mouth and gently scraped his teeth against it things deep in my body tugged and reacted and I felt myself getting even wetter.
“Oh, oh my god.” I moaned and squeezed my legs together as a tingle ran down my spine and stopped between my legs. “Matt.”
“Avery.” He moved his mouth to my other nipple and gently suckled it as he used his hand to tweak and tease the other one.
“Oh god, oh god!”
My head was spinning and I could barely think. All I knew was that I was more turned on than I had ever been before, and I needed to come.
“Avery, fuck.” He pulled away from me and shook his head. “I’m sorry.”
“What? Don’t be sorry.” I fought to keep my focus on him and not my throbbing clit and aching loins. “That felt amazing.”
“You asked me for a kiss and I—”
I didn’t want to hear him apologize, or for him to stop, so I grabbed him by the back of the neck and pulled him down to me so I could kiss him again. His kiss was hard and hot and small noises of pleasure escaped me as I tangled my hands in his hair, relishing in the feel of the strong, silky strands against my skin.
“Matt, please.” I begged when he pulled away and put his hand on my stomach but didn’t move it.
“Do you want me to make you come?” He lifted his head so he could look into my eyes.
“Please.” I knew I was begging but I didn’t care.
He nodded and slipped his hand under the waistband of my pants.
His eyes were locked on mine and I couldn’t have looked away if I wanted to. His look was so dark and intense I could barely believe it.
“Oh!” I gasped as his fingers traced over my slit, slipping through my wet folds. “Yes, Matt,” I encouraged when he paused.
After a brief hesitation he slipped one finger inside me, pushing until he was all the way in. It didn’t hurt, but it did feel different. When he pulled it out and then pushed it back in a slice of pleasure shot through me and I gasped.
“Fuck you’re so tight.”
“Yes. Oh yes.” I nodded, hoping he would do more to ease the ache inside me because it was only getting worse the slower he moved. I wanted him to see how much I needed him to continue so I spread my legs a little wider.
“Fuck.” He shook his head and started to pump his finger in and out of me.
“Oh god, Matt.” I arched into his hand as pleasure spiralled out from my very core and my entire body tightened.
When his thumb pressed against my clit I nearly rocketed off the bed, only his body over mine stopped me, and I cried out in pure ecstasy.
“Does that feel good?” he asked in a husky voice as he watched me gasp
and cry out.
“It feels so good.” I nodded. “More, please.”
He groaned and moved his thumb faster and faster over me.
“Oh fuck, oh god!”
I was right there. I was on the brink of orgasm and I only needed a little bit more.
“Yes!” I screamed as pleasure exploded inside me. My body bucked and writhed and my legs squeezed closed, holding his hand in place as I enjoyed my orgasm.
“Oh wow. Matt.” I opened my eyes and found him staring at me. “Oh my god.”
That was not only my first kiss, it was also the first time someone had seen or touched my breasts, and it was the first orgasm I’d ever had from someone else. I was quite adept at giving them to myself, but nothing could compare to the feeling of having Matt’s body and lips on mine, not to mention his finger inside me as I came.
It took me a moment to completely get my head back, but when I was able to focus I couldn’t quite read the look in his eyes.
He slowly pulled his hand out of me and reached up to move my tank top back down so I was covered.
“Here.” I reached toward him so I could touch him but he shook his head. “Matt?”
“This wasn’t about getting anything in return. This was about me giving you pleasure. Nothing more.”
“Are you sure?”
I felt bad. All I’d done was lie there and have him get me off. I could feel what I assumed was his cock, hard and hot against my hip, and I knew he was still aroused.
“I’m sure. This wasn’t about me.”
“Can you lie here with me, just for a second?”
“Of course.”
MATT
As Avery snuggled into me I was mentally cursing myself and trying to get my body to calm the fuck down.
All she’d asked for was a kiss. She’d wanted me to be her first kiss because she trusted me. In my mind I’d taken that trust and tossed it out the window the moment I’d let my hormones take over and touched her.
She was so god damn innocent I know I could have fucked her. I could have easily seduced her with my touch and taken her virginity right then and there, and I was a total and complete asshat for letting myself get lost in her.
I hadn’t meant to. Everything was my fault and I’d started all of it. Taking my shirt off to tease her had been a mistake. Asking her to lie down with me because I wanted to feel her body against mine had been a huge mistake, and not pulling away after kissing her had been the biggest mistake of them all.
I didn’t know what it was about her but it was like the more I was with her, the more I got to know her, the more I needed her. Every touch made me crave more and I needed her in a way I’d never needed anyone.
I’d fucked a lot of girls over the years, and while I tried not to be an asshole I knew I wasn’t the most generous lover. I liked to get off and I did what I could to make sure the girl enjoyed it too, but my focus was always on my pleasure.
With Avery I didn’t have that same desire. I didn’t want to get her off so she’d return the favor. I didn’t want to get her hot and bothered so she’d be receptive and fuck me. The thought of her hand or mouth on my cock was enough to make me crazy with lust, but that’s not what I wanted right then.
As fucked up as it was I wanted her to experience true pleasure. I wanted to be the first man to ever make her feel good, and watching her had been enough. Sure, my dick was still painfully hard and my mind was racing, but I was perfectly happy to just hold her and let time ease my ache.
I didn’t know what it meant, but I did know I had to stay away from her. I’d sworn I would never take a girl’s virginity and I was never going to let someone get into a position where they could hurt me.
If I spent too much more time with Avery and she asked me to kiss her again, I couldn’t guarantee that kiss wouldn’t turn into more. I knew she was a good person and I didn’t think she’d intentionally hurt me, but if I let myself be vulnerable and let her see the true me, she would leave like everyone else.
Keeping away from her was going to be hard, but it was the best thing, for both of us.
Chapter Seven
AVERY
For the next two weeks I barely saw Matt except in passing. He didn’t stay at the apartment when Logan and I were there and he never came out with us. He didn’t text or call, even though I gave him my number that day he left my dorm room after our kiss.
I didn’t know what was going on and I felt so stupid.
Of course he was out living his life and having fun. I’m sure he was out on dates while Logan and I were having movie nights, and I could only imagine how many girls he brought home when I wasn’t there.
I didn’t ask Logan about it, mostly because I didn’t think I could handle the truth, and also because Matt had asked me not to say anything about what had happened between us.
I felt alone and confused not being able to talk about what was going on in my head, but I was going to keep my word. I didn’t know why it needed to be a secret, I just hoped it wasn’t because Matt was embarrassed and didn’t want to admit he’d fooled around with me.
“I think you need a boyfriend,” Logan announced out of the blue as we ate Chinese takeout and watched The Princess Bride.
“What?” I almost dropped my chopsticks as I looked at him.
“I think it would be good for you. Give you some companionship and maybe a little action.” He grinned and winked.
“I could say the same thing about you.” I gave him a pointed look and stabbed a wonton with my chopstick.
“I get plenty of action, and you know why I don’t do relationships.” He shrugged. “But that’s my issue. You’re still pure as the new snow and haven’t had time to be jaded and bitter like me and Matty.”
“Matt? He’s jaded and bitter too?” I tried to keep my voice casual as I looked back at the TV.
“Even worse than I am.” He chuckled. “I swear that man is a revolving door of one night stands and casual sex. If he’s ever touched the same girl twice it would be a miracle.”
“Oh?” I felt tears prickling in my eyes and finally understood why Matt had pulled an invisible man. He’d messed around with me and now he’d moved on. I was old news to him.
“At least I’ll keep something steady, as long as it’s all for fun and drama free. He’s even worse than the twins.”
“Jaxon and Jason are only into casual sex too?”
“The four of us have a sort of reputation.” He shrugged and winked. “Us Robson brothers get around. We’ll give you the night of your life, just don’t be knockin’ on our doors looking for more ‘cause it aint happening.”
“Your reputation makes you sound like a cowboy.” I tried to make a joke to cover the devastation I was feeling. I guess I’d knocked on Matt’s door and it was painfully obvious he’d slammed it in my face.
“Ahhh, there’s nothing sexier than a ripped and rugged cowboy.” He grinned and glanced at me. “Am I wrong?”
“You’re not wrong.” I shook my head and put down my food container. I wasn’t hungry anymore. “So you think I need a boyfriend.”
“I do, and I know the perfect guy to set you up with.”
“You do?”
“His name is James and he’s in my econ class. He’s quiet and laid back and seems low-key. Definitely the right speed for you.”
Great, James sounded like a bicycle when all the other girls were getting to ride motorcycles.
“You think he’d want to go out with me?”
“I know he does.” He gave me a shit eating grin and I rolled my eyes.
“What did you do?”
“I chatted you up, showed him your picture and he was interested.”
“Logan, I’m going to look so desperate.”
“Having your gay bestie fix you up with someone is a rite of passage. The same as letting your gay bestie get you ready for your first date.”
“I have a date already?”
“Friday night.” He nodded. “He’
s waiting for your text to confirm.”
I just stared at him in shock. He’d set me up on a date and now he wanted me to confirm it?
“You want his number?”
“You think I should do it?”
“I think it’ll be good for you.” He nodded and patted my knee affectionately. “You need to branch out and meet new people. As much as I love having you all to myself, you need more than one friend in your life.”
“I guess you’re not wrong.” I bit my lip and sighed heavily. “Okay, I’ll text him.”
“Great!” Logan pulled his phone out of his pocket and quickly sent off a text. Not even a second later my phone buzzed on the table where I’d set it. “There, now you have his number. Cuddle time?”
“Cuddle time.” I nodded and waited until he’d put his phone away and held his arms out to me.
“You know, even after you get a boyfriend, I’m not giving up the cuddles.”
I laughed and snuggled into him. “Even if I’m all wrong and bumpy?”
“I can forgive the bumpy,” he said affectionately and gave me a squeeze. “And there’s nothing wrong about you.”
I smiled and turned my focus back to the movie. Maybe Logan was right. It was time for me to break out of my shell and experience everything. I’d already made one amazing friend, maybe there were others out there for me too.
* * * * *
By the time Friday rolled around I was a nervous wreck.
I’d never been on a date before and I had no idea what to wear or how to prepare. Logan had told me he would come over to help, and when he walked into my room two hours before my date he just shook his head at me.
“You look like you’re about to pass out.”
“I’m kind of freaking out.” I bit my lip as he went to my closet to look through my clothes. “What if I have nothing to say? What if it’s awkward or he doesn’t think I’m pretty. What if he thinks I’m a freak and—”
“Whoa there, sweetie.” Logan came to stand in front of me and gently held me by the shoulders. “Stop thinking like that.”
“I’ve never been out before. I’m nineteen and I’ve never had a date. I am a freak.”
“Sweetie, Avery. You’re not a freak.” He smiled and waited until I was looking into his eyes before continuing. “You’re an awesome, beautiful and wonderful person who’s just taken a little longer to start dating. If he can’t see how amazing you are then he doesn’t deserve you and you’ll find someone who does.”