My breath catches at the thought of all the pain and sorrow my disappearance caused them. My heart aches with the anguish my family must have suffered, and I realize I have a lot of explaining to do. I know I should call right away to let them know I’m safe, but I just can’t deal with having to relate everything that’s happened right now. Just the thought of it drains the energy out of me, but I really should see them as soon as possible. I tell Evan, “I’ll go see them tomorrow.”
“Brayden and Missy are coming over in the morning, but we can go to your parents afterwards.”
“Alright, I’m going to lay back down,” I say, finally feeling too exhausted to stay awake.
“Thank you,” Evan says, looking up at me.
“For what?”
“For our daughter—for Harper. And for this,” he says, gesturing to the three of us.
I nod my head and climb into bed, allowing sleep to finally claim me.
Chapter 16
Evan
It was a very long night and I didn’t get a wink of sleep. Between watching Alani sleeping next to me and getting up every hour to feed Harper, it was the best sleepless night I’d ever had. I spent the entire night wondering if it was all real. I was afraid that I’d wake up to find that it was all an Ambien-induced dream. It took a while for all of it to finally sink in—Alani is home where she belongs, and I’m now a father. I’m a father. To a little girl! God does have a sense of humor. Not only do I need to worry about my daughter’s immediate safety, but I also have a lifetime of worrying ahead of me. No shithead will ever be good enough for MY little girl, and I plan to keep my gun loaded at all times.
After Alani fell asleep, I sat on the bed next to her, holding our daughter in my arms. I was glad Alani asked me to stay in the room with her because I needed to have both of my girls close to me. Part of me was afraid that they’d just vanish in the night and I’d be left with nothing again, so I spent most of the night trying to come up with a plan to keep them both safe. Knowing Alani, she’ll try to leave out of some misguided idea that it will be the only way to keep Harper safe. But now that I’d just gotten her back, there’s no way in hell I’m letting her just take off.
The biggest challenge in the coming days will be keeping myself in check so that I don’t act impulsively and kill Dylan right away. As much as I’d like to put him in the ground, I remain hopeful that Jackson will reach out to him, now that Michael is out of the picture. More than Dylan, I want my hands on Jackson for what he did to Alani and what he had made Alani’s captors do to her. Seeing her so distraught in the shower last night makes me even more determined to make sure he suffers. With the mindfuck he put her through, I’m certain it will take a while for her to recover and be able to do the simplest things without something triggering a bad memory.
There are a lot of things that I still have to figure out, like what Cade and Alani will tell people about where they’ve been for the past eight months. Knowing Brayden and Missy will be coming in a few hours, I decide to shower and prepare for the day ahead of us. As the hot water hits me, I feel the sting of my injury at first, but my tense muscles soon begin to loosen up and my body is able to relax. It’s been a rough few days without sleep, and the bullet in the shoulder just added to the strain my body has been under. I duck my head under the stream of water and let all the stress of the past few months wash off of me and go down the drain. The only thing that matters right now is that my girls are here, safe with me. I swear, I’ll never let any harm come to them. Never in my life, have I ever had this much purpose. Feeling a sudden need to see them and make sure they’re really here, I turn off the tap and get out. Just as I’m drying off and putting a towel around my waist, I hear a bloodcurdling scream. I throw open my bathroom door and take off running. As I dash out of my room, I can hear Alani’s screams coming from her bedroom.
“EVAN! EVAN!” she cries out in a terrified voice. I crash into her room, expecting trouble. I look around for an immediate threat, but find none. Realizing there’s no apparent danger, I take in the sight of Alani cowering on the bed with her arms wrapped around her knees and Harper crying in the playpen. What the fuck happened?! I rush over to Alani and sit next to her on the bed.
“Alani, I’m here. What’s wrong?” I gently ask, putting my arm around her.
“You left!” she wails mournfully, grabbing on to me and squeezing me tight against her.
“I went to shower while you were still asleep,” I explain, stroking her back.
“You left,” she repeats softly against my chest. Not knowing what else to do, I pull her onto my lap and just hold her. As I’m soothing her mother, Harper thankfully falls back to sleep. I feel Alani’s body shudder as her crying starts to subside. Laying my cheek against her head, I stroke her hair and whisper words of comfort to her. God, I’ve missed her scent and her softness. I listen as she breathes in deeply, attempting to calm herself. She pulls away from me a little to look into my eyes for a moment before launching herself at me, her lips crashing into mine. It takes a few seconds to register what’s happening, but I’ve missed her too much to resist. I meet her demand with my own, as I coax her mouth open with my tongue. She puts her arms around my back and pulls me against her as if trying to eliminate even the slightest distance between us. She feels and tastes amazing! I never thought I’d see her again, let alone be able to hold her like this.
“Make love to me, Evan,” she pleads desperately in between kisses. Shit. I want her so fucking bad, but Noah said no sex for six weeks. I’m tempted to go against my brother’s professional opinion and give Alani what she wants, but she’d said last night that sex was the furthest thing from her mind. I know she’s not thinking straight right, and I’m not about to take advantage of her during her moment of weakness.
“We can’t, baby,” I regretfully say, resting my forehead against her temple.
“Please, Evan. I need you,” she insists.
“You don’t know how bad I want you right now or how much it hurts to say no. But we can’t do this. You’re not ready physically or emotionally,” I try to reason with her.
“I just want to make the last eight months disappear. To forget, even if it’s just for a few minutes,” she begs as she continues to grind herself against my now steel-hard cock. I take a deep breath and try to calm myself.
“Alani, stop.”
“Why? Don’t you want me anymore?”
“It’s not that. You know I want you—I’ll always want you. But you aren’t ready,” I explain. I’m having a hard time not giving her what she wants. Hell, it’s what I want, too. She looks so broken, but I know I’m making the right decision as I pull her off of me. She looks away embarrassed and it kills me to see her this way. I know she’s feeling rejected, so I say, “Alani, I want you, baby.”
My daughter takes this moment to let out a little whimper, and it’s the distraction that Alani and I both need. I walk over to Harper and see her stretching her tiny body. I lean down to pick her up, bringing her little body close to mine. I look over at Alani, who still has some tears in her eyes, and I take our baby over by her and sit down next to her.
“Can I hold her?” Alani asks.
“Of course,” I say handing Harper to her. I watch as Alani looks lovingly at our daughter. It takes everything in me to not break down. This is a sight I never imagined witnessing, but it’s a memory that will always stay with me—my girls are beautiful.
“I’m an awful mother. She deserves better,” Alani says in a broken voice, trying to hand Harper to me.
“Why would you even say that?” I ask, refusing to take our baby.
“I didn’t want her. I was going to abort her. I can’t even nurse her.”
“I didn’t want children either. Thousands of women face having to deal with an unplanned pregnancy and they make the decision that’s best for them. A lot of women don’t go through with their plan, but it doesn’t make them a horrible mother. I see the love in your eyes when you look at
her. You aren’t a horrible mother. Please, don’t talk about yourself like that,” I tell her.
“I need to get ready,” she responds. I can see that she’s still struggling with it as she gives Harper back to me and heads to the bathroom. I hate that I can’t fix this or make this go away. I know we need time to adjust and heal, but I just hope she doesn’t push me away—or our daughter. I decide to not let this moment pass without being there for her, so I place Harper back in the playpen and walk over to open the bathroom door. I guess I should’ve knocked, because I walk in on her as she’s taking off her shirt. She quickly drops her arms to cover her stomach.
“What are you doing in here?” she inquires.
“I wanted you to know that I’m here for you and that I want to work through this with you.”
“Can we talk about this later?” she questions, still taking the time to cover her stomach, but not her breasts. It dawns on me what she’s trying to hide. I walk over to her and remove her arms from her stomach. Before she can stop me, I kneel down in front of her and place a kiss on her soft belly.
“My daughter was in here,” I state simply.
“I know. Evan, I’m messed up and I need time to process everything.”
“Me, too. I’m still trying to wrap my mind around everything. We’ll get through this. I’ll let you get ready,” I say, starting to walk towards the door.
“I’m happy to be home,” she says quietly from behind me. My heart skips a beat when she says she’s home. Instead of saying anything else, I just look over to her and smile, before heading out of the bathroom.
Lani
We’re waiting for Cade, Brayden, and Missy to arrive, and I’m nervous to see Missy. I can’t imagine the pain she felt or all the fears she had since Cade went missing. I wonder if she hates me for not getting Cade out sooner. I’m a ball of nerves as the door opens and they walk in. I see love and compassion in Brayden’s face, but I still can’t bring myself to look at Missy. I look at Cade instead, who has a big smile on his face. He looks so happy, I can’t help but return his smile. Finally feeling brave enough to face Missy, I look over and see tears streaming down her face. She breaks out in a run towards me and throws herself at me, hugging me hard.
“Thank you, Lani! Thank you,” Missy cries out.
“I’m sorry.” It’s all I manage to get out.
“Why?” she asks.
“Because I couldn’t get us out sooner, you had to live the last eight months in hell.”
“It’s not your fault. No one blames you. Especially not me. You kept Cade safe and there are no words strong enough to describe the gratitude I feel towards you.”
“Where’s Harper?” Cade butts in.
“Right here,” Evan answers, pointing to the playpen. Cade runs over and just stares at the baby.
“Alright, we need to start talking about what we’re going to say. We need a story,” Brayden speaks up.
“It’s going to be hard to explain where Alani and Cade have been this whole time, but I don’t want to tip the police off about Dylan or Jackson. I’d like to take care of those two without having the police wondering later what happened to them,” Evan states firmly.
“I agree,” Brayden says, nodding his head. We sit down and go over different scenarios, making sure we think through everything thoroughly. Brayden disclosed that he and Maddox went back to the farmhouse to take care of the bodies and burn the house to the ground. He didn’t provide the details and I didn’t particularly care to know. I’m just glad they’re dead and I’ll do anything I can to protect the people who got me out of that hell hole.
After several hours, we decide it would be best for Cade and me to just tell the police we didn’t know where we were being held. And to steer them away from Indiana, we’ll tell them that we escaped in the middle of the night after we were told there were buyers coming for my baby the next day. We’re supposed to say that we walked until an eighteen wheeler picked us up and dropped us off along the freeway exit closest to Evan’s place. I just hope they believe us. After we finish talking, I notice that Cade has been at Harper’s side all evening—even when Evan was feeding her. I want to talk to him, so I ask Cade to join me on the balcony. He follows me and we sit and enjoy the warm June air for a bit.
“How are you, Cade?” I ask, my voice thick with emotion.
“I’m happy to be home...I missed my family. But I’m still scared,” he admits.
“I know. I am too,” I say. After a moment, I add, “Thank you, Cade, for being brave enough to jump and get us help.”
“You’re welcome, but I wanted to go home, too.”
I can’t help the tears escaping from my eyes. He voiced the same feeling and want that I had when we made the attempt to leave that attic. To go home. I’m finally home with Evan and our daughter. I know the healing part is a long way off, but I have to try. My daughter deserves the best, and I want to give that to her. I peek through the sliding glass door and see Evan pacing inside. He looks out at that moment and our eyes meet. I smile at him and I see a gorgeous smile appear on his face as he nods in acknowledgement. And for that brief second, all I feel is peace.
Chapter 17
Lani
I’ve been home for a month, and although I’m happy to be safe, I still feel like a prisoner. Since nobody knows where Jackson is, I’m not allowed to go outside of the penthouse. I can’t just go for a walk in the park with Harper in a stroller like a normal mom. I don’t know how much longer I can handle being cooped up like this. I’m still scared, but I know that I need to start living again—and so does Evan. He still hasn’t returned to work full time. He goes in a few days a week, but other than that, he stays at home with Harper and me. Whenever we do have to go out, it’s a big production. When Harper had an appointment a few days ago, Evan not only had security all around us, but he even had Maddox escorting us. I’m sure Evan means well, but sometimes he can go overboard with trying to keep us safe.
Although Evan and I are getting along, there’s now an awkwardness between us since I’ve been back. With me being gone so long, we probably both changed a lot during our time apart. I’m not used to having Evan always being gentle and quiet. I appreciate it—believe me, I really do appreciate it. But it also confirms that he’s not being who he truly is. I may not be quite ready for the aggressive, arrogant Evan yet, but I feel like his feelings for me have changed. Before I was taken, Evan let me know how much he wanted me. Since I came back, all we are to each other are Harper’s parents—and that’s it. I’m wondering if he resents me in some way. His whole life has changed, and now, he’s stuck in an apartment with a daughter he didn’t want and me—an emotional mess half of the time. He doesn’t see his brothers very often, and he just surrounds himself with me and Harper around the clock. One day, as he was laying Harper down, I heard him sighing. I looked at him and he had an irritated expression on his face. I know he loves Harper, but I’m sure being a father is taking its toll on him. Even if Harper and I can’t leave the penthouse, he should be able to.
To top it off, I’ve been struggling with this whole motherhood thing. It seems like I can’t do anything right when it comes to caring for my daughter. I’m not able to produce milk, so we’re stuck with using formula. Luckily, Harper tolerates it and has even been gaining some weight. Even with the breastfeeding problem solved, there’s still the matter of my inability to burp her properly once she’s fed. I feel bad when she starts crying from the discomfort, and I don’t know how to calm her down when she’s cries, like Evan does. Evan has taken to fatherhood like a fish to water, but I feel completely useless when it comes to our baby. I know I’m not a natural like Molly and Kerrigan, but I was wrong to ever think I could do this without Evan. I love my daughter, but at times I wonder if she’d be better off without me.
Evan
Alani’s been home for two months now, and I still sometimes sit in awe of my new life. I never would have pegged myself as a family man, but I like coming hom
e from work to see my girls. Alani tries to put on a happy face, but I know she’s struggling. I don’t want to add to her stress by pushing her to talk, but it’s killing me that she won’t let me ride out her highs and lows with her. With our little girl keeping us busy and my moving back into my own bedroom, we never get a chance to sit down and have a real talk—about her, us, or plans for the future.
Harper now has her very own ice princess-themed room. It’s a very girly room and my manhood takes a hit whenever I sit in there for too long. I’m surprised by how much I love being a father, but maybe it’s because Alani is her mother. Maybe the real reason I never wanted kids was because I’d never truly loved a woman until Alani came along.
We spend most of the time at home and it often frustrates me—especially at night, when I lay Harper down to sleep. I want to be able to take my family outside of our home and show my baby girl off to the whole world. But I have no idea where Jackson is, so I’m caught between wanting to have a life with Alani and Harper outside of the penthouse and wanting to keep them safe. At this point, I’m afraid Harper will be homeschooled. I feel like I’m failing my family. The former Governor, now Senator Morgan still gives me updates, but it’s always the same—no news.
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