Mister Romantic

by Alice Cooper

  “We’re here sir.” The driver turned and told him. “I’ll get the bags.”

  Ben stepped out of the car; they were nowhere near a house. “Hey where are we going? There’s no house.” Ben asked.

  “Yeah, we can’t drive up to the house and tell everyone you are her cousin.” The driver stopped talking for a second, and then pointed to the south. "That will be your ride the rest of the way.”

  Ben watched as the carriage drew closer to them. He looked closely at the girl and studied her as much as he could. He smiled upon seeing that some of her hair had come lose during her trip. It was flapping in the wind, and every once in a while she swipes it out of her eyes.

  The brown mass doesn’t pay attention to her pleas for it to stop either. He can hear her pleading to stay out of her eyes as she gets even closer.

  Ben is transfixed by the pure beauty of the girl who is in the driver’s seat. As she hops down from the carriage with an amazing grace, he is simply too dumb to talk.

  Finally the driver speaks to break the silence. “Sara Albright?” He asked.

  “Yes that is me. I’m sorry I was a little late. I was having a few issues at the farm.” Sara explained.

  Ben is studying her accent, trying to pick it apart. “Hi it’s nice to see you cousin. I’m Ben from your Uncle Burt’s side.” He tries to copy her accent.

  She laughs heartily. “Nice to meet you cousin, how is Uncle Burt doing?”

  “Was my accent really that bad?” Ben asks embarrassed. He was never embarrassed, but this girl turned his insides to jelly. He wanted to impress her.

  “No it was really good. It just shocked me that you did such a perfect job of it, after all you’ve only heard me once.” Sara smiled at him.

  He was lost in the smile. Maybe this trip wouldn’t be so bad after all.

  Chapter Three

  “As soon as we get to the farm house, I’ll give you some of Pa’s clothes. You tried, but even what you have on now isn’t Amish enough. These people will pick apart everything. We must pull this off. Just follow my lead on most of it for now. We can play that off as you’re the shy cousin; he hasn’t quite made it into that time of his life where he talks a lot. I think they will go for that. But if you start trying to interact too soon, they will pull you apart. Along with that they will kick us out of the community. I don’t know what I would do if that happened.” She explained to him.

  Ben wasn’t upset that she was telling him how much pressure he had on him. It would remind him that he needed to listen and absorb everything as quickly as he could. “Just how soon will we have people coming around?”

  “Well after you meet my brother and sister, they may tell some of their friends. Even if we tell them not too, there will be other people who are noisy. If someone comes and buys vegetables and sees you, they’ll spread it all over that you have come to visit. Just remember who you are, and why they’ve never heard of you.” Sara stated.

  “Hello, my name is Ben Albright. My cousin was kind enough to let me come and stay with her for a while. I may plan to move to Lancaster soon.” He said, using the accent from before.

  “Good and they are going to ask you right away where you are from.” Sara told him.

  “I’m from the Heuvelton settlement; it sits along the St. Lawrence River.” He answered, the accent now sounding quite natural to her.

  “Excellent. With the accent you have worked out very well, you’ll pull off the noisy people who come around.” She explained.

  “Won’t your brother and sister think it’s odd that they have never heard of me?” He asked. Ben was trying to locate any weaknesses in their story.

  “No, when my parents died I became the head of the household. They’ve not heard of all of our relatives, and may never know where all of them are located.” She explained.

  To him it sounded a bit weak, but he hoped she knew her culture better than he did. Of course she did, this had been her life for how long now? “Just how old are you Sara?” He asked. John had never told him many specifics. Just that she seemed like a really nice girl.

  “I’m 22 years old, just turned a week before my parents passed.” Sara said.

  He could hear the sadness in her voice. “I’m really sorry about your folks. I know what it’s like. I lost my mom when I was 14. My dad died a year later. Though I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose both at one time.” Ben told her.

  She could hear he was being earnest in his voice. “Thank you, it’s been very hard on us all. My brother and sister are very messed up by it too.”

  “I don’t know how you’ve taken over so much at such a young age.” Ben admitted.

  “By messing it up mostly, I was going to lose the farm, until your agent came around.” Sara laughed dryly, no humor in it at all.

  “Well I appreciate you helping me out.”

  “There’s the farm house.” She pointed out a shabby little shack looking thing.

  “It needs a bit of work.” Ben commented.

  “I can only do so much.” Sara said a bitterness coming through in the comment.

  “No I only meant I could help you with it. Believe it or not I do know how to do some hard labor.” He stated.

  “I’m sorry; I’m really a bit on edge right now.” She apologized.

  “No worry.”

  They took his bags in and she placed them into her Ma and Pa’s old room. Here are some clothes. My brother and sister will be home soon, they will normally play outside for a bit. Though I’ve been making Sally help with dinner every now and then, she needs to learn. Get changed, and you can look around outside. Just please remember the story just in case anyone sees you and comes up to talk.” Sara said. He could hear the plea in her voice.

  “Alright, don’t worry, I’m not going to do anything wrong.” He told her, though his confidence was shaky at best.

  Sara left the room and Ben missed her presence immediately. He would love to get to know her much better. He couldn’t help thinking about how she would be as a lover. After his entire playboy nature made him think that way all the time.

  “No way, she would be far different from those others.” Ben told himself. Sara would never be the type to let him touch her, not until they were married.

  The thought of marriage scared Ben. He didn’t want to have any part of it. Far too many times he had seen the damage that his parents’ marriage did to them both. They were always fighting; it was never quiet at his house. Ben had often wondered why they stayed together. Wouldn’t it be better to be alone, than to listen to someone yelling at you every day?

  He finished dressing and looked in the mirror. Now he really did look Amish, he was impressed how well the clothes looked on him. “Oscar here I come!” He muttered in the mirror and went to check out the rest of the farm.

  Before he could make it to the door though he ran into Sara and her brother and sister, they were all staring at him.

  “Henry and Sally this is our cousin Ben. He came to visit us.” Sara introduced him.

  “Hello nice to meet you both.” He shook Henry and Sally’s hand.

  “Who is your father?” Henry asked.

  Ben felt a bit of nerves pop up, maybe he knew more than Sally had given him credit for. “Uncle Burt, we live in upper New York, near the St. Lawrence River.” Ben explained.

  Henry shook his head like he accepted the answer. Ben wondered if he had spotted a weakness in the story so quickly. “Okay, I don’t know him anyway. Nice to meet you Cousin Ben, I have only a bit of time to play outside before I must do some chores.” Henry went out the door.

  Sally followed behind closely and soon it was just Ben and Sara again.

  “Good job.” She smiled at him. “I have to finish dinner, you can go look around. Maybe help Henry with the chores, he’ll love it.”

  “Sure.” Ben went out to explore more and figured what would it hurt to learn from Henry too.

  However, Henry finishes up to fast for Ben who had been los
t standing looking over a field that was filled with wheat. The beauty of this area had filled him with a joy he hadn’t felt in some time. This break away from the fast lifestyle would do him a lot of good.

  He sat down for what smelled like a wonderful meal. “I hope you don’t mind, I had Henry and Sally eat sooner. They have some homework to do tonight.” Sara explained why it was just the two of them eating.

  “Good, that way I can ask you questions and they won’t wonder why.” He smiled.

  “Ask anything you want.”

  “By the way the food is delicious.” Ben said as he shoveled in another huge scoop of meat and potatoes.

  “Thank you very much.”

  “Is it all homemade? I mean do you ever buy the powdered potatoes from a store?” Ben asked.

  “Never, why would I do that when we can get them from the Earth?” She answered shocked at his question.

  “What about a place to plug in my phone?” He asked.

  “We don’t use electricity. I’m sorry.” She apologized.

  “What, no way to charge my phone. I swear what would it hurt if you just put in some electricity?” Ben asked.

  “It’s our religion. We feel that we should live with the basics, only what God provides to us. Electricity was invented by man, not God.” She told him.

  “Well who gave him the idea, God?” Ben said.

  “Why take a chance, perhaps it was the devil. That means that everyone who uses it is going against God.” She explained.

  “That’s the stupidest thing I think I’ve ever heard. You’re telling me that everyone else on the face of the planet is going against God, because they use electricity.” Ben uttered.

  “I don’t expect you to understand our ways. But your agent wanted you to know about it. You either accept it or not. I’m not the one who is playing a part, you are.” Sara said. “You know what, I’m going to bed. You can wash up in the other room; I’ll heat some water for you. You know where the bedroom is.”

  Ben looked at her, he had insulted her. He hadn’t meant too, but he did think their thinking was backwards. However, as she pointed out, he was the one who was set to play an Amish character on the big screen. How could he pull it off he if didn’t at least understand why they did things, and he would have to practice it too.

  He wanted to tell her that he was sorry, but she was nowhere to be found. Instead he cleaned up and went to bed. His head feeling heavy on the pillow as he tried to sleep in a strange new world that he felt far too confused to figure out.

  Chapter Four

  Ben stretches as he wakes up. He looks around and realizes yesterday wasn’t a dream. No he’s still sitting in the shabby little Amish farmhouse. The bed had been quite comfortable and he at least had slept well. Now his mind was whirling again, he was trying to figure out how he was going to finish the two weeks here.

  As he is walking down the stairs he smells bacon and eggs. His stomach growls like he’s been starving for weeks. Ben knows better than though, he had ate the equivalent of a horse last night, he swore.

  “Hey Cousin Ben when you’re done eating, you want to come and help me in the field?” Sally looked at him.

  “You know you can just call me Ben! Sure let me just eat really quick and I’ll be right there.” Ben smiled at her.

  He noticed that she turned red as she ran off.

  Sara laughed a bit, “You embarrassed her a little, don’t worry, she’s shy!”

  “This is delicious.” Ben said. “I’m really sorry about my comments last night. You know they say that people often think of things as dumb, just because they don’t understand them. Really I want to know everything, and I promise to listen.”

  “Apology accepted. Now finish eating and go help Sally plow.” Sara motioned for him to finish up and go.

  Ben gulped down the rest of his meal and finished it off with a huge cup of coffee. He ran out the door to go to the field. He found Sally there struggling to control the horses as they moved the plowing instrument through the dirt.

  I don’t know how to do this, how in the world am I even going to help her. He studied her closely, trying to pick up her movements so that he could duplicate them. “I’m not sure to help you, what would you like me to do?” He asks her.

  She shakes her head as to say right now she doesn’t need him. He stands watching her, just in case she calls on him for help. He’s studying her so much that he doesn’t notice the old man who comes up behind him.

  “Hello young man. What are you doing here?” The old man’s voice is loud, and Ben jumps.

  “Oh I didn’t notice you coming up, I’m sorry. My name’s Ben, I’m here to visit my Cousin’s.” He holds out his hand to shake the man’s hand.

  “Hmm, I’m not sure I’ve ever heard of you. Which cousin are you?” He asks Ben.

  Ben is wondering who this old man is, when Sally spots him and runs up. “Grandpa, how are you today?” She asks.

  Now it makes sense to him, he must improvise though. “I’m her fourth cousin on her Uncle Burt’s side. We live up near the St. Lawrence River area in New York.”

  “Oh welcome to our community. I had heard we had a few relatives in that area. So Sara was kind enough to take you in? That’s nice of her, but I don’t know if it will help her out in the community or not.” The old man stated.

  “Well she should be considered as a very generous young lady. I think my cousin Sara might have given the wrong impression somehow.” Ben stated he felt as if he was defending her honor. He had wanted to say much more, but didn’t dare. It would have given up the story, and Sara would be kicked out of the community.

  “It’s that generous nature that made her the outcast. She should never have stuck up for Elizabeth. Not like she did anyway. If she really did know the truth, though some of us still wonder if she was fooled by the young girl’s story too.” The old man said.

  “I don’t think I’ve heard this story.”

  “Elizabeth went out for rumspringa and when she came back she was pregnant. Not only that but she tried to accuse one of the young men of the community, saying he had raped her. The truth came out though, and she was shipped off. Sara had fought for the girl, though she had never said anything about the boy. That’s what makes me think she knew the truth all along. Surely if she was sticking up for her friend, she would have wanted him to be in trouble. But instead she always avoiding condemning him. Some fell for the story that she didn’t know the truth, not me though. One more mistake from her, and she will be kicked out for sure.” He stated.

  Ben studied the man, he was quite serious, and Ben could see it in his eyes. “That would be a shame. I don’t know about this story though, and what she knew and didn’t know. I can only tell you the little bit I’ve seen and she’s a good girl, who will be a fine woman for some man one day.” Ben stated.

  “Oh she will never be a bride. No man in our community would touch her. She’s been marked by her choices of friends. She most likely had sex during rumspringa too. After all her and Elizabeth were like sisters.”

  Ben wanted to say, just because one of them was wild, it didn’t mean both of them were. He had never seen a sign from Sara that she even thought about such things, let alone had sex already. No she seemed pure as the day was white. “That’s a shame I think those men will be missing out a great bride.”

  The old man studied him a bit longer, and then wished him a good day. Ben studied the old man as he walked away. The weight of how bad it was for Sara in this community hit him like a brick.

  Chapter Five

  Sara was fuming as she got ready to go out and work for the day. She had just finished the dishes from breakfast, and Ben hadn’t lifted a finger to help out at all. Not with anything, many times she had tried to get him to help with chores. But he would simply look at her and go do something else.

  She didn’t mind teaching him things about this culture, but he needed to experience it too. How could he do that if he was so darn lazy though
? She had all but come out and asked him to help her with the fields today.

  “Oh, I sure wish I could find someone to help me plow the field today.” Sara had muttered loudly as he was eating the breakfast she had cooked.

  “What about Henry?” Ben had asked her.

  “He’s off to school right now.” Sara had answered.

  “Okay, how about your grandpa?”

  She hadn’t even answered him. She had gotten up and went to the kitchen. “Ask your grandpa?” She muttered under her breath as she began to wash the dishes.

  “I guess the fact that he’s old and can’t handle the horses wouldn’t be apparent to some hot shot movie star. Or the fact that even if I asked, he would be too ashamed to help me, and what others in the community would say about him.” She said angrily to the air.

  Sara knew that Ben was aware of her own standing in the community. However, what she wasn’t aware of was that he might have no idea what that meant to everyone else. Hopefully, Henry and Sally could avoid too much harm. After all they were young enough that the community could see that they had to stay where they were. If her grandpa had been younger, he would have quickly taken them in. At that point, they might have even decided to kick Sara out of the community. That would have depended on who believed her about Elizabeth or not. She hadn’t known during rumspringa that Elizabeth had sex. In fact, she hadn’t seen much of Elizabeth during that time. But no one in the community would believe that. No her and Elizabeth had always been together, so why would it be different at any point? That’s what they all thought; she could see it in their eyes. She was sure that the vote would have been to expel her right away. She would be placed in exile and never allowed back into any Amish community in this area, and perhaps others.

  Her mind was on all of this as she started to get the horses ready for work. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Ben as he approached. The horse wasn’t cooperating with her, for some reason he seemed frightened.